The Scarred Angel
by FamousSeaGreenEyes
Summary: AU. After being attacked by a werewolf, Bella moves to Forks - after all, werewolves hate the cold. But where there are no werewolves there are lots of Vamps and Bella finds herself falling for the one hiding in the woods. But what has Edward got to hide?
1. First Vamp

**Title: **The Scarred Angel  
**Rating: **T  
**Full Summary: **After being attacked by a werewolf, Bella Swan moves from Phoenix to Forks to live with her dad. After all, she's been scented and it's well known that werewolves tend to steer clear of cold, wet places like Forks. But where there are no werewolves then there are lots of Vamps. An admittance into the Association of Angels and a friendship with a shape-shifter later, Bella finds herself falling for the Vamp in the woods, Edward Masen. But what has Edward got to hide that means him staying clear of society? And why do him and the other Vamps act so…human? Everything Bella knows is being turned upside down and while she ponders these new changes and views, the enemies are closing in. And there's a fine line between enemy and friend.

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**PART 1: ****THE SCARRED ANGEL**

**1. First Vamp**

My father's reaction when he saw my face should have come as no surprise to me but it did. His eyes widened and a look of disgust danced along his features before he composed himself. My dad, Charlie, had never been good at hiding anything though and I knew he found it uncomfortable to look at me.

"It's nice to see you again, Bells," he said, focusing on gathering my bags rather than talking to my face. "It's a shame about the circumstances though."

I only nodded, mute as we left the airport and loaded up his police cruiser. We didn't talk during the long ride to Forks which was both good and bad. Good because it had been ages since I last saw Charlie and I didn't know what to say; bad because it left me alone with my thoughts, reminded me of why I was here in the first place.

When I was three years old, my mom left my dad in Forks and moved to Phoenix where she met and married Phil. Everything was fine. I would go and spend a few weeks of summer with my dad up until I was twelve, then I decided not to go anymore. It wasn't because I didn't like spending time with my dad. It was just because Forks became a haven for the Vamps. It's not unknown that Vamps prefer cold, wet towns as opposed to the hot, humid cities.

Werewolf sightings were quite common in Phoenix but, as long as we followed the correct procedure on full moon – draped mistletoe over all the entrances of the house – we were safe. Or at least we were until I messed everything up a few months ago.

Being attacked by a werewolf is painful. But I was, surprisingly, one of the lucky ones. I might have been scarred for life but at least I was still human.

"Bells, we're home," Charlie said as he pulled up into the driveway of his – our – home. I knew then it was going to be hard settling in. Charlie brought my bags upstairs – I was too tired to protest.

"I'll leave you to sort yourself out," he said gruffly, always averting his eyes away from me, before he left the room. I listened to his heavy footfalls down the stairs and into the living room, he switched the TV on. It was a good few minutes before I realized I was still rooted to the spot.

Unfreezing myself, I made my way into the bathroom. Being human, I wasn't used to luxury so the creaking floorboards and the thin windows didn't bother me. I was just surprised this house had stairs. Back in Phoenix, everybody lived in single-storey cabins – except for the odd Vamp of course. The Arizonian heat kept us warm though buckets could be found round the house whenever we had a freak rain shower. The roof wasn't sturdy enough. I always wondered why Vamps couldn't build our houses too. It's not like they don't have the strength or the time.

The bathroom was small but had a tub – something else I wasn't used to. I caught my eye in the mirror over the sink but didn't recoil as I would have done a few months ago.

My injuries from the attack meant I had a large scar running from the right side of my forehead down to my jaw line on the left side of my face. I was lucky to still have two working eyes though they wouldn't be noticed amidst the smaller but still present scars all over my cheeks and nose. Under my clothes I had an even worse scar running up my left inner leg from where it had been stitched back up after it'd been sliced open. I had loads of scars running across my arms and my torso too. That was another good thing about moving to Forks; not only was I safe from the werewolves but the cold weather meant I could get away with hiding my marks under layers of jumpers and coats.

Silently, as if in a trance, I lifted my shirt up and over my head. Tossing it to the floor, I reached up to the hollow of my throat and traced my worst scar down to the top of my cleavage. This, the doctors told me, was the Killer Scar. The one that, if they had not operated and removed the parasite fast enough, would have made me one of _them. _

Night had fallen by the time I got out of the tub and changed into my pajamas. I'd always slept in a T-shirt and sweats just in case we had to make an escape during the night.

Charlie was still in front of the TV when I got downstairs. We regarded each other silently. I could tell he was trying not to look at the marks up and down my arms.

"School tomorrow," he stated, unsure of what to say. I nodded mutely again before realizing I needed to start finding my voice if I wanted a new start.

"Thanks for taking me in, Dad," I said, sitting on the sofa next to his armchair.

"Don't thank me, Bella," he said seriously. "You're my daughter. You have every right to be here."

"I'm sure Renee would be grateful too," I said, thinking of my poor mother hauled up in some jail cell back in Phoenix.

"Did you see her before you left?" Charlie asked, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen so as not to look like he was hanging on to my every word. He was so obvious.

"No," I replied sadly. "They said I wasn't allowed."

"And by 'they', you mean…?" Charlie trailed off but we both knew who we were talking about.

"The L.W.C," I confirmed. It had taken all my control not to put an ugly adjective in front of the agency's name.

"Forks High is a nice school," Charlie said after a beat of silence. I almost smiled at his attempt to change the subject.

"I'm sure it is," I agreed, happy to go along and pretend everything was normal and safe; that we were fine and equal in the world.

(*)

Charlie had bought me a truck to drive to school in. It was nice of him and I was happy to have it until he mentioned Renee and Phil had put to it. It saddened me to know that they'd be spending the rest of their lives in jail and so had decided to spend what little remained of their money on me.

Forks High was a lot smaller than my old school so I had no problem navigating my way around. People rarely spoke to me but I had no problem with that. People rarely spoke to me back in Phoenix. It wasn't uncommon for children to play together as toddlers under the watchful eyes of our parents, oblivious to the dangers that lurked around us. But once we were old enough to understand what was going on around us, friends withered into acquaintances. To get too close to somebody was dangerous; there was no telling whether or not you would lose them in the next full moon. And there was also no telling if they were a werewolf themselves until full moon. And, in situations like mine, nobody wanted to befriend somebody who had been scented.

But nobody turned against each other. Living in a city populated with werewolves and run by Vamps really made people band together if not in the closeness of friendship.

That was why I was thoroughly surprised to hear a blonde girl talk badly about another girl as I waited to go into my English class. I couldn't help but stare at her as she continued to be rude about 'Angela Weber'.

"Stupid freak," she practically spat at her comrade next to her. "What does she think she's doing? Trying to bring about world bloody peace?" She emphasized on the word 'bloody' and I shuddered. No doubt about it; she was a Vamp Wannabe. She didn't look like the type of girl who had the brains or the decency to Qualify for a VQA though.

"Just ignore them," a tall girl with short brown hair spoke to me from behind. I turned round, surprised when the girl gave me a friendly smile rather than flinching at my scars.

"I'm sorry?" I said because I wasn't sure whether the girl was on about the blonde girl and her pack or the boy up ahead who was commenting rather loudly on my scars.

"Lauren and Jessica," the girl explained, nodding her head in the direction of the two girls. "They're Vamp Groupies."

"Groupies?" I commented, smiling despite myself. Nobody should want to be a Vamp in my mind and those type of people disgusted me. Still, I liked the word.

"Yeah, what do you call them back in Arizona?" the girl asked.

"Wannabes," I said before adding, "But I prefer 'Groupies'."

The girl laughed. "I'm Angela by the way."

I automatically looked over to where Lauren and Jessica stood, now watching us with interest. I wondered what they thought; were they pleased to see the 'stupid freak' and the new scarred girl talking?

"Yeah, I'm _that _Angela," Angela confirmed for me, rolling her eyes.

I blushed slightly, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Bella," Angela said, because, being a small town, everybody already knew my name.

I'd already found out from the Office Staff that the whole town was shocked to find the daughter of their Chief of Police had been attacked by a werewolf. I'd overheard them talking about it as I picked up my timetable. They'd made it sound as though Charlie should have been there to protect me.

I felt rather than saw the line behind me start to move as the class filed into English. To my surprise, Angela grabbed a seat next to me. Nobody had spoken to me face-to-face all day and I wasn't sure how to act. I'd heard people whispering about me in the halls and that was enough to throw me off-balance.

"So what do you think of Forks so far?" Angela asked as the teacher busied herself at the front of the room before class began.

"It's wet," I replied, looking out the window where the rained pounded down hard as if to prove my point.

Angela laughed. "That it is," she agreed.

The teacher then turned to face the class. I noticed the blood-red band around her wrist, letting everybody know she was Qualified. I thought of my poor grades and wondered what the future held for me.

"I want to go into politics," Angela told me quietly. She must have seen me staring at the band around the teacher's wrist. "But everyone tells me it's a Qualified Career."

"It is," I whispered back. "If you're going into politics then the Vamps at least want you on their side."

Angela grinned at me, her grey eyes sparkling with mischief. "But I'm not," she said.

I decided I liked Angela a lot.

At lunchtime I sat with her, both of us picking at the food the cafeteria had to offer.

"You seem like just the girl I'm looking for," Angela said nonchalantly, keeping her eyes on her sandwich which she was inspecting. "I've been looking all over town for somebody who hates Vamps as much as me."

"I was attacked by a werewolf, Angela," I reminded her, "Not a Vamp."

Angela looked up at me, frowning. "I wasn't talking about your scars," she said, so sincerely that I believed her. "I was talking about the way you looked at Miss Bunker's wristband and the way you grinned when I mentioned Lauren being a Vamp Groupie."

I smiled again at the name and Angela nodded enthusiastically.

"So you're telling me everyone around here loves the Vamps?" I asked.

"There are loads round here," she explained, "One of them is even in the hospital."

I choked on my sandwich. "The hospital?" I asked, once I'd taken a swig of my water to ease the coughing.

Angela smiled at my reaction. "He's been there since before I was born," she told me.

"I thought Vamps liked to travel," I pointed out, remembering the few Vamps back home. I'd had one for a History teacher in the seventh grade but he'd only lasted one semester before he moved on to 'bigger and better things'. He was one of the main reasons I couldn't stick their species. So it was alright for them to come and go as they pleased but yet they controlled us, herded us around like…like sheep?

"See, this is the thing," Angela continued in a hushed whisper. "I've lived here all my life so I've always assumed they stayed in the same place. It was only when I did some research that I discovered our Vamps are a bit weird."

"How do you mean?" I asked. The thought of weird Vamps freaked me out a bit; they were bad enough when they weren't weird.

"They all seem to be friends," Angela explained, looking round the cafeteria as if making sure we weren't being listened to. "Usually, so I've read, they only interact with their Mates."

"How many Vamps are here?" I asked.

"Six," Angela answered. "We do get the odd nomad coming through but six of them have been here permanently. My dad said some of them moved here when he was a boy."

"Great," I whispered. I knew what my move to Forks would entail but I'd been hoping not to take notice of the Vamps who lived here. Now though, it seemed inevitable that I would run into them pretty often.

I'd always been a klutz but now I was hoping I wouldn't land myself in hospital too many times. The last thing I wanted was to be treated by a _Vamp doctor._

"Hey, Bella!" a boy called, walking over from a nearby table. He called to me as if he knew me but I barely recognized him from my Spanish class.

"Tyler," he introduced himself, taking a seat on the other side of me. Angela wrinkled her nose at him but I decided to give him a chance. I smiled at him, hoping I didn't look to grotesque. "How are you liking Forks?" he asked, smiling. I tried to find some disgust in his eyes but alas there was none.

"It's okay," I said, shrugging and smiling shyly. I was aware of Angela gawking at the side of me and of the people on Tyler's table looking at us but I tried to ignore them. Boys had never really showed interest in me back in Phoenix. This was new…and nice.

"It's even better on weekends," he said. I laughed a little with him.

But of course it was too good to be true. Once Tyler had gotten me relaxed and comfortable, he went in for the kill. Leaning forward so our faces were just inches apart, he smiled and said, "So, a werewolf, huh?"

Angry tears burned my eyes and I stood up quickly, my chair scraping against the floor behind me. I heard laughter from Tyler's table as I stormed out of the cafeteria. Angela was calling my name. But I blocked them out. I hadn't wanted anybody to know in the first place but my physical injuries were a constant reminder; my neon signs of scars. If it weren't for them, nobody would have known. The last thing I wanted was for people to make my fun of me, to target me because of my attack.

Unfortunately, lunch wasn't over yet so I made my way into the girl's toilets on the second floor, content with staying there until the bell for Art rang. However, the toilets weren't empty.

Lauren and Jessica stood there, admiring their reflections in the mirror. They caught my eye on the reflective glass as I entered the room and turned round at the same time to greet me, lipstick smiles plastered on their faces.

"So, Bella," Lauren said casually. "Is it true that they actually got the parasite out of you in time?"

My breath caught in my throat. This wasn't fair. It was like I couldn't escape it.

"Because we've heard stories," Jess said, taking the reins, "About werewolf victims who thought they were cured but come next full moon…" She trailed off, arching her brows in mock sympathy for me.

I tried to ignore them and went straight to the sink pretending I needed to wash my hands. All the while I was aware of them watching me.

"How did it happen?" Lauren asked suddenly. "What did you do? Go up to it and ask for a hug?"

I had been drying my hands on a paper towel when she asked and, in my frustration, I threw the towel in the bin and headed out the door before I could say anything I would regret.

They didn't understand. None of them did. They'd grown up in a world filled with Vamps. I bet they had never even seen a live beastie in their lives, never had to endure the snarling as they paced outside your bedroom window looking for a way in.

The bell rang as soon as I exited the toilets, much to my relief. I found Art easily by the way it was decorated. The corridor had paintings from students all over its walls and glass cabinets lined the hallway filled with creative models. I shivered. I didn't belong here; Art was never really my thing. I wondered if I could ask the Office to skip this lesson and take an extra English class instead.

I was even more persuaded to do just that when I saw the teacher.

Angela wasn't in this class but the tables were all individually set out, thank goodness. I found a seat at the front of the class – a place where nobody could talk to me without the teacher hearing every word.

The teacher didn't have a red band around her wrist when she entered the room. Instead the blood red color was found in her eyes as she focused in on me; the new student, the fresh blood. You could tell she was into Art by the way she dressed in clothes that were quirky yet fashionable. At first glance she was so small with spiky black hair that I would have mistakened her for a boy.

Her voice, however, was definitely not a male's. It was high without being shrill, and sweet without being sickening. Overall, it lured people in and got them listening, as was the idea.

"Hello again!" the Vamp greeted giving everybody a big smile. Her sharp white teeth were enough to intimidate even the tallest boys in the class. I wondered if Tyler was here but I couldn't take my eyes off the little Vamp to turn around and check.

She zoned in on me then. "My name is Alice Whitlock and I'll be your Art teach for the year," she said. I balled my hands into fists.

Day One in Forks and I'd already encountered my first Vamp. Great.


	2. Delivery

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**2. Delivery**

Alice was an unusual teacher in a number of ways.

Number One: she wasn't human. Though Vamps like to specialize in things like Music and History and so they usually did a few years teaching, being a teacher was a human's job. Most of the human teachers were Qualified as teaching required a degree and the only to get a degree was to go to University – which you had to Qualify for. Some slipped through the net in substitute teaching and things like that. Back in Phoenix I had two teachers for Mathematics; a Vamp who claimed to have been round when 'Mathematics was invented' and an unQualified human who took over when the Vamp couldn't be bothered making it in. He was, literally, the teacher's pet.

Number Two: she refused to be acknowledged as Mrs. Whitlock. We all had to call her Alice which was just as well because she looked too young to be married. It was creepy.

And Number Three: she liked to interact with the students which, obviously, wasn't great for me.

I spent the lesson with my head in my sketchbook, doodling ideas for the final project at the end of the year. As usual, it could be anything presented in any way. Alice may have been unusual but she was pretty unoriginal when it came to the curriculum.

"Hello, Bella," she said to me when she reached my desk. "I heard you're new in town."

I nodded.

"You're probably sick of people asking how you find Forks aren't you?" she asked, smiling.

I nodded again and she laughed, a high twinkling laugh. I folded my arms across my chest and leant further back in my chair. She must have been able to tell by my scars that I had been scented, that I had been attacked by a creature she was sworn to defend. What did the werewolves mean to the Vamps anyway?

"Can you stay behind after class?" Alice asked suddenly. "I have a favor to ask you."

Surprised, I found my eyes wandering over to the other side of the front of the classroom where Lauren and Jessica sat, glaring at me. No doubt they were jealous I had made Alice laugh, angry that Alice had asked me to stay behind and not them. This was probably the only reason they'd taken an Art class – because a good review from Alice would give them a better chance at a VQA.

"You don't have to," Alice said hurriedly, sensing my hesitation, "But I would be really grateful if you could."

I tried to avoid looking her in the eyes while she spoke to me but now I couldn't help but notice a pleading look amongst the ruby red. Her pale face looked desperate. I nodded again, communicating I would stay.

Despite the fact I had yet to utter a word to Alice, she beamed. "Excellent," she said before moving quickly onto the student next to me with whom she discussed the color of her boots.

I couldn't concentrate for the rest of class then, knowing Alice wanted to keep me behind. I tried to tell myself that Alice couldn't kill me. Heck, it was against the law for her to even feed off me but I also knew there had been Vamps in the past that had gone against the laws enforced by the Volturi.

Alice didn't look like the kind of person who could hurt a fly but, at the end of the day, she was still a Vamp. The question was: did I care if she killed me or not?

My mom and her husband were in jail. My life had been turned upside down by moving here. And, if the werewolves ever strayed near this town, I was putting Charlie in danger. Maybe my death wouldn't be such a lost cause after all.

When the bell rang for the end of class, everybody filed out without a backwards glance at me still sat in my seat. Lauren and Jess looked back though, their eyes filled with jealousy though I may have mistaken a look of awe in Jess'.

"Sorry to do this, Bella," Alice said once the room was clear. She shut the door and I felt my heart pick up, my palms grow sweaty. I had been so accepting of my death earlier yet now I was so afraid. Alice smiled gently at me, sensing my fear with her enhanced senses, like a tiger would its prey.

"It's okay, Bella," she assured me. "I only wanted to ask a favor and you are free to say no if you wish."

She walked over to her desk and, from behind it, produced a basket. It was a nice basket, one that might be found in a fairytale or used by children to collect Easter Eggs on an Egg Hunt. Two red bows were tied elegantly on each side of the handle. I couldn't see inside for the white cloth that was draped over the contents.

"I have a…friend who lives in the woods," Alice told me, half-confident, half-hesitant. "He's a bit of a hermit so I take things to him every once and a while to keep him entertained." She looked at me as if waiting for me to ask questions. When I didn't, she continued. "I was just wondering if, today, would you mind dropping the basket off?"

I cocked my head to the side, not quite believing what she was asking of me.

"Is this friend of yours a Vamp?" I asked, finally finding my voice.

Something close to anger flashed across Alice's eyes and I cringed as I realized my mistake. Before I could correct myself, however, Alice said, "He is a _Vampire_, yes."

"Would I be the treat along with the basket?" I couldn't help but snap.

Alice let that one go though, as if she had been expecting it. "You don't have to do this, Bella."

"Then why are you asking me and not the Groupies like Lauren or Jess?" I demanded.

"Because I know this will benefit you," Alice told me confidently. "But you need to take this chance."

I hesitated. On one hand, I didn't care about dying anymore as I had discovered during the lesson. But, on the other, I didn't fancy doing a Vamp's dirty work either. And, I must admit, part of me was extremely curious to see why a Vamp was hiding out in the woods. I knew there were some of their kind who preferred to live in secluded areas but they usually got their own things instead of having a friend deliver things to them via decorated wicker baskets.

"Where does he live?" I asked, sighing.

Alice hurriedly sketched a map on a piece of paper at Vamp speed. I tried not to let it show how much it fazed me. "Just drop the basket on the step and leave," she instructed me. "You won't see him today."

Today? Alice was starting to scare me but I had been rude enough to her today without asking more questions. She may have been a Vamp but she looked so fragile and small that I didn't have the heart to be rude. Besides, she had been nice enough to me.

I took the basket and the map and headed for the door. "If anything happens to me-" I began before I left but Alice interrupted.

"Nothing will happen," Alice said. "I promise."

"And you'll explain what all this is about tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

"How about this time next week?" Alice suggested. "He'll be ready for another basket then."

I nodded, wondered – not for the first time – what I was doing, and left.

The truck Charlie gave me wasn't really built for the bumpy roads and pathways it took to get to the spot Alice had drew on the map. With each tree I passed I began to worry I would never find the house and would end up wandering around the woods, lost. It almost made me laugh the fact that I was more worried about getting lost than being trapped in the middle of the woods with a hermit Vamp.

When I did eventually find it, the house was more like a little cottage. Made of grey stone, it stood out amongst the trees, empty windows stared down at me like black eyes from grey sockets. I did as Alice asked. I dropped the basket on the porch and then found myself running to my truck. It felt oddly like a game of knock-and-run, something I used to play with the kids in my neighborhood before I became aware of how dangerous the world was.

Once I was safely in my truck, I stared at the cottage, wondering if there was any sign of life inside.

I screamed when I heard the bang on the roof. The metallic hit rang in my ears and I clamped my eyes shut, pressing my hands over my ears. After a few minutes of silence, I opened them slowly expecting to find the watery yellow eyes of the werewolf staring at me from the rusted red bonnet of the truck. But I saw nothing.

Nothing except for a slight movement inside one of the cottage windows.

I drove out of there as fast as I could, sure somebody was following me all the way home. I pulled up outside Charlie's house, and waited for my heart to stop hammering in my chest. I thought I had been ready to die but now I knew I was wrong, otherwise I wouldn't have been so scared. Right?

Once my heart rate had returned to normal, I hopped out of the truck and went inside. Charlie wouldn't be home until later. One of the many disadvantages of having a non-Qualified job was your working hours were completely out of your hands.

I decided to cook him dinner – it was the least I could do seeing as he was already risking so much because of me.

Over dinner Charlie asked me about my first day at school. I told him the good parts; how I had found my way around easily enough and how I had made friends with Angela Weber.

"Ah, the minister's daughter," Charlie said, his eyes looking behind me. "She's a good girl." The minister's daughter. Suddenly her hatred for Vamps made so much sense. I wondered if her father had ever tried an exorcism. Probably not given the way Charlie spoke of him, he sounded as though he was still alive.

I missed out the parts about Tyler, and Alice asking me to drop a basket off for her hermit friend – who I was sure by now had been the one to jump on my truck.

Charlie did ask how the truck was running though.

"It's great," I said, "Where did you get it from?"

"A friend of mine used to own it," Charlie explained, smiling at something. "His son fixed it up first. Apparently it was in pretty bad condition."

"That was nice of him," I said aloud.

"They're shape-shifters," Charlie blurted. At first I thought he had said it as a way to excuse their kind behavior but I then realized he had wanted me to know about them and just hadn't found the appropriate moment to tell me.

"I've got no problem with shape-shifters," I told him sternly. "They're the gypsies of the world," I added, quoting what I had once heard a shape-shifter say when a tribe had travelled through Phoenix when I was younger. "They stick to their own rules and don't harm anybody."

"Exactly," Charlie beamed. I think he was just pleased I wasn't going to start a hate campaign against his friends.

"So what is their Shape?" I asked.

Charlie froze. He must have been hoping I wouldn't ask that because his face contorted with disappointment and sympathy. At first I had thought the sympathy was for them but as soon as he said, "Wolves," I knew it was for me.

There was a loud metallic clanging as I dropped my knife and fork onto my plate.

"They're not the monstrous type," Charlie hurried to assure me. "And you being…as you are won't affect their view on you in the slightest." I continued to glare at him. He looked uncomfortable but held my gaze. "They're just like…big dogs."

At that I burst out laughing.

Maybe it was the stress of starting a new school, talking face-to-face with a Vamp, and then nearly having a heart attack whilst delivering a package for said Vamp but I couldn't stop laughing. In the end I had to hold my sides because they hurt so much.

"Bells, are you okay?" he asked uncertainly.

"I'm fine," I sighed after my laughter had ceased. "I think I just need some sleep."

"So do I," Charlie agreed.

The following week went by without incident though Angela and I grew closer whilst Tyler continued his short chats with me. The first time he had approached Angela had told him to back off but I told her to ignore him. I let him flirt with me to show I didn't care about what he said. He could carry on for all I cared, he'd get bored eventually.

What kept me going through the week was Thursday's last period Art class. My first delivery had sparked my curiosity; I'd been so worried about finding my way I hadn't even bothered to look inside the basket. I wanted to know who this hermit Vamp was and what Alice had to do with him.

So, with all that on my mind, I almost forgot the full moon on Wednesday night. Almost.

Charlie found me stood outside on the porch when he came home from his shift at the police station. I was too busy staring at the doorframe and the surrounding windows to notice him walk up behind me and place a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped, screamed, and backed into the wooden door making it shudder violently in its frame.

"Jeez, Bells," Charlie said, clearly not having been expecting me to be so jumpy. "What's the matter? Did something happen?"

Charlie's eyes filled with unmistakable fear as he glanced at the forestry surrounding his house. We were silent for a moment as I listened with him for the break of a branch or the snarl of a snout. But there was nothing.

"They won't come out here," he said with surprising confidence. "Not with all the Vampires."

Despite my fear, I quirked an eyebrow at him in surprise over his politeness to the dominant species.

Seeing my expression, he shrugged and said sheepishly, "I was with a couple of them today. You have to be polite, Bells."

"What do you mean you were with a couple of them today?" I asked more horrified than shocked.

"They have a hotel on the town borderline," Charlie explained. "You might have seen it when we drove in, it's just by the Forks welcome sign." I tried to think but I couldn't recall anything from that car ride other than being lost in my own memories. Nevertheless, Charlie continued, "I stopped by this morning and told them about your situation. I basically asked them to keep a lookout and I wanted to know how many Vampires were staying there. I haven't seen one of these beasts before personally but I know there's strength in numbers."

For a moment there was nothing but croaking of the crickets which surrounded us in the dark. I was shocked by a number of things; Charlie never seeing a live werewolf before; the Vampires owning a hotel; Charlie asking them for a _favor._

"Come on, Bella, let's go inside," Charlie said, putting a fatherly arm around me. I walked with him but couldn't help but glance back once more at the unprotected doorway. "They won't come here; it's too cold," he assured me, closing the door behind us. "There's no need for any of that mistletoe stuff."

I nodded mutely.

Charlie led me into the living room where we sat for a few moments in silence – Charlie not even bothering to turn the TV on – before he thought of something to take my mind off the full moon.

"That hotel I was telling you about before is especially for Vampires you know," he said casually. I looked up to let him know I was listening, partly to distract me but mainly because I was interested. I'd never heard of Vamp-exclusive buildings before. Usually everything gave priority to the Vampires so it always seemed like they didn't need such things.

"Rosalie and Emmett McCarty run it," he went on, "Though they have a lot of help from Dr. Cullen's wife, Esme."

My eyes widened at how many Vamps he had mentioned in one sentence as well as how friendly he talked about them.

He must have seen my reaction because he said, "They're not like the ones you've met, Bella. I don't know what them Vampires are like down in Phoenix but I bet the heat's gone to their heads. The Vampires round here? Well, you can actually have a conversation with them if that's what you're wondering. They've been here since I was a kid. Dr. Cullen helped to deliver you."

I froze, feeling vomit rise up my throat at the thought of a Vamp assisting in my birth.

Charlie must have seen that reaction too because he quickly dropped the subject and switched the TV on. I went to my room in silence.

It was only when I was under my covers that I remembered the natural satellite outside my room. I couldn't help but stare at it from my position in bed and wonder how such a beautiful thing can turn people into monsters. Because it was beautiful, the way it seemed to light up the black blanket of the night sky, the way it glowed like a halo ran around its surface.

But still it made my heart beat faster in panic, made my palms sweat with fear. As I turned my back to the window in an attempt to get some sleep, I wondered if I would ever feel safe during a full moon again.


	3. The Shape Shifter

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**3. The Shape-Shifter**

The final bell rang, signaling the end of school. Just like last week I waited behind, adamant that I would demand answers from Alice this time.

Alice was busying herself with another basket.

"It's getting harder to find books," she said off-handedly. "He doesn't read that often and he's read all the books he likes."

"You do realize I have no idea what you're talking about," I informed her. I was surprised to find it was a lot easier to talk to Alice than it had been the previous week. The way she had been expecting me had made me feel a lot more comfortable than before.

"Sorry," she said, throwing an apologetic smile over in my direction. "I bet you have loads of questions. Where do you want to start?"

I was taken aback by how prepared she was to answer me. I'd thought she would have shoved the basket in my hands and shoved me out the door before I had the chance to even pester her about answering my questions.

"Erm…" I faltered. "Who is _he_?" I asked. "As in your friend, what's his name?"

Alice thinned her lips and narrowed her red eyes as though she was deciding whether or not she should answer me. Eventually she gave in. "His name's Edward Masen," she said.

"And what's he doing out in the woods?"

"Hiding."

"From what?" I asked, surprised. What would a Vamp have to hide from?

"I can't tell you that," Alice said, smiling her apologies. "That's his story – you'll have to ask him."

"So I'll see him today?" I asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "But just a glimpse."

"How do you know?" I asked but then it dawned on me. "You're a Special aren't you?" I said without thinking.

"I'm a _Gifted _Vampire," she corrected me with a slight glare. "I can sometimes see the future."

"Holy crap. Are you serious?" I asked.

She nodded, smiling as though she was pleased with my reaction. "I am," she said. "But don't tell anybody else. I wouldn't want the whole school to know."

"Then why are you telling me?" I asked.

"Because I have a feeling I can trust you," she said, tapping her head and winking at me.

I took a step back. "Don't do that!" I cried. "It's creepy." But my smile gave me away. Maybe if Alice had been a couple of feet taller and not smiled so much I would have found her really creepy. But at the moment I was intrigued.

"So what's in the basket?" I asked, getting back on track with the questioning.

"A few things for Edward," Alice said, taking off the blanket and revealing an assortment of CDs, DVDs and books along with a couple of clothes. "Like I said, he's hiding so he hardly ever comes out into the real world."

"What about blood?" I asked. I hadn't meant to offend. I'd simply noticed that if I were constructing the basket I would have included food only to realize Vamps don't eat food – they only drink blood. But by the way Alice's smile was wiped off her face, I knew I had struck some sort of nerve.

"We don't talk about that," she said, replacing the blanket. We lapsed into an uncomfortable silence before Alice handed me the basket. "Do you still have the map?" she asked.

I nodded and gladly left the room.

I found the way to…Edward's cottage more easily this time around. Parking my truck in a skewed fashion a few feet from his porch, I hopped out with the basket and made my way up the steps. Alice hadn't said anything about leaving it in front of the door so I decided to try my luck and knock.

A few seconds after I'd done it, I regretted it. For all I knew Mr. Masen would kill me without even pondering why I was here. Alice had mentioned he was in hiding, adding more the list of reasons why he wouldn't want a little human like me stood outside his home.

But Alice had also mentioned I would get a glimpse of him today. Who was I to argue with a future-teller? It scared me that I was putting so much trust into a Vamp.

The door didn't open but I saw the curtains from the window on the right side of the door twitch out of the corner of my eye. Taking a deep breath, I turned to the disturbance and held up my basket as a peace offering.

I dropped it upon hearing the snarl.

I'd only heard a Vamp snarl once before in my life when I'd wondered too far away from the park area Mom had took me to one day when I was three. He'd been admiring the sunshine in the shade and I must have gotten too close because he snarled, his lip curling up to reveal teeth as white and sharp as a shark's and the sound rumbled from within him.

I wet myself on the spot, and I almost did the same then when I heard the snarl from the cottage. Luckily my bladder held out but my nerves didn't and I turned and ran to my truck, starting the engine before I'd gotten the door full closed.

I did see a glimpse of him though. He was watching me through the window. I didn't know what I expected him to look like but it certainly wasn't the face I was seeing now. I stalled for a moment, just looking at his hair which was caught between red and brown, at the attractiveness of his face.

"All Vamps are attractive," I whispered to myself, "Pull yourself together, Bella, before he decides you're more interesting than the god-damn DVDs."

When I saw him again he looked slightly amused but I didn't waste time wondering why. I threw the truck into drive and sped out of there, my heart beating like crazy and my palms slipping on the steering wheel.

That was more of a glimpse than I had wanted. I knew that face would haunt me for week now.

(*)

Charlie announced he was going to La Push at the weekend to visit his old friend, Billy. He asked if I wanted to come along.

"You and his boy used to play together you know," he said casually, obviously hinting he would like me to come down with him. "But it's up to you," he added quickly.

"Yeah, I'll come," I said, pleased when Charlie beamed at my words. "What's the boy's name again?" I honestly didn't remember anything about playing with any of the kids up here when I was little.

"Jacob," Charlie answered. "He's a few years younger than you," he said this as though he was apologizing though I couldn't imagine why. Back in Phoenix we usually stuck to our families when it came to having friends so age gaps were not a big deal.

This town was too cozy for me.

On Saturday, Charlie and I took my truck down to La Push. He seemed to want to show it off to Billy and Jacob despite the fact they'd seen it before – it had been their truck after all.

"Charlie!" shouted a man in greeting from the small red house. He rolled down the ramp outside the door in his wheelchair, smiling warmly at his old friend. "It's good to see you again!" he said. "And this must be Bella." He looked at me as though he was still looking at Charlie. There was no disgust in his heavy face over my mauled appearance. I smiled shyly at him and gave him a wave. I'd been all set to ignore him as I had been sure he would find me difficult to look at. But he was so welcoming that I was caught off-guard. I liked him immediately and I hoped his son would be just as accepting.

"Jacob!" Billy yelled. "Come out here!" He sounded like an old country farmer, his voice warm but heavy with authority.

"What is it?" a younger voice called, coming through the door of the house.

Jacob had long black hair tied into a ponytail and his young face lit up when he saw us. Or at least I _thought _it was us he was beaming at.

"Oh, wow!" he cried, breaking into a jog over the flat lawn. "The truck! She looks great – how she running?" He directed his question to me. Just like his father, it was like he could see past my scars. I gawped at him, unable to say anything.

"Jacob," Billy said in a warning tone.

"Oh, crap, right, sorry," Jacob babbled seeming embarrassed. "I'm Jacob Black. It's nice to meet you." He smiled awkwardly at me and I smiled back.

I felt I had Jacob's personality summed up already. Given his age he was still in the awkward stage of teenage-life yet I could see him developing into a friendly joker. I could imagine him being fun to be around.

"Bella Swan," I said, introducing myself in the same way so he wouldn't feel uncomfortable. He looked relieved.

"Well, Charlie and I are gonna go and catch the game," Billy said, wheeling himself backwards, ready to turn around and head back to the door. I noticed the pair of them had stood in silence, watching our exchange. "Jake, why don't you take Bella to First Beach? It's a lovely day."

"Okay," Jacob agreed, shrugging.

It was not a lovely day at all. By the time we had gotten to First Beach, the wind had intensified so much that I had had to re-do my ponytail as a bun on the top of my head just to keep it out of my face. Jacob found this amusing and, surprisingly, his laughter didn't offend me at all.

We found a spot by a log on the beach, the wood helping to shield the wind away from us.

"So, you're a shifter, huh?" I asked casually, having to raise my voice over the wind and the tide.

Jacob looked a little embarrassed and he mumbled, "Not yet," before ducking his head.

"What do you mean 'not yet'?" I asked, confused. I didn't know much about the shape-shifters. They kept to themselves most of the time, and I hadn't bothered to get to know any of them before.

"When I'm sixteen," Jacob explained. "That's when I'll be able to shift."

"For definite?" I asked. Upon seeing his confused look, I explained, "Does it ever…I don't know…skip a generation or something?"

He looked panicked as he said, "My dad said I should shift."

"Was your mom a shifter too?"

"No," he said, seeming to get more and more panicked. "And my sisters didn't shift but Dad said I will because I'm a guy."

I burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he demanded.

"Your face!" I cried before calming down and explaining myself. "You look terrified that you'll stay human for the rest of your life; what's wrong with that?"

Jacob had enough sense to realize I would be staying human for the rest of my life so he didn't say anything offensive but merely mumbled, "I've been looking forward to this for ages."

"Does your dad still shift?" I asked, changing the topic away from his potential shift-failure.

"Nah, we tend to stop once we hit our fifties. Shifting takes a lot of work you know," Jacob said in all seriousness. "I think shifting at my dad's age would just kill him off." He grinned and I laughed. It was nice to talk to somebody who wasn't interested in my attack like Tyler, and who didn't go on and on about the Vamps like Angela.

"So what about you anyway?" Jacob asked. "You gonna get a Vampire Qualification Award?" He said it with a snooty accent which only made me laugh more.

"My grades aren't good enough," I informed him, shrugging to show I didn't care. "And even if they were, I wouldn't apply."

"You're not a fan of the Vampires?" he asked.

"As far as I'm concerned all Vamps can go to Hell," I told him, grinning.

"They will…eventually," he said though he didn't sound sure of it.

"Of course they will," I said. "They'll get bored of living…eventually."

Jacob was quiet for a few minutes before he said nervously, "You know, there's another way you can become a…Vamp."

I glared at him. "I don't want to hear it," I said. "It's disgusting."

"You mean Mating?" he asked, and then giggled showing the immature schoolboy that he really was.

Mating didn't refer to the usual kind found amongst the animal kingdom. Mating meant a Vampire finding their soul mate in a human and appealing to the Volturi to have the changed without a VQA. I'd never been one to believe that a Vamp could be in love with a human though. We were nothing but food sources to them, fridges if you like. We were so far below them that they controlled everything about us: our jobs, our education, our housing etc.

And Charlie wondered why I hated them so.

Still, as I thought through all this, I couldn't help but think of little Alice back at the school. She seemed so nice to me. She even treated me like an equal. I found myself hating her for making me doubt my views.

I spent the rest of the day with Jacob as he showed me around the small area that was La Push and we checked out the tidal pools. I slipped a lot on the rocks but Jacob caught me every time.

"Super strength," he told me, winking. "Another sign I'll shift."

I rolled my eyes. Jacob was obsessed with shifting. I didn't see the big deal. What was wrong with staying human?

Charlie and I stayed for dinner and it was nightfall by the time we got back to my truck. Charlie had had a few beers and was feeling both sleepy and merry.

"How was the game?" I asked him, keeping my eyes on the dark road ahead of me. I hated driving down forest-lined roads. I was almost certain there were things hiding between the trees, watching me. Even more so tonight.

"You wouldn't understand," Charlie partially slurred. "How was Jacob?"

I shot a glance at him, "Jacob was fine," I said carefully. "And if you meant 'how was my day' then that was fine too."

"Yeah," Charlie grunted before his head lolled to the side and I heard a snore.

I chuckled slightly to myself, feeling lighter than I had done in ages. My day out with Jacob and really cheered me up and I decided a trip down to La Push every weekend or so wouldn't be too bad. We could make it a weekly thing; Charlie and Billy, me and Jacob.

I was still thinking about this when my headlights caught something between the trees. Instinctively I slammed down on my brakes and the truck lurched a bit, not used to such a sudden action. Apparently it wasn't enough to wake Charlie though as a sudden snore told me just seconds later.

I didn't really know what I was doing when I climbed out of the truck and walked towards the woods. I left my headlights on so I could see a bit but whatever they had caught seemed to have disappeared now.

I could have sworn it looked like…

"Bella!" Charlie called from the truck. At first I thought he was in trouble but his sleepy tone told me otherwise. "Have we broken down?" he asked.

"No, I thought I saw something," I mumbled, getting back in the truck and starting the engine. It roared in protest, still mad at me for braking so quickly or maybe it was on my side and was trying to scare whatever had been between those trees.

"It's probably an elk," Charlie told me. "There are loads of them round here. Billy and I used to go hunting them until we discovered fishing."

"Hunting?" I asked, picking up on the word. I didn't like it; it was a word I associated with animals and, as far as I was concerned, Vamps were animals.

"Yeah," he said, almost asleep again. "One time we caught this big one and Billy had its antlers framed on the wall. Sarah made him take it down though; she thought it looked disgusting. Bless her."

I knew Sarah had been Billy's wife though I wasn't sure how she had died. I decided not to ask as I didn't know whether I should know or not and Charlie was in no state to tell me. I tried to keep my eyes off the woods and on the road for the rest of the drive home. Thankfully, I saw nothing else that was out of the ordinary.

After helping Charlie out the truck and up the stairs to his bed, I went to my room to get ready for a shower which was just the thing I needed after a long day on the windswept beach. Jacob had acted as though the weather was nothing to him but I was sure I would wake up in the morning with a crook in my neck.

I picked up my copy of _Wuthering Heights _off the floor and placed it back on my bookshelf before freezing. How had it fallen off? I checked my window to make sure it was locked as it had been before we left for La Push. There was no way a freak wind could knocked it off, and it had been securely in place on my shelf when I had left.

I shook my head, telling myself ghosts didn't exist and I was probably wrong; I'd most likely knocked it off by mistake when I'd been getting ready to go.

After my shower I dried my hair and went straight to bed. It was then, in the cold darkness of my room that I remembered what I had seen on the drive home. I was certain the brief sparkle my headlights had caught had been Vamp skin which was no surprise given that Forks was quite the Vampiric town what with the special hotel and everything. But that still left me with one question.

What was a Vamp doing streaking in the woods?


	4. Hermit in the Woods

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**4. Hermit in the Woods**

"Bella," Angela whispered to me as we sat down at lunch the following Thursday. She sounded discreet as though we were discussing secret information, "I've heard Alice has been keeping you behind on Thursdays," she said. "What's that all about?"

I looked at her, surprised and suddenly annoyed that people had been talking about me behind my back. "What's that got to do with anyone?" I asked. "Alice is just…helping me with Art that's all." I didn't know what made me feel the need to defend my Vamp teacher but I was so annoyed at the fact that everybody had been gossiping over me for the past fortnight that I decided I wasn't going to give them anything to gossip with.

Angela looked vaguely disappointed for some reason but she brightened up a little and leaned forward even further as if we were really going to discuss secret information. "Bella," she began again seriously. "I've been thinking about your hatred for the Vamps and I was wondering if you'd like to join our association."

I cocked an eyebrow in surprise and disbelief. "Association?" I questioned, a little too loudly because Angela shushed me.

"We have a secret organization," Angela explained. "We meet up every Sunday at the church and I was wondering if you would like to join."

I blanched. "What does this association do?"

"Hate Vamps," was all Angela said. "Are you in or not?"

I didn't know what to say so I told her exactly that.

"Look, just come to the first meeting," she said, scribbling a time and address on a piece of paper she retrieved from her school bag. "It's this Sunday. If you don't like it then fine but I think you will."

I took the paper from her and pocketed it. We talked about it no more for the rest of lunch.

As usual, I stayed behind after the last bell rang only to find Alice was in a bit of a mood with me. I chose not to ask questions because I told myself I didn't care whether a Vamp liked me or not but her silence was intimidating.

"Just the usual," she said, handing over the basket.

I stood there for a few minutes, stunned at her bluntness. She wasn't even smiling and, from what I'd seen in class and heard about in the corridors, Alice always smiled.

"Do I need any warnings today?" I asked flippantly. If she was going to be moody with me then I gave as good as I got.

"The two of you will actually have a conversation today," she said, throwing paintbrushes in the sink with a lot more force than necessary. It was a wonder she didn't crack the sink and end up flooding the whole school.

I stood there in shock, absorbing what she was telling me. I was going to talk with…Edward Masen? The Hermit Vamp in the woods? I didn't know how I felt about that. Well, this is what I got for being curious.

Before I left the room, and left Alice to whatever had gotten her in such a foul mood in the first place, I heard her say, "Hopefully he'll convince you to stay away from the Association of Angels."

(*)

Alice's words played in my mind as I parked up in front of the cottage. I wasn't stupid enough not to realize that the group Angela had told me about was indeed the Association of Angels. I should have known Alice would know about it despite Angela saying it was a secret. I wondered if Angela knew about Alice's ability to see the future but then I decided she probably didn't. Alice had made it seem like I was the only student she had confided in and I wondered if that was why she had been so angry earlier. She had been worried I would tell her Gift to the other members of the group.

I hadn't even been to this group! I'd decided I would check it out this weekend for Angela's sake but I preferred to keep my hating of Vamps private thank you very much.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even think this time as I made my way to the front porch and knocked on the door. Nobody answered, the curtains didn't even twitch and after five minutes I decided to just walk in anyway. Alice said we would have a conversation right? We couldn't do that if Edward-no-mates didn't answer the door.

The door opened into the living room which was dark and dusty to say the least, streams of light came in from the window but the grey sky of Forks meant they made little difference. I could see sofas and a large TV which surprised me given that Edward was supposed to be a hermit. I could vaguely see a kitchen and dining table to my right which I made my way into, placing the basket down on said table.

It was clear that Edward wasn't a fan of cleaning but somebody must come along and clean the place up every once and a while otherwise a layer of dust would have protruded from where the basket had been placed. But it seemed even a clean couldn't light this place up. For a few brief seconds, I forgot Edward Masen was a Vamp and I felt sorry for him. What had he done that had needed him to go into hiding?

I found him in the corner of the kitchen, curled up in a corner beside the fridge. He wore nothing but ragged jeans that had been ripped at his knees. What had happened to the clothes Alice sent every week?

"Mr. Masen?" I asked, raising my voice to let him know I was addressing him. He stayed where he was, resting his head and hiding his face in his arms which were wrapped around his knees. He was so still; so unnaturally still as though I was looking at a photograph of a boy crying in a kitchen instead of actually being here myself. "Mr. Masen, I've brought your basket."

He didn't move so I walked over to him. He couldn't kill me because Alice had seen us having a conversation and he had yet to utter a word. "Mr. Masen, my name is Isabella Swan but everybody calls me Bella."

I stopped a few feet from him when I saw him lift his head up. He stared at me curiously and, from the little light of the kitchen window, I could see his eyes. Startled, I took a step back into a dining chair which scraped noisily against the tiles.

His eyes were yellow; yellow like the very beast that tried to rip me apart. I could feel my heart beating wildly and my palms sweating, slowly I sank to the ground mirroring Mr. Masen's position on the floor. I tried to breathe calmly, wishing I had the strength to run for the door but I didn't think my legs could take it.

"Isabella Swan?" His voice was cool and calm if just a bit curious. I was surprised to find I had been expecting him to sound like an old man given the fact that most Vamps are a lot older than they look. But he sounded so young, too young in fact.

Lifting my head up I noticed him to be about my age. Well, he _looked _my age. For all I knew he could be older than my truck and Charlie put together.

He was a lot closer to me now, I realized with surprise. I hadn't even heard him move. He was crouched over me looking…concerned? No, why would a Vamp be concerned over a petty little human such as myself? I tried to scoot further away from him but the chair and the table got in the way.

"Don't move away," he said looking pained. "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head.

He thought for a moment. "Did I scare you?"

I nodded.

"Would you like me to move away?"

I nodded again, hoping he would leave and I could slip away quietly. We'd had a conversation, sort of, now I just wanted to get out of there.

Unfortunately he only retreated back to his corner where he sat, watching me intently.

"Your eyes," I finally choked out after a few minutes of silence. Since he didn't look as though he would be moving anytime soon I decided I needed to know about them. Up close they had looked more gold than yellow but they were still different from the Vamp's traditional red. Their eyes were one of the main ways we distinguished between them and us.

"What about them?" he asked, narrowing said eyes in a suspicious way. It seemed the almost gentlemanly fashion he had used earlier when asking if I was alright had evaporated.

"They're…not red," I said, undecided on whether to use gold or yellow.

"No, they are not," he said. "Is that a problem?"

"But why are they like that?" I asked, so surprised I didn't even care if I was being rude. Then some sort of spark of hope came to me and I said, "Are you ill?" My mind was working at top speed as I realized this might be why he hid away. He might be contagious to other Vamps. Maybe this disease could wipe their awful race from this planet.

But he shook his head. "They turn this color when we drink animal blood," he explained after a moment's hesitation. I raised my eyebrows. I'd never heard of Vamp drinking animal blood; I didn't even know it could work.

"Why do you not get it from the Blood Bank?" I asked, referring to the place in town where I gave my monthly Blood Tax. It was where they drained us and where the Vamps collected it.

Mr. Masen's eyes darkened, his heavy brows pulled together in anger. "Because I'm not part of the community," he almost spat. "I don't get blood because I don't work in the community."

"Oh," I said, surprised. "So you don't get it because you don't work?" He nodded. "Is that what they pay you in?" I asked. "Blood?"

"Money holds no value to someone who doesn't eat or need shelter," he explained.

He blurred and was suddenly in front of me, stroking my neck with his fingers. "But I could always take it without asking," he whispered, keeping his eyes on my neck where I was sure my pulse sped up with fear.

"That's against the law," I choked out.

"So?" he asked. "Laws don't apply to me anymore."

"Because you're not part of the community," I said, desperately trying to keep him talking. "Why?" I asked. "Why are you a hermit living in the woods?"

That got him. He looked up at me, what seemed like sadness and annoyance dancing along his features. "That's got nothing to do with you," he said coolly, stepping up and away from me. "How did you get those scars?"

"That's got nothing to do with you," I retorted tartly.

He blinked, almost looking like he was shocked before he recovered and said coldly, "You've done your duty. Now leave."

I blinked at him. "Just leave?" I questioned. "You're going to let me go?"

He growled and I leapt to my feet, running as fast as my feet could carry me back to my truck. But instead of driving off in a hurry, I sat there and watched the cottage for a bit. It seemed like a quiet and peaceful place. Maybe that was why Edward chose to live here in the middle of nowhere. If I could do it then I would.

(*)

The next day I received a letter from the Forks' Blood Bank, telling me I was due for a donation. I wrinkled my nose, surprised they'd still want blood from me after the countless transfusions I'd been given after my attack. Still, who was eye to question the bloodsuckers' taste? Maybe a certain group of them liked a cocktail?

I'd never been fond of blood. It made me feel a bit sick looking at it whenever I cut my finger whilst cooking or reading, and I'd always hated giving blood partly because I knew only a portion of it would go to a hospital to treat humans. Most of it went into a lovely big fridge for the Vamps to pick up whenever they fancied a drink.

People like Lauren and Jess would probably take vitamins to make sure their blood flavor was extra strong in the hope that this would help them to achieve a VQA or at least gain a Vamp's attention. I was not one of those people though when Charlie suggested I take a few supplements on the day just to keep me strong, I didn't object.

Edward's drinking of animal blood was what distracted me from the Qualified-yet-still-human nurse draining me. I wondered if the Vamps had ever thought of using animal blood instead of human or if they had, why weren't they drinking them instead of us? We ate animals. They could drink the blood and we eat the meat. Nothing would be wasted. It sounded like a lot fairer a solution than what they had now. Maybe that's why they didn't do it – because it was a fairer solution and they would lose their control over us.

Once I'd forced my cookie and juice down, I sped to the foyer of the building hoping to get away quickly but before I could reach the door I heard somebody call me.

"Excuse me, are you Bella?" a woman's velvet voice asked. I turned to find a Vamp who had turned in her mid-twenties looking at me with curiosity.

"Erm, yes?" It came out as a question, partly because I was surprised she was talking to me and partly because I wasn't sure if I was the Bella she was looking for.

"I'm Esme Cullen," she introduced herself, holding out her hand. "Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

It took me a moment to respond, I was so surprised. "Sure," I eventually managed to get out. As Esme took me into a large Office up the stairs behind the reception desk in the foyer, I remembered Charlie telling me about her being Dr. Cullen's wife.

"This is my husband's office," she explained, watching me take in the room. "He sometimes volunteers at the Blood Bank."

"Wow," I said. "That's quite…erm…remarkable." I was trying to be polite and mature. Everything about Esme screamed elegance and, despite her being a Vamp, I wanted to please her. Like Alice, there was something so gentle and harmless about her.

Esme smiled as though she understood where I was coming from. "I just wanted to thank you," she said, "For delivering those baskets to Edward."

"Oh," I said, surprised. "It was nothing really. I mean, it's not like I put them together or anything…"

"It's not just nothing, though," she said. She paused for a moment as if reflecting on how to tell me something. That was unusual. Normally Vamps thought so fast they didn't need to pause and reflect. "Edward doesn't see new people often," Esme said carefully. "It means a lot to him you know."

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Sorry if I sound rude, Mrs. Cullen-" I began but she interrupted me.

"Just Esme, dear," she said.

"Esme," I corrected myself, lacing and unlacing my fingers together as I fought with the discomfort of being friendly with a Vamp, "Mr. Masen didn't seem best pleased when I visited him this week."

"Like I said," Esme said gently as though she had been expecting this from me, "He isn't used to being around new people. He's forgotten how to act. You do intrigue him you know."

"Intrigue?" I repeated. "In what way?"

She thinned her lips before saying, "He's surprised a human would visit a house of a Vampire. Your nerve impresses him." She stops before adding. "He thinks you're pretty."

I didn't know what to say to that. I couldn't imagine anybody finding me pretty now let alone a Vamp who had been so blatantly rude to me during our first proper conversation. But the way Esme said it surprised me too. It was like she was his mother talking to the first girlfriend of her teenage son. Her normal, _human _teenage son.

Slowly I backed away from her, remembering what Angela had said about these Vamps being freaky. They certainly were. They weren't supposed to act like a family; that's what separated us. They lived on their own or, at the most, with their Mate. They didn't have the family values of a human. That was the last thing I needed. Vamps acting human.

"I didn't mean to startle you, dear," Esme said, her red eyes seemed to shine out of her head like neon lights telling me over and over again I was having a civil conversation with a Vamp. "Bella?"

I didn't say anything as I ran out the room and down the steps into the Blood Bank's foyer. I wished I had looked where I was going though after I'd ran into Jessica Stanley.

"Watch it!" Jessica cried, shoving me off her. I was surprised to find she was on her own.

"Where's Lauren?" I asked stupidly.

Jessica blinked in surprise. "Erm, she's getting her hair done." Her anger seemed to have left her and she picked at her perfect nails nervously. Clearly something was wrong.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Fine," she replied too quickly, now worrying the bottom left of her lip.

"You're here for your Blood Tax?" I guessed.

She nodded. "It's the first time I've come one my own. My mom couldn't make it…" she trailed off, her cheeks turning red as she realized she had admitted to her mom accompanying her to the Blood Bank.

I don't know whether it was an act of kindness or if I needed a distraction from my conversation with Esme or if I just didn't want to go home yet but I blurted out, "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Yeah," Jessica said too quickly and nodded too fast. She looked so relieved. "Blood creeps me out," she admitted as we sat down in the waiting room.

"Me too," I told her though I couldn't help but be surprised at her admission. I'd never met a Vamp Groupie who was afraid of blood before.


	5. The Angels

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**5. The Angels**

The church of Forks looked intimidating as it loomed over me in the afternoon sun. A dark shadow was cast over me due to its position and the large windows stared down at me like welcoming eyes.

I never went to church back home. Renee had said church was no good; that God chose not to listen to us when he placed the Vamps and the werewolves onto the world. For some reason, because the Vamps needed the blood of humans to survive and therefore it was their natural instinct to kill – a deadly sin, people had always assumed Religion was the enemy of the Vamps. That was probably why this meeting was in a church, and why the pastor was leading it.

Of course nobody knew where Religion came from. Even the Vamps who had lived thousands of years are still unsure when and where it started. And then there's the never-ending quarrel over whether Jesus was a Vamp Himself or not.

I realized I'd been standing outside the church for too long and I needed to go in before the Association of Angels started without me.

In the church foyer a rounded woman in her fifties with short faded blonde hair met me and led me down a hallway and into a side room where a small group sat in a circle. Everything about the church smelled old and musty but I tried to keep my face straight as I sat down in the chair next to Angela as she was indicating.

"Everybody," she announced, standing up. "This is Bella Swan. She moved here a couple of weeks ago after a werewolf attack." Everybody made the sign of the cross when she said the 'W' word, even Angela. I did too but was a little behind. "I think she would make a great addition to our Association."

I gave a shy wave as everybody looked at me.

"Bella," a man dressed in black with the traditional white pastor collar said, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You too, Mr. Weber," I said awkwardly.

"Pastor Weber," he corrected gently and smiling kindly so as not to insult me.

"Sorry," I said, blushing, "I've never been to a church before." The people around the room - which was mainly men – gasped.

"Why not?" Pastor Weber asked, keeping his tone the same as before.

I thought about telling them Renee's views on church but decided against it. For some reason I didn't think it would go down well with these people. Instead I said, "Our main church was destroyed during a full moon." This was true but it wasn't the reason I didn't go. The people still met up in its ruins until they raised enough money to rebuild it. In Phoenix there was no worry over the few remaining hymn books been sodden when it rained during the service.

The group gasped again, their hands on their hearts.

"Just another sign they beings of the devil," a heavy man with tanned leather skin muttered. My eyes widened when I recognized him from photos at my dad's.

"Harry Clearwater?" I asked, shocked.

He looked slightly guilty but nodded his head anyway.

"You know each other?" Pastor Weber seemed pleased.

"He's a shape-shifter!" I blurted out. Or at least he had been. Like Billy, he was probably too old now.

"Shape-shifters are welcome here too," the pastor said carefully. "They are as much children of God as we are."

"But they're not human," I pointed out, aware of Angela pleading for me to stop with her eyes. I ignored her, wanting to get straight what sort of group this was.

"Not every child of God is human," he said, folding his hands together as though he was praying.

"Then how do you know the Vamps and the beasties are not His children too?" I demanded.

They were too shocked to gasp at that and Angela gave me an obvious kick in the ankle but it seemed to have come too late. I'd only been here five minutes and already I was starting something.

"Beasts who kill are not children of God," an old man opposite me growled. He looked too old and frail to sound so deep and menacing. I'd clearly hit a nerve.

"Humans kill," I couldn't help myself. I was going to finish what I had started whether they liked it or not. "It's very rare but they still kill. Does God forgive them?"

"Of course," Pastor Weber said without thinking.

"Then why doesn't He forgive the Vamps and the werewolves?"

I was only sticking up for the werewolves because the group annoyed me with their stupid chest-crossing every time the name was mentioned. Didn't they know that wouldn't keep them away let alone kill them? But my defending of the Vamps came from Esme and Alice. They seemed so gentle and, in a way, for Edward Masen because he could have killed me when he got the chance yet he didn't.

And, though I found it hard to believe, he had said I was pretty. It was all I had been thinking about since my conversation with Esme the previous day. Partly because it distracted me from the way she had been but mainly because I'd never received such a compliment. The only way it could get better was if Edward Masen said it himself.

"Bella," Pastor Weber said in all seriousness. "If you don't mind, I think you of all people shouldn't be feeling sorry for the Vamps and the werewolves." Double chest-crossing.

"What exactly is this group for?" I asked after a moment of silence. "Do you really think you have a chance of killing these…things? How do you think they have control over us? They're invincible."

"Not entirely," a woman on the other side of Pastor Weber said. I recognized her light brown hair immediately; Angela's mother. "We all know silver and plants like mistletoe and wolfsbane can take down a werewolf." I nodded. I was from Phoenix; we learned that stuff in kindergarten. "And we all know a werewolf can take down a Vamp."

I froze. "Really?" I asked surprised.

"You didn't know?" Harry was just as equally surprised. It seemed he'd found his voice again. "Bella, why do you think so little Vamps live in hot climates where the werewolves are?"

"Because they prefer cold and wet climates," I said stupidly.

"They don't feel the temperature like we do," Mrs. Weber pointed out gently. "Bella, just enough Vamps stay in werewolf-populated areas to work for the Local Werewolf Control so they don't extinguish their race." _And ours, _I added silently.

Though the L.W.C had landed my mother and her husband in jail, they had still saved me from being ripped apart or becoming a werewolf.

"Is that why they put them over us?" I asked, trying to make sense of it all, "Because they fear the werewolves?"

"Or maybe it's just because they're so much alike," the frail man volunteered.

"How do you know this?" I asked.

"We put a lot of it together ourselves," Mrs. Weber explained. "But we know for a fact the werewolf is the weapon to kill a Vamp because of the writings of Saint John Bomsby. He witnessed a fight between the two beasts and the werewolf won."

"It would only work if it was one on one though," I said slowly, remembering a werewolf had been no match for the five Vamp members of the L.W.C.

"Bella," Pastor Weber interrupted. "We need to know if you are serious about becoming an Angel. We can't share anymore information with you until you are admitted."

I shouldn't have been surprised but I was. They had volunteered their information so freely that I'd never thought of actually joining the Association and becoming a…an Angel. That could only mean one thing; there was so much more they had to share. And I wanted to know every bit of it.

"I'll do it," I said confidently. Angela squeezed my hand next to me and beamed whilst everybody clapped. Everybody except the old frail man. He seemed to be watching me warily but I tried not to take it to heart.

"Excellent!" the Pastor beamed. "Shall we do the service today?"

"Service?" I questioned, worried already.

"Don't panic," Angela whispered to me. "It's a five minute thing. You'll be anointed with Holy Water and Dad will say a prayer. Then you're one of us."

It all sounded so easy yet the Pastor demanded time to prepare and left the small room and sat in the benches of the church waiting for him. I took in the group as we waited. I sat on the right side while they sat on the left. Angela was whispering with her mother; Harry was in deep discussion with the frail man; a college-aged boy with glasses and another one the same age with slicked black hair were knelt praying. The only other one was a tall man with cropped brown hair. He sat the closest to me, staring.

Pastor Weber made his way into the room just as I was about to ask the lone man if I had something on my face. It took me a second to realize he had probably been staring at my scars. I'd grown so used to them over the past month or so that I didn't usually think about them until I saw them in a mirror.

"Bella," the Pastor said, bright and cheery. "I'm terribly sorry but where are my manners? I haven't even introduced the group to you yet. Now you know Harry and Angela," he said waving his hand to each in turn. The church fell silent. "And these are Ben and Eric." Ben wore the glasses while Eric had the black hair. Angela kept glancing over to them and them to her though they hadn't given me any attention at all. "And these two are Bernard and James."

Bernard was the frail man. James had been the one who was staring. He sent an apologetic smile my way. I smiled awkwardly back.

"Bella, if you will," Pastor Weber said, gesturing to the altar.

Taking a deep breath and wondering what I was getting myself into, I stood and walked slowly to where Pastor Weber was indicating. My back was to the group and I felt so exposed. Pastor Weber stood in front of me, holding a bowl of water he had acquired from somewhere. It didn't look holy to me at all but I didn't argue as he made the sign of the cross on my forehead, murmuring words in a language I did not recognize.

Even though I knew the Religion vs. Vampire thing to be nonsense, I still wondered whether Alice would be able to tell I had been anointed. Then I remembered her visions. Damn. I hoped she wouldn't be too disappointed in me.

"By joining this group you are sworn to secrecy," Pastor Weber said, his voice so serious it was hard to believe he had been cheery a moment ago. "Bella, do you swear to not confide the secrets of the Angels to anybody?"

"I swear," I said, feeling absolutely ridiculous.

"Then go forth into the light," he told me.

I didn't see any light to go forth into but he was pushing me off the altar so I just went and sat back in my seat.

"Meeting adjourned," he said, all business-like. Everybody got up then and left. Angela told me I had done great before hurrying to join her mom and dad.

James caught up with me when I reached my truck.

"Welcome to the Angels, Bella," he greeted me, grinning.

"Thanks," I said, wanting desperately to get home but not wanting to seem rude.

"You look like an angel you know," he said, reaching out to gently stroke a strand of my hair that had fallen from my ponytail and hung by the side of my face. Before I could respond to that he murmured, "Bella. Such a beautiful name."

"Thank you," I said again.

"See you next week," he said, departing for his own car. I stared after him before catching my reflection in my side mirror.

I looked like an Angel? Yeah, right.

(*)

It was dark by the time I got to the Thriftway. When I got home from the meeting, I'd spent a lot of time just lying on my bed and thinking what I had done. I certainly didn't feel different after being anointed but I wondered what my anointment meant and if they expected me to do anything whilst I was in their little group.

The Association of Angels.

I shivered as I pulled into a parking space. The lot was practically empty at this time and the shop was almost ready for closing up but I'd been planning to pick some stuff up this week anyway seeing as Charlie never got the time to. It was Monday tomorrow so I needed to go now.

Picking up the groceries was easy. It was getting back to my truck that was the hard part.

"Hey, Bella!" I'd recognize Tyler's voice anywhere after the week he'd given me. It wasn't that he targeted me specifically, he just made sure I knew he was there whenever we had the same class or I passed him in the corridor at school.

Sighing, I turned and gave him a tired half-smile. "Hello, Tyler," I said, hoping he'd leave me alone as long as I was polite and gave him nothing to throw back at me.

He wasn't alone though. Another boy our age with tanned skin and light blonde hair accompanied him.

"This is Mike," Tyler introduced him, "Mike, this is Bella. Mike's just moved from California. He's starting school tomorrow."

"California?" I repeated, impressed. "I've never been there before. What's it like?"

"Werewolf-y," Mike answered, grinning. Tyler laughed as though the two of them were sharing some private joke. My heart sank. Great.

"Well, it was nice to meet you," I said, turning and walking away. But they caught up to me easily, grabbing my shopping out of my hands and throwing the bags on the floor. Milk and juice bottles rolled out onto the pavement.

"Come on, Bella," Tyler whined. "You've been avoiding me all week. What's up, beastie?"

I breathed in harshly through my nose, trying to dispel the tears of anger that were threatening to overspill. "Leave it, Tyler," I told him. "I'm not a…a 'beastie'. They got the parasite out."

"Hmm," Tyler said skeptically. "That's what they all say."

"Where's your Killer Scar, Bella?" Mike asked, automatically making my heart beat faster in fear.

"Killer Scar?" Tyler asked, clearly confused. He'd obviously never heard of it before given he'd grown up in Forks.

"The scar where the parasite entered," Mike explained. "The one that made her a werewolf."

"I'm not a werewolf!" I screamed at him.

"Where is it?" Tyler pressed, stepping closer to me. He was so much taller than me and well-built due to the fact he played for the school's small football team.

Instinctively I held my hands to my chest as though he could see the scar through my clothing. His eyes widened and I realized I had stupidly given myself away.

"Mike, help me," he ordered gruffly, reaching for the top buttons of my shirt.

"Get off me!" I yelled, searching the parking lot frantically but fruitlessly. There was nobody but us in this vast, dark and empty space. Even the Thriftway had closed up shop and there was nothing but the empty road to the right of us and the silent woods behind and in front of us.

Or at least they had been silent.

A snarl ripped out from behind me. I couldn't turn due to Tyler's iron grip but both boys seemed to see something as they let go of me and backed slowly away.

"Is that…?" Mike began.

"Yeah," Tyler muttered. "Welcome to Forks, man. Home of the Vampires."

Frantically I turned and saw Edward Masen making his way over to us, his lip pulled back into an animalistic snarl which I tried not to look at.

"Must be a passer-by," Tyler muttered to Mike. "Don't recognize him. Come on, let's go." I heard their footsteps running behind me but I stayed where I was, my eyes fixed on Edward. He looked almost presentable this time in jeans and a white button-down. Only one knee of the jeans was ripped and a few buttons were missing from his shirt.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked me upon reaching me. I only looked up at him.

"Mr. Masen," I said when I had found my voice. "I hadn't expected to see you until next Thursday."

"Alice told me you might run into trouble."

"Well Alice should mind her own business," I snapped. "I don't need you to be my knight in shining armor, thank you very much." And with that I turned my back to him, bending down to pick up my groceries. Luckily nothing had broken or been spilled.

"Please, just call me Edward," Edward said, bending down to help me pick everything up. He did it at his own speed though which meant by the time I'd gotten down to the ground he was already stood up, my grocery bags in hand.

"Thank you, _Edward,_" I said, stressing his name to show I was still annoyed. I snatched my bags from him.

"You're welcome," he said as though my tone didn't bother him.

"Well, I'll see you next Thursday," I told him curtly before heading towards my truck.

He was in front of me in a flash, blocking my path. I almost dropped my bags again when I took a step back in surprise. "Sorry," he said, seeing my face. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Just go, Edward," I told him, closing my eyes so I didn't have to look at his weird eyes or too young face anymore.

"Do you have to visit next Thursday?" he asked.

I opened my eyes then and I was sure he saw them flash with anger. "Why?" I hissed. "Am I getting too boring for you?"

"No!" he said, shocked like he couldn't imagine I would even consider such a thing. "I meant can you not visit sooner?"

"Why?" I asked, this time it was a genuine question.

"Because…" he hesitated, shifting uncomfortable which was very unusual for a Vamp. "Because I like having you around."

"You hardly know me," I pointed out, wondering what on earth he was talking about. This was a far cry from the angry man I'd met earlier in the week.

"I know but I want to get to know you," he said, almost shyly. If he was human I would have thought it was cute. "Your mind, it's so…silent."

I frowned and then glared as I realized what he was saying.

"You're Gifted," I accused.

He nodded.

"You can read minds."

He nodded again. "Every mind except yours."

"Edward, we need to talk," I sighed, realizing he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. "Let's go round to yours now, okay?"

He looked delighted when I mentioned we have a talk and he beamed when I mentioned going back to his.

"Can I drive?" he asked after I'd refused his offer to carry my bags for me.

"No," I told him firmly.

I'd heard about Vamps and their driving. I didn't think my truck – or my stomach – could take it.


	6. Confessions

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**6. Confessions**

Edward's cottage was freezing and I couldn't help but shiver the moment I stepped over the threshold. After putting my grocery bags on the table, I asked Edward if he had a phone.

"I do," he said, seeming pleased with himself. "It's by the sofa in the living room." I looked at the dark room and had to stop myself from sighing out loud.

"Edward," I said.

"Hm?" he asked eagerly. He was already in the living room somewhere. I just couldn't see him.

"I can't see anything."

"Oh yeah!" he cried as if remembering something. "Hang on a moment." Lights flickered overhead, lighting the cozy room up. The bulbs were too bright; they'd clearly never been used. "I forgot humans need light."

"Why do you have lights if you don't need them?" I asked, making my way to the phone. Edward was sat cross-legged on a sofa, watching my every move. I wondered if he'd been watching me in the dark, and I shivered.

"Esme likes to be very detailed," Edward explained. "She's an architect."

Esme Cullen, the same woman who had talked about Edward as though he was her child. Sighing, I reached for the phone and called Charlie's number. It went straight to voice mail so I informed him I was staying at Angela's for a bit and would be bringing groceries home.

"Why didn't you tell him you were with me?" Edward asked, looking slightly hurt.

"Because he doesn't need to know I am alone with a Vamp," I told him. "It would only worry him." It would worry Charlie more the fact I was with a stranger but I added the Vamp bit in to show Edward I was still annoyed with him over Thursday.

"Vamp?" Edward repeated, looking hurt. "Why don't you like us?"

"Because you control us," I explained a little bitterly.

"I don't control you," he pointed out. "I just mind my own business."

His words surprised me, but I buried them in the back of my mind deciding to analyze them later when I got home. If I got home.

"How come you were so angry at me on Thursday?" I asked him. "You seem fine being around me now."

"You asked about my past on Thursday," he said, his cold voice returning. "I don't like to talk about my past."

"Neither do I," I told him. "So don't ask about my scars."

"Fair enough," he muttered though I couldn't help but notice he looked disappointed.

"So, you can read minds," I began casually. "Is that why you hide out here?"

"That's asking about my past," he pointed out, smirking as though we were playing a game, "So that question is out of order."

We stared each other down but I was only human and his intimidating hunter's stare made me look away first. I wasn't going to get anything out of him until I opened up to him about myself. So, taking a deep breath I began, "I moved to Forks because my mom and her husband were sent to jail and I couldn't stay in Phoenix anymore."

Edward's eyes widened in surprise as though he hadn't expected me to crack so soon. He didn't say anything though but waited for me to continue.

"They were sent to jail because they shot at a werewolf," I explained, feeling both anger and sadness rage inside me.

"Did they kill it?" Edward asked. "Why were they shooting at it in the first place?"

"They didn't kill it," I answered, remarking on how he sounded like an eager child hearing a bedtime story. I wondered how often Edward got to talk to somebody; if being alone for so long affected their kind like it did humans. "But they injured it and that's a criminal offence as you would know," I added bitterly, remembering the Local Werewolf Control's leader telling me as though we were discussing the weather.

His gaze hardened at that like it did whenever I asked about his past. Clearly the law against killing werewolves reminded him of something.

"They were shooting at it because it was killing me," I said eventually after gearing myself up as though it was the grand finale or something.

"Your scars," he muttered, reaching out and stroking my worst one down my face.

"Don't," I said, flinching away from his touch. Not because it was ice cold though that did surprise me but because I couldn't stand anybody touching my grotesque scars.

"They got the parasite out in time," I said, "So I didn't become one of them but…" I trailed off as my tears threatened to pour down my cheeks and embarrass me.

"My eyes," he murmured, putting it all together. "That was why you were so afraid when you saw them. They almost look like…"

"Like a beastie's eyes," I nodded, sniffling. "I'm scented, you see," I explained. "I couldn't stay in Phoenix because they can sense victims of their kind. It lures them to me to finish the job."

"So you're hiding from them," he said slowly, "Like me."

"Sort of," I agreed. "So go on then, why are you hiding? I didn't think Vamps had anything to hide from."

His eyes hardened again but not completely like last time. It seemed he wanted to pay me back by opening up himself but he was struggling to do so. I gave him time, leaving him as frozen as a statue on the sofa as I retrieved a carton of ice cream from one of my grocery bags.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Ice cream," I told him, sitting back down and opening the lid. I was relieved to find I'd gotten the tub with a plastic spoon inside. I didn't think Edward would have any spoons lying around.

"What's it made of?"

"Milk, sugar, fat," I guessed. "You want to try some?"

I knew for a fact that Vamps found our food as repulsive as we found theirs but I couldn't resist teasing him a little bit. It was odd for me to feel this comfortable with a Vamp but I couldn't help but laugh at Edward's disgusted face.

"Didn't think so," I said, digging in. "So go on, it's your turn. What brings you to the fine woods of Forks?" I was trying to make him feel comfortable by joking but it seemed he was either immune to human humor or his past was too horrible to laugh about.

"I became a Vampire when I was seventeen," he began.

"Wow," I said, swirling the melted ice cream round with my spoon. "That's really young. How did you manage that? I thought you could only Qualify for a VQA at eighteen." And after you'd Qualified it was up to you what age you joined the Vamps.

"I didn't Qualify," he explained. "I Mated." I channeled Jake when I snorted at his choice of wording. I could use a good laugh after I'd just relived what had happened to me, and I didn't think he was being serious. Vamps Mated for life and clearly Edward was here on his own unless…

"Alice?" I choked, completely forgetting Alice was a Mrs. Whitlock and not a Masen.

"What? No!" he cried, looking so shocked it was almost comical. I didn't laugh though because if Edward _had _Mated and they weren't here then something must have gone horribly wrong. "Her name was Tanya," he continued, looking very uncomfortable.

I abandoned my ice cream and reached for his hand. I didn't know what it was but I felt like something was pulling me towards him and I didn't miss the spark that ignited when my warm skin touched his cold hand. I didn't want Edward to feel uncomfortable whether he was a Vamp or not.

And that scared me.

"She found me when I was living in Chicago back in 1918. I barely remember anything about my human life only that it was Christmas time and I saw her standing by the town tree. She was so beautiful." His eyes glazed over a bit as he remembered and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Of course she was beautiful; she was a Vamp and he was a seventeen-year-old boy for goodness sake!

"I remember being pleased when she walked over to talk to me."

"What did you talk about?" I asked, finding it hard to find a topic the two would have in common.

"She just introduced herself and asked who I was," he explained. "She was thousands of years old you know. And I told her about me and she asked me to meet her again at the same spot the next day."

"And you did?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "I still don't know why though. I barely knew her."

"She was beautiful," I reminded him, "And you were a seventeen-year-old boy."

Edward frowned at me like he couldn't understand where I was coming from before he continued, "She took me away that night. I didn't even say goodbye to my family but I was so caught up in her I didn't care. We didn't all know about Mating back then and I tried to tell her that my mother had forbidden me to Qualify for a VQA but she didn't listen. She told me as long as I was with her I didn't need to Qualify and I could have everything I wanted. Even her," he looked a little embarrassed as he added that last part and I tried not to think what she had meant by that.

"She took me to the Volturi and appealed for me to be turned because I was her Mate. They agreed but after I'd woken up…" He paused. "Well, I think we both realized we had made a huge mistake. We weren't each other's Mates after all. She had just been tired of being lonely and I had been a…an infatuated teenage boy." I smiled at that. It was clear Edward hadn't been a teenager for some time yet he still looked like one. He looked so young but talked so old.

"What happened to her?" I asked, knowing the worst was coming.

"To Tanya?" Edward asked. "I don't know. She went her way and I went mine years ago."

I blinked in surprise. "That's it?" I asked. "Then why are you hiding? You made a mistake. So what?"

"The Volturi do not give second chances," Edward explained. "If they knew about us then they would automatically assume we had lied to them and kill us both."

"But…that's not fair," I said, shocked. I hadn't been expecting that.

"Well, they'll either kill me or force me to work for them. Aro was quite interested in my Gift."

"You can read minds," I remembered. "Why can't you read mine?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I like it," he smiled shyly. "It's so peaceful yet not lonely when you're around."

"Why don't you join the Volturi?" I asked, changing the topic to distract him from staring at me. There was something in the way he looked at me that made me think there was a lot more to his story than what he had told me.

"Because, whether you believe it or not, Bella, Vampires are being controlled too," he said. "By them and I wouldn't want to be a part of that."

I wasn't about to let him go into a sob story that would make me feel sorry for the Vamps so instead I asked, "If the Volturi are so powerful wouldn't they know to keep tabs on you and Tanya?"

"They do every ten years," Edward nodded. "So we stayed together for nearly seventy years."

"Wow," I breathed.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Tanya tried to make it work but it didn't feel right and I was starting to think about ending my existence when we met Alice and Jasper."

"Alice as in Alice Whitlock?" I asked.

He nodded. "We were heading to the Blood Bank in Toronto when we ran into them though Alice saw us coming obviously. She was nice and I befriended them both easily though Tanya didn't approve. We travelled together for a while until Alice had a vision about eighteen years ago."

"What was it?" I asked.

"She saw my Mate."

I gasped. "As in your real one?"

He nodded. "Tanya was even more unhappy after that and she went her own way. Alice said she knew a small town in Washington where I could hide because she knew I would be dead if the Volturi caught me without Tanya."

"So where's your real Mate then?" I asked. "Did you ever find her?"

He nodded silently. "She moved to Forks just under a month ago, and I think she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. But I don't think she likes me very much." He smiled crookedly at me and it all fell into place.

The spark; the easiness between us; that fact that I was born around the same time Alice had her vision. "Oh God no," I said, jumping up and backing away. The ice cream tub dropped from my hands, spilling the almost liquid contents onto the wooden floor. Normally I would be cleaning that up right away but I barely noticed it as I backed away from Edward.

"Bella, Alice said I would need to give you time," he said. "But I hope that you see that this isn't something we can run away from."

"Stop it! Just stop it!" I cried. "I don't want to hear it, please, just leave me alone."

I ran out the house then, abandoning my groceries and racing to the truck. I couldn't get it started quickly enough. It took me a while to find the main road since I was driving in the dark without really caring where I was going but I managed to get home in one piece. Charlie was still at work so I deleted the answer phone message I had left before collapsing to the floor in tears.

This was the last thing I wanted. I had never asked for anything like this. Why couldn't Edward have picked Lauren or Jess since they were the ones who really wanted to be one of them, who were obsessed with them?

But I knew why as soon as I'd thought of the question. Edward hadn't chosen me just as I hadn't chosen him. It was just another one of their stupid Vamp tricks. We didn't get to choose who we fell in love with. Even now with me hating him for telling me I was his Mate I still ached with pain for upsetting him and running from him.

There was a knock at the door a few minutes later and I tensed up, fearing he had followed me. Maybe he didn't take too kindly to being rejected. Maybe he'd come to kill me.

"Bella? It's Alice. I've got your groceries."

My knees shaking slightly, I stood up and opened the door letting her in. I was numb as she sped through the kitchen and put everything away. She appeared by my side in seconds.

"I think we need to talk," she said.

"And I'm assuming it's not about my Art work," I said miserably. Alice took my arm gently and led me to the living room where we sat down slowly on the sofa together. "I haven't been completely honest with you, Bella," she began.

"You're telling me," I mumbled. She obviously heard it but chose to ignore it.

"You're lucky I stopped Edward from coming over," she said suddenly as if to get back at me for my tone.

But her words made my breath catch in my throat in fear, made my heart beat faster. And all the while there was this longing to be with Edward and make sure he was okay.

"He wouldn't hurt you," Alice told me confidently, sensing my fear. "But he's worried he might have upset you and wanted to check on you himself. I stopped him."

"Why?"

"Because I saw you throwing a kitchen chair at him as he tried to climb through the back window."

I smiled despite the seriousness in her voice.

"So I've come here to explain myself," she said. I didn't say anything but waited for her to continue. She did after a long and studious look at me, "When I asked you to deliver that first basket a couple of weeks ago it was because I had a vision of Edward seeing you."

"He saw me?" I asked, trying to remember that first day.

"Yes," Alice nodded. "Or rather, he felt you. He was out hunting."

"Felt me?" I questioned, remembering the bang on the roof of my truck. My stomach turned slightly as I realized it had been him. That ferocious bang and the gentle boy I'd seen today seemed too different to be the same person.

"Vamps can feel when their Mates are around," Alice explained.

I shifted away from her slightly. She smiled apologetically.

"I know it's a lot for you to take in," she said. "And, being a human, you probably wouldn't understand anyway."

"I understand perfectly well!" I said, suddenly annoyed that she was doubting my intelligence. "I know all about the stupid spark and feeling of belonging when you're with them. And how, when you're not with them, you feel like you have this big hole in your chest." Subconsciously, I reached up and place a hand on my chest right on my Killer Scar.

Alice smirked, and I realized she had trapped me.

"Like Edward said," she told me, gently placing a hand on the one that was on my chest as if holding myself together. "It's not something you can run away from."

Before I could even ask how she knew Edward had said that, she was gone. Leaving me alone with my thoughts but not for long. Charlie came in a few minutes later; Alice must have heard him coming and decided it best to leave before he saw her.

"You okay, Bells?" Charlie asked me upon seeing my face. I realized my cheeks must have been splotchy from my tears.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, wiping my face self-consciously with my jacket sleeve. "I just stubbed my toe."

"Oh," was all Charlie had to say to that. "What did you get from the store? Any ice cream?"

"N-no," I stuttered, remembering the spilt carton on Edward's floor.

I understood the longing part when I wasn't near him but what I didn't understand was the slight flutter in my stomach whenever I actually thought of him.


	7. Hospital

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**

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**

7. Hospital

Jess caught up with me on Monday in school. To say I was surprised to see her walk so confidently up to mine and Angela's table was an understatement.

"I just wanted to thank you for Saturday," she said quietly, her back to Angela's horrified face.

"No problem," I said unsurely. It took me a few minutes to locate being with Jess at the Blood Bank in my memory. So much had happened since then.

Jess gave me an almost friendly smile that seemed a bit too uncomfortable as her eyes flitted along my scars before walking away.

"What was that all about?" Angela questioned, watching Jess go.

"She freaked out at the Blood Bank on Saturday," I explained. I knew Jess hadn't wanted anybody to know but I was too tired and my brain was too muddled to think of a good lie. Angela simply raised her eyebrows in surprise but didn't push it any further.

"What did you think of the meeting?" she asked me, dropping her voice to a whisper so I knew which 'meeting' she was talking about.

"I became an Angel," I shrugged. "Doesn't that tell you enough?" She seemed surprised by my answer as though she had expected me to praise the meeting to the heavens and whip out some matches to aim at Alice. I quickly changed the subject. "So, Ben and Eric huh?"

Angela blushed bright red. "They're our researchers," Angela explained. "Both of them a clever enough to be at college but–"

"They're not Qualified?" I asked, my surprise making it come out as a question.

"No," Angela said sternly, looking me in the eye. "You can't be an Angel and be Qualified. What sort of Angel would choose to cross over to their side? You weren't planning on applying for a VQA were you?"

"My grades aren't good enough," I said automatically. But I couldn't deny the fact that I had thought of Edward. Was an Angel not allowed to be associated with a Vamp too? "You know, you could have told me the rule book before I agreed to join."

Angela gave a small life. "You never agreed," she told me. "God chose you."

Shifting uncomfortably, I decided to change to another topic. "What about James?"

"James?" Angela questioned. "Oh, he's new. He's Bridget's grandson. I think he joined about a month ago."

"Bridget?"

"The old lady in the church foyer?" Angela prompted.

"Oh, I remember," I said, surprised I hadn't took much notice of her before.

"He seemed to like you," Angela smiled. "I saw him talking to you in the parking lot through one of the church windows."

"What were you doing?" I asked defensively, feeling my cheeks heat up. "Spying on me?"

Angela laughed.

"Okay, so what's the deal with Bernard and Harry?" I asked, wanting to move the topic away from James. I couldn't help but think of Edward when she initiated that there was something going on between me and James.

"Bernard was the one who came up with the idea," Angela explained. "His twin sister Qualified and became a Vamp when she was twenty-three."

"I bet that hit him hard," I said. I tried to imagine that; living my life with somebody always by my side until they chose a different path leaving me to grow old and leave them behind.

"It did," Angela nodded. "And Harry? Well, that's complicated."

"I think I can keep up," I told her.

"You can't let anybody know that I told you this, okay?" Angela said, dropping her voice to a whisper. The murmurings of the cafeteria faded around me as she spoke, "Billy's wife was killed by a Vamp."

"What?" I cried, a little too loudly. Heads turned and Angela hushed me.

Once everybody had resumed to their conversations, she leaned forward again and continued, "They got the Vamp, took him away and did whatever they do with them I guess."

"Does Jacob know?" I asked.

"You mean Billy's son? No. His older sisters do though. He was too young to remember any of it. Rebecca and Rachel couldn't stand lying to him. That's why they moved away as soon as they could."

"Why are they lying to him?" I asked, frowning. I felt terrible for Jacob. Losing a parent was bad enough but to lose them in such circumstances would have been horrifying. Maybe it was a good thing he didn't know.

"Billy doesn't want him getting this hatred for Vamps," she explained. "Especially when there's a good chance he'll shift."

"And where does Harry come into this?"

"They're all close on the res," Angela continued. "Most of the adults grew up together. Sarah was like Harry's sister. He couldn't just accept what happened to her and move on like Billy did."

"Wow," I murmured. "Poor Jake."

"Don't tell him," Angela said quickly. "If you do, Harry will never forgive me and you'll probably break the poor kid's heart."

"I won't," I promised. I realized it would be a good thing to keep this from Jake but I knew it would be hard keeping such a big secret from him when I was with him.

My original anger for Vamps came back then, thinking of poor Sarah Black, but then Edward's face came to my mind. Edward who had done nothing but be a stupid teenage boy back in 1918, who had been living off animal blood for the past eighteen years, waiting for me.

"Hey, look it's snowing!" I heard a familiar voice call from one of the tables near the window. I looked to find Mike with Tyler, Lauren and Jess. He was standing up and pointing out the window to where flurries of snow were falling to the ground in a way that resembled rain rather than the winter wonderlands I've seen in movies.

Almost everybody in the cafeteria looked over to him but it was my eye that he caught, sending a smirk and a wink my way.

"Jerk," Angela muttered under her breath. I looked at her in surprise. "Oh, come on, Bella," she said, rolling her eyes. "He exudes jerkiness." She smiled at me but I was still surprised.

"So you mean you don't know anything about Saturday?" I asked her.

"No, why?" she asked, looking confused and concerned. "What happened on Saturday?"

"Nothing," I said quickly, wishing I hadn't brought it up. "I saw them in the car lot at the Thriftway, him and Tyler, and they were acting like…jerks." I didn't mention them hassling me as I knew I couldn't avoid it without mentioning Edward. He'd taken a risk showing himself that night. I just hoped Tyler and Mike thought him nothing more than a nomad passing through.

But why did I hope? I hated being so concerned with Edward's wellbeing. I wished I'd never met him – but then I felt guilty for thinking like that.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Angela sighed, getting up. I took one last glance at Mike's table. By now all four of them were looking at us. I made my escape quickly with Angela.

"You don't mind if we go to the Office do you?" Angela asked. "I need to drop off a letter to Bridget."

"Bridget works at the school?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, but she goes by Mrs. Cope," Angela explained. "Have you not seen her before?"

"No," I admitted. "I've only been to the Office once and there was a young woman there."

"Miss. Tanner," Angela supplied for me. "First name's Bree. She came over here from Seattle though I don't know why. Why would anybody want to move here?"

"Maybe some people don't have a choice," I muttered. I realized I had never told Angela why I had moved here nor had she asked. I stopped walking to gather my thoughts. Opening up to Edward over the weekend had made me feel a lot better about myself and my situation. Why would opening up to my friend be any different?

"I'm sorry," Angela said straight away, stopping a few steps ahead of me when she realized I wasn't following. "I didn't mean to upset you or anything…"

"It's fine," I told her. I took a deep breath and said, "I moved here because my mom and her husband were sent to jail." Angela didn't react but nodded her head to confirm she was listening. "They went down for shooting at a werewolf."

At that Angela did react. She clenched her hands into fists practically growled in anger. "Stupid L.W.C," she seethed.

"You know about them?" I asked, surprised.

"Everybody knows about them," she answered. We started walking again, mainly so Angela could calm down. "We don't get werewolves round here but everybody knows about them. I don't see why Vamps are so protective over them anyway."

"Maybe it's because they know they can…you know…kill them," I said unsure I should be talking about it in public.

"Don't say that aloud outside the church again," Angela told me, almost threateningly.

"Sorry," I said.

"It's a good theory though," she added, perhaps feeling guilty over her tone. I shrugged.

Once we hit the end of the school corridor and had no choice but to go outside to get to the school Office, we broke into a run. That was big mistake number one. The ground had become slippery overnight but now that the snow was falling it was even worse. My foot slipped ahead of me causing me to cry out in surprise.

Angela turned towards me, and that was big mistake number two as she too slipped only she fell to the floor, banging her head with a thud.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, but her eyes looked a little dazed.

"Let's get to the Office," I said, helping her up.

It turned out Angela was not okay as she fainted as soon as we hit the Office. A panicked Bridget Cope quickly phoned for an ambulance before calling for Alice.

"There's no bleeding on the brain," Alice confirmed. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. I didn't know whether she could tell that from her sense of smell or her visions but both were unnatural. "Bella, why don't you ride with Angela to the hospital? She could do with a friend there until her parents show up."

I was about to protest, saying Angela would hate all the fuss, but something in Alice's eyes made me stop.

"Okay," I said.

Mrs. Cope didn't seem too happy about it but Alice was a Vamp and they can be very persuasive. I was let off for the rest of the day.

The ambulance ride was awkward as Angela was still out of it and the EMT seemed a bit put-out that I was taking valuable space in the back.

At the hospital, Angela's doctor turned out to have pale skin and red eyes.

"Hello, Angela, I'm Dr. Cullen," he introduced himself. Automatically the name brought up a memory of Charlie telling me about the Vamps in Forks. Dr. Cullen – wife of Esme.

Angela looked up at him dizzily and her eyes widened when she saw him.

"I don't think she wants you to treat her," I said.

Dr. Cullen turned to look at me where I stood awkwardly next to Angela's bed.

Angela shook her head frantically as if agreeing with me, only to moan and clutch her head in pain.

"Take it easy, Angela," Dr. Cullen told her. "And I'll send somebody else to treat you."

I watched him leave in surprise. Normally Vamps would disagree and persuade the patient that they knew best. At least that was what they had done in Phoenix. But Dr. Cullen put up no fight and seemed to respect Angela's wishes.

Angela was still a bit dizzy when her parents arrived.

"Thanks for looking after her, Bella," Mrs. Weber gushed, giving me a hug.

"They said she'll just be a bit dizzy," I informed them awkwardly before slipping away. The snow and the winter season meant outside was a dull grey that resembled early evening rather than mid-afternoon.

"Bella," a voice whispered from round the side of the hospital building.

I recognized it anywhere, and even if I hadn't recognized it, the feeling in the pit of my stomach and the racing of my heart would have told me otherwise.

Edward Masen.

Without thinking, I followed his voice round the side of the hospital where we were alone. Separated from the outside world by a brick wall and a tall row of hedges, our surroundings felt all of a sudden very intimate.

"I didn't think you would come," Edward said, a relieved smile tugging up the corners of his mouth.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I was here with Angela."

"I meant here," he said, taking a step forward, "Here with me, all alone."

Involuntarily, I took a step back and didn't miss the disappointment that danced along his face.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"Don't be," he said. "It'll take time but you'll get used to it."

I realized then that Alice had seen this scene, had seen me talking to Edward and that was why she had insisted on me accompanying Angela to the hospital. I felt as though I should be angry but I was beginning to accept Alice would always be one step ahead of me, controlling my every move. I made a mental note not to listen to her in the future and wondered whether she would see that too.

"Edward," I sighed, unsure what to say. Eventually, realizing he was hanging on to my every word, I said, "Aren't you worried someone might see you?"

"As long as they're not from the Volturi I don't care," he said, keeping his eyes on me. I waited for his gaze to become too intense, for me to feel the need to look away. But the need never came. Instead I was forced to blink and look away but only because my eyes were drying out. I smiled, finding the whole thing quite comical.

"What are you thinking?" he asked suddenly, seeing my smirk.

"Nothing," I said, smiling even more.

"Stop that," he said, sounding like a little kid. "It's very frustrating."

"Now you know how everybody else feels," I said. "You know; the ones who can't read minds."

He smiled sheepishly. After a moment of silence he said what I knew he had wanted to talk to me for, "Will you be delivering my basket on Thursday?"

"Do I need to?" I asked. His face fell and I hurried to explain myself, "I mean, you're out in the open now, why don't you just get your things yourself?"

"I came here to visit Carlisle," Edward said, sounding like he was a little kid trying to explain something so he wouldn't get told off. "And I'm going back to my house now – through the woods and as fast as I can so I don't get seen."

I smiled at him. "You know, Edward, if we're friends then you wouldn't have to wait until next Thursday to see me."

"Friends?" he asked, sounding disappointed.

"Don't rush me, Edward," I said to him, more sternly. "This…thing," I waved my hands frantically between us, "Is not normal."

Edward seemed to disagree though. "It's the most normal thing in the world," he said.

"For you maybe," I admitted. "But not for me. Not for…humans."

At first I thought my statement would annoy him but he just gave me a smile. A beautiful smile. "The world has changed," he said suddenly. "_Your _world has changed. Back in my time – when I was human – people married once and stayed with that person forever."

"Humans don't have forever," I corrected him rationally.

"Until they died then," he said, changing his words. It seemed odd that he looked uncomfortable, that he didn't like the thought of death – something he would never have to encounter. "But now, you skip from one to the next."

"Not all of us," I said, feeling the need to defend the whores of my race.

"Not you then?" he asked. Then he got a little brave. Taking a deep – and clearly unnecessary – breath, he reached out and took my hand in his. His skin was so cold that it made my hands feel clammy. Or maybe they were already clammy before. I couldn't remember. "Can I tell you a secret?" he asked.

I blinked furiously, determined he wouldn't dazzle me as his race was often known for doing. "Yes," I said, both surprised and annoyed to find my voice a little breathless.

"Humans do mate for life," he said, his voice so quiet and gentle it would be rude to just call it a whisper, "They're just impatient."

And then he was gone. Suddenly my fingertips were warm again and the leaves of the hedges rustled slightly. But Edward wasn't there.

Shaking my head, I left and headed for home. Mechanically, I prepared dinner. It was only when Charlie got home that I realized I had been in some sort of trance for hours.

"I heard Angela got taken to the hospital," he said over dinner.

"Yeah," I said, a beat late. "She hit her head on some ice in school while walking to the Office."

"Well that's new," Charlie chuckled. "Aren't you usually the one who falls?"

I gave him a weak smile back. It was enough for him to ask if I was okay.

"I'm just tired," I said, rubbing my eyes for emphasis.

He didn't say anything more, clearly having given up on trying to draw a conversation out of me. I felt bad as we hadn't seen each other all day but I just wasn't in the mood for talking. My mind was full of Edward; what he had said; when I would see him again; how I felt with him; how I felt without him. At that last thought, I clutched my chest, feeling it ache in his absence.


	8. Kiss

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**

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8. Kiss

My hands shook slightly as I parked the truck outside of Edward's cottage. Not only was I seeing him on a Tuesday instead of being in school but I also had no package for him. I was here for me via my own free will.

I'd never been so grateful for Alice's gift as I had that morning. I'd phoned up the school office once Charlie had left for work and she had picked up having seen she'd wanted to speak to me.

"I'm not coming in," I told her. "I'm going to see Edward. I was just wondering if you could excuse me seeing as you've not exactly given me any privacy the past couple of weeks."

"Bella," she had said in a controlled tone. "I was going to excuse you anyway. There's no need to be like that."

I'd wanted to apologize but instead I said, "How's Angela?"

"They kept her in overnight as a twenty-four hour precaution," she answered me a little stiffly. "And no, I didn't use my Gift to find that out – Carlisle told me."

"Carlisle?" I found myself asking as I tried to place the name.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen," she prompted. "The doctor to whom you were so rude yesterday?"

I had hung up then, not wanting a lecture from a Vamp about being rude to a Vamp which would only end with me apologizing to one of the Vamps. I did feel a little guilty for how I had spoken to the doctor yesterday but it was for Angela. She had made it clear she hadn't wanted to be treated by one of _them._

As I jumped down from my truck, I realized I wasn't even sure if Alice would excuse me anymore after our little heated argument.

"Alice said she excused you so stop worrying," Edward said, suddenly at my side. I jumped.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind," I accused.

"I didn't," he said defensively. "Alice called – she was the one who told me you were worrying."

"Oh," was all I could say. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he grinned. "So what are you doing here?"

"I've come for a visit," I said.

"During school hours?"

I suddenly found the dead leaves at my feet very interesting, and I kicked them around with my boot as I said, "I didn't think Angela would be in today."

"So I'm the next best thing?" he guessed, looking a little dejected.

"Don't put it like that," I told him. "I was coming to see you before Thursday anyway. The sooner the better right?"

In all honesty I didn't want to go to school on my own, not with Mike and Tyler around. There was every chance Lauren would get her bitch on too. When I first moved here, something like that wouldn't have bothered me – I would have even expected it. But I'd grown used to Angela's attitude and friendship. I didn't want to be on my own anymore.

Edward smiled at me. I think he was just glad I was here and I hadn't gone running for the hills.

"Would you like to come in?" he asked formally before leading the way up the porch and into his house.

I followed with uncertain steps. I wasn't sure what I was here for, wasn't sure what we were going to do all day.

"Does your father know you're here?" he asked suddenly as I sat down on the couch.

"No," I said. "I don't think he would be too happy about me skipping school."

"Does he know about me?" He was in the kitchen and I was facing the blank TV so I couldn't see him but something in his tone made me think he wanted my dad to know about him. He sounded eager.

"No," I said. "Why? I thought you didn't want anybody to know about you."

"I don't," he said, sounding dejected. He came into the living room then, walking at human speed. I think he didn't want to scare me like he had done outside the house. "But I wouldn't mind my girlfriend's father knowing about me."

And then I lost it. I burst out laughing so hard that it hurt and tears sprang to my eyes.

"What is it?" he asked, sounding more concerned than anything else. That only made me laugh harder.

"Edward," I said, once I'd calmed down. I wiped tears from my eyes. "Most boys wouldn't want their girlfriend's dad knowing about them."

"But I'm not like most boys, Bella," he reminded me quietly. "And this isn't some sort of _fling._"

"Excuse me?" I said, hearing how odd the word 'fling' sounded in Edward's gentlemanly tone.

"I've heard about them," he said. "Over the years – even as far back as my day – I've heard humans think about the flings they have. They draw a line between love and lust."

I nodded. "Yeah, so?"

"But it's wrong," Edward continued, sitting by me. For the first time I noticed he was holding an ice cream tub and metal spoon. "You should only lust after the one you love."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, the ice cream tub temporarily forgotten. "Erm, okay then, but they're only human. If that's how you think then I'm sure you…_loved _a lot of girls back when you were human." I grinned at him trying to let him know I was joking.

Instead he looked annoyed. "I haven't been seventeen for a long time now, Bella," he said. "It's not my fault I still look so young."

"You chose to become a Vamp," I pointed out, a bit put-out he wasn't amused.

"Maybe I did choose to become a Vampire," he agreed. "But if I hadn't you really think Tanya would have just let me go?"

I didn't say anything.

"Exactly." He looked pleased that he had made a point.

I decided to change the subject. "What's with the ice cream?" I asked. "I thought you guys didn't like our food."

"It's for you," he said. "I thought you might be visiting more often now so I asked Esme to do a bit of shopping for me."

"You thought?" The way he had said it sounded like he had 'assumed'.

"I hoped," he corrected himself. He handed the tub and the spoon over. I smiled at the fact it was the same type I had been eating when he had admitted we were Mated.

"When did you first realize?" I asked suddenly, hoping he understood what I was asking without me having to clarify it.

"The first time you delivered the basket," he said confidently. "It felt like some sort of magnetic pull, and then when I visited your house…"

"You visited my house?" I asked, surprised. "When?"

He at least had the decency to look sheepish. "You were out; I heard your father thinking about your plans to spend the day at La Push so I took my chances."

"You were in my room," I realized, remembering my book on the floor when I had returned from spending the day at the Blacks.

"I am sorry," he said suddenly, looking very guilty. "I hope you can forgive me for intruding."

"What were you doing in my room?" I demanded.

"I wanted to know more about you," he explained. "And I couldn't wait until you visited me again."

I shook my head. "But why didn't you just talk to me?" I asked, confused, remembering the second time I had delivered the basket. "You just scared me away."

"I didn't mean to," he said. "But I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if you would like me…" He trailed off nervously and I was left sitting there, staring at him in awe.

All this time I had been thinking of Edward as nothing more than a Vamp; someone who was of higher importance than me, who wasn't even human, so didn't deserve to be treated as such. But underneath all that, he was still a boy. Despite him trying to convince me earlier that he hadn't been a teenager for years, he was still acting like a teenage boy would over his first crush. I knew it; I'd seen it in High School and on the movies – though the Vamps always did a poor job of impersonating us humans.

I was sure if Edward had a blood flow he would have been blushing.

"It's okay," I told him, trying to reassure him so he wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. I hated the fact he had been in my room without me knowing but, now, I realized I would have hated the fact whether he would have been human or not. "Can I ask you something?" I ventured, wanting to get everything out in the open so we wouldn't have to approach this topic and embarrass Edward again.

"Anything," he said confidently.

"Was that also you streaking in the woods?" I blurted. His eyes widened. "I think a saw one of you running round naked on my way home from La Push. Don't worry though," I hastily added. "I didn't see anything – you were too fast – and Charlie was too drunk to even notice the truck had stopped."

"Erm, yes," he admitted, keeping his eyes on the floor. "After I'd been to your house I took a trip up to Canada and got into a fight with a bear. My clothing didn't survive."

There was a beat of silence before I burst out laughing.

"What is it this time?" he asked, sounding exasperated but smiling at the same time.

"You're just too funny," I told him, sighing. My eyes fell on a DVD case beside his television. It was crammed with movies. "Can we watch a movie?" I asked, sounding like a little child. It'd been ages since I'd watched a movie.

"Okay," Edward said, surprised at the change in conversation. "What do you want to watch?"

I scanned the titles and picked the one with the most human cast in it. But even then I couldn't watch it properly; partly because the red bands around the human actors' wrists reminded me they were giving up and betraying their species, but mainly because of Edward sat next to me.

It was odd. I'd never felt so aware of a person next to me before. I was also very aware he was watching me the entire time the movie played too. I didn't dare check to make sure though; I was afraid to meet his eyes.

Once the credits started rolling, I felt Edward shift slightly next to me. It was an odd, almost human action as he'd been as still as a statue for the past couple of hours.

"Bella," he whispered my name, and I turned my head to face him.

He wasn't looking at my eyes though; his eyes were transfixed on my lips. He leaned forward first, ever so slowly, testing to see if I would reject him. I stayed where I was, frozen. Half of me wanted to run, half of me wanted to stay and kiss him. And then there was the tiny bit of me – so small it didn't even deserve to be called a fraction – that wanted so much more.

I was too busy thinking to realize how close he was. The feel of his icy lips on mine shocked me out of my thoughts.

Just over a year ago, back in Phoenix, I had been studying in the library when I'd overheard some Groupies at a nearby table. I remember them being a group of three; two assistants looking up to their tanned blonde leader.

"He did what?" the shorter of the two assistants had squealed. I'd stopped reading up on George Washington – the only human president in history – to listen to them. I hated to admit it but, having never even been kissed, I had been curious to hear what they were talking about.

"Keep your voice down," Blondie hissed. "He kissed me – that's all."

"For now," the taller assistant added cheekily. "How old is he anyway?"

"Three hundred," Blondie answered. The three of them squealed. I knew what age meant to Vamp Groupies – the older the better. The old one always had more security to offer – and they were usually the neediest for attention whether it be from Vamp or human.

"What was it like?" Shorty asked, dream-liked. I resisted the urge to gag; what sort of girl fantasized about being kissed by a Vamp?

"Perfect," Blondie sighed. I pressed my lips together to keep from throwing up. "He was so gentle."

Ever since then I'd always decided that kissing a Vamp would be the worst experience ever. It was obvious – even without knowing the biology of a Vamp – that Blondie had sugar-coated everything. Not only would the temperature difference be uncomfortable but they were so hard and strong that it would be like kissing a boulder that could crush you at any second.

But kissing Edward was so much different than what I had first thought. It had nothing to do with the fact he was so gentle and my skin was so hot that anything would have felt cold to me right there and then. It was the fact that it was Edward. That this was how it was meant to be. We were Mated and no matter how many other people we kissed it would never be the same.

Finally, after what felt like forever, he pulled back and looked me over as though determining my reaction.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," he whispered.

I gave him a lazy smile. "You've only know me for a month," I reminded him.

"No," he said. "I mean I've been waiting for you since I was turned, since I was born." I didn't tell him that the image of him as a baby after we'd just kissed was a little off-putting. Instead I smiled and kept on smiling until he said, "It never felt like that with Tanya."

My face fell. "Tanya?" I repeated. "You kissed her?"

"I had to," he frowned. "I thought you would have already known that."

Deep down I knew I had known and was annoyed with myself for sounding so shocked and hurt. But I couldn't help it. The thought of Edward kissing somebody else physically hurt me, like a stab in my chest – right where my Killer Scar lay.

"Did you…do other things?" I couldn't help but ask.

His face told me all I needed to know and I fought back the anger rising up inside me.

"I had to," he mumbled, sounding more ashamed than he had done when he had told me he had snuck into my room. "If the Volturi suspected us for one minute…"

"Okay," I said, breathing deeply. "I know, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to him. "I wish it was never like this, Bella, I wish I'd met you by the Christmas tree instead of Tanya."

"I wish so too," I sniffed, thinking of how much easier things would have been. But I gave myself a mental slap when I realized I was fantasizing about a perfect human romance. There never was one; not for as long as we were under the control of the Vamps.

"I wish I'd Qualified." He sounded upset now, as close to a Vamp could get to crying. "If I had then I could claim you as a Mate and I wouldn't have to hide."

I didn't say anything to that. I didn't have the heart to tell him that no force on this Earth could convince me to betray my kind and leave my species behind.

"Please don't leave me, Bella," he said, sounding almost like he was pleading. "I can't go back to how it was before. I've never felt like this. Please don't leave me."

"I won't," I promised, nestling into him. Despite the cold, I'd never felt so safe and comfortable.

Edward placed his nose in my hair and breathed deeply. I was glad he couldn't see the partly-disgusted/partly-confused look I wore on my face.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Smelling you," he said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "I know Vamps are well-fed but there's nothing better than the smell of live blood."

I sat up bolt right. "What did you say?" I asked, shocked. "You mean you're looking for a meal. What? Is skunk blood not enough for you?"

"No!" Edward cried. "Bella, I was getting used to your scent. If anything I was testing myself not lining you up for dinner!"

I couldn't even move I was so frozen in shock. I'd always known Vamps fed off blood but it was the blood that we – not so willingly – donated. And I'd always known Vamps could kill us so easily but they didn't because of the Volturi law. I'd never really thought of them being tempted to drink from us live.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, and I felt like he had done nothing today but apologize. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Edward," I said slowly. "How do Vamps drink?"

"I drink from animals," he said, making sure not to mention what I had called their species though I knew it bothered him.

"I know," I said. "But how do the others drink? What happens to the blood in the Blood Banks?"

He didn't answer. Eventually I resigned myself to not getting an answer at all but then he said, "Bella, there are some secrets my species have that I would prefer you not to know." At first I felt my blood boil in anger that he wasn't going to tell me everything despite what we had shared and what we were. But then he said, "Just as there are secrets that your species has that you would prefer not to tell me."

It was then that I thought of the Association of Angels, about how Alice had seemed annoyed I would be joining them. She would know by now that I had joined them properly. I wondered if she had told Edward.


	9. Pain

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**9. Pain**

The sun made a rare appearance over the weekend and I drove down to La Push with my windows down, desperate to feel the heat on my face – no matter how little. The smell of salt water hit me through my window and I resisted the urge to close my eyes and take it all in. I didn't want to crash but at the same time I was dying to just shut my eyes and daydream about the beach in Phoenix where the sun wasn't as weak and the breeze wasn't as salty.

I'd visited Edward every day after school – bringing his basket with me on Thursday. We'd ended up discussing about our favorite books and movies; something so normal it was only when I looked at Edward's pale skin and gold eyes that I had to remind myself he was a Vamp. The love of my life? Unfortunately, yes. But he was also not human. Not anymore.

He'd seemed surprised when I mentioned _Wuthering Heights _as my favorite novel.

"That was the book I picked up when I was in your room," he had said as though he was remembering aloud. He'd looked slightly embarrassed at reminding me of the incident but had continued to say anyway, "I had to double-check – you don't often find teenagers reading that sort of stuff nowadays unless..." He trailed off, looking even more uncomfortable.

"Unless they're studying it at University," I had finished for him. We both knew an acceptance into University only came to those who Qualified. Edward didn't know about my views on Qualifying. He had yet to ask.

So after seeing him every day this week I had decided to take a break and visit Jacob. It wasn't that I loathed spending time with Edward but I had other friends too and I already saw Angela in school. She was doing much better now though she didn't remember anything from after she banged her head on the ice. I decided not to tell her about the Vamp doctor almost treating her.

Jake looked overjoyed to see me. "Hey, Bella!" he cried before he'd even fully opened the door. "What brings you here on this fine day?"

The day was far from fine but I just laughed. "I came to see how you were doing," I told him. But I felt my smile beginning to hurt. Looking at Jake brought back Angela's story of how his mother was killed by a Vamp.

It was stuff like this that made me feel guilty for loving Edward. I tried to think about what Edward had said to me when we'd had our first civil conversation after he'd chased Tyler and Mike away. He'd said he hadn't done anything to me personally. I tried to use that now; it wasn't Edward who had killed Sarah Black.

"I'm good, thanks," Jake said. "How've you been?"

"Same," I replied, shrugging.

We looked at each other for a moment then and I felt something between us, this silent understanding. He didn't know what had happened to his mother nor did he know that I knew but I would put the little money I had on the fact that Jacob knew how I had gotten my scars. Yet both of us said nothing about the secrets we knew. We kept them hidden because sometimes it's better that way. It shows the Vamps can't have all of us. They'll always be this small part of humanity – or shape-shifting – that would be buried away, locked in our thoughts where we were safe.

Well, except from Edward. Every other human and shape-shifter's thoughts weren't safe from Edward. But I was.

"You fancy going for another walk?" Jacob asked, a little uneasily. "My dad's got a few friends round and they're sort of…having a heated discussion."

As if on cue I heard shouts echo from the kitchen down the hall.

"And by heated discussion you mean they're trying not to kill each other," I said a little awkwardly. I'd meant it as joking but part of me wondered if Jake and I should stay and keep a look out. Billy was in a wheelchair after all…

"Pretty much, yeah," Jake laughed. But he was already outside with me, closing the door behind him with a soft click. The shouting raged on inside, dulled slightly by the thin wood of the door.

"Can I ask what it's about?" I ventured as the two of us set off down the street towards the beach.

"You can," Jacob nodded. "But I don't have the answer."

"Ooh, so it's a secret meeting then," I teased, elbowing him but my stomach was doing flips with nerves. I could have sworn I had heard Harry in there. And the only reason I could think of for Billy and Harry arguing was…the Association.

"Yup," Jacob sighed. "Apparently I'm too young to hear."

"Well, you are fifteen," I reminded him. I wished I hadn't though; he looked a little down after I'd said it. So I added, "Maybe it's about your shifting."

He looked interested then. "Why would they be arguing though?" he asked. "It's not like it'll cause a problem. Loads of my friends have already shifted.

"Did you hear anything they were saying?" I asked, trying to piece together the argument myself. I had no intention of telling Jacob if I did figure it out.

"No." He smiled. "My dad and his friends have a way of talking to each other through annoyed grunts."

I laughed but was still uneasy. It sounded like they were too angry to even get their words out.

"You want to go down to the beach?" he asked.

I nodded and we turned a corner. Jacob pulled a band out of his pocket and looped his hair into a ponytail similar to mine. Back in Phoenix the wind had never been a problem. Even if there was a rare gale, the tall buildings which were home to many of the Phoenix Vamps would shield the rest of the city from any gusts. But here in La Push, the houses were built so low and the weather was so bad that you could feel the gale as soon as you started to see the little red houses.

We found our spot again where we were shielded by the wind and I opted for a topic that I knew would take Jacob's mind off his quarrelling father and his friends.

"So, any signs of shifting?" I asked him.

"Not yet," he mumbled. "But Dad says my temperature's going up by the day."

"Wow," I said, trying to sound impressed.

He saw right through it though. "The shifters here have high temperatures," he explained. "We think it's because of the weather – Dad says he knew a friend who knew some fox shifters from Arizona. They had really cool temperatures because of the heat."

"Arizona isn't too bad," I reasoned. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"That's because it was your climate," Jacob reasoned but then he frowned. "Although, in a way, it wasn't. Both your parents came from Washington."

I didn't want him to talk about my parents and mention my mom so I changed the topic. "So, anything else shape-shifter-y you want to tell me?" I asked. Jacob's eyes lit up. I guess, being the youngest of the potential shifters, he'd never really gotten the chance to tell somebody about it himself.

"Okay then," he said. "How about imprinting?"

"Imprinting?" I questioned. "And what would that be?"

"Imprinting is when you find your soul-mate."

I felt my stomach drop. "You mean like Mating."

He grinned at the word, still as childish as the day I met him. "Mating is to do with Vampires," he corrected me. "Imprinting is our version."

"So what's the human version?" I wondered aloud.

"True love?" he guessed but, being a teenage boy, he couldn't help but put on a stupid voice.

"So go on then, lover boy," I teased. "Tell me about imprinting."

"Okay," Jacob said excitedly, ignoring the jibe. "Basically it's finding the girl that will be able to carry on the shifter gene with you."

"Girl?" I questioned.

"Most of the shifters here are male. Again I think it's to do with the weather. My dad's friend said the fox shifters were mostly female."

"So, I guess there's no room for homosexuality then?"

"Nope," Jake said. "Again, that's just the Vampires."

Hundreds of years ago homosexuality had been deemed wrong by the Church. Because Vamps can't breed – sorry, having children – then they often ended up with same-sex Mates. Since this wasn't really a necessity for humans, the Church deemed it wrong because it was mainly a Vamp thing.

It's one of the few periods of History I truly remember, simply because it was the only time when humans and Vamps actually came close to working together. Same-sex human couples went against the Church for what they said and the Vamps backed them up until eventually the Church had no choice but to back down or be slaughtered. It was also one of the rare moments in History when the Volturi came close to allowing a group of Vamps to kill a group of humans.

"So," I said, "Have you…Imprinted?" The word felt foreign on my tongue and I couldn't help but frown as I said it.

"I haven't even shifted," he pointed out, but he had ducked his head as if embarrassed.

"But you've got your eye on someone…" I trailed off teasingly. It was so easy to fool around with Jacob. I felt more relaxed with him than with Angela.

"No I haven't," he protested but I knew he was lying. "Why?" he said. "Have you?"

I froze at his words but immediately forced myself to relax. It seemed ages ago since we were sat here discussing how I would never Mate with a Vamp. Wow, how times had changed.

"You have!" Jacob cried. I thought he had noticed my reaction but it turned out I was wrong. "I knew you couldn't resist me," he said smugly and jokingly.

I laughed a little too loud due to the relief I felt.

"Sam and Emily have though," he said suddenly, "Imprinted, I mean."

"Wow," I breathed. "So they're going to be together until they die?"

"Pretty much," Jacob nodded. "Sam says it's a very powerful thing. He says all you want to do is to be with them and make sure that they're happy. He says it hurts to be away from her."

I bit my lip. Everything Jacob was describing was exactly how I felt about Edward. The ache in my chest – which I had been trying to ignore all day – was slowly coming back in full force.

"They're having a party two weeks today," Jacob said suddenly. I frowned, surprised at this piece of random information. "To celebrate their Imprinting," he explained. "They sort of have this ceremony and then a party afterwards. You can come if you want."

"I don't know," I mumbled. "I'd feel like I was intruding."

"You wouldn't be," Jacob said. "I'd like you to come." He looked embarrassed after he'd said that.

"Then I would be honored," I told him, making a big deal out of it in a joking way to make him feel better.

"So is it like a wedding?" I asked.

"Not really," he hedged. "They can still have a wedding in a Church and everything, and it's nothing legal but it's our tradition."

"It sounds wonderful," I smiled. "I can't wait."

(*)

I saw Edward again on Sunday, unable to stay away from him for two days in a row.

"This is getting ridiculous," I admitted to him, after he'd done his version of hello by kissing me constantly. "I didn't long for you before I knew you existed."

"You did," he argued. "You just didn't know it."

"Do Vamp couples always feel like this?" I asked.

He hesitated as though he knew something but was unsure whether to even tell me let alone how to say it. "What is it?" I demanded.

"I think you better sit down," he said, worrying me.

Quickly, I crossed into the living room and sat cross-legged on the couch. Edward sat down, shifting his knees to the side so we were both facing each other.

"How does it feel when you're not with me?" he asked.

"Like there's a hole in my chest," I said without hesitation. I even clawed at my chest for emphasis but snatched my hand away when I realized he had been watching it hungrily.

Shifting slightly, he said, "It's because you're human; you can't contain all these strong emotions that you feel inside," he explained. "I don't feel it because I'm a Vampire."

"You don't long for me," I realized, angry that I sounded upset and almost like I was whining.

"Oh, I do," he said quickly, glancing at where my hand had been on my chest briefly before meeting my eyes again. "I really do, Bella, but my body and mind are stronger than yours so I don't feel the pain you do. I miss you though. A lot." Another glance.

"So how do I control it?" I asked. "Let's face it, Edward, there are going to be times in our lives when we won't be together 24/7 and I can't keep having this…weird mind pain thing."

"There's only one way to get rid of it," he told me. "You have to become a Vampire."

"No chance in hell!" I screamed without even realizing it.

I hadn't expected the look of pain that crossed Edward's face. He looked as though he was going to cry and not like a whiny cry but a full on sob of despair. I replayed my words in my mind and realized my hatred of becoming one of his kind had upset him greatly.

"Edward," I said gently, reaching over and taking his hand in mine. I started to trace patterns on the back of it, knowing he liked it when I did so. I spoke to him as though he was a child I was scared of upsetting. "We both know I can't become a Vamp." He physically flinched when I said 'Vamp'. I realized I needed to be more respectful in the future.

"I really want you to be though," he mumbled. "It's horrible when I see my friends with their Mates."

"I'm still your Mate," I assured him. "Nothing is going to change that. It shouldn't matter what our species are."

"You think it does though," he pointed out, catching me. "You hate us."

"I hate the Vamps who control us," I told him, hating how we were being separated through the use of the word 'us'. He meant Vamps and I meant humans. "I don't hate you," I promised him before taking a deep breath and saying the words we had both yet to utter. "I love you."

His breathing caught which surprised me because Vamps don't even need to breathe. "I love you too," he said, pulling me onto his lap and peppering my face with kisses. I stopped him though, using my hands to steer his head so his lips met mine.

We kissed gently as we always did. I knew my human blood tempted Edward who had been living off animals for so long and I knew his teeth were too sharp for us to open our mouths but it still felt good. It still felt right.

After a few minutes Edward grunted and shifted me so I was almost sat on his knees. "Too much," he mumbled.

"What?" I asked, dazed. "Oh, my blood. Sorry." It was definitely awkward, moments like these when there was a chance I could become his meal. After everything I had been through and everything I had believed, I was now making out with a Vamp.

"No, not your blood," he murmured, eyes fixed on my lips. "It was just…too much."

I frowned, took in his dazed expression before realization hit me and blood flooded my cheeks. "Sorry," I mumbled again, moving to sit on the sofa again. I was always forgetting Edward would always be frozen as a teenage boy. His human urges would only have intensified when he had turned and there was no way we were ready for anything like _that. _

"Don't apologize," he mumbled, a little louder this time and he was beginning to sound normal again. After a few minutes both of our breathing evened out but we were reluctant to look each other in the eyes.

"Do you think…" he began.

"Maybe one day…" I continued.

"We could…"

"Give it a go…"

"Just to see what it's like…"

"And then…"

He looked at me then, his eyes darker than usual. "It would be so much better than with Tanya," he suddenly blurted.

My eyes widened. "Well, charming!" I cried. "You sure know how to ruin a mood." My cheeks were burning with embarrassment and anger. How dare he bring Tanya up at a moment like that? And in such a way!

"Sorry, sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to say it like that. I just…I can't think with you near me, Bella."

I got up and made my way to the door. "Well, maybe I should go and you can give Tanya a call just in case your first try was an anomaly!"

"The second was the same."

"Edward!" I screamed.

"Sorry, sorry," he said again. "I'll shut up now. I just can't stop thinking…" He stopped himself then, looking as though – if he had a blood supply – he'd be as red as me. I sighed, taking pity on him, and sat back down on the sofa when Edward meekly suggested we put a movie on.

I realized we had distracted ourselves from an important topic – me staying human – but I didn't have the heart to bring it up again. He'd have to come to terms with it sooner or later; there was no way my species was ever going to change.


	10. Admitting Association

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**

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**

**10. Admitting Association**

On Monday morning I found Jessica Stanley sat in the seat across the aisle from mine in Art. Lauren wasn't in – which was immediately my first thought on the whole situation. Obviously Jess would have no other reason to sit with me. Even Alice cast a surprised glance my way as she made her rounds around the class.

Alice had since forgiven me over my rudeness to Dr. Cullen. Even though I had yet to even meet the guy properly let along apologize to him, she seemed to have brushed it under the carpet which was good since I had her class two hours a week.

"Hey, Bella," Jess said with a smile. I didn't know what was shinier; her lip-gloss or her teeth. "How are you?"

I suddenly became hyper-aware of my relationship with Edward. Was it obvious? Could she tell I was Mated just by looking at me? Sub-consciously I lifted my hand to my mouth touched my top lip, remembering our heated kisses yesterday. My skin flushed.

"Ooh, have you got a cold sore coming on?" Jess asked, already rooting in her bag. "I have something for that if you need it." She carried on rooting until a grabbed her wrist with my hand, effectively stopping her.

Hesitantly I said, "Erm, Jess, I don't want to sound rude but why are you here?"

She looked at me and, for a moment, I thought she was going to say something stupid like she was scheduled for Art first period on a Monday. But instead she sighed and said, "I like you, Bella, you seem strong."

I raised my eyebrows. Wow. Strong. Obviously that would be what Jess would go for given that she was a Groupie and all.

I felt the color drain from my face as I thought that. How could I call Jess a Groupie when I was the one sucking face with a Vamp? I tried to get my thoughts together; being a Groupie wasn't all about loving Vamps – and I didn't love Vamps, I only loved one – it was also about wanting to be one – which I didn't.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jess asked. "I'm really sorry for everything I've said before. It was mostly Lauren's idea, I swear."

"I'm fine," I said quickly, banishing my thoughts to a dark corner of my mind where I would dwell on them later. "I'm just surprised you're here that's all."

"I can move," she offered, obviously feeling uncomfortable. "I was just thinking with what happened at the Blood Bank…"

"We'd have a truce," I finished for her. She thinned her lips shyly and averted her gaze as though she had just realized how stupid it had sounded.

"Maybe I should just move…" she trailed off, taking my silence as annoyance.

"No," I said a little too quickly. "It's okay. I'm okay. I'm just a bit tired that's all. I'm feeling a bit slow today."

She sat back down in her seat where she had been half-standing and half-sitting, a look of relief on her face. I noticed she was wearing jeans and not one of the usual skirts that showed off her legs. Was this because Lauren wasn't in? Was the Jess I was used to seeing just a show?

Because the desks were spaced out individually, we got away with not talking for a while but after a bit a question I had wanted to ask Jess since the day I met her began clawing at my mind.

"Jess," I began hesitantly.

"Mmm?" She looked up, having been concentrating on sketching some sort of design I couldn't make out due to her pencil markings being so light.

"Why are you a Vamp Groupie?" I blurted out without even thinking.

She frowned; her perfectly plucked eyebrows pulled together and she pursed her glossed lips out in confusion. She suddenly made me conscious about my face until I remembered my scars. No amount of eyebrow plucking or lip-gloss could help _that_.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

I went over the words in my head and quickly changed them to, "Why do you want to be a Vamp?"

Her eyes widened. I didn't know if it was because she finally understood me or if she was just surprised I was asking.

"My parents think it's the best way forward," she admitted quietly in the end. "Lauren just wants the power but to my parents, me becoming a Vamp would be the greatest thing that ever happened to my family."

She smiled at me sadly and I returned her smile with one of sympathy. I thanked whatever unlikely God was up there that my parents weren't so pushy. It made me feel a lot more forgiving towards Jessica, this confession. She was just a sheep – no, a lamb. A lamb being controlled by not just the shepherding Vamps but her own parents.

(*)

I didn't see Edward until Thursday when I delivered his basket. I was starting to realize that the first full day without him always hurt but the ache was easier to deal with as the days went on. That didn't make me any less happy to see him though.

"Bella!" he cried, running from the house and over to my truck.

He was naked.

"Edward," I greeted, smiling awkwardly and averting my gaze. Thankfully – or should I be saying unthankfully? – his lower half was hidden by the door of my truck. "Where are your clothes?"

"I was changing when I heard your truck," he explained, trying to lean in through the window for a kiss. "I couldn't wait to see you."

I leant further away from him. "No kissing until you've put something on," I told him firmly. He looked like a puppy that had just been kicked but I was adamant about asserting my authority with him.

When I refused to back down, he raced back into the house but was back in the doorway by the time I got out the truck.

"Do I get a kiss now?" he asked impatiently, watching me set his basket down on the kitchen table. I tried not to smile and failed.

"Of course you do," I said, giving in.

He picked me up and carried me to the couch, our lips pressed together. It was just like every other time I visited him. But today he sensed my hesitation.

"You've got something to tell me," he said pulling away so there was actually some space between us on the couch. He sounded accusing.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind," I accused him back.

"I can't," he said anyway. "Your body language is telling me so."

I sighed. This was the reason I hadn't visited since Sunday. I wanted – no, needed – to get my head straight and think clearly about everything. I'd spent all week with Angela and now I was with Edward and I felt like I was being two-faced to them both. I needed to tell one or the other.

"I'm an Angel," I blurted.

Edward regarded me coolly. "I know," he said. "Alice told me."

"Damn it!" I cursed, realizing I had been worrying over nothing. "I wish Alice would butt out."

"She needed to tell me," Edward said, sticking up for his friend.

"Why?" I demanded. "Why would she need to interfere with my personal life?"

"Because she wanted to make sure I was ready to be with you; someone who wanted to kill Vampires," he said casually.

He might as well have slapped me; the way he was looking at me as though I'd been having some sort of affair and he had known yet was disappointed I had continued and not owned up. Had he been passing judgment on me this whole time?

"Edward…" I began, unsure what to even say.

"It's okay, Bella." He waved his hand dismissively. "No good will come out of the Association of Angels anyway."

"How do you know?" I asked. I was annoyed now; annoyed that I'd been worrying over nothing. Not only had Edward known about my involvement but he also couldn't care less.

"Because the only way we can die is at the hands of another Vampire," he explained. "Why do you think we've been going for this long?"

"Humans have been around for a long time too," I said defensively. "What's our secret then?"

"We need you for food," he replied as though he'd just told me it was going to rain this week.

I was really annoyed now, especially as he acted so casual about it all. I still don't know why I blurted it out to him like that but in the end I just went, "Werewolves can kill Vamps."

Edward's eyes turned cold, a look I hadn't seen since we had first met.

"Who told you that?"

"So it's true?"

"Bella, this is important!" He was yelling and I was involuntarily shrinking back into my seat. He noticed and his expression immediately softened. "I'm sorry," he said. "It's just that we don't like humans to know these things."

"Because they'll try to kill you?" I guessed, trying not to let it show how much he had frightened me.

Edward laughed a short humorless laugh. "No," he said, "Because they'll try to train one to kill us and werewolves are un-trainable."

"How do you know?" I asked, pushing my luck. "Have you tried it?"

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you promise me something?"

I assumed it would be to keep a secret so I eagerly said, "Yes," and waited patiently for him to tell me about what made the beasties so special to the Vamps.

"Don't ever ask me about the werewolves or our drinking habits again, please."

My heart sank but I had told him I would promise so I sighed, "Yeah," and we moved on to a lighter topic of what books we were reading.

(*)

Feeling as though I had Edward's blessing, I attended the Angels meeting as usual on Sunday. I was surprised to find the members chatting casually in the foyer of the church rather than sitting in the tiny, cold room round the back.

"What's going on?" I asked Angela, tearing her away from Ben for a brief moment.

"We're having a break," she informed me happily. "Dad thinks we deserve one after everything we've been doing."

"Been doing?" I asked. "What's that then?"

"Working!" Angela blurted a little too quickly. I got the impression that there was something she wasn't telling me but she had turned back to Ben before I could ask anything more.

Sighing, I made my way to the table beside the front door where there was a sort of buffet on. Mrs. Cope was there, piling her plate with chicken legs. She smiled when she saw me.

"Hello, Bella. How's school?"

"Fine," I said shrugging. I picked up a cupcake and began picking at it. I wasn't really hungry but I felt uncomfortable in this room full of people who I had only chatted to formally. I spotted Harry in the corner talking to the pastor and Bernard but I didn't approach him for fear he would be able to tell I knew about Sarah Black's death.

"Bella, I hope you don't mind me asking," Mrs. Cope began. I knew then that I really wasn't going to like what she was asking but I couldn't just walk away. That would be rude. "How did you get your scars?" she asked.

I resisted the urge to sigh. With anybody else I would have closed up but Mrs. Cope seemed like the grandmother of the group. She was so kind and warm-looking that I found myself not minding too much about answering her. Plus she looked like she really didn't know how I got them so it showed she wasn't really a gossiper. Something that earned my respect straight away.

"I was attacked by a beastie," I told her, "Back in Phoenix."

She gasped and held the hand that wasn't holding her plate to her heart. "Oh, dear!" she cried, genuinely shocked. "That must have been horrible!"

"It was," I nodded. "That's why I had to move here; I've been scented."

"Oh my." Mrs. Cope looked speechless. Then, ever so quietly, she mumbled, "I lost my husband to a werewolf."

I stood there, uncomfortable, and unsure what to say. "I'm sorry," I said eventually. "That must have been terrible."

"It was," Mrs. Cope agreed. There was a tone of bitterness in her voice and I could only imagine that the L.W.C had failed in their duties yet again. I didn't ask where Mrs. Cope and her husband had been at the time – I didn't want to know where else werewolves roamed around freely.

Mrs. Cope excused herself, her eyes slightly teary, and she moved on. I stood there, watching her go, wondering what her husband could have done to get himself killed by a werewolf, wondering how she felt to be the survivor.

"Bella!" James' voice reached me before he did. My mouth went suddenly dry and I fought to swallow the mouthful of cake. "How are you today?"

"Fine," I answered dryly. There was something about James that made my hairs stand on end – and not in a good way. The worst part was I didn't even know what made him so creepy to me. It wasn't like I even knew him well enough to make judgments.

"You know," he said casually. "Angela's been telling me you're getting real friendly with that Vamp at your school."

"What's that got to do with you?" I asked him coldly.

James laughed and held up his hands as though he was surrendering. "Whoa!" he said. "Easy, I was just making conversation. I am surprised though that you of all people would be talking to her. So tell me, what's your game plan?"

"Game plan?" I questioned. "James, I don't have a plan of any kind."

He leaned closer, so close that I could feel his breath on my face. For the first time I noticed how pretty his eyes were; they were a sort of green but had brown specks around the irises. They reminded me of the forest around Edward's home.

"Come on, Bella," he coaxed. "You can tell me anything you know?"

I glared at him.

"I mean, you have more reason than any of us to hate the Vamps," he went on. "They failed to protect you didn't they?"

His words made me think of the head of the Local Werewolf Control. He was a Vamp and he hadn't even looked bothered by the sight of me; by what that beastie did. To him it was all just a job; he couldn't care less. He threw words at me like 'carelessness' and 'simple-minded' and 'silly human'.

"Bella?"

James' voice brought me back to the present. I found myself standing there with my fists clenched; the cupcake wrapper pressed tightly against my fingers. I looked up at James to find him smiling as though he had finally gotten through to me.

"Not all Vamps are the same," I found myself telling him.

His eyes widened in surprise. "Well, Bella," he said gravely. "You've changed a lot since you first join us." He leaned closer to me again until his chin was practically resting on my shoulder. His breath tickled my ear unpleasantly. "I think it would be in your best interest to keep your new views to yourself."

I jumped back, surprised at how close James was getting to the truth. Did the fact that I was now more forgiving of Vamps show on my face? Just like the other day with Jess, I found myself reaching up and touching my mouth remembering Edward's kisses.

James watched my hand in a way I had only seen from Edward.

I tore my hand away and held my head up high as I said, "James, I think you should leave me alone. I have a boyfriend."

There was a gasp from somebody behind me and I turned to find Angela on her way over. She had heard and her expression was a mixture of shock and happiness. "Wow, Bella, you never told me," she said, rushing over and grabbing my arm. "What's he like? Who is he? Do I know him?"

I was aware of James watching me from over Angela's shoulder, his green eyes narrowed suspiciously. I felt he could see right through me. I felt he could read the thoughts and memories I had flying around my head; Edward admitting we were Mated; Edward and I kissing; Edward saving me from Tyler and Mike.

"You don't know him," I said, finding myself speaking to the both of them. "I met him online." That last bit was my get-out-of-jail free card. Both of them looked surprised.

"You want to be careful on the Internet, Bella," Angela told me sternly. "You never know who you might meet on the Internet."

"Exactly," James added coolly. "For all you know, he could be a Vamp." He left then, walking away from the two of us as Angela pestered me for details.

"You know, Angela," I said, interrupting her. "I don't feel too well. I think I'm just going to head home."

I managed to get to my truck a few minutes later after Angela had given me her sympathies and wishes for me to feel better. James had thoroughly freaked me out to the point where I did actually feel a bit sick.

On the way home, I stopped off at the Thriftway which was bursting with weekend-shoppers. I just wanted something to make me feel safe. The shop assistant looked surprised when I asked her for what I wanted but then she looked me over and pointed to Aisle Three. I picked it up and paid for it before driving home and depositing said object on my side table next to the bed.

Werewolves or no werewolves, the mistletoe gave me a feeling of comfort and reminded me of home.


	11. La Push Party

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**11. La Push Party**

The next week brought us into May and Edward was more than eager to take me outside instead of being cooped up in the house like we had been for the past few weeks. It was a dry day when I arrived at his place on Thursday and every now and again the sun would break free and reward us with a tiny glimpse of warmth.

The sun meant nothing as it was freezing compared to the Phoenix heat I was used to but I liked the way Edward's skin caught it. His body was like marble and it sparkled just like it when it hit the light. It reminded me of Christmas in a way. Because Phoenix never got snow, Phil and Renee would decorate the windowsill of our home with fake snow. It always sparkled unnaturally in the day when it caught the light of the sun.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked him, feeling as though we'd ventured further than necessary. I'd seen a few spots we'd passed that would have been perfect for a sit down but Edward was adamant that none of them were good enough.

"To a special place," he replied over his shoulder. Just as I'd thought he wasn't out of breath whilst I was practically dying. It wasn't a hot day but sweat dripped from my back as I struggled to keep up with him and dodge the tree roots and vines whilst doing so.

Edward stopped suddenly and I went barreling into him.

"Ouch!" I cried, rubbing my arm which had been the first to connect. It was like walking into a wall. "Damn, that hurt."

"Sorry," he apologized, turning round and helping me off the ground. "I was just going to suggest if you wanted a lift."

"A lift?" I questioned. "Driving a car through this? Are you mad? The road to your house is bad enough – it's not even a road!"

"No," Edward said patiently. "I meant do you want me to carry you?"

"I'm not a baby."

"I know you're not but if we go at my speed then we'll get there before nightfall."

"Are you calling _my _speed?" I demanded.

He smirked slightly. "Yes." I didn't have the energy to be mad though. I just laughed with him.

"Right, how are we going to do this then?"

"You can ride on my back," he said casually.

"A piggy-back ride?" I questioned. "How old do you think I am? Five?"

Edward sighed but I could tell he found my human ranting amusing by the way his lips tightened as though he was hiding a smirk.

"Alright, alright," I said. I grabbed the back of his shoulders and pulled myself up easily. However, I couldn't hold back a shriek when I felt his hands grab the underneath of my thighs.

"You okay?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine," I said, well aware of where he was touching me. "Well, get going, horsy!"

It wasn't a smooth ride. By the time we arrived at the clearing we had been heading for and Edward had put me down, I was coughing, nauseous and blind. Also I was struggling to breathe.

"Bella?" Edward asked worriedly.

"Bugs," I explained, spluttering very unladylike onto the grass. "In my eyes too." I started blinking rapidly. "And _nobody _can breathe when you go that fast!" I directed the last bit at him, still blinking and picking bugs from my teeth.

"Oh." He looked embarrassed, his picture flickering in front of me like a bad quality, grainy film. "Maybe next time you should tuck your head in my neck and I'll stop every once and a while to give you breathers?"

"That would be great, thanks," I said, finally bug-free. I fell down onto the grass, taking note at how beautiful this place was. "Where are we?"

"My meadow," he answered, dreamlike, as he sat next to me. "Do you like it?"

"Your meadow?" I repeated. "What? Did you buy it?"

"No," he admitted shyly. "But I'm the only one who knows it's here."

"Apart from me," I smiled.

"Apart from you," he agreed.

"It's lovely," I said, sliding over to be closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me as I leant against him, feeling content and relaxed.

Eventually we found ourselves lying down in the prickly grass, lips locked together once again. Being with Edward always left me wanting more. At one point he grabbed the hem of my shirt and I froze expecting him to go further. Instead, he let go and pulled away from me.

He wouldn't look at me for a while, just stared up at the grey sky. I decided to change the subject to make him feel more comfortable.

"I'm going to a party this Saturday," I said. "Jacob invited me."

"Who's Jacob?" Edward demanded immediately, turning his head towards me so fast it startled me.

"My friend in La Push," I explained. "He's a shifter."

Edward's eyes widened. "I wouldn't think you would want to be friends with them," he said suddenly.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because their Shape is a wolf," he explained casually.

"Have you ever seen a beastie, Edward?" I asked him.

He nodded, looking as though it was a painful memory though it definitely couldn't have been as painful as mine.

"They look nothing like wolves," I informed him, conjuring up the scary form in my head. "They have the fur, and the odd pointed ears but they walk on hind legs."

"Have you ever seen Jacob's Shape?" he asked me.

"Well, no, not yet," I replied awkwardly. "He says he hasn't Shifted yet."

"He might not do," Edward pointed out.

"I think he will," I said definitely. "Hey, they have a Mating thing too, you know? They call it Imprinting. That's what I'm going for; two of his friends have Imprinted."

Edward cocked an eyebrow in surprise.

"You didn't know?" I guessed.

"No, I knew. I'm just surprised you knew. They normally keep that sort of information to themselves."

"Really?" I asked. "Then how do you know?"

"I met a Shifter once," he explained, shrugging to show it was no big deal. "Tanya and I were travelling through the Amazon when we came across them. They were monkey shifters. We befriended most of the tribe."

"Most?" I questioned.

"Well, there are always a few who are a bit prejudiced aren't there?" Edward said, looking directly at me. I ducked my head, my cheeks flushing with shame.

"My point is," Edward continued, "Is that Jacob must be awfully friendly with you for him to have told you something like that."

"I don't know what you're implying, Edward," I told him, trying not to smile at the absurdity of it all. "But you can drop it. Jacob is a friend and that's all."

"Hmm," he said, clearly not convinced.

I giggled. He frowned at me as though he couldn't see anything to find funny.

"Edward," I sighed. "Look at me," I pointed to my scars, "Nobody is going to want me other than you and that's just because Fate pushed us together without giving us a choice."

"That's not true." Edward sat up and I sat up too. His posture told me he was very serious and I wiped the smile off my face. "Bella, you are beautiful."

I looked away into the furthest corner of the meadow, not confident enough to look into his eyes but he made me face him by pushing at my cheek with his icy fingers. His hand lingered over the scars there.

"I want to give you something," he said suddenly, reaching into his back pocket. I braced myself, wondering what on earth he was going to give me. "This was why I wanted us to go outside today so I could give you this."

He produced a simple silver band and held it out to me. I cocked an eyebrow. "Why, are you asking me to marry you?" I asked in a high, posh voice.

Edward smiled but I could tell he was nervous. "I was thinking the other day about how Vampires don't marry and humans don't really Mate. Since there's no way you can become a Vamp without us both being in danger and we can't exactly marry without the church having a heart attack, I thought I'd go for the halfway mark."

He took my hand and slipped the ring on.

"This isn't a marriage since we're not both human and there are no legal papers, and it isn't a Mating either since you're not going to be turned." He held up my hand in his. The sun peeked out of the cloud for a second, making the silver glint in the light. "So this is our own ceremony," he said, smiling. "The Edward-and-Bella one."

I laughed, gazing at the plain band on my ring finger.

"No gold?" I asked, feigning hurt.

"Silver is more useful in this world than gold," Edward replied.

I couldn't agree more.

(*)

By some miracle, the good weather held on for Saturday and Sam and Emily's party could be held outside. I arrived with Charlie who then made an immediate beeline for Billy and Harry who had obviously made a truce with each other. I watched him go, taking note of Harry looking pointedly at me. I had a feeling Charlie didn't know about Harry's involvement with the Angels either.

Heck, he didn't even know about _my _involvement with the Angels. As I was pondering on whether to tell him or not, Jacob came running over to me.

"Hey," he said, "Glad you could make it."

I looked Jacob over. He had on his usual attire of jeans and a hoodie with his hair tied back in a ponytail. After Edward's suspicions over the two of us – something I now put down to jealousy – I tried picturing Jacob differently. But I couldn't. To me, Jacob would always be a friend. Besides, he was too young for me.

Wow. That was a bit hypocritical coming from the one dating a Vamp nearly five times her age.

"Hey, Jake," I smiled.

"Come on," he said. "I want to introduce you to Sam and Emily."

The party was being held on a grass verge a couple of hundred meters from the windy beach. A barbeque was burning somewhere behind the tents that had been set up. Jacob led me to a tent now. It was the biggest one, a vast white canvas against a grey sky.

Upon entering, I knew exactly who the 'happy couple' was. Both Sam and Emily were dressed differently from the others; Sam was half-naked, wearing only a pair of shorts that looked to be made out of some animal hide; Emily wore a long tanned dress that, too, looked as though it fit in with the Native American culture.

"Sam, Emily," Jacob greeted, "This is Bella, Charlie's daughter."

I smiled shyly at the pair but my smile faded when Emily turned to face me full on. Three large slashes ran from her forehead to her chin on one side of her face. Sam seemed to notice my reaction as he exchanged a glance with Jacob who was next to me. I didn't see Jacob's reaction because I kept my eyes trained on Emily who was now frowning at me – but only with the muscles on one side of her face.

There was only one way I could think of how she got those scars. "Werewolf attack?" I blurted. "I thought they didn't come round here."

Emily's eyes flinched to Sam's face and then back at me quickly as though she realized her mistake.

I felt bile rise to my throat as I put two and two together.

"You did this?" I accused Sam, unaware that the rest of the people in the tent had fallen silent.

"Bella–" Jacob began. He went to grab my arm but I shoved him off.

"Compare those scars to mine!" I continued, raising my voice so I was yelling. "There's not much difference is there?"

I'd never seen a wolf shifter in their Shape but now I could only imagine it as the same as the werewolves; long putrid fur that choked your throat, harsh watery yellow eyes, long nails that were more like talons than claws.

"Bella, come on." Jacob was pulling at my arm, trying to get me to move. Sam looked livid but Emily kept a hand on his chest as though she was calming him down.

"Get off me!" I screamed at Jacob. "I thought you were different!" I was dangerously close to sobbing now. "So is this how it is then? Everything that's not human is a monster?"

"Humans can be monsters too," Sam said suddenly, glaring at me under heavy eyebrows. I held his gaze for a moment longer before turning on my heel and running out of the tent.

I could hear Jacob and Charlie calling after me but I ignored them. I didn't stop running until I was across the road and a few meters into the trees. There, I sat down and sobbed.

"Well, that was some show," a voice behind me said. I spun round, startled, to find a girl with the same skin tone as Jacob's looking down at me. She wore a crop top and ripped jeans. She sat down next to me. "I'm Leah," she introduced herself, "Leah Clearwater."

I sniffed and wiped my eyes on my sleeve, angry that I'd broken down. I'd just been so angry…

"Why are you here?" I asked her. "Your dad's over at the party."

Leah rolled her eyes. "I don't want anything to do with this Imprinting business," she said, spitting crudely on the ground. "It's a load of crap."

"You sound like you've been hurt by it," I accused her, glad of having a distraction from the monsters across the road.

"You could say that," she said. "Sam was my boyfriend before he saw Emily – my cousin. He left me for her."

"Ouch," I said.

"Yeah, I know," Leah said bitterly. "But apparently it wasn't his fault. It's the Imprinting you know? You can't control it." Her tone was sarcastic.

My stomach dropped as I realized their situation was becoming dangerously close to ours; to mine and Edward's and Tanya's.

"It's like Mating isn't it?" I said to fill the silence. "The Vamps can't control that either."

"Vamps?" Leah questioned, a smile in her voice. "I like it."

I grinned. "You don't like Vamps either?"

"I don't like anybody anymore," she said. "Even you're bugging me. You put on a show like that and then run away. Pathetic."

I didn't know what to say. In the end I ended up fiddling with my nails awkwardly.

"I've got news for you, princess," Leah said harshly, leaning forward until she was so close I could hear her whisper. "Everybody in this world is a monster – I don't care what species you are."

Then she got up and walked away in the direction parallel to the party. I sat there a moment longer, unsure what to do. In the end I realized there was nothing for it; I had to go back and apologize to everybody.

Sighing, I stood up and made my way back across the road. I found Sam and Emily first and apologized before I ran into Jacob whom I just threw my arms around.

"Hey, it's okay," Jacob said, returning the hug awkwardly. I saw Sam and Emily over his shoulder smiling at me. At least I hadn't ruined their day completely. "I explained everything to everybody. They all know what you went through now."

I wanted to tell him that my attack was no excuse for the way I behaved but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt I needed an excuse or I would continue to feel guilty for a long time.

The ceremony went without a hitch from then on. I didn't see Leah around again nor did I mention her to anybody. Even when I spent a few minutes with Charlie who was talking to Harry about going fishing sometime soon, I didn't hear Charlie or Harry mention her absence.

The ceremony itself was very much like a wedding; Emily and Sam had to speak certain vows in a language that had long since died out but still sounded magical. I wondered if anybody knew what the words meant anymore. It made me think of all the other ceremonies in the world.

Vamps didn't really have one; they found their Mate and that was it, sometimes their Mate was a Vamp and sometimes they weren't. The closest to a ceremony they got was their human Mate becoming a Vamp. Werewolves tended to live amongst the humans and they usually never married anyway – too risky. Shape shifters varied as much as humans did; each group had their own history, their own beliefs.

After the ceremony, Charlie and I were getting into the truck when I saw something move in the trees over the road. In the dimming light – if I strained my eyes hard enough – I could see a figure stood between the trees, watching us. It was a woman, a small but thin and elegant woman with long flowing blonde hair and skin so pale it could only mean one thing. She was a Vamp. I wanted to ask Charlie which one she was – I had yet to meet the third female, Rosalie – but something in the way she glared at me made the words catch in my throat. I knew who she was without even knowing how I knew. Even from here I could tell her eyes were a golden color rather than the usual red. It had probably come from her drinking the blood of animals since she was no longer part of the community and didn't qualify for human blood. She was in hiding – just like Edward.

Tanya.


	12. The Vamps of Forks

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**

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******

12. The Vamps of Forks

That night I dreamed of the party again. Only Sam and Emily weren't as forgiving about my tantrum as they had been. They watched Tanya attack me.

I woke up in a cold sweat with my sheets tangled around my legs. It was early morning, Charlie had already gone fishing with Harry and Billy, and the house was too silent. I feared making a move in case somebody was watching me and, upon hearing the creak as my foot pressed against the floorboards, they would pounce.

Shaking my head, I got over my paranoia and climbed out of bed. I brushed my hair with my fingers as I pulled on some jeans and the first shirt I could find. I needed to see Edward and I needed to see him now.

When I'd gotten home from the party, I'd decided not to call Edward or visit seeing as it was rather late and I wasn't sure whether the person I had saw was Tanya or not. But the dream made it all real for me; I had to find out if it was Tanya because – if it was – I had a feeling my life was in danger.

I knew the Volturi wouldn't allow for the casual killing of humans – if they did then the human race and their food source would slowly die out – but I wouldn't put it past Tanya. I didn't even know her but I was basing her personality off Leah Clearwater's – the third party in a similar triangle to ours.

Edward was surprised to find me on his doorstep so early.

"What is it?" he asked urgently, already fearing the worst – whatever that would have been.

"I think I saw Tanya," I told him, my voice shaking slightly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house before gripping me by the shoulders and making me face him.

"When?" he demanded.

"At the party yesterday," I answered. "I think it was her anyway; blonde, gold eyes, Vamp."

Edward mulled this over before letting me go and marching up the stairs. It suddenly dawned on me, as I rolled my slightly aching shoulders, that I'd never been upstairs in Edward's house before.

He returned in seconds, thrusting an old photograph at me. It was in color but the tones were dull with creases and folded corners. In the picture was a woman standing beside a tree. The background was unimportant, it was as if the sole purpose of the picture was the woman herself. She was smiling at the camera but she looked sad at the same time too. Sad and beautiful – just like the woman I saw the day before.

"That's her," I said.

Edward swore. I raised my eyebrows.

"Sorry," he said hurriedly. His eyes flitted from mine to the door quickly. I could almost hear the cogs turning in his mind – at a hundred times faster than a human's – as he thought. "Bella, would you mind coming to the hotel with me?"

"What?" I asked. I hadn't been expecting this at all. I'd simply thought Edward and I would talk it over by ourselves – on his couch where we always sat.

"The hotel," he explained rather impatiently. If he wasn't a Vamp I would have thought he was going to pee his pants. "I need to talk to the others."

The others? My heartbeat rose in panic as I thought of being in the same room with all the other Vamps of Forks.

"Bella, it will be okay," Edward promised me, sensing my discomfort. I also noticed his discomfort from hearing my racing heart. His lips thinned and his eyes darkened.

"Okay, let's go," I said, anything to keep his mind off his thirst and the fact he hadn't tasted human blood in years. "Do we need to warn them?" I asked stupidly. "So they can sneak you in through the back door or something?"

"Alice will see us coming," he explained off-handedly.

And without further ado I jumped onto his back and he ran to the edge of Forks were the hotel stood. It was a tall, thin building with the words _Vampire Hotel – catering for those who don't sleep _imprinted on a plaque over the front door.

"That's a good point," I muttered as Edward led me inside to a large foyer. "What do Vamps need a hotel for if they can't sleep?"

"Hotel was used because of its familiarity with humans," a voice explained from behind me. I turned to find a woman I'd never seen before coming down the stairs. At first I thought it was Tanya but on closer inspection I realized she was a lot prettier than Tanya. I cast a sideways glance at Edward, wondered what would have happened if he'd met _her _under the Christmas tree back in Chicago 1918. "It also gives humans reassurance as to where Vampires are at night. It seems they'll never trust us – not fully. Well, why should they?" She smiled at me, her red lips parting to reveal her sharp white teeth.

"Bella, this is Rosalie McCarty," Edward introduced us. "Rosalie, this is Bella."

"Pleased to meet you," Rosalie smiled, offering her hand. I shook it, feeling bulky and awkward next to her elegant form. "Edward has told us all about you." She smirked at him before looking back at me. "I believe we're going to get along very well."

"Oh?" was all I said, hoping she would elaborate. I couldn't see what Rosalie and I would have in common but she also wasn't the sort of person I would have liked to make an enemy with.

Neither Rosalie nor Edward elaborated though as just at that moment we were joined by more people. I recognized Alice and Dr. and Mrs. Cullen but I didn't recognize the fourth. He had brown curly hair and was extremely well-built. He reminded me of a young man who used to live on my street in Phoenix. I remember Renee always pestering me to talk to him. She said I could do with someone like that for a husband – he would be strong and protect me.

On this trail of thought, I looked up at Edward who was staring at his family with the same urgency as he had stared at me before. I wondered what Renee would think of him.

"Tanya's here," Edward said plainly.

"I told you this would happen, Edward," Alice said before seeming to notice me. "Bella! How rude of me! Allow me to introduce you to Emmett, Rosalie's husband." The brown curly haired guy waved and smiled and all intimidation I had felt from him faded in an instant. "And you've met Esme and Carlisle," Alice went on, her gaze growing slightly frosty.

"Carlisle!" I blurted suddenly, remembering my rudeness to him back at the hospital. "I am so sorry about…" He held up a hand and I trailed off awkwardly.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," he said. "I completely understand." He turned to his family. "Shall we go and sit down? I think Bella would prefer it to standing."

In silent agreement we moved from the grand foyer to another, larger room. Two dozen tables were set out, a board game on every one but they were all empty of players. Carlisle led us to the largest, quickly deposited the game of chess on another table, and we all sat around it.

"Now, where to begin?" he wondered aloud. I knew by the way he sat at the head of the table that the other Vamps looked up to him. It seemed odd. Like these Vamps worked in some sort of family dynamic.

"Tanya," Edward prompted but Carlisle shook his head.

"I meant more about Bella's introductions to the family," Carlisle said to Edward. "I understand your concern over Tanya's visit but I feel Bella would feel more a part of this if she knew more about us."

I blanched. Wow. It was like a family welcoming.

"I'll start!" Alice declared. "Bella, I am your Art teacher and I am married to Jasper Whitlock who is currently lecturing in Canada and so only visits on weekends." I raised my eyebrows. Holy crap; there was another one of them.

"You already know my story," Edward whispered into my ear. I shivered involuntarily much to my embarrassment. The others ignored it however.

"Emmett?" Carlisle prompted. He seemed to know what he was doing and I turned to look at Emmett with the rest of the family before gasping and recoiling.

"Werewolf attack," Emmett answered, oblivious to my rude reaction. What I hadn't noticed under the dim light of the foyer, I noticed under the lamp above the table. Emmett had scars like mine; lots of them all over his face. Though they were slightly faded, they were still visible and slightly grotesque.

Rosalie leaned toward him and kissed his cheek.

"Sorry," I said hurriedly, trying to recover.

Emmett smiled – no, _beamed_. "Don't worry about it," he said. "The venom makes them fade but they're always there; got my right eyesight back though." He said it as though it was a bonus, tapping the right side of his temple.

"Venom?" I questioned.

A look of panic crossed Emmett's face before Carlisle cleared his throat uncomfortably. Luckily for him, Edward stepped in to explain.

"You know like I said before that there are some things I would rather not tell you?" he said gently.

"This is one of them," I finished for him. "Right. Okay. Never mind."

But the word 'venom' was playing on my mind. I made a mental note to ask Edward about it later – when we were alone – anyway. Alice caught my eye and gave me a small knowing smile.

"What I was trying to do there, Bella," Carlisle said, taking the reins once again, "Was to let you know that you can feel comfortable around us. We were all human once."

"What happened?" I asked Emmett, not ready to let this go. I'd never met another werewolf victim before. Most of them became one or died before they got to the hospital.

"I was an idiot," Emmett said, shrugging.

"What do you mean 'was'?" Edward interrupted.

Emmett shot him a glare that clearly said _I'll get you later_. "I stayed out in the woods too long into the full moon and one of them caught me."

"Oh my god," I gasped. I pictured it in my head, replacing Emmett with me; alone in the woods, miles from home, nobody to save me. "How did you survive?" I blurted.

"I didn't in a way," Emmett hedged. "At least, not human. Rosalie stumbled across me and turned me before I died."

"I felt the pull," Rosalie smiled, entwining her fingers with Emmett's. "It was morning and I found him mangled and bleeding to death on the floor. The werewolf was nowhere to be seen."

My stomach turned as I realized once they'd turned back into human form, Emmett's attacker had walked off and left him to die.

"But isn't it illegal to turn someone that way?"

Emmett chuckled. "Yeah and it nearly got us both killed when the Volturi found out."

I raised my eyebrows and glanced at Edward, wondering how he could be chuckling at something like that. Edward just shrugged. I had a feeling Emmett's humor would take some getting used to.

"But we proved he was my Mate," Rosalie continued. "They let us off…eventually."

I was impressed, impressed that Rosalie would risk so much to be with her Mate, impressed at Emmett for laughing when the world was so cruel.

"So, Tanya?" Edward said impatiently.

"You have nothing to worry about, Edward," Carlisle said calmly. "What do you think will happen?"

"She'll come after Bella."

Though I'd been thinking that myself, I hadn't expected Edward to be worrying over it too. My eyes widened in panic.

"Stop it," Carlisle said sternly. "You're scaring Bella for no reason; what is your real worry?"

Edward looked at me and sighed, grazing my cheek with his index finger. He spoke to me whilst he answered Carlisle. "That her visit means the Volturi are going to be checking up on us and I have to pretend to be with her."

I tried to keep my anger from welling up inside me at the thought of Edward with Tanya again. I knew I couldn't let my emotions rule me; this was a game of survival. If the Volturi realized Edward and Tanya had lied to them then they would kill them both.

"You did it the last decade when they came," Carlisle pointed out. My stomach twisted again uncomfortably in disgust.

"That was before I found Bella," Edward said, wrapping an arm around my waist. "I don't think I can pretend anymore."

"But you have to," Esme began, sounding like she was pleading.

"The Volturi show no mercy, Edward," Rosalie said coldly. Her elegant expression had hardened. "You'll die if they find out."

"No!" I cried involuntarily, clutching Edward's shirt as though I could keep him with me forever. "Can't we hide?"

The Vamps exchanged an uncomfortable glance.

"One member of the Volturi is extremely Gifted in…tracking," Alice informed me gently when nobody else would. "Through him they check up on all Mated Vamp couples every decade since their Mating."

"Oh god," I muttered.

"Edward, perhaps we are best to continue this without Bella listening," Carlisle said gently. I looked at him, ready to argue, but he added, "There's nothing to worry about. Edward can tell you the full story later but if you carry on hearing tidbits then you'll only worry more."

I reluctantly agreed and all the Vamps left the table apart from Rosalie. I noticed Edward casting her a warning glare as he left the room and I remembered he could read the minds of the people around me.

"I'll be there in a minute," she called to them.

When it was just her and me in the room she said, "I also understand what you're going through, Bella."

I looked at her in surprise, unable to see any mark upon her face let alone a grotesque scar. She smiled sadly as though reading my mind, "Not in the same way Emmett can, no, but I also share a dislike for…Vamps."

My jaw dropped and she hurried to correct herself. "Not all the Vampires," she said, careful not to use the insult she had let slip. "But some of them, yes."

We sat in silence for a few minutes as she let me soak in her confession, and I pondered on what could make her dislike her own species.

"It's not that unusual if you think about it," Rosalie said off-handedly. "I'm sure there are some humans that you hate."

"There are," I agreed. "But I've always thought Vamps stuck together."

She was the only Vamp I ever met who didn't flinch at the insult. She took it in her stride, her ruby eyes passive under her porcelain lids.

"Did one of them hurt you?" I asked.

Rosalie's smile turned bitter. "You could say that." She sighed. "Bella, I want you to know that some of us didn't want this life."

I raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"I'm serious," Rosalie continued, irked by my reaction. "Only Esme, Carlisle and Jasper Qualified. Emmett was turned to save his life, Edward was infatuated, Alice was seen as having a potential Gift and turned against her will, and me…" She trailed off, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. It would have made her look human had she not done it so dramatically. "My family picked this life for me."

Her cold confession reminded me of Jessica, of how her parents wanted her to get a VQA. I looked at Rosalie and tried to picture her as Jess. I imagined Jess telling the same story to another human girl in the future; the story of how her family forced her into this retched life.

"In the 1930s, I lived in New York with my family and we were the richest humans around." She smiled fondly. "The richest humans who weren't Qualified, of course. For some reason we were liked by the Vampires of the city. It was only later on that I realized why; we did well for ourselves without being a threat to the Vampire Community. They could enjoy our company knowing we would be dead and gone in a few decades and they could move on."

"You were friends with Vamps?" I whispered, surprised.

"As friendly as humans could get," she said bitterly before adding with a smirk, "Barring you and Edward, of course." I blushed. "Well, it was mostly my parents," she continued. "However, there was one Vampire that took an interest in me." Her gaze hardened. "His name was Royce and he moved to the city in 1933. He impressed my parents with stories of the Volturi though I know now he never so much as entered Italy let alone worked for them." She thinned her lips, making it clear the Volturi were an issue with her. "He wanted to claim me as his own and my parents wanted a Vampire in the family so he turned me."

"Just like that?" I asked, surprised. "So isn't your situation the same as Edward's?"

"Not exactly," Rosalie smiled at my panic. "He turned me right at the dinner table in front of my parents who alerted the other local Vampires. My situation was forgiven and I was allowed to continue living though Royce wasn't. I think that's why they let me off for turning Emmett. They owed me seeing as they had let me down as a human. I could have started a rebellion, I was so angry, but I didn't – I went quietly. I kept my situation a secret so as not to start a panic amongst the other humans."

"Oh my god," I breathed. "So they just let you go?"

"Yes," Rosalie nodded. "I've always thought of myself as lucky when it comes to the Volturi though Carlisle thinks they have only forgiven me because they want me."

"What for?" I asked, totally interested in Rosalie's story now.

A look of panic crossed her face just as it had done when Emmett had mentioned venom. I sighed. "Okay, you can't tell me. I get it."

Rosalie laughed, a beautiful sound, before Alice poked her head round the door.

"Rose, we need you," she said.

"Perfect timing, Alice, as usual," Rosalie smiled at her friend. "I'll see you later, Bella," she said to me as she rose from the table. "It really was a pleasure meeting you."

And then she was gone and I was alone in the Games Room – as I had now decided to call it.

At least I was alone for a few minutes.

"You're human," an accusing voice from the doorway said. I turned to find a female Vamp with long red hair looking at me, a delicate frown on her baby-faced features. She looked to be in her late teens at the very oldest.

"Yes I am," I replied awkwardly. "I'm…waiting for somebody."

"A Vampire?" she asked, suddenly sitting opposite me on the large table.

I nodded and then said, "I'm Bella by the way."

It was odd how Forks had changed me. Normally I would have never have thought to give my name voluntarily to a Vamp. I'd always imagined them asking for my blood at the Blood Bank or keeping tabs on my descendants when I was dead and gone. Now it felt rude not to give my name.

"Victoria," the woman answered with a small smile. "So, you're comfortable about keeping company with so many Vampires then? Are you a Follower?"

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Sorry, let me rephrase." Victoria smiled apologetically. "Do you wish to become a Vampire in the future?"

"Oh," I said, realizing the Vamps had their own phrase for Groupies. "No," I said quickly. "I'm just…friends with some." I felt sweat drip down my back. Could she tell I was lying? Could she tell I was Mated?

"So you think that humans and Vampires can get on even if said human isn't exactly…a Follower?" she asked urgently. I looked at her, unsure what to say, unsure what she was even talking about. "I'm sorry, Bella," she said, blinking. "It's just that I find myself in a very difficult position and I don't know anybody whom I could turn to."

"Oh," I said. "Well, I'm sure Alice or Rosalie can help you." I almost mentioned Edward's name but caught myself, horrified at the thought I'd almost given him away.

"But they're not human," Victoria argued. "They won't be able to help as you would."

"I don't see how I can help," I said, praying for Edward to come back so we could go back to his.

"I'm Mated," Victoria blurted suddenly. "I'm Mated to a human who's not a Follower and I don't know what to do."

I gaped, feeling nauseated at how similar her situation was to mine and Edward's.

"Erm, well can't you appeal to the Volturi to turn him?"

"He doesn't want to be turned." She sounded like she was going to cry. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"If he really loved you then he'd turn," I said, the words like poison in my mouth. I really loved Edward but I wasn't willing to turn for him even if it was possible.

Victoria laughed harshly. "I wish James was around to hear that."

I gave her a sad smile and was about to make an excuse to leave when what she had said dawned on me. "What did you say his name was?"


	13. Parental Inquiry

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**

* * *

******

13. Parental Inquiry

"Bella, I've checked the records again," Charlie sighed, making his way into the kitchen where I was patiently waiting. "And there is only one James in Forks."

"That can't be right," I disagreed.

"Well it is," Charlie replied casually, hunting for a beer in the fridge. "And I'm not going to check them again – I've already risked my job enough as it is."

"Sorry, Dad," I said meekly.

"What do you want to know for anyway?"

I shrugged, and then sighed. I couldn't see the point of keeping this a secret anymore.

"Dad, I'm an Angel," I blurted.

He turned to face me, unopened can of beer in hand. "What did you just say?" he demanded, marching over and taking a seat opposite me at the kitchen table. That wasn't what I had been expecting. I'd thought he would have just shrugged and said, "Well of course you are, sweetheart," and left it at that. But it sounded like he knew what I was talking about.

"I'm in the Association of Angels," I said, stuttering slightly in surprise. "Do you know what that is?" I asked after a beat of silence.

"I do," Charlie said, nodding gravely. "It's the very same thing Harry and Billy almost killed each other over."

As if it had been waiting for this cue, my mind flipped back to the time I visited Jacob when Harry and Billy were arguing.

"I take it Billy doesn't approve…" I trailed off.

"Billy thinks it's pointless," Charlie said. "He thinks nothing good will come out of it. What he was most annoyed about was the reason behind it all."

"Sarah," I said without thinking.

"You know?" Charlie asked surprised, cocking a heavy eyebrow.

"Angela told me," I said. "Her dad runs it."

"Why are you in it, Bells?"

"Because I hate Vamps," I said. But the words felt wrong now, they burnt my tongue. I didn't hate _all _Vamps – just a lot of them.

"You'll get yourself killed if the Vampires find out, Bells," he said gravely. "Maybe not by the Vampires of this town but it only takes a nomad passing through to sniff you out…"

"I have to do it though, Dad," I said, trying to get him to understand. "Like you said it's pointless, no good will come out of it, but it makes me feel better." I sighed. "It's more of a friendship group than anything."

"I don't want you in it."

"You don't exactly sound like you're forcing me to leave either," I pointed out.

Charlie sighed, took a swig of his beer, and explained, "I don't want you to feel like you don't have a choice. I've seen you, Bells, you hate the Vampires because you think they control you and you want to make your own choices."

I stared at him, partly surprised and partly embarrassed. Was I really that obvious? I must have been.

"I want you to make the choice to leave, Bella," Charlie said. "I want you to be grown up and mature about this and choose the right thing."

I stared at him, realizing I wanted nothing more than to make Charlie happy. He was risking so much for me and he had already done so much. But I couldn't. Not when I'd just discovered James' little secret.

"I'm sorry, Dad," I sighed. Charlie leaned back in his chair, sighing in disappointment. "I promise as soon as I get the first wind of trouble then I'll leave but for now I need to stay."

"I had a feeling you would say that," Charlie muttered. "I've already asked Harry to keep an eye on you."

"Has Billy forgiven Harry?" I asked, wanting to know and desperate to change topic.

Charlie rose from his seat and stretched. I could feel the disappointment radiating from him and vowed to make it up to him some time later.

"For joining the Angels? Yes. For dragging up memories of Sarah's death? No."

"Do you think Billy will ever tell Jacob how his mom died?"

"No," Charlie said suddenly, glaring at me. "That boy's got enough on his plate without him having a hatred for Vampires."

"Why?" I asked. "What's happened to Jacob?" I began to worry. Last time I had checked, Jacob had had nothing to worry about.

"Billy says his temperature's rising. It won't be long until he shifts."

"Well, that's a good thing isn't it?" I asked.

Charlie drained his can and threw it in the trashcan on his way to the kitchen window. He stood there, hands on hips, staring out onto the small yard.

"Jacob will be changing species," he said, not looking at me. "You may think they have it easy, Bells. You may think that everybody who changes from being human is betraying their kind but–"

"Shape shifters can't help it," I said. "I know that, Dad." I couldn't argue with him on that point when it came to Vamps and werewolves though – well, except in Rosalie McCarty's case.

"All I'm saying, Bella," Charlie said, and I felt as though his lecture was finally reaching its end, "Is that you need to start keeping your opinions to yourself or you're going to get hurt. You're eighteen this year. Are you going to Qualify?"

"No," I answered immediately. "I couldn't even if I wanted to. My grades aren't good enough."

"Well then, that's all the more reason to keep quiet about things isn't it?" Charlie said, finally turning to face me. "You're a good kid, Bella, but I think you need to start being more accepting of the world around you."

"I will," I sighed, tired. "Is that it then? The lecture is over?" I was dying to get to my room and mull over the whole James-and-the-redhead-Vamp situation. But it seemed Charlie had only given me said lecture because he needed to prepare me for something greater.

"The only reason I'm telling you this, Bella," he said, reaching into a kitchen drawer and pulling out a large, brown envelope, "Is because this came a few days ago." He threw the envelope on the kitchen table and I noticed it was sealed with Volturi's Crest. I backed away from the thing as though it was poison, my chair scraping against the kitchen floor.

"I've been trying to figure out how to tell you, Bella," Charlie sighed, opening the envelope for me. "But there's no other way around it. Do you want to read it or shall I?"

I didn't answer but stared at the piece of paper from the envelope that Charlie now held in his hand. "I don't want to hear it in their fancy language," I almost spat. "Just tell me, Charlie."

He sighed and threw the envelope and paper back on the desk.

"Your mom and Phil aren't going to be released."

I knew this was coming. Even before I came to Forks I knew they wouldn't let them go. Sure, they hadn't killed the beastie but it had been their intention. Of course the Vamps wouldn't let them go.

"The Arizonian Vampire Council want you to go and clear out the house," Charlie continued. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I didn't cry. I just stood there, numb and angry. All the respect I'd built up for Vamps whilst staying here was now gone. They were nothing but controlling leeches.

"The thing is, Bella," Charlie said in a voice that couldn't have held more sympathy even if it tried, "I can't go with you. I can't get the time off work."

I felt my stomach drop in panic. "I can't go on my own," I whispered. "Oh god, don't make me go there on my own!"

"Bella, there's nothing I can do," Charlie said, his voice screaming apologies. "Maybe you can ask Angela or another of your friends to go with you."

And just like that the panic faded. It didn't go completely but it was certainly dulled as an idea came to mind.

Edward. Edward could take me. Yes, he himself was a bloodsucking controlling leech but he loved me and I had no option but to love him back. He could go with me and he would protect me. I was sure he would.

"Dad, there's something I need to tell you," I said slowly.

Charlie looked at me in concern. I was doing him no good, revealing two very big secrets in less than an hour, but I needed to tell him. I needed to let him know that I would be safe when I returned to the werewolf-infested desserts of Phoenix, Arizona.

"I'm Mated."

Charlie's expression fell. It went from confused to…nothing. He wasn't even shocked. He couldn't even sum up an emotion.

While he was effectively mute, I continued, "His name is Edward Masen and you don't know him because he's in hiding. But I met him through my Art teacher – that Vamp, Alice Whitlock – and…well, we're Mates."

"In…hiding?" Charlie finally managed to stutter.

"You're missing the point, Dad," I sighed impatiently. "The fact is, he's a Vamp and he'll do anything to protect me. He could come with me, he'd look after me."

"But…you hate…Vamps," Charlie muttered, his frown so deep I was afraid it would stick. "How can you be Mated and still…"

"I don't know," I interrupted. "I just know that Edward is my Mate and there's nothing I can do about it. But don't you see? I can use this to my advantage!"

"Oh god, Bella," he muttered, slowly sinking into a kitchen chair. "How come I never knew about this?"

"I didn't know how to tell you," I admitted. "I hate it as much as you do."

"I don't hate it," he muttered. "I was just surprised."

"You don't hate it?" I questioned.

"No." Charlie managed a smile. "I'm actually happy for you, Bella. Don't you see? This is your ticket out of here."

I stared at him, shocked. "Haven't you been listening to me?" I asked. "I don't want to be a Vamp!"

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "I thought that was just because you couldn't get the grades. Bella, being a Vampire would give you a better life – a never-ending one at that. I think I speak for both me and your mother when I say it's what we've wanted for you since you were born."

"Don't!" I cried. "Just don't. How can you say that?"

"I'm not stupid, Bella," Charlie sighed. "I know how much you hate them but maybe if you become one of them then it won't be as bad. You could do anything you wanted then, Bells! All you have to do is go to the Volturi with Edmund–"

"Edward."

"–Edward and claim you're Mated and then…" He trailed off, unsure how to put it. None of us knew how humans became Vamps. Instead he just said, "And then they'll turn you!"

"It's not that simple though, Dad," I sighed impatiently.

"Why not?" Charlie frowned.

"I think Edward would be better off explaining it himself."

The next day, I dropped off Edward's basket as usual and told him everything. He went from being sympathetic over my mother's life sentence to being excited – yes, actually, excited – over meeting my father.

"He's not going to like you," I told him bluntly as we climbed into my truck on our way to my house.

"How do you know?" Edward asked, clearly not caring or believing me.

"Because you're basically going to tell him that you're in danger from the Volturi and that means I'm in danger too which he won't like," I explained patiently. "Speaking of which, are you ready to tell me what the plans are about the Volturi visit?"

"They're coming this winter," Edward answered stiffly. "Alice foresaw them coming. There will be snow on the ground."

"A white Christmas, great," I said unenthusiastically. "So, for the Holidays I have to make myself scarce whilst you and Tanya shack up." The truck lurched slightly as I hit the gas too hard in my anger.

Meanwhile, Edward cringed against his door. "You know if I didn't have to do it I wouldn't."

"Hmm," was all I said to that.

Pulling up outside my house, I realized Charlie wasn't home yet.

"Edward, can I ask you something about the Angels?" I said suddenly.

He frowned at me in the darkness. "I thought you were the expert in that field," he said a little sourly.

"No, I mean do all the Vamps in Forks know about them?"

"Yes."

"But they haven't tried to kill us," I pointed out.

"Because, like I said before, it's a pointless thing," Edward mumbled. "They won't succeed in anything so we just let them be, let them dream."

"You know if you could reassure Charlie with that it would earn you some bonus points," I said, leaning against him.

He was in a sour mood as he always was whenever I brought up Tanya or the Angels. However, upon hearing the possibility of earning bonus points, he beamed.

"Come on," I said. "He'll be home soon."

My head was aching when I got in. The lights in the kitchen were too bright and Edward's constant fussing over whether he should let Charlie speak first was annoying me.

I had too much to think about; James, the Angels, my visit to Phoenix, Tanya, the Volturi. I felt like my head was going to explode and wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and lie down.

That wasn't possible, however, as Charlie came in a few minutes later. I don't even remember what Edward and I had been talking about. But I do know that an eerie silence fell over us the minute Charlie stepped through the door.

My heartbeat raced with every footfall I heard coming down the hall. Edward and I sat at the kitchen table, our hands clasped under the chipped wooden surface.

Charlie's eyes widened when he saw him just as they had done when he'd seen my scarred face for the first time. I realized I hadn't thought to warn him about Edward's unusual eye color.

"Chief Swan," Edward said politely, standing up and dropping my hand.

"Edward," Charlie said warily, stepping forward and shaking his hand. "Please call me Charlie."

"I understand you have a lot of questions to ask me, Charlie," Edward said as the two of them sat down.

I hadn't moved. I stared at the corner of the kitchen and thought of my home in Phoenix – the one I would be visiting for the last time in a matter of days. They seemed to notice my reluctance to talk and so they had their own conversation, their voices sounded so far away.

"I do," Charlie agreed. "Do you know Dr. Cullen and the others?"

"I do," Edward said, I could hear the smile in his voice. "They're like family to me."

"Really? How are they doing?"

I resisted the urge to smile. It was so like Charlie to start a conversation like this, so off-topic.

"They're doing fine, thank you," Edward answered politely.

And so it began.

Edward explained to Charlie about drinking animal blood instead of getting human blood from the Blood Bank. He explained he did this because he was in hiding; if the Volturi found out he wasn't with Tanya then they would kill him. A wrong Mating years ago had left him with no choice but to hide for the rest of his eternal life. It also meant I couldn't become a Vamp through the Mating Law because, in the books, Edward was already Mated.

"Bloody hell," Charlie breathed when Edward had finished explaining. "And if the Volturi found out about Bella…?"

Edward shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "The Volturi can be quite forgiving of humans based on the fact they believe they are of low intelligence and have no idea what they are doing."

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "I would object to that if it didn't save my daughter's life," Charlie said chuckling. Edward laughed a little too. A morbid silence fell over the room. "But they'd kill you wouldn't they, son?" Charlie asked with more seriousness.

I turned to look at them. Son?

"Yes they would," Edward answered as if the sudden paternal feeling Charlie was admitting was an everyday thing.

Charlie exhaled loudly. "Wow," he said. "And to think just yesterday morning I thought Bella was the school nun."

"Dad!" I exclaimed.

He held his hands up. "I didn't mean any harm, Bells, I was just joking. So what's all this got to do with that James guy?"

It was Edward's turn to look over at me, his frown caught between confusion and anger.

"It's got nothing to do with…him," I answered, begging Edward to ignore the subject. "I just thought it would be useful for Edward to come with me to Phoenix."

Charlie nodded, seeing my point.

"Right, okay," he said then sighed. "You do know under any other circumstances I wouldn't be happy with this whole arrangement?"

"What circumstances?" I asked. "Mom being in jail or Edward being a Vamp?" An uncomfortable silence fell over the table. I sighed, "Sorry, Dad. I'm just tired and stressed out."

"How will this trip work anyway?" Charlie asked, ignoring my outburst. "Surely there's a chance that the Volturi monitor airports. What if somebody sees Edward with you and not this other girl?"

"Tanya," I reminded him.

"We wouldn't be able to travel by airplane," Edward informed him. "I'd carry Bella and we'd run to Arizona."

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "I know you guys are fast but do you ever get tired?"

"No," Edward smiled, shaking his head. "We only use humans transport to blend in."

"And because you invented most of it," I added wryly. Edward looked at me and shrugged.

"That sounds great, Edward," Charlie said. "But I don't want my baby girl to be sleeping out in the wild."

"We could stay in cheap motels," I offered. Charlie seemed to hate that idea more.

"Or we could bring camping gear," Edward compromised. "Nothing would get past me to hurt her, sir, I promise."

Charlie regarded Edward for a while before shrugging. "Alright then," he said. "I suppose it would do you some good to have some company there too, Bells."

I nodded, my throat closing up again at the thought of my mother and Phil in jail, of how empty and cold the house was going to be.

Edward kissed me chastely on the forehead before Charlie showed him out.

"That kid's got it bad for you," Charlie said when he came back into the kitchen.

I nodded, unable to speak. I was angry again, angry at the Vamps who had decided there was nothing wrong with keeping my mother in jail for the rest of her life. Phil was the one who had shot at it! Life was so unfair.

"What are you going to do, Bella?" he asked. "What's going to happen to him when you die of old age?"

I looked at Charlie in surprise. It wasn't often he thought so deeply into things. Then I realized he was just looking out for me, wanted to know what my future had in store. It seemed he now had a soft spot for Edward too after everything he'd been through.

"I don't know," I sighed. "But I definitely won't become one of them," I said, sounding like I was promising him. I thought of the Vamps on the Arizonian Council. "They're nothing but filthy controlling leeches," I spat. "I'd rather die than become one of them."

There was a loud crash outside. I jumped to my feet, racing Charlie down the hall to see who it was. I opened the front door to find shards of a plant pot strewn over the porch and Edward's form retreating into the dark forest.


	14. Mistletoe

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**

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******

14. Mistletoe

That night I dreamt James was a werewolf who turned at full moon and attacked me. Edward stood right next to him, watching. He didn't try to help at all.

Instead of waking up with a cry as I usually did during a nightmare, I woke up casually but determined. I knew now that Edward had heard every word I had said the night before and I needed to make things right with him.

Especially since we only had about a month to clear out the house in Phoenix and I felt the need to get it over with as soon as possible. When I'd first come to Forks I knew my chances of ever going back home were well below zero. I was scented – werewolves would brave the mistletoe just to rip me apart and claim me as their kill. But it still saddened me to have to go back and say a proper goodbye to the place. The last time I was there was during the night of the attack…

Shaking my head, I forced myself not to think about that night as I hurriedly got dressed. Thanks to the mistletoe in my room I no longer felt threatened by the full moon but I knew it was a different story back in Phoenix. I knew we would have to leave soon to avoid the full moon.

I rang Alice on my way out of the house.

"You're bunking off because you've got some making up to do with your boyfriend," Alice said the moment she picked up the Office phone.

"You're a mind reader," I smiled.

"No, that would be Edward," Alice replied in the same flat tone.

I hesitated before saying, "Hey, Alice, you know I don't mean to offend anyone when I say that I don't want to be a Vamp."

"Hmm," Alice said on the other end. "Well, it doesn't offend me since you're not the other half of my soul but I can imagine Edward would be feeling pretty beat up about it."

"Crap."

"Exactly," she said. "Good luck."

She hung up, leaving me staring at the phone for a couple of minutes. I really needed to be more polite. I had to remember that not all Vamps were bad. The Vamps in Forks actually seemed nice.

On the drive over to Edward's, I thought about James. So I knew he was Mated to a Vamp but did that change anything? Victoria had seemed upset that he didn't want to be turned but that didn't mean she knew about the Angels. But Edward said everybody knew about the Angels and nobody cared because, as far as the Vamps could see, they were harmless.

I decided to just store the information away for later. I wouldn't confront James about it nor tell anybody else. Part of me wanted to keep it to use as bribery should James get a little too much for me. And part of me felt guilty for even thinking that.

Edward's house was silent when I pulled up. It usually was but this time there was the sort of silence around it that might be found when the occupants were asleep. Edward never slept obviously. I wondered if he was even here of if he'd spent the night at the Vampire Hotel playing chess with the others.

"Edward?" I called out casually, certain he would hear me if he was home. Heck, even a human could have heard my truck barreling over the uneven forest ground. "Edward, I need to talk to you."

I walked into his house without waiting for him to come to me. Silence. And then…

The softest sound of piano music filled the air. First they were light notes, almost hesitant, but then they became more confident until a wonderful tune danced its way towards me.

It was coming from upstairs.

I didn't know what to do. Of course Edward was the only person who could be up there except for his family but I felt intrusive going up there when he hadn't shown me around in the past times I'd been here.

"Edward," I said, raising my voice slightly and then regretting it as it seemed to spoil the music. "Edward, I'm coming upstairs." I thought it would be nice to give him some warning.

I began to take the stairs as hesitantly as those first few notes of music. I was sure Edward was angry with me but I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing by going up to him. Surely if he didn't want me to see anything up there then he would come down and stop me.

Upstairs all the doors were closed barring one that led to a large room at the front of the cottage. It was half-open and inside I could see Edward with his back to me playing the piano.

Gaining confidence, I walked over to him.

"That sounds amazing," I said when I was right next to him. The playing stopped. He wouldn't look at me. "I didn't know you could play."

"When we first met, Esme warned me not to show off," he muttered, talking to his lap.

Sighing, I gave his thigh a gentle nudge with my knee and he moved over making room for me on the small bench. We sat close together, our knees touching, and though there was that vibe of attraction that always ran between us on a never-ending current it was dimmed with the tension.

"It wouldn't have been showing off," I assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Edward, I'm sorry about what you heard last night."

"I shouldn't have been listening," he said quietly. "Is that really what you think of us, Bella? Don't lie to me if it is."

I sighed. "It's only true about some of your species though," I said. "I love you, for example and I like your friends."

He looked up at me, his golden eyes boring into mine. I decided then and there that I needed to show Edward the respect he always seemed to be showing for me. Or at least trying to show.

"I love you, Edward," I told him sincerely. "You're my…Vampire."

I had no idea using the full title meant so much to him but the word had barely left my mouth before he pulled my onto his lap and started to kiss me. My back connected with a few keys, tuneless notes were thrown into the air.

"Say it again," he rasped between kisses.

"Vampire?" It came out as a question because I couldn't believe for one second that that was the word that had gotten such response from him. However, it was.

"You know," he said, kissing down my neck. I gripped his shirt as a wave of fear shot through me. I was always nervous letting Edward near my neck. "I've thought about this. About you, me on the piano–"

"Edward, we need to talk about Phoenix!" I blurted before he could go any further.

He froze before slowly detaching his lips from my neck. "I can hear your pulse racing," he murmured, his breath tickling my skin. "Is that out of fear or…" he trailed off suggestively.

"Both," I admitted quietly. "You've never told me how much my blood appeals to you."

"A lot," was all he said about the matter before he pulled away and looked into my eyes. "What about Phoenix?" he asked.

"Well, when are we going to go?" I asked.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Bella, I've not exactly got the busiest schedule ever," he said, smirking slightly. "Whenever you're ready we'll go."

"Tomorrow then?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "So soon?"

"If we go tomorrow we can be back before the full moon."

"Ah," he nodded. "I'm sorry I neglected that thought."

"Can you smell the beastie's scent on me?" I asked. It was something I had been wondering about for a while. Edward beamed when I used the insult for the werewolves.

"No," he said. "It only appeals to others of their kind and even then it's just at full moon."

"Good," I sighed.

"So what do you want to do now?" he asked.

"Well, I got Alice to excuse me from school for the whole day so…"

Edward grinned before his lips descended on mine.

(*)

"Be careful, Bells," was Charlie's warning the next day.

"I'll be back in a week," I promised, swinging my rucksack onto my shoulder. "God, this thing weighs a tone," I complained.

"Just lean forward when you're on my back and I'll take the weight of it," Edward explained, offering his back to me.

I clambered on ungracefully and Edward's hands latched securely to the underneath of my thighs. Charlie watched in amusement. "You're like a packhorse," he said to Edward.

"Yes, sir," Edward said, smiling. "You ready, Bella?"

I tucked my head into Edward's neck and began breathing shallowly. "Ready," I said, my voice muffled.

The feeling of the ground being pulled from underneath me told me Edward had started running. I could only imagine the shocked look on Charlie's face as we left him behind.

We ran for hours, taking short breaks every now and again for me to recuperate.

"I haven't been running for ages," Edward told me on one particular stop. "It's exhilarating. You done yet?"

"No! Don't turn around!" I screamed as I tried master the art of peeing in a bush.

We camped for one night and arrived in Phoenix just in time to spend the night in the house. Edward frowned when I retrieved the spare set of keys the Council had mailed me to open the front door.

"You have keys?" he asked.

I nodded. "Vamp…ires have a lot more to deal with round here with all the werewolves and that so we get the odd burglary now and again." I didn't tell him that the fact Charlie didn't use keys was more of a shock to me than this was to him.

Inside the house was just the same as ever; no upstairs, a large room acting as the kitchen, dining room and living room, a bathroom and two bedrooms. It looked a mess, not just because of its size and the cheap furniture but because it had been neglected for months. Everything was just as it was the night the attack happened before I was hauled to hospital and Renee and Phil were sent to the police station. Even when I went back here to get some clothes to move to Forks, I hadn't touched anything.

Edward didn't say anything but let me absorb every little part of what used to be my home. "This was my height chart," I showed him, wanting to share every little piece of me with him. I took his hand and led him to the doorway of the bathroom where, beside the door, were pencil markings increasing up the wall as I grew up. He smiled, stroking the sketches delicately.

"You were a small kid," he pointed out.

"I was ugly too," I joked, grabbing a photograph from the chipped side table by the worn sofa. I showed it him, a lump forming in my throat.

The photo was of my mom and me before she met Phil. I was eight years old when it was taken and it was shortly after I'd learned to ride my bike. It wasn't that I disliked Phil but I'd been a lot happier when it was just Renee and me. I try to tell myself that it was only because I had been younger and it was during the time when I thought the Vampires protected us and not controlled us.

"Is that your mom?" he asked, pointing to her in the photo. I nodded, too emotional over seeing her face to be upset by the fact he didn't contradict my joke on me being ugly.

"She looks like you," he said.

"Nah, she's a lot prettier," I disagreed. "At first glance some people thought she was a Vampire."

"I don't have any photographs of my parents," Edward said sadly. "I wish I could share something with you."

"Hey, it's okay," I said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He paused for a moment before saying, "I could tell you how Vampires drink if you like?" I stared at him, stunned. "And why the werewolves mean so much to us."

"What brought this on?" I asked surprised.

Edward sighed and replaced the photograph on the side table. "It was a long journey," he said. "Maybe you want to freshen up?"

I had never changed into my pajamas so fast in my life. My mind was buzzing with all the new secrets Edward was now willing to open up to me about. He was going to answer questions only Qualified humans got to know; questions I had been wondering about my entire life. I was afraid to take too long in case he changed his mind. The only reason I didn't protest was that I knew he would need time to think and get his head around what he was going to tell me.

Edward was sat on the sofa when I returned, staring into a corner of the room. I sat next to him, cuddling up to his hard, cold side. He blinked as if coming out of a trance, looked at me and put his arm around me.

"Are you still going to tell me?" I asked. He nodded. "Why?"

"Because you're my Mate, Bella," he said. "And, though I know you can never become one of us, I think you should know everything."

"Thank you," I whispered.

Edward sighed and shifted slightly so we were both sat up and facing one another. I took his hand in mine, tracing light patterns to calm him down. He sighed again, ran his other hand over his face and began.

"Bella, do you remember me saying a while ago that Vampires are being controlled too?" he asked. I nodded, afraid to speak and break the spell. "Well, our feeding habits are the main thing that the Volturi control. Our natural instinct has always been – will always be – to feed off live human blood." He swallowed thickly. I found myself shifting ever-so-slightly away from him. "But we're not allowed to do that," he sighed, pretending he hadn't seen my reaction. "We – or the other Vampires – are only allowed as much as will keep our strength up and we have to drink the blood at the Blood Banks there and then."

I raised my eyebrows. "That doesn't sound too bad," I tried to reason.

"You wouldn't understand, Bella," he sighed. "You're not a Vampire. It's humiliating to have to drink the blood of animals, yes, but to have to drink blood that's not fresh in a room full of other Vampires is mortifying. It's not what we are designed for."

"But if that's the case then why don't the Volturi just let you go…crazy?" I asked. "It's not like us humans could stop you."

"Control, Bella," Edward smiled wryly. "It's all about control."

I guess the blood-drinking thing would never be something I would fully understand but it was nothing like I had imagined. I imagined Vampires in their homes, fridges full of blood which they heated in the microwave whenever it was dinnertime.

I looked at my wrist, trailing the veins visible through my pale skin.

"Edward?" I began hesitantly. "Would you like to try my blood?"

He looked at me, a wild look in his eyes. "Don't do that, Bella," he rasped, his voice similar to when we were making out against his piano. "You can't offer me something like that and expect me to refuse."

"I don't expect you to refuse," I told him, frowning. "You can have a taste if you want. At least it would give you some advantage to having a human Mate."

"Bella!" he was digging his face into the back of the sofa now, his teeth gritted. "I can't," he hissed. "I won't be able to stop."

"Oh god," I said, feeling my face paling in horror. "I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't know it appealed to you so much."

"It does," he said, half moaning. "My throat burns all the time I'm with you."

"Burns?" I questioned.

"The thirst," he explained, seeming more relaxed now we were slowly leaving the topic of my blood behind. "That's what it's like to us; like our throat is on fire."

"Oh, Edward," I said. "I didn't know." I took his face in my hands, trying to show how sorry I was until I realized my wrist was close to his mouth and I pulled my hands away. "I didn't know the thirst was a physical pain."

He smiled without humor. "It wouldn't exactly be a good way of advertising Vampirism," he said. "We tend not to tell people that. Same with the turning process."

I frowned. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I've heard rumors that people just go to sleep and wake up a Vampire."

Edward shook his head. "In my case Tanya bit me and her venom spread through my body. It's part of the Mating ceremony. Carlisle says Qualified humans are bitten personally by the Volturi Leaders. It's why so the waiting list is so long for the Qualified humans to turn – there are only three Leaders."

"So you just get bitten?" I asked, drinking up every little bit of information he was offering.

"And then you burn for three days straight," he said bitterly, his face twisting as he no doubt remembered the pain he went through.

"Burn?" I asked, my voice higher than usual.

"The venom burns its way through our body," he explained. "Yes, it pretty much heals you along the way until you're a perfect Vampire but the pain…"

I shut my eyes as something fell into place. "And you have perfect memories so…"

"We remember every second of it."

I opened my eyes again, surprised to find they were slightly damp as I imagine all those poor souls desperate for a new life only to have to go through three days of agony to get it. It was odd how I was even pitying _Vamp Groupies _now.

"So what about the werewolves?" I asked, desperate to move on. I hoped this topic wouldn't be as painful as the other two.

"Once we've turned, our newborn year is when we're at our worst," Edward began. "Our human blood is still in our tissues so we are stronger and we are not used to the thirst so our first instinct is to run and slaughter the first town we come across."

I winced. It was Edward's turn to hold _my _hand now. He stroked it gently, his icy fingers nice in the Arizonian evening heat.

"The Volturi keep us in check by keeping us at some sort of detention centre," Edward smiled at the name he gave it. "As far as I know it's not called anything because the Volturi don't want people to know it exists. They want people to think becoming a Vampire is the nicest experience in the world." He chuckled slightly though it was clear he didn't find it funny at all. "They train us there, teach us to control ourselves and then they give us tests."

"Tests? You have to study to be a Vampire?" I asked stupidly.

"Not those kinds of tests," Edward smiled. "Every full moon we were presented with a pint of blood and told not to drink it. It was the hardest thing any of us could imagine. We were so young, so new, and our throats burned in such a foreign way we thought if we didn't drink we would go mad."

"How did you do it?"

He looked uncomfortable. "I thought of my prize at the end," he said. "Tanya."

"Of course," I said wryly. He looked at me in panic, no doubt expecting me to start something. "It's okay," I assured him, finally ready to accept Edward had had a life before me. "Go on."

"But some of us couldn't control ourselves and that meant certain death," he said. I stared at him – I had not expected that. "They had werewolves locked up in silver cages, watching us and when one of us failed they threw them in."

I was aware my mouth was hanging open but I was in such shock I didn't care.

"We watched them get ripped to shreds. It was a warning to the rest of us not to disobey the laws. It's what they do with all the Vampires who break the laws – that's why they need the werewolves."

"But…but," I stammered. I was sure there was a point swirling round in my head, desperate to make itself known, but I couldn't locate it.

It was as if Edward read my mind. "The Volturi protect werewolves like yours because they want to be on their good side. We all know werewolves can kill Vampires at full moon but instead of destroying them, the Volturi plan to use them to their advantage."

"Oh my god, Edward," I said, tears burning in my eyes as I thought of all he went through. "I am so sorry."

"It's okay," he said. "I suppose it was only worse for me because I could hear what everyone was thinking. I could hear the Volturi Guards wanting us to fail so they'd get a good show, I could hear when someone was about to crack and I could even hear the hungered minds of the werewolves."

"Do they even think?"

"At a basic primal level, yes," Edward said. "They just wonder when their next meal will be."

I shivered.

"Here's something to cheer you up," he said. He leaned over and plucked the piece of mistletoe off the side table that had been there for over half a year now. "Years ago, Tanya told me, before it was found to be useful against werewolves, mistletoe was something people used to kiss under at Christmas."

He held the small now shriveled plant above the air between us.

I didn't believe him. How could something used to fend off beasts be used for romance too? But I kissed him anyway.


	15. Phoenix

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**15. Phoenix**

It took a few minutes of the bright sunshine streaming through the windows and onto my face for me to realize I was no longer in Forks. But why was I so cold?

With a start I remembered I was lying on Edward. My bed was too small for us to sleep side-by-side. Still, I was surprised I had slept so soundly. Sleeping on Edward was like sleeping on ice.

"You're awake," Edward said. He sounded rather pleased.

"Yes I am," I replied, shifting off him awkwardly. There was no other way to fit on other than for us to lean on our sides and look at each other face to face. So that's what we did.

"I've never watched a person sleep before," he told me. "It was…weird."

"How come?"

"You kept making these noises with your nose."

"I do not snore!" I cried, offended.

"Is that what it's called?" Edward asked innocently. "I always wondered what that sounded like. I know why people don't like it now."

"You could have just moved into the other room," I mumbled, embarrassed. I looked down at the thin sheet beneath us, picking at it nervously. Edward lifted my chin up with his finger until I was looking into his eyes.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," he told me sincerely. I almost believed him. He leaned forward and kissed me until I pulled back in horror.

"Morning breath!" I cried, slapping a hand over my mouth.

"I like it," Edward said taking my hand away from my mouth. He pecked my lips. "It's a natural taste."

"You disgust me sometimes, Edward," I couldn't help but say.

"Good," he smiled. "I've always heard about boyfriends disgusting their girlfriends."

"_Human_ ones," I reminded him.

"Let me pretend," he said, moving his kisses to my temple. My stomach growled. "What was that?" he asked, jumping back as though I'd bitten him.

I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or to laugh. In the end I went for the latter.

"You can tell you're hungry by your eyes," I said. "That's how I tell I'm hungry."

"What are you going to eat?" he asked. "We didn't pick up any food yesterday."

"I've got some Pop Tarts left in the rucksack," I said, sliding off the bed.

"Okay, I'll get some more food while you eat," Edward replied. He also slid off the bed but with more grace.

I stared at him. "You want to go into a store full of _human _food!" I gasped.

"I think I can manage it," he replied stiffly but his nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Seriously though," I said. "Won't it look weird; a Vampire shopping? What if someone recognizes you or sees your unusual eyes?"

"I'll wear sunglasses," he said shrugging. "Just let me live…like you for once," he said. "I'll go back into hiding tomorrow." I stood there for a moment, worrying my bottom lip. "Please, Bella," he begged.

I almost laughed at the situation. A _Vampire _begging _me_!

"Fine, but if you're not back in fifteen minutes I'll alert the Council myself to come looking for you," I threatened. He grinned like a little kid who had just gotten the toy he'd been begging for.

We both left the bedroom and, whilst I was digging in the rucksack for my crushed breakfast, Edward opened the front door, stepped out and stopped.

I watched him, sparkling in the Arizonian sun. It had been night when we'd arrived and the sun hardly made an appearance in Forks. It was like he wasn't used to seeing his own skin.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice small and childlike.

"Yes?" I said, finally locating my Pop-Tarts. They were crushed, yes, but still edible.

"Do you remember that book that came out a while ago? The one that was set in an alternate universe where Vampires are unknown to humans?"

I laughed. Of course I did. The human author had slipped through the net of Vampire writers to publish a book that the humans loved and the Vampires befuddled over. "Of course I do," I said. "And they weren't completely unknown – one girl found out and fell in love with one of them. Who was it by again?"

"Maggie Stiefvater*."

"That's the one," I grinned, "Amazing how she got away with it. What made you think of that?"

"It was just the reasons she put behind the Vampires being in hiding," he explained. "It makes sense when you think about it. I mean, we do stand out a bit don't we?"

"Just a bit," I laughed. He looked back at me, grinning, before he donned his shades and went off down the street sparkling like a disco ball. But, just like every other day in Phoenix and in the rest of the world, nobody batted an eyelid.

(*)

By the time Edward got back from the store, I'd already eaten my breakfast and was sorting through the drawers of the most valuable piece of furniture we owned. It was a large second hand cabinet filled with little relics that had been passed down from mother-to-daughter. I picked up the smallest; an emerald green bowl. I'd always wondered why Renee didn't just sell these things. I'd never been one for keepsakes, they just took up room when they could be sold for more practical things.

"What are you looking at?" Edward's voice from behind startled me so much I dropped the small green bowl. Luckily Edward caught it before it connected with the wooden floor. "Sorry," he said, replacing the bowl on the shelf, "I didn't mean to startle you." He took my hands then, looking deep into my eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, suddenly aware of the lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes. "I haven't really thought about this place since moving to Forks," I said, taking my hands back to wipe my eyes slightly before the tears started to stream down my cheeks. Edward had never seen me cry and I hoped to keep it that way.

"I've put the groceries in the cupboards," Edward offered, changing topic.

"That was fast," I commented, forcing a smile. "I didn't even hear you."

"Vampire," he said by way of explanation.

"Did anybody question you at the store?" I asked, suddenly worried.

He shook his head. "I don't think anybody even guessed I was a Vampire until I walked out and hit the sunlight again."

"You shopped at human speed?" I asked surprised.

"More or less," he hedged. "I speeded up when nobody was looking."

"What did you get?" I asked.

"Pretty much the same stuff you bought that night you came round to mind after…the Thriftway incident," he said, a little sheepish.

"You looked in my bags?" I asked, unsure whether to be amused or annoyed.

He shrugged. "You were angry with me," he practically mumbled. "And I wanted to get to know you more so I just had a quick look."

I thought back to that day, remembered I hadn't bought any embarrassing toiletries and breathed a sigh of relief. I smiled at Edward and leant into him. He put his arms around me. I suddenly felt very tired.

"You're not angry then?" Edward asked after a few minutes of silence.

"No," I sighed. "I'm starting to realize you interfering in my life is just something I'm going to have to get used to."

"You make it sound like a bad thing."

"Hm," was all I said before I pulled away from him and stared at the cabinet.

"So what now?" he asked.

I sighed. "Today I go and see my mom for the last time," I sighed. "They won't let me see Phil since he was charged with intent to kill. Renee was just a conspirator." Edward frowned at the word. I smiled, "I know. It's ridiculous. Even more so when you think about how much the Vampires at the jail must hate werewolves anyway."

"Bella," Edward said warningly. "You can't let anybody know you know about this. They'll kill us both."

"Who?" I asked.

"The Volturi."

"But who would tell them?" I challenged. "Surely, if enough people knew…"

"It would do no good, Bella," Edward sighed. "There will always be those who want the power and the glory and will turn us in."

I sighed. "It's just so frustrating," I complained.

"I know," Edward said. We looked at each other for a moment and, despite the difference in species and age, I felt like we truly understood one another.

"Representatives of the Vampire Council are coming over tomorrow," I continued. "They'll clear the house of anything I won't be taking to Forks with me."

"Is there anything you're taking?" Edward asked, glancing at the relics on the cabinet.

"No," I sighed. "They plan it well. I can't take any furniture back with me because it would cost more to ship them over than they're worth."

"Will they pay you for it?"

I remembered the smooth tones of the Vampire I had spoke to from the Arizonian Council on Friday. He hadn't even sounded sympathetic.

"No," I sighed. "They said anything they took would be like payment to them for the damage Phil and Renee caused."

Edward took in a sharp breath as though the unfairness of it all affected him too. "Why don't you take some stuff and sell it privately then?" he suggested.

I smiled wryly at him. "Who would buy this crap, Edward?" I asked. "And there's no point me taking those," I pointed at the relics, "When I won't have a child to pass them onto."

A flash of pain crossed his eyes. I hadn't expected him to care.

Turning away from his pained stare, I picked up a few photographs from around the living room. I plucked them out of the frames and held the paper memories close to my chest. "Do you reckon we could take these though?" I asked. "They'll fit in the rucksack."

Edward nodded. "Of course," he said, his voice thick with emotion.

"What is it?" I asked. Wasn't I supposed to be the one upset here? I regretted that thought instantly, feeling selfish.

"Do you want to have children, Bella?" Edward asked.

"No," I answered honestly, walking up to him and taking his hand. "And I'm not saying that because I'm Mated to you, Edward. Even before I met you I was always set against bringing a child into a world like this."

"But if we could…"

"I'd choose not to," I told him honestly. "You're not taking anything away from me that I want, Edward. Please know that."

He nodded slightly. But I wasn't sure if he believed what I was saying.

"It's just the heat getting to you," I said, smiling.

He smiled back with obvious force.

(*)

As much as I wanted Edward to come with me to visit Renee, I knew it wasn't a good idea. Not only was there a danger of somebody recognizing him without Tanya but I was sure a Vampire visiting a werewolf-killing convict would not have gone down well with the Vampire Guards.

I was led to a room by said Guards where Renee sat at a table, waiting. She wore a jumpsuit the color of the grey concrete floor and the bags under her eyes matched. Her drawn face lit up though when she saw me.

"Bella!" she cried, standing up. She didn't even seem to notice the scars on my face. Probably because the last time she had seen me they hadn't been scars but gashes, open wounds. I probably looked as perfect as a Vampire to her now they'd healed. I ran to her, hugging her tightly before the Guards prized us apart. I regretted hugging her instantly, upset that our last hug was here and not the one she'd given me when I'd woken up from surgery all those months ago before she'd mouthed off at the L.W.C in my defense and before they had dragged her away.

"Mom, I'm sorry," was the first thing I said when I sat down across the table from her. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, sweetie," she said though it was so very obvious that everything was not okay.

We chatted for a while about school and my life in Forks. All the while I was aware of the Vampires in the room, watching us. Their cold red eyes zoned in on every gesture we made. We weren't even allowed to hold hands.

This was horrible. It was as though they'd arranged this meeting out of cruelty rather than kindness. I'd have to leave this place with the pain of leaving my mother renewed. Part of me wished they hadn't bothered and left me to get over my mother as I had been doing in Forks.

"You're eighteen this September, Bella," Renee said, smiling. "Have you thought about your VQA?"

I looked at her pale and tired face. She actually looked hopeful and then I remembered Charlie saying how he and Renee had been hoping I would Qualify. Renee hated Vampires as much as I…had. But to her, a VQA was really a way out of this poverty known as humanity.

"My grades aren't good enough," I answered, my heart breaking as her face fell. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"No, no," she said quickly, going to reach for my hand but pulling away at the last minute. "Don't apologize, Bella," she told me. "None of this is your fault." I watched her take a quick glance to the Vampire Guards. It was clear who she blamed for all this.

Biting my lip, I realized there was a way I could assure her I would be safe for the rest of her life. It was risky but as long as I was careful it would do nothing but reassure her.

"Mom," I said, taking a deep breath. "I don't need a VQA," I told her. "I'm Mated."

Her jaw dropped and I was aware of the Guards in the room watching me. They were surprised I was Mated and still human. Maybe they thought I was bluffing. I didn't know and didn't care.

"What's their name?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

I ducked my head as though embarrassed. "I don't want to talk about him," I mumbled. "But he'll look after me, Mom, you don't need to worry about me."

"And soon you'll be a Vampire," she smiled. "I'm so happy for you, Bella."

I studied my mother, upset that just a few months of jail had transformed her into a different person. She was here because she mouthed off to the L.W.C about how the Vampires should be doing more to protect us from the werewolves, she was the one who had called some of the most respected Vampires in the community 'Vamps' to their faces. She was the one who had taken me away from Forks in the first place because it was so full of Vampires. But desperation had changed her. It wasn't that she was weak because she wasn't. She was smart. She'd chosen survival over pride.

I wasn't about to disappoint her by letting her know how it was impossible for me to become a Vampire. I'd leave her thinking her little girl was going to live forever.

I had to leave an hour later. We weren't allowed a hug goodbye but I told my mom I loved her and left with my head held high. No way would I collapse into tears whilst the Vampire Guards were watching me. I refused to give them the satisfaction. I almost called them leeches in my mind but even thinking it made me feel guilty because of Edward.

Edward was sat in the living room, reading a battered copy of _Dracula_; a book that had been banned years ago because of its negative view on Vampires but Phil had found in a dodgy garage sale on the other side of town. He lifted the book up.

"Your family are rebels," he said with a smile that quickly faded when he saw my face. Discarding the book on the floor, he was at my side in a second. "How did it go?" he asked.

I looked at him and smiled to show I appreciated his little joke. "We need to burn that book before the Council comes tomorrow," I told him.

Then I did something I swore I would never do in front of him, I cried. He didn't say anything but held me to him as he led us back to the couch and cuddled me while I sobbed into his shirt.

(*)

The next day I woke up numb and not because I'd been sleeping on Edward again but because I knew today would be the last time I was in this house; because today marked the beginning of the rest of my life without my mother.

"Bella," Edward whispered, gently sitting up whilst cradling me as I refused to remove my head from his chest. "Bella, the Council will be here soon. I need to go."

"Go where?" I asked, clutching his shirt in my panic. I didn't want him to leave me. Not now.

"I need to hide in case they recognize me," he explained.

"You said nobody would recognize you," I accused. "If you'd told me that in the first place I never would have let you come."

"As if I would have let you do this on your own," he said, stroking my hair. "It'll be fine, Bella, I'll just hide out in the woods until they go."

I saw the sense in it all but I was still reluctant when Edward got off the bed and strode over to the window. He pointed to the trees behind the house through my window. "I'll be right there," he said.

As I realized where he was pointing, my heart sped up in fear and I felt my Killer Scar prickling under my shirt.

"Bella?" Edward's voice seemed so far away as I struggled to breathe. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"W-werewolf," I stuttered, trying to quell my panic so I could explain. There was no need to however as Edward seemed to understand everything already.

"Bella, look at me," he said. I had never heard his tone to be so serious. "Bella, it's okay. It's daytime. The full moon isn't for another week. You're safe." He grabbed the tops of my arms, getting back on the bed with me.

I opened my eyes to find him looking at me with so much concern that it made me feel guilty.

"I can hear the Council members," he told me. "I have to go but I'll just be outside and I'll be back the second they leave. I promise."

I nodded, closed my eyes and sighed to calm myself down. When I opened them again, Edward was gone. He'd left the window slightly ajar as if to let me know he wasn't far away and he was coming back. I wanted to see if I could see him in the trees but I couldn't look out that window again. Not after last time.

A second later there was a knock at the door.

I hadn't even gotten dressed but I suppose that was for the best. My outfit made me look even more like the grieving daughter I was. Smoothing my hair down, I answered the door to two Vampires. One was tall and old-looking with greasy black hair slicked back across his head. The other looked only a few years older than me with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. Behind them was a large van where everything I had been around growing up was going to go.

"Isabella Marie Swan?" the older-looking Vampire questioned. "Daughter of Renee Dwyer and step-daughter of Philip Dwyer?"

I nodded, my mom's name cut through me like a knife. I tried not to double over from the weight of the grief already set on my shoulders.

"We're representatives of the Arizonian Vampire Council," he went on. "We've come to clear the premises. Is there anything you are hoping to keep?"

"No," I said straight away, knowing full well my photographs were tucked safe inside my rucksack.

"Very well, miss, if you'd just step out of the way."

Their manners knocked me sick and I gladly retreated to the corner of the main room with the rucksack which was already packed with food for the journey home. I clung to it so they would know it was my property from Forks and not something they had a right to take. I watched them box up my mother's relics at super-speed. I watched them load all the living room furniture in the van in seconds; the sofa which I had held onto when I took my first steps; the TV Phil had worked overtime to pay for; the side table where Renee kept her favorite books. I thought of _Dracula _smoldering in its ashes in the back garden. Edward had done a thorough job of destroying its evidence.

They took everything and left me alone in an empty room. Pipes stuck out of the walls where the kitchen sink used to be. Clean spaces could be found on the floor where the furniture had once protected it from dust.

I changed there and then not caring if Edward would walk in on me. I just wanted to get out of here. Once I'd straightened my shirt out, he appeared at my side.

"Are you okay?" he asked, standing as though he didn't know whether to approach me – like I was some sort of wild animal.

I sighed and took his hand, glancing at the empty room that had once been my home. There was nothing left for me here now. Nothing at all. I looked at Edward.

"Let's go home."

* * *

**A/N: ***Maggie Stiefvater is the author of the Shiver Trilogy; a werewolf romance. She has said numerous times that she 'doesn't do vampires'. :)


	16. Night Visitors

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**16. Night Visitors**

Edward dropped me off outside my house. I was exhausted yet, at the same time, I felt refreshed. We'd taken our time coming back, stopping and camping over two nights just to draw out the time we had together. Now though, it was back to normal.

"I have to go to school tomorrow," I told him, after we'd had our heavy goodbye kiss. "I know it's a Friday but I bunked off last week so…"

"I understand," Edward sighed. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

"I wish we didn't have to spend time apart," he said, sounding almost like he was sulking.

I smiled nervously, knowing full well his comment was teetering on the edge of an unknown cliff called our future.

"I'll see you tomorrow after school," I told him.

"Okay," he said, leaning in for one last kiss. And then another. And another.

"Edward go!" I laughed, shoving him away. He played along and backed away as though my shove had actually done something. He smiled before turning and speeding off into the woods. I watched the dark trees for a while, wondering if he was hiding in them and watching me.

Sighing, I trudged up the porch steps and entered the empty house. Charlie was working late so he wouldn't be home for a couple of hours. I set to work on the laundry and giving the house a good clean. Charlie had kept it in good order whilst I was gone but I liked doing the cleaning. It was the only reason I'd said goodbye to Edward outside and hadn't invited him in. This was my little duty in the house, it made me feel like I belonged here and I didn't want Edward chipping in and getting everything done in a matter of seconds.

I switched off the vacuum cleaner just in time to hear the thud from upstairs. My heart jumped in my mouth and I frantically looked outside. The full moon wasn't until tomorrow yet I started having visions of premature-turning werewolves.

Until I remembered where the noise had come from; my bedroom. I wanted to laugh at myself. Edward had probably snuck inside, being the impatient person he was he probably couldn't wait until tomorrow to see me again. And I'd grown used to have him by my side when I slept despite his little digs at my 'nose noises'.

"You know, we have a front door, Edward!" I called as I jogged up the stairs and into my room.

But it wasn't Edward. The bedroom window was wide open and a cold breeze blew in, rustling the long blonde hair that framed my intruder's face. Tanya.

She had been looking around my room and now she turned, her golden eyes fixed on me and my photographs I'd collected from Phoenix in her hand. They'd been the first I unpacked as I hadn't wanted them to get crushed or ruined in any way. I'd been especially careful when showing them Edward on our way home as I told him the story behind every one.

I was frozen in shock, unsure over Tanya's views on me. My only hope was that Alice would see if she hoped to kill me so I was safe. In a way. Tanya had every reason to shout and scream at me but maybe Alice would think I deserved that. I hadn't been the most polite of people about her kind.

"Isabella Marie Swan," my name fell from Tanya's lips like a bomb, full of hate and promising danger. "I've been reading up on you," she continued – thankfully – putting my photographs down on my desk. "Born September 13th 1990 at Forks General, moved to Phoenix with your mother in 1993, broke your arm when you were twelve falling off your bike, was attacked by a werewolf shortly after your seventeenth birthday with injuries including two smashed legs and a broken arm, oh and you're Mated to Edward Masen." She added that last part so bitterly it was like she could spit venom. My stomach flipped as I realized that was exactly what she could do.

"Tanya, I'm sorry," I began.

"Sorry?" she cried. "How dare you? How dare you pity me! What are you sorry for, Bella? That you took my Mate away?"

"He's not your Mate," I said without thinking. Her calling Edward hers had sparked something inside me. Something that clearly screamed _Edward is mine!_ I wonder, sometimes, what I would have done to her had I been a Vampire like her because – even in my human state – I wanted to tear her apart.

"He could have been," Tanya spat. "We just needed to work on it that was all and then that foreseeing bitch–"

"Don't you be rude to Alice!" I yelled. This was a more natural feeling; the feeling of defending a friend who wasn't there to stick up for herself. It was odd for me to defend somebody who wasn't human though.

Anger flashed across Tanya's eyes before it faded and was replaced by…despair?

"How can you be his Mate?" she demanded, looking me up and down. Months ago I would have felt the need to hide my scarred face with my hair but now I just looked at her, my hands clenching into fists. "You're human for crying out loud! And there's nothing special about you! Why would he choose you?"

"He didn't choose me, Tanya," I told her, confidence bouncing off every syllable. "And you know it."

The fight seemed to leave her and she slumped down on the floor. Not out of despair but because sitting on the floor to them was as natural to us as taking a seat on – I don't know – a _chair._ I sunk down onto my bed, watching her with my head cocked to the side.

I tried to picture myself in her position; finding somebody who was interested in me after centuries of living alone, finding out he didn't want me and I had fooled myself, losing him to something as pathetic as…me.

"Tanya," I began, unsure what to say but desperate to fill the silence. "What have you been up to since you and Edward…parted ways?"

She looked at me, surprised that I would be asking. "Well, I met up with him a decade ago," she said, "When the Volturi were doing their checks." My chest tightened in despair. They were together whilst I was alive? "It wasn't the same as before though," she said, unaware she was reassuring me. She laughed humorlessly. "Who am I kidding?" she asked, almost to herself. "It wasn't right – none of it was. I had one chance to find somebody and I blew it!"

"You blew his chance too," I couldn't help but point out in a small voice.

"You think I don't know that?" she asked bitterly. "We weren't Mates, Bella, but I did feel something for him. It was a big decision for me to appeal for him to be turned." She looked away from me, gazing into the corner of the room. "And the worst part is I actually feel guilty."

I raised my eyebrows. I hadn't expected this. In my mind I'd expected Tanya to hate me like the popular girl would hate the girl-next-door that stole her boyfriend; like in one of those cheesy films the Vampire film industry threw out every summer and all the Groupies ate up.

"Did you ever think that you and Edward could be friends?" I asked.

Tanya shook her head. "I can't even look him in the eye ever since that…Alice had her vision. We both knew we were faking it but the fact that Edward had a _real _Mate out there was the final nail in the coffin."

I looked at her, surprised.

"What?" she asked, smiling sheepishly. "I've picked up a lot of human expressions – I've been around a lot."

I couldn't help but smile and then we were laughing. It was quiet, uneasy laughter but it was laughter nonetheless. After it had died down, I sighed.

"Why are you here, Tanya?"

She mirrored my sigh. "I don't know. I suppose I just want to check if he'd found you and what was so special about you."

"Tanya," I began carefully. "There's always a chance you'll find your true Mate."

"I doubt it," she said harshly. "I've been around long before most languages, Bella, I think I would have met them by now."

I smiled sadly at her. "Have you been to the Vampire Hotel?" I asked.

"I don't think I'd be welcomed there," she muttered. "Why?"

"You're not hated, Tanya," I told her, surprised to find that I myself didn't hate her either. If anything I felt sorry for her but I tried not to show it; pity hadn't gone down too well earlier.

"I'm sorry, Bella," she said suddenly. "I shouldn't have been so rude. I know more about Mating than anybody else. I know it's not a choice."

"It's okay," I told her.

"You know I came over here with the intention of ripping your throat out," she added casually.

My heartbeat sped up.

She smiled knowingly. "But I realized Alice wouldn't let me," she continued. "And besides, I do love to hear the sound of fear. It reminds me of the Old Days when the Volturi didn't have quite so much control…" She trailed off wistfully, remembering a time when Vampires hunted the old-fashioned way.

Quickly and gracefully she rose from her spot on the floor and looked at me with a sad smile. "Goodbye, Bella," she sighed. "Tell Edward I wish the two of you the very best."

"Wait," I said, confused. "What about Christmas? Alice said the Volturi are coming this Christmas to check up on you and Edward."

Tanya's smile widened, her eyes pitied me. "I can't," she told me. "I found myself no longer caring for life, Bella. But I am sorry that my decision will affect you."

And then she was gone and I was left alone in my room, flapping my hands nervously. Tanya's meaning had been very clear. She wanted to die so she wasn't coming back. The Volturi will find Edward on his own or, worse, with me. They'll kill him. They'll kill us both.

I tried to drag air into my lungs but my panic was getting the better of me. I knew Edward and I didn't have much of a future to be begin with – what with me being human and him in hiding – but at least we had _some _future. Now I was watching it all teeter over the edge of that cliff, months away from plunging into a dark abyss.

The knock on the front door made me jump but I was racing down the stairs without giving my heart much chance to recover. I prayed to whatever God there was that it was Tanya. She was playing a joke. Of course, she would be back in time for the check-up. Heck, she could even slap me for all I cared. I just wanted Edward to be safe.

It wasn't Tanya though. It was Angela.

"Hello, Bella," she smiled but then her smile fell. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't bring myself to answer her. Paranoia set in and I glanced over the front garden as though expecting images of Edward and me kissing to reappear. I was nervous having Angela here just minutes after a Vampire had been in my house. Could she tell?

I turned my head to my side and sniffed my hair. It smelled sweet from where Edward and stroked it. Could she smell that too?

"I know Phoenix must have been terrible for you," she said suddenly. "I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it."

I had to stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief out loud. She was here as a friend because she thought I would need comforting after saying goodbye to my mother for the last time.

Thinking about it again caused another slice of pain across my chest.

"Sorry, Angela," I said, stepping to the side. "Come in." She did and behind her I saw movement in the trees over the road. For a second it looked almost like…

Something jumped out of the bushes and landed in the front yard. I stood there frozen in fear as the wolf raised its head to look at me. I almost lost control of my bladder until I realized the eyes were all wrong and it relied on four legs instead of two.

"What the–?" Angela began. She was beside me, as frozen as I was.

Slowly the wolf seemed to retreat into itself until a very naked Jacob stood in its place.

"Oh my god!" Angela cried, throwing her hands over her eyes. Ever the pastor's daughter…

"Jake! What the Hell?" I yelled averting my eyes. "Put something on!"

Laughing, Jacob retreated into the trees from where he had pounced and emerged seconds later in a pair of cut-off jeans.

"You don't own a shirt?" I joked as he let himself in.

"Nah, I like to travel light," he replied smirking.

I shut the door behind him before looking at my two friends stood in the hallway. Angela was looking at Jacob with wide eyes whilst Jacob was too busy grinning at me.

"Angela, this is Jacob," I introduced. "Jacob this is Angela."

"Hi," Jacob said to Angela.

"Hey," Angela smiled. I noticed the hint of sympathy in her tone and in her expression. Please, God, don't let her slip up and mention his mother, I prayed. Jacob seemed oblivious to it all though as he headed into the living room.

Angela and I followed. "So you shifted?" I asked, "Thanks for telling me."

"You were in Phoenix," he said, waving his hand dismissively. He made himself comfortable in Charlie's armchair whilst Angela and I took the couch. "How did that go by the way?" His expression shifted to sympathetic. I noticed Angela was looking at me in the same way.

Tanya's visit felt like months ago.

"It was fine," I said. "If it's okay with you guys, I'd rather not talk about it. I just want to move on."

They both nodded but Jacob seemed to understand more than Angela. I wondered, despite him being so young, if he'd felt this way when his mom had died.

"Do you guys want something to drink?" I asked suddenly. "I'm sure there are some cans of Coke in the–"

"I'll get them!" Angela offered quickly, standing up. She hurried out of the living room and I suppose she just needed time to think. Angela obviously wasn't well acquainted with the Shape-Shifters and, being against Vampires and werewolves, she was having trouble knowing how to act around something none-human.

I took full advantage of her absence.

"So, have you Imprinted?" I whispered to Jacob.

He choked on air. "Bella, that's private," he hissed.

"Well, I was just wondering," I said, slightly offended. "You said you had your eye on someone a while ago so I thought…"

"It was nothing," he mumbled, his cheeks burning. "I got it wrong."

"Just a school boy crush?" I asked, teasing him.

"Shut up," he mumbled but I could tell he was smiling.

Angela returned with our Cokes. For a few minutes we sat in uncomfortable silence. Part of me wanted Angela to leave so I could talk to Jacob properly about his Shift whilst the other part of me wanted Jacob to leave so I could ask Angela what they got up to last Sunday at the Angels' meeting. And the majority of me just wanted them both to leave so I could think about what to do over Tanya's visit.

"Hey, I never ask you," Angela said, pointing to my silver ring. "Where'd you get that ring from?"

I fiddled with the metal awkwardly. "I just…found it," I said carefully. "I thought it looked nice."

"But it's silver," Jacob commented. "Bit boring isn't it?"

"Are you a fan of rings, Jacob?" I asked. I'd meant to sound teasing but it sounded more like I was on the defense.

Jacob looked surprised before he mumbled, "Sorry, Bells. I didn't mean to upset you."

I sighed. "It's fine, Jacob. Besides," I smiled, "Silver is a lot more valuable if you think about it."

"No it's not," Jacob was first to disagree but Angela actually understood me.

"She's right," Angela nodded. "Silver can kill werewolves. It's a shame it's not the same for Vamps," she added under her breath.

"You shouldn't be thinking about killing werewolves," Jacob said, pointing at me seriously.

"I'm not!" I assured him, too chicken to look at Angela's reaction to my words. "And I'm not thinking about killing Vampires either while we're at it."

"Vampires?" Angela questioned. It was only when I turned to look at her and saw the confusion on her face that I realized my mistake. I'd used the respectable title.

I didn't know whether Jacob had caught on to the tension between Angela and I or if he had just seen the time, but I was forever grateful when he said, "Well, sorry to rush off, Bells, but my dad'll be wondering where I am. I told him I'd only be telling you that I'd shifted."

"That's okay, Jacob," I told him, tearing my eyes away from Angela's accusing stare. "Charlie will be home soon so I better get dinner ready."

Thankfully, Angela took this as her cue to leave too and I showed them both out the door. Once they'd gone, I leant against the wood breathing deeply. I was left alone now to think of nothing but mine and Edward's impending doom.


	17. Full Moon

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**17. Full Moon**

Edward's expression didn't even flinch when I told him what Tanya had said.

"Alice saw it coming," was his reply when I demanded to know why he was so calm over this. "Bella, Tanya is a drama queen. End of story. She's just doing this to scare you."

"She sounded genuine to me," I sulked. "And Alice must be the worst person in the world to watch a movie with," I added.

"We don't really watch movies anyway," Edward said. "Vampires make bad actors."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Oh really?"

"Like you haven't noticed, Bella," Edward said. "Sure they're not too bad when they're playing Vampire characters but what about that one we saw a couple of weeks ago? I've never seen a human sleep _that _peacefully before."

"You've only seen me sleep," I pointed out.

"Exactly," he said. "And you sleep just like a human should – nose noises and everything."

"Edward! I do not snore!"

"What? I find it cute," he said. And then he smiled before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me onto his lap. This was the position we assumed every time I went round to his. If this sofa could talk…

"You're trying to distract me," I told him as he kissed behind my ear.

"Actually I'm not," he said a little stubbornly. "I was going to have this conversation with you anyway."

"Well, this doesn't look like a conversation," I said as he moved his kisses down my neck.

Impatient and annoyed he wasn't taking my Tanya news seriously, I pulled away from him.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Conversations involve talking, Edward," I reminded him, using my finger to lift his head up so his eyes met mine.

He didn't say anything but reached for my other hand and kissed the silver ring still on my finger. "Bella, do you remember that conversation we had a while ago?" he asked, rather vaguely.

"You'll have to be more specific."

He ducked his head as though embarrassed and I frowned down at him but before I could ask he said, "About the pain you were feeling in your chest? When you told me you loved me for the first time."

"Oh yeah!" I cried, pleased I could keep up with his Vampire memory, and knowing I would never forget that day. "What about it? Don't tell me," I teased. "You found a cure for the pain that's actually possible?"

"No," he mumbled, his voice even lower. "I was thinking more of the conversation we had...after that."

I frowned and then blood filled my cheeks as I remembered _exactly _what had gone on after that.

"Bella, I was wondering if…"

"Are you asking for sex?" I demanded.

Edward cringed and looked as though he was trying to press himself into the couch and disappear entirely. "Well, I wouldn't put it that way…" he mumbled.

"Sorry," I said, not being able to meet his eye either. "I just wanted to be clear." We sat in an awkward silence for a moment before I realized it was down to me to sort it all out. "Edward," I whispered, leaning down to try and look him in the eye. "Edward, it's okay. You can ask me anything you know."

I didn't really know where this whole conversation was going and I was feeling awkward as ever having it whilst I was still sat on his lap. Something told me that moving off would be an even worse idea though. I didn't know what impression it would give him.

"I've been thinking about it, Bella," he said, his voice a little louder than before but still an embarrassed mumble. He must have seen my expression because he quickly said, "No, not in _that _way. I mean, how we could do it."

"How…?" I trailed off, all sorts of thoughts flitting through my head. What did he mean how? And then it dawned on me. "I've never heard of a Vampire and a human in this…situation before."

Edward nodded. "That's because…it's dangerous."

"What?" I cried.

"Listen, Bella," he said quickly. "From what I've heard they were nothing but casual…encounters. None of them shared the link that you and I share."

"And this link will stop you ripping my throat out?" I demanded, my voice shrill.

"Ripping your throat out isn't the issue," he said, looking even more embarrassed than ever. He'd be beetroot red if he had a blood supply. "It's what I might do to you when I…if I get too…you know." He flapped his hands about uselessly.

"Excited?" I asked. Oh god it felt like my whole body was burning with embarrassment now.

Edward nodded silently, looking as though he wanted nothing more than to rip through the floorboards with his bare hands and bury himself.

I took a deep breath and weighed out my options. On one hand, Edward could hurt me. Period. But on the other...I was never going to become a Vampire. Never. So unless we were never going to have sex then I would have to get through this.

"You think you can control yourself?" I asked him.

"I know what it's like," he said, "Kind of." I tried not to think how he knew. "But I'm going to Canada with Carlisle and Emmett and we're meeting up with Jasper so I can get more advice."

"Advice?" I squeaked. That sounded horrible…and weird.

"I know what…sex is like," he said, whispering the last bit as though a nun might pop up from behind the sofa and smack him in the head with her Bible. "But I don't know what it's like with a Mate."

"I don't think you should be getting your hopes up," I told him skeptically.

"So you want to try?" he asked.

"Of course I do," I sighed. "It's just…" I hesitated but he was already looking at me expectantly so I couldn't back out now. "It's just I wish we didn't have to talk about this. I wish we could just be like another pair of stupid teenagers who get carried away and before they know it end up doing it right in the living room whilst the house is free of parental eyes and ears."

Edward stared at me, his mouth agape.

"I wasn't trying to be crude," I assured him, snuggling up to him so my head was on his chest. "I just wish…"

"That we were normal," he finished. "I know. Same here."

"But it's okay that we're not," I assured him. "It just means we'll probably have to have more mortifying conversations like this about something or other in the future."

I felt his chuckle reverberate in his chest.

"You know, I think you're more normal than you think," I told him, tapping his chest. "I mean look at you; you're just like every other teenage boy who's gagging for it."

"Bella!" he exclaimed.

"When do you want me to play my part and start begging for a marriage proposal?" I asked.

He laughed at that, relaxing as he realized I was only joking before.

"I suppose, at least, it shows we're comfortable with each other," he said hesitantly. "To talk about things like this I mean."

"Edward, if you had a blood supply you'd be redder than me and that's saying something." I pressed the back of my fingers to my cheek which was still hot.

"Carlisle, Emmett and I are leaving tonight," he said suddenly.

I shot up. "Tonight?" I asked. "How long for?"

"Just until Monday," he said. "We're not going just for…me. It's a sort of friend thing too."

"Friend thing?" I asked. He nodded. "Wow," I breathed. "It must be the air in Washington but you Vampires are weird."

He laughed.

"Edward," I said. "Tell me about Jasper."

"What about him?" he asked, suddenly cautious.

"Well, I've never met him," I shrugged. "And he must be special to put up with Alice so what's he like?"

He hesitated. A sudden vibration in his pants pocket had me screaming and falling off his knee onto the floor before he could catch me. He was busy wrestling his phone out of his pocket. "Sorry," he said off-handedly to me, scanning the screen. He smiled, put his phone away and only then seemed to notice me on the floor.

"Did you hurt yourself?" he asked, sounding more concerned now.

"No," I said, trying not to sound miffed. "I'm fine." I stood up and sat down on the couch next to him. "Who was that?"

"Alice."

I rolled my eyes. Of course. "What did she see this time?"

"She saw Jasper being okay with me telling you about his past," he said.

"His past?" I repeated, picking up on the eerie words. I only wanted to know a bit about him but Edward made it sound like there was a lot more to it than him just Qualifying.

"Jasper Qualified in the 1800s. He came from a military background," Edward explained. He paused before blurting, "He worked for the Volturi for a number of years."

My mouth fell open.

Edward nodded knowingly. "He's not proud of it himself but he just got roped into it. Whilst he was in…the detention centre, he got into a fight with another Vampire. He didn't destroy the Vampire – that would have been a one-way ticket to the werewolf cage – but he impressed the Guard enough for them to take him on."

"Wow," I breathed, unsure what else to say.

"But Jasper's Gifted too," Edward continued. "He can feel the emotions of those around him as well as inflict emotions on people too."

"But that means…" I trailed off, unsure if I was correct in what I was thinking.

"That he felt what the werewolves felt, yes," Edward said. "I've asked him about what they feel. Based on their thoughts I can't imagine them wanting anything more than to devour everything in sight."

"Well what does Jasper say?"

Edward looked me in the eyes, "He won't tell me – or anyone for that matter. He won't even tell Alice."

I felt my body sink into the sofa as though the weight of Jasper's story had been dropped on my shoulders. Edward noticed.

"It's a lot to take in," he said, as though he was apologizing. "He doesn't like to talk about his time with the Volturi. It would be best if you didn't bring it up in his company."

"I won't," I promised, wondering when I would ever meet this mysterious Jasper. "How did he and Alice meet?" I asked, moving on to a lighter topic.

Edward paused, his hand hovering over the phone he had replaced in his pocket. I realized he was waiting for it to ring. When it didn't, he sighed.

"Alice was in the Volturi too," he explained. "They met whilst they were there."

"Alice?" I gasped. "But I thought…" I trailed off, remembering Rosalie telling me at the Hotel that Alice had been forced to become a Vampire.

"Upon hearing about Alice's…unique personality, they paid her parents to let her be turned."

"So her parents sold her to the Volturi?" I gasped, realizing what he was saying.

"Alice and her family were peasants," Edward said as though trying to defend them. "There was no way Alice would be able to Qualify and the money meant that her younger sister could have a good life."

I pursed my lips. Edward, clearly seeing I still wasn't happy with the idea, sighed and said, "Alice forgave them decades ago."

"So how did they get out of the Volturi then?" I asked. "They don't sound like the type of Vampires to let people go so easily."

"Jasper and Alice weren't as perfect as they would have liked," Edward said bitterly. "Alice didn't have control over her visions and Jasper's Gift meant he was depressed every time he had to throw somebody to the werewolf as he had felt their fear and their shame."

I drew in a sharp breath. I couldn't even imagine what that would have been like for him.

"So they let them go," he said.

"Just like that?"

Edward nodded. I sighed.

"I'm your Mate, Edward," I reminded him. His eyes flashed as they always did whenever I brought up the fact I belonged to him. "You can't keep something from me without me being able to tell you're lying."

He opened his mouth, hesitated as though he was unsure what to do, and then the door to the cottage flew off its hinges.

"Edward!" Emmett cried, picking himself up off the floor and looking behind him. "Sorry about the door, man."

I stared at him, mouth agape.

"Hey, Bella!" he said giving me a wave. "Sorry, but if we're going to Canada then we need to start running."

"You're not even using a car?" I said, surprised.

"Running's more fun," Carlisle said as he – more civilly – entered the cottage. "Even if Edward does beat us all when it comes to speed."

"You never told me that," I accused.

Edward smiled shyly.

"Aw, well that's our Eddie!" Emmett declared. "He's a little modest hero aren't you, Ted?" He went to ruffle Edward's hair but Edward caught his wrist and pulled him over the sofa. I squealed as the two of them hit the floor with a thunderous bang and started wrestling.

I turned to Carlisle who was shaking his head whilst he watched them.

"Are they always like this?" I asked.

"Yes," Carlisle smiled. "Yes they are."

He joined me on the couch as Emmett jumped from Edward's grasp and raced out the front door. Edward followed, both of them were laughing.

"How long have you been like this?" I asked, over the sound of their fighting.

"Like what?" Carlisle asked.

"Like…a family." The word felt foreign on my tongue when it came to describing Vampires.

Carlisle smiled gently. "Ever since Alice, Jasper and Edward came here. Esme and I had already established ourselves in the area and Rosalie and Emmett followed not long after, setting up the Hotel themselves. Jasper left to teach at a Canadian University about five years back but he still visits on weekends."

"I don't remember ever seeing you when I visited my dad in the summer," I said, sounding almost apologetic.

"You stayed indoors all the time that's why," Carlisle chuckled. "I remember asking Charlie about you one year after you'd gone home and he said you were a bit nervous about us."

"That's putting it politely," I muttered.

"Ah, well, it's just water under the bridge now," he said. "There's no need to dwell on the past."

"That's what you should have told Edward," I said, "Back when he was a bit moody."

"He would have been moody anyway, Bella," Carlisle smiled. "He needed you."

At that moment Edward and Emmett came back in, still shoving each other and laughing.

"Are we ready to go then, boys?" Carlisle asked. "Jasper will be wondering where we've got to."

"I'll see you on Monday?" Edward asked, kissing me goodbye. I blushed. I was used to our kisses being exchanged in private.

"Monday," I promised.

"See'ya, Bella!" Emmett bellowed. Edward walked me to my truck and then they were gone; the three of them running at top speed through the woods.

I laughed and looked back at Edward's cottage. The door was still on the floor. I wondered who would be sorting that one out.

(*)

Charlie was still at work when I pulled up outside the house. But there was another figure on the porch.

"Mrs. Cope?" I said, startled. The light was fading fast and I hadn't been able to make out who it was until I was right next to her. "What are you doing here? I'm afraid Charlie won't be home for another hour or so if you need to see him."

"Oh, I've not come for Charlie," Mrs. Cope smiled. "And please, fellow Angel, call me Bridget."

"Bridget." I tried the name out. It didn't feel right; too personal. "What are you here for then?"

"I've come to see how you are," Mrs. Cope smiled. "You weren't at the meeting last Sunday."

"Oh, I told Angela I had to go to Phoenix to take care of things," I explained, nervously glancing at the full moon. "Shall we go inside?"

I led the way in and showed her the sofa. "Would you like a drink or anything?" I asked.

"No, thank you, dear," she said. "I really shouldn't stay for long."

Not feeling particularly thirsty myself, I sat down on Charlie's armchair and waited.

"How was Phoenix, my dear?" she asked in a tone that reminded me of a grandmother.

"It was…" I trailed off, unsure if there was any sort of adjective I could use to describe the last trip to my home, "Interesting." I sighed. That wasn't the right word at all. "Did anything happen in the meeting last Sunday?"

"Not really, dear," Mrs. Cope replied. "They just browsed through some old texts the two college boys had discovered. You know, there are so many interesting things about werewolves that they didn't know. Like how their senses heighten in the few days before and after their change. Did you know that?"

"No," I said, swallowing thickly. Desperate to turn the conversation away from werewolves, I asked, "Mrs. Cope…Bridget," I added when she gave me a look, "If you don't mind me asking, how come you're never at any of these meetings?"

She pursed her lips. "Well, sometimes they don't really like me to hear what they're saying. They don't trust me you know."

"But your James' grandmother, right?" I asked. "Why would they not trust you but trust your grandson?"

Mrs. Cope sighed patiently. "It's a funny world we live in isn't it?" she smiled. "I suppose it's because James – despite his many wonderful faults – is still human."

Her words made me instinctively look out the window at the full moon. _Oh God. Oh God, please no, please no._

With my palms sweating like crazy and a heartbeat to match, I turned back to face Mrs. Cope. Her eyes had gone from a warm gray to a watery, bloodshot yellow.


	18. Murder

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**18. Murder**

I was aware of bile rising up my throat, of hot pee running down my legs, and then I was running, running through the kitchen and out the back door. I tripped on the step that led down onto the grass, my face collided with the cold blades. I scrambled to my feet; the sound of a snarl ripping through the house spurred me on.

Amidst my fear and my panic, I was suddenly grateful to the small part of nature that had invented scenting. Yes, it would mean that it would come after me and only me, but it also meant that other people in Forks were safe.

My mind flitted to death again as I ran to the end of the garden. I realized I didn't want to die anymore. I had Edward now, and Charlie, and Alice and the other Vampires. What a turnaround! I now wanted to live because of Vampires! But if I did die then I wanted it to be quick. I hoped me being scented would drive it mad. I hoped it wouldn't take its time like the one in Phoenix did.

Charlie's house stood a little away from the rest in the neighborhood. The only way to the rest of the houses was down the road at the front of the house; the woods were to the left, over the road, and at the back meaning all I had to do was scramble over the back fence and I'd be in woodland.

I flung myself over the wood and hit the ground hard, vomiting in fear again. I was still convulsing when I heard a crash from inside the house followed by a roar.

Surely somebody must have heard that, must have recognized it even if they had never heard one roar before? I didn't have time to pray for help though. I was on my feet again, running blindly through the trees, my hands scraping against bark. I tried to cut myself, hoping the smell of blood would lure a Vampire and they would help. But I knew I was clutching at straws.

The full moon lit my way but it also reminded me of what was happening. And suddenly it didn't matter whether I could see or not anymore because I was crying, sobbing hysterically as I scrambled over tree roots.

I heard the sound of trees being torn from the ground some way behind me and I knew it was a matter of minutes if not seconds before it caught up. My mind went back to Phoenix.

(*)

Something woke me. It sounded like a whoosh of air, like a snorting horse. Blinking through tired eyes, I pulled myself into a sitting position and swung my legs over my bed. There it was again. Yawning, I looked over at my window, laced with mistletoe and froze.

It was a beastie, sniffing through a crack between the window pane and the cabin wall. My heartbeat raced in fear but that only seemed to excite it more as I heard the scraping of its claws against the grass outside. Slowly, I padded into the main room. The snores coming from Renee and Phil's room told me they were still asleep so I curled up on the couch, trying to ignore the musty smell and get some sleep.

I didn't know if two minutes or two hours had passed but I woke again to the sound of it sniffing at the door. My mind was fuzzy from sleep and that was when I started to think. I started to stupidly think.

No werewolf had come this close to the house before. Maybe it was different. The snorting noises sounded so gentle, reminded me of the horses that the police rode round the city. Still in my sleep-stupor, I got off the couch and walked to the door. I told myself it was trying to make contact with me, that I could be the one who demolished the line between werewolf and human. My sleepy fantasies got the better of me and I smiled dopily as I thought of us reuniting and overthrowing the Vamps. After all, werewolves were human most of the month…weren't they?

The snorting stopped and I heard the thing pad away.

My dreams ended, my eyelids were slowly closing so I decided to check if it was still nearby. It would just be a small check, I told myself. It would be a peep really and then…well, I would think about that later.

It felt more like sleep-walking but I was vaguely conscious, like in the state you are before you go to sleep. When you decide what you want to think about but then your mind runs off without you telling it to and you're aware of what you're watching but you have no control over it.

I wasn't really opening the front door, I was just dreaming it. And the beastie wasn't really waiting outside the house, it was all in my mind. Werewolf nightmares were not uncommon in Phoenix.

I only truly snapped awake when its jaw locked around my leg and it pulled me from the house.

(*)

I fell onto the grass again, cold dirt filling my nostrils and my face sticky with tears. "Edward, I'm so sorry," I whispered, feeling the need to apologize to him. He'd be on his own again, a single Vampire in a group of Mates.

The padding of the beastie grew louder as it came closer until what could be heard as gentle thuds in the distance became monstrous bangs. It stopped when it reached me. I was curled up in a fetal position, waiting for the final blow.

I hadn't given up exactly. I was simply taking a risk when it came to survival tactics. If I got up and ran now, the chase would over-excite it and I would be dead in seconds. But if I stayed still and waited it out, then maybe – just maybe – it would inspect me first. It would bide me time though I had no idea who would rescue me. The nearest L.W.C was probably in the most southern part of the state.

It bent its head low, rejoicing in its kill whilst its breath washed over me. I fought the urge to gag. It smelt like it was rotting from the inside out. And then it snorted. A gentle horse-like snort that reignited the fantasies and hopes I'd had of that night. I wanted to scream at my own stupidity.

I was even on the verge of throwing myself up and surprising it, offering myself to it. I deserved it in the end. I was the stupid one that had probably led it here, that had endangered the people of Forks.

But before I had the chance, something hit it from the side and it went tumbling into the trees to my right. I stayed where I was, frozen with shock. At first I thought it might have been the L.W.C but they wore sirens on their jackets to alert people there was a werewolf situation nearby and they were dealing with it. This figure was silent apart from the odd grunt that could be heard over a ferocious snarl.

A very feminine grunt.

"Tanya!" I choked in shock, my mouth as dry as sandpaper and tasting of bile.

She didn't answer me, too busy wrestling the beastie that was at least four times her size. She had speed on her side though it was so much stronger than her. I scrambled to my feet and watched the two forms grappling with each other. Looking around me, I searched fruitlessly for something to help her with but found nothing. I was useless; a useless human that was going to get us both killed.

"Tanya!" I screamed, more loudly this time. "Tanya, leave it! It's after me!" I took a step forward, the sound of leaves and branches breaking under my foot obscured by the fighting shadows before me. I couldn't get any closer without being crushed instantly. They were nothing but a writhing dark mass against a lighter background. Snarls and growls filled the air until, to me, they became as common as oxygen.

"Tanya!" I sobbed, desperate for her to hear me. What did she plan to do? Distract it until the sun rose? "Tanya! Stop! Think of Edward!" There was no hope for me but I couldn't leave him on his own, and she'd told me she cared for him.

Two things happened at that moment. At the mention of Edward's name, Tanya turned her head towards me, her mouth open as though she wanted to say something but the beastie took advantage of her distraction and pinned her to the ground. Before I could race forward and offer myself as a distraction for her to get away, another werewolf broke through the bushes on the opposite side of them.

Only it wasn't a werewolf. It tackled the werewolf to the ground, pinning it shoulders down with its giant paws thus allowing me to see it clearly in the light of the full moon. It was the size of a large horse, its hackles raised on its back and its fur glinting russet in the moonlight.

"Jacob!" This time my voice was hoarse with shock and fear. I couldn't even bring myself to shout for him to get away before the beastie had broken free of him, knocking him to the ground where he whimpered pathetically.

Time stood still for a moment as I watched Tanya and Jacob both struggle to rise from the ground. The beastie didn't waste time however, it locked eyes on me and then came charging. I'd always considered that my life would flash before my eyes seconds before I died but that didn't happen. Instead, what I felt in those few seconds was…calm. It was so wonderful to give up fighting and being afraid, and just accept that in this world; the bad guys always win.

Then again, maybe my life didn't flash before my eyes because this wasn't the end of it. From nowhere, and with surprising strength, both Jacob and Tanya appeared and tackled the werewolf to the ground again. Tanya ran up to me at one point and I felt her cold hand touch mine before she ran back to help Jacob again. Was it reassurance? From _her_?

I couldn't take any of it anymore. The shock of having a near-death experience made me fall to my knees and I stayed there, with my face pressed into the cold dirt, until the roars of the beastie stopped.

I didn't want to look, didn't want to have to accept what they had done and what would happen to them as a consequence of it.

A warm hand pressed gently against my back.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice asked. "Bella, it's alright now. It's gone."

I tried to take a breath but it turned out I'd been holding back tears for a long time and at that moment it all erupted out of me. Tears streamed and my nose ran, and my throat choked on sob after sob as Jacob gently lifted me and held me to him. I didn't even give a damn that he was naked.

Through my blurry vision I caught sight of Tanya, her back to me through the trees as she looked at the mats of black fur and chunks of red that surrounded the clearing they had fought in. My stomach turned, my nostrils finally registered the stench of rotting flesh.

The werewolf was dead. The thing that had been Mrs. Cope was dead.

Tanya suddenly turned and was beside Jacob and me in a heartbeat.

"You need to go," she said flatly, staring down at Jacob. "You can't be here when they arrive."

"They won't come out here," Jacob replied defiantly. "Werewolf attacks here are so rare that–"

"They'll know," she told him coldly. "They always know. You need to leave." She turned her head suddenly so she was facing the direction I had run from. "I can hear something faintly."

That must mean they were miles away then. We still had time. "Jacob, listen to her," I sniffed, looking up at him and cupping his face in my hands. He'd cut his hair since he started shifting to make things easier. He looked so changed, so grown-up and responsible now that it scared me slightly. "If the L.W.C find out you did this…" I couldn't even finish my sentence.

"And what about her?" Jacob asked, indicating to Tanya with a nod of his head.

I closed my eyes as a feeling of despair washed over me. Somebody had to take responsibility for this mess and I was going to lose either way. If Tanya took it then they would take her away. Maybe they'd destroy her and send a sympathy card to Edward but I doubted it. From what I had learned, the Volturi knew almost everything and they would know about her 'fake Mating' with Edward. I would lose him. But that was only a maybe. If Jacob took responsibility then I would definitely lose him.

"You need to hurry," Tanya said, interrupting my depression.

Jacob sighed. "Come on, Bella," he said.

"No," Tanya said quickly. "She can't go with you. It would arouse suspicion. You need to go back to your community and Bella should go…to the Vampire Hotel."

Jacob's grip tightened on me for a second before he eventually sighed in defeat and let me go. I watched him pad a few feet away before the wolf burst from his skin and he ran off at full pelt in the direction of La Push. His form retreating into the darkness as it took him away from me.

"Thank you," I told her numbly. We both silently understood what she was going to do.

"Don't thank me yet," she told me, getting down on the ground beside me. "Hopefully they'll destroy me straight away but if they get suspicious then they'll take me to the Leaders. Aro will be able to find out everything whether I like it or not. And that includes what happened with me and Edward."

"Won't they be suspicious anyway?" I asked, taking a deep breath and looking into the clearing where the dismembered parts of the beastie lay. I tried not to think about the Volturi finding out about Edward and me. "How will they believe that one Vampire took down a werewolf?"

Tanya looked at me for a moment before running over to the death site and back again, clutching something silver and red in her hand. She held it out to me, the ring shone in her white palm.

"Silver," she explained. "If you had a gun and loaded it with this, you could have killed it yourself. We'll need to keep it here though. They'll want to bag it as evidence. I'm sorry."

I took the ring from her, frowning at the slippery wetness of the beastie's blood. Edward's words from the meadow came to my mind.

_Silver is more useful in this world than gold._

I knew silver bullets could kill a werewolf – everybody knew since they were illegal – but something a small as a ring? I wondered if Edward had known though, even if he had, it had taken the force of a Vampire throw to embed the 'weapon' into the beastie's body. Left alone to me, it would have been useless.

"I think a ring is a small price to pay for my life," I said. "Why did you do this?" I asked her, making an attempt to wipe the blood from the ring. Werewolves terrified me but I didn't mind having their blood stained on my fingers and jeans. It made me feel…powerful.

"I wasn't always alone, Bella," Tanya told me. "I had a group of friends once just like Edward has now."

I didn't say anything, too surprised to even find the words.

"Just before I met Edward, we were spending some time in the Arizonian desert," she continued. I closed my eyes as a strong wave of despair washed over me again. I knew exactly where this was going and my heart went out to her. "There were three of them," she said, changing her words when she realized I knew what she was going to say. "And they killed them all."

I swallowed thickly. "Tanya, I'm so sorry," I whispered, reaching out and placing my hand on her knee. I felt her cold skin through her ripped jeans. Even in her despair, she looked beautiful; a mourning angel.

"That wasn't even the worst part," she said numbly. "The worst part was; I ran. I ran when I realized we didn't have a hope in Hell's chance of us all getting out alive. I left them all; Kate, Irina, Carmen, Eleazer."

She looked at me, her face crinkled slightly. If she was human she would have had silent tears streaming down her face.

"I couldn't leave you to face that," she whispered. "And as much as I would have loved to be there to comfort a distraught Edward over your death, I couldn't run away. Not again."

I ignored the fact she didn't save me for me because, after everything that had happened and what she had been through, Tanya deserved a little bit of selfishness.

"Do you still want to die?" I asked her.

She sighed and looked skyward, strands of her blonde hair matted with blood fell over her shoulder. "I don't know," she admitted. "I suppose you humans are lucky in one sense; you don't get to choose how or when you die. Well, most of the time." She looked back at me, her eyes faraway. "I've forgotten what it's like to be human."

"Do you want me to tell you?" I asked.

She cocked her head to the side, a sad smile playing on her lips. "I'd like that," she nodded.

I took a deep breath and opened up my senses. "It sort of feels like drowning most of the time. You're not in control of a lot of things and that's not just because of the Vampires but because of your limitations." I closed my eyes. "I can't hear anything passed this forest because my hearing is limited." I opened my eyes again. "And I can't see passed a couple dozen trees because my eyesight isn't strong enough; the only thing I can smell is what's in the air around me." I looked at her, smiling just as sadly. "But it's okay," I said. "Because the world deserves its secrets."

"Hm," Tanya sighed. "And some things should have stayed secret too."

"What do you mean?" I asked, conscious of what she was hinting at.

"Like us," she explained. "The time before the Volturi established themselves may have been feral but it gave humans a chance to rule themselves. Oh, the things they came up with, Bella! They had scientists just like we have but they learned everything they knew in one lifetime; musicians who only had one lifetime to practice and play; storytellers with only one lifetime's worth of stories to tell! Of course, they fought amongst themselves like wild animals, murdering their own. Still, they never ceased to amaze me, to amaze us." She sighed again. "What I wouldn't give to go back there again…"

I wanted her to say more, wanted to learn everything about the time before Vampires and werewolves and shape-shifters were revealed to the world. But before I could ask she said, "You should go. The L.W.C will be here soon."

She held out her hand and I deposited the rings in the centre of her palm. She held it up between her forefinger and thumb. It was odd, the ring being passed from Edward to me to Tanya. I was suddenly reminded of how the three of us were linked just like Emily, Sam and Leah. I wondered if they had found peace yet like we had; if they ever would.

"You look after him, Bella," Tanya said. She didn't need to be more specific than that.

I nodded, words failing me. I got to my feet slowly and began walking away. The air felt so silent suddenly, leaves crunching under my feet seemed to echo around the dark wood. I turned one last time to find Tanya sitting patiently amongst the remains of the werewolf, her legs cross under her, her face skyward, peaceful. My last image of her; a victorious warrior surrounded by a monster's remains, never to be forgotten.

(*)

After half an hour of walking, I found Alice. She stood there, her hand over her mouth and her ruby eyes wide.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "There was nothing I could do. I don't see the werewolves or the shape-shifters and when I saw your future disappear, I thought you were with that shifter friend of yours. It was only when I saw the L.W.C coming up here that I…"

I silenced her by stumbling into her arms. She must have smelled the state I was in but nevertheless she brought her arms around me too.


	19. Aftermath

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**19. Aftermath**

The girl in the mirror looked back at me, scars littered across her face with some open-wound scratches from the branches she'd run into trying to escape. Her hair was a mess of twigs and leaves and her eyes were rimmed from crying. But she was alive.

This wasn't me.

Nobody survived a werewolf attack twice. Most didn't even survive the first time…at least, not human they didn't. I couldn't be so lucky. I refused to believe it. Somewhere along the line the other boot was going to fall and I was waiting for it. I would be ready.

Rosalie had given me some of her clothes to wear seeing as Alice's would be too small. The pink shirt was slightly baggy where I lacked in the chest area and I'd had to fold the jeans up slightly but they were warm, comfy and dry and that was all I wanted.

Padding barefoot down the stairs, I found Alice, Esme and Rosalie talking in hushed tones at the same table I'd sat at when I first came here. I couldn't make out what they were saying as they spoke in Vampire speed and they shut up when I sat down on the chair next to Alice, opposite Esme and Rosalie.

"How are you, dear?" Esme asked gently, leaning across the table. She smiled, her face warm and motherly.

"Fine," I croaked, my throat dry. Rosalie was out of her seat before I'd even closed my mouth and returned seconds later with a glass of water. I looked at her in surprise.

"We still have plumbing here you know," she said.

I took a sip, enjoying the feeling of the cool liquid soothing my throat.

"It was Carlisle's idea to have plumbing," Esme said, offering me a distraction from my thoughts. "He wanted it just in case humans came and visited. One of his dreams is to see humans and Vampires living side-by-side equally."

"What about werewolves?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Esme looked awkwardly down at the table. I noticed the table was clean of any scratches or graffiti. I guess Vampires were above doodling.

"Well, I think after tonight he'll have a completely different view of them," was all she said.

"We've phoned the guys," Alice spoke up, saving me from dwelling on Esme's cryptic answer. "They should be here soon."

"What did you tell them?" I asked.

"That you were attacked by a werewolf but you are alive and well. We phoned your dad too but we just told him to come straight here," Alice replied. "What happened, Bella?"

I took a deep breath, the air scratching uncomfortably at my throat. "It was Mrs. Cope," I said.

Rosalie and Esme frowned but Alice visibly froze. "You mean the school receptionist?"

I nodded. "She's also in the Association of Angels," I continued. "But she never attends…she never attended the actual meeting." It shocked me slightly that the gentle old woman I'd seen so many times was now dead; that the gentle old woman hadn't even been a gentle old woman but a monster.

"Of course she didn't," Alice realized. "I wouldn't have seen you at the meetings if she had."

I looked at Alice, remembered Edward telling me about the Volturi thinking her Gift was far from perfect. Indeed it was. Still, what good would it have done if Alice could have seen Mrs. Cope? Could she have warned me? _Would _she have warned me? I mentally shook my head. The night's events had left me paranoid. Alice was like family now, all the Vampires of Forks were.

"Why did she come for you then?" Rosalie asked. I looked at her in surprise, having never really considered the question myself. Seeing my look Rosalie said, "Well, I can't imagine it being all because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. She must have come for you right?"

Forgetting Mrs. Cope was dead for a moment, a wad of fear lodged itself in my throat.

"Rosalie," Esme warned, glancing at me.

"Sorry," Rosalie said though she didn't sound it at all. "But I think we need to start thinking about these things. If werewolves are targeting our family then maybe we need to move…"

"We'll talk about this after Bella's finished with her story," Alice said quickly, mirroring Esme by glancing worriedly at me. "Bella?"

I swallowed thickly and continued, "I ran through the back yard and over the fence into the woods. I thought if I could lead it away then it wouldn't hurt anybody else." I looked them all accusingly, "You don't hang mistletoe during full moon."

"There – usually – is never any need to," Esme said quietly.

"Which is telling me even more that this was a targeted attack," Rosalie muttered, almost as though she was talking to herself.

I sighed and threaded my fingers together on my lap to stop them from shaking. "I kept running until I couldn't anymore," I continued, unable to control the shaking in my voice. "And that was when I saw Tanya."

"Tanya?" they all repeated, shock and confusion written all over their faces.

I nodded. "She practically jumped over me to get to…the beastie." There was no response to that. It seemed they were all dumbstruck. "She grappled with it for a bit before Jacob turned up."

"Jacob?" Alice repeated. "Your shape-shifter friend?"

I nodded. "They used my ring," I held up my naked hand. "It was silver and Tanya must have thrown it with a force–"

"The same as a gun," Rosalie finished, the whole story coming together in her mind. I nodded.

"She let Jacob go but stayed to take full responsibility."

Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "Well, that's a turnaround," she noted.

"What will happen to her?" I asked. Rosalie and Alice shared a glance before turning to Esme.

Esme sighed. "The best that can happen now is they take her to Volterra and destroy her straight away but if the case is seen as suspicious and they take her to Aro…"

"He'll be able to see what really happened along with the situation with her and Edward," Rosalie finished.

"So she's dead either way then," I realized, defeated. Rosalie looked surprised for a second as though she had expected me to rejoice in Tanya's end.

"We won't definitely know what they'll do until a few days have passed," Alice told me. "I'll keep watch."

Before I could thank her, Charlie same running in. His face was red and he was panting as though he'd run all the way from the station.

"Bella?"

"Dad!" I cried, running over to him and throwing my arms around him. "Dad, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" he asked. "Bella, what's happened? Mrs. Whitlock phoned me at the station and said I had to come straight here."

I sniffled. "I was attacked, Dad," I explained. "By another werewolf," I added.

Charlie paled and wavered on his feet slightly. Esme was behind him instantly, guiding him into a chair. "They don't come up here," he was muttering to himself. "I swear they don't, Bella. If I'd known…"

"It wasn't your fault, Dad," I said. "And I'm okay. It's over now. The house is probably in a worse state though. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize over a bloody house, Bells," he practically growled. "As long as you're okay then that's all that matters. Where is it now?"

"It's dead, Dad," I explained. "A…nomad Vampire killed it."

"On his own?" he asked, bewildered.

I thought of Tanya, sitting amongst the remains of her kill. "She used silver," I explained.

"Silver? Charlie repeated. "Good God, Bells, do you know how lucky you are?"

"I do, Dad," I said, thinking of Tanya and her disastrous fate, of Jacob and the secret he will have to carry for the rest of his life. "Believe me, Dad, I do."

"Would you like some water?" Esme offered. "I'm afraid it's all we've got here."

"That would be lovely," Charlie replied, cradling his head in his hands. "Water would be superb, thanks."

One minute I was staring at my broken father and the next I was hauled into the air, feeling the wind leave my lungs as something tightened around my chest.

"I thought I'd lost you," Edward babbled. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry."

I had to hit him a few times to let him know I needed air before he finally released me. His eyes moved rapidly as he scanned my face, my open wounds.

"Oh crap, sorry," I said, stumbling back and holding a hand to my face.

"For what?" Edward asked.

"I'm bleeding," I muttered.

Charlie frowned. "Does that matter?" he asked.

From behind him Alice shook her head slightly, glaring at me.

"No," I said. "No, it's just a bit messy that's all." Charlie didn't need to know that Vampires craved blood outside the Blood Bank. He could go on living in peaceful ignorance. "I'll go and clean up." I hurried from the others for the stairs, eager to get away before Carlisle and the others arrived. I was on the second floor before Edward caught up with me.

"I couldn't bear to watch you leave me," he said, holding me to him more gently this time.

Part of me was nervous to be near him whilst my scratches were still bleeding slightly but if Alice, Rosalie and Esme had been fine…

"I don't know where I'm going anyway," I told him, smiling. "There's no bathroom in this place."

He smiled back, tense. "Follow me," he said, taking my hand and leading me slowly up staircase after staircase. His grip was tighter than usual, my hand ached slightly but I didn't dare complain. It was actually sort of comfortable in a mental sense, the security of having him so near.

It felt like we were in the furthest corner of the house when he stopped outside a door at the end of the hallway. The place felt eerily silent.

"What about them downstairs?" I asked.

"Alice, Rosalie and Esme will be filling Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle in. I'm sure they'll be looking after your father too."

Edward opened the door and led me into a room that seemed to fit right into a 'hotel'. A large double bed dominated the centre and a small room led off into a…

"Is that a bathroom?" I asked, walking over and pushing the ajar door fully open.

"Yes it is," Edward said. His voice didn't sound right though. He should have been beaming, proud to show me something human that the hotel had. Instead he sounded empty, worried. I turned to find his expression matched his voice. Before I could even think of something to say to comfort him he said, "Tell me what happened."

"Don't you already know?" I asked, tapping the side of my head to refer to his Gift.

"I didn't listen," he admitted, shaking his head. "I was too busy trying to get to you and besides, I want to hear it from you. I need to know you're okay, that it's in the past."

I sighed and pushed him over to bed. It took a few seconds but he soon realized what I wanted and sat down, his weight making the bed dip more than it should have. I crawled onto his lap and let him cradle me as I told him everything. It was odd but having told the tale twice already it was starting to seem like it had all happened to somebody else. I was just recounting a story that I had heard.

"I should have been here," Edward seethed.

"No you shouldn't have," I said. "If it had just been you and it then it would have killed you and you know that. Stop trying to be a martyr."

What I had said seemed to surprise him for a second and his angry façade slipped slightly…but just for a second.

"There are so many things that I can't give you, Bella," he told me sincerely. "I can't give you children–"

"I don't want kids."

"–I can't marry you, or grow old with you," he continued as though I hadn't spoken. "I can't even walk around in public with you for risk of being seen without Tanya." He stopped and made the same face Charlie had made before when his face had drained of color – only Edward's face was already drained of color.

"If Aro sees Tanya…" Edward whispered.

"I know," I said quickly, stroking his face in an effort to calm him down. "Alice told me all about it but we won't know anything for the next couple of days. Alice said she would keep a look-out."

"Bella, if Aro does see Tanya," he began but I interrupted him.

"I don't want to hear about that," I said definitely. "Let's not think about it for the next couple of days, please?" I kissed him, hoping to distract him. "I thought I was going to lose you tonight," I told him quietly. "I thought the last time I would see you would be when you ran away from me to Canada with your friends."

"No," he said. "No, not in that sense, Bella. I'd never leave you like that unless you asked me to."

I smiled down at him. "That's nice to know," I said. "You know I'd never leave you either, right?"

"It's nice to hear you say it," he whispered, his breath washing over my face.

Slowly I brought our hands down between us and started to unbutton his shirt. He gasped and pulled away, suddenly breathing heavily for a being who didn't even need air.

"Bella, don't tempt me," he said, his eyes pleading.

"Did you talk with your brothers?" I asked, toying with the buttons again. I realized I should be more seductive, should act like I know what I'm doing but I don't. Tonight wasn't about being sexy or seductive. It was about him being close to me and I needed to feel close to him more than I ever had before.

"A little," he said. "But not as much as I would have liked." He stopped my wandering hands. "Bella, I'm not sure anymore. Before I was being selfish – there are risks we need to consider here."

"What did they say?" I asked, put-out he was ruining everything. I didn't want to have to worry about risks – I just wanted to _be _with him. Why couldn't he see that?

"They said…well I think…" He took a deep breath and started again. "They said it might be too…intense, that I might hurt you."

I laughed once, a sharp humorless laugh. "Believe me, Edward," I said. "You can't hurt me anymore than I've already been hurt tonight." I leaned in and kissed his lips. "I need to feel close to you," I whispered. "Please, I need you. I love you."

He dropped my hands and kissed me back, harder than he'd ever done before but still I could feel the hesitance in how he moved. I knew he was holding back a part of him he could never unleash on me.

"I love you too," he rasped, gently moving us over so he was hovering above me as I lay down on the bed. He reached up and wiped my cheek, his hand coming away red. I gasped. "Don't worry," he said. "I nearly lost you tonight – the last thing I want to do is rip your throat out."

I giggled, unable to help myself. "Very sexy," I observed. Edward smiled, wiping the traces of blood onto the duvet.

"It's nice to hear you laughing again," he said.

"Hmm," I agreed, working on his shirt again.

Slowly we undressed one another, our actions a mixture of awkward fumbling and smooth movements.

It was odd, being so close and personal with him like this and not even really noticing how inhuman he was; how icy his skin was to the touch; how odd the color of his eyes were up close. There wasn't that much separating us really in terms of differences. Looking back, I anger myself at how stupid I was to paint every Vampire with the same brush. Not every Vampire relished in controlling the humans just as not every human relished in the attacks against the Vampires.

Sliding under the covers was like slipping into our own world. A world where there were no vampires and no humans just…us.


	20. Another Interview

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**20. Another Interview**

I woke up the next day, blinking away the unfamiliarity of the room, to find myself lying with my head on Edward's arm. He was looking down at me, a lazy grin painted on his face. Last night's memories came flooding back to me, almost as fast as the blood flooded to my face. I dug my face in my pillow, embarrassed but unsure what I was embarrassed about.

"Hey," Edward soothed, stroking my hair. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," I mumbled into my pillow.

"Then why are you hiding?"

I sighed and forced myself to look up at him. A genuine crease formed between his heavy eyebrows. "Did they hear?" I asked.

The crease vanished. It was obvious I didn't have to elaborate further. He knew what I was talking about. "We're in a house full of Vampires, Bella, what do you expect?"

I groaned, mortified, and buried my head again.

"I don't know why it's bothering you though," he said. "It's not like your father heard."

"Oh, thank God!" I cried, relieved. I hadn't even considered Charlie. "Where is he now?"

"Esme set up a room for him," Edward replied. "Far away from this one."

I groaned again. "I'm never going to be able to look at them again!" I complained.

"Don't be like that," Edward said, caressing my side. I became aware that I was very naked as was he. "It's a good job they were here. If I'd have hurt you in any way then they would have stopped me."

I thought back to everything that had happened, feeling myself blush more. "You didn't hurt me though," I realized.

"You may be bruised slightly," he said, using his hand to turn me over onto my stomach. I was aware of him inspecting me the way I inspected meat at the Thriftway before I bought it. "I may have gripped you too tightly when I–"

"Bella!" Alice's voice called through the door.

I shrieked, flipping over and pulling the covers further up as though Alice was in the room.

"Bella, Angela's here," she said. "She wants to talk to you."

"Angela?" I repeated, shocked. "What's she doing here?"

"She won't say," Alice said. "There's a change of clothes out here for you." She walked away then, her footsteps echoing on the wooden floor.

I dove out of bed, and hurried to the door. I was certain Alice would make sure the coast was clear whilst I retrieved them, but nevertheless I grabbed the clothes and shut the door again in less than two seconds. When I turned back to the bed, Edward was watching at me.

I knew it would have been prude for me to flee to the bathroom to change after everything we'd done so I simply angled my body away from him, trying to ignore his stare the best I could. I'd changed into the jeans and T-shirt Alice had given me and Edward had still yet to say something.

"So," I said, desperate to break the silence between us. Fully dressed, I walked over and sat down on the bed beside him. He just watched me, his eyes following me intensely. "Was it…as you imagined?" I asked. I'd been planning on saying 'better than with Tanya' but that felt wrong given the situation she was in.

Edward swallowed thickly. "Better," he said, his voice hoarse. "I can't even describe it. It was…I'm speechless."

I couldn't help but grin. "Well then," I said, patting his cheek. "You think of some words and I'll go and see what Angela wants."

I left him still in the bed, staring after me. Thinking of Tanya brought back memories of last night and I didn't want Edward to notice how upset I still was.

Angela was waiting for me outside the front door, chewing furiously on her bottom lip. It was something she did when she was anxious; a habit we both shared.

"Hey," I said. "I take it you heard?"

She nodded. "I'm so sorry, Bella," she said.

"Why?" I asked. "It's not like it was your fault. Come on inside and we'll talk." I turned and walked back into the foyer only to discover Angela wasn't following me.

"I can't go in there," she said.

"Why not?" I asked.

She swallowed. "It's a premise for Vamps, Bella. Why would I want to go in there? I'm surprised you spent the night here. You should have called me." Her tone was one of disgust and it made my blood boil.

"If you heard the full story from last night," I told her. "Then you'll know it was a Vampire who saved my life!"

"Vampire?" she questioned. "There you go again. What happened to 'Vamp'?"

I stood there for a moment, playing out different scenarios in my head. I silently asked Alice not to interfere on this one. I wanted to make the decision for myself.

"Fine, we'll talk outside," I said, stepping out into the cool May air. The streets were deserted as we walked through them to the park. I knew they would be. There'd been a werewolf in Forks last night. Despite the full moon being long gone, I couldn't imagine anybody wanting to step out of the supposed safety of their houses.

We walked to the park in silence; Angela worrying her lip, and me silently fuming at her for being so rude about the Vampire Hotel. When we did eventually reach the park, we sat down on a bench. We were the only two in the area, the silence thickened.

"I really am sorry," Angela said, being the first to break it.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for," I said, tiredly. "I suppose I'm the one who should be apologizing."

Her eyes widened. "What for?" she asked.

I sighed. "I've been keeping something from you, Angela," I said. "And I think it's time you knew."

"Knew what?"

I could almost feel the before me – the one before the second attack – screaming at me to stop. But last night made me realize how much Angela meant to me. She was the first friend I ever made and the only one who truly understood and shared my hatred for the Vamps. And, despite that strong hatred no longer being there, I still felt I owed a lot to her.

Including an explanation.

Plus I was so tired with keeping it a secret. I loved Edward and, though I could never tell Angela who he was or introduce her to him, I wanted to prove I loved him by making sure people knew about it as much as they could.

"I'm Mated," I told her.

Angela's jaw dropped and her face paled. She almost looked like she was going to throw up and I scooted away from her slightly. She grabbed my wrist, stopping me. "That's not funny," she hissed. "Don't joke about things like that."

I winced and pulled my arm free, rubbing at my wrist and wondering whether it would bruise.

Her reaction should have scared me but instead it angered me. Her hatred for Vampires and everything to do with them was enough to make me almost hate her in that instant. She didn't know _every _Vampire in the world so who was she to judge?

It hurt to realize looking at Angela was like looking at the before me. The me who I was before I moved to Forks; the me who was so rude to the Vampire doctor who helped me learn how to walk again; the me who practically spat in the face of the L.W.C Leader. It wasn't their fault. They were being controlled too; we all were.

We are all pawns in a game controlled by strategic players in Italy.

"I'm not joking," I told Angela, calmly, collectively. She looked as though she was about to breathe fire through her nostrils. Her shoulders rose and fell with every angered breath. "I'm Mated to a Vampire and I love him more than anything else in the world."

She slapped me; hard across the face. It made my head jerk to the side, almost colliding with the back of the bench seat. Gingerly, I lifted my hand to my face and placed it on the sore spot. It burned like the tears in my eyes. Tears of shock and betrayal, not pain. I could never cry from pain after what I'd been through.

"May God have mercy on you," she hissed, almost spitting at me. Then she got up and walked away.

I watched her blurred image fade and disappear round the corner. I stood there, unsure what to feel. Relief that I didn't have to hide anymore? Shock from Angela's betrayal? Was it even betrayal? She was loyal to the Association before she even met me.

Slowly I rose to my feet and was about to go back to the Hotel when I remembered Charlie's house. I wondered what state it was in; what damage the werewolf had caused.

The werewolf. Oh God. Mrs. Cope! Did Angela know? Surely she must have – all the Angels were close to one another somehow. But if they knew about Mrs. Cope being a werewolf then did they know about James' Mating? Surely not if that was how Angela had reacted when I'd told her about me. And weren't they against werewolves like they were Vampires?

My head spun. I'd missed my chance to get answers. I doubted Angela would ever talk to me again. I just hoped she wouldn't do anything stupid that would somehow expose Edward. I was glad I had kept his name from her now.

Just as I was about to fall back to the bench in dizziness, a hand reached out and grabbed me. Alice. I could tell by the cold hardness and the thin wrist.

"The L.W.C are coming to the Hotel soon," she said. "They want to talk to you."

I looked at her, my eyes blurring again, before I collapsed against her. She held me for a few seconds, letting me cry before she gently reminded me that we had to hurry. She picked me up and bridal style and ran my back to the Hotel. I didn't bother to hide me face since it was only a short journey, and the burn of the wind against my face made me feel…alive.

Back at the Hotel, Esme was there to help me into a seat. Charlie sat next to me, leaning towards me in an act of fatherly comfort.

"Now you just answer their questions, Bells," he said. "And everything will be alright."

I nodded, desperate to believe it. Of course there was very little chance we would get away with it all – as long as Tanya didn't come into contact with Aro. Still, facing the L.W.C again gave me a horrible feeling of déjà vu. Only this time I wasn't swathed in bandages and filled with hate.

They arrived and sent everybody out of the room, leaving us alone; me, one Vampire and one human. The Vampire sat opposite me, the human sat next to him scribbling down everything we said. With each scratching of his pencil, his black sleeve slipped slightly showing me his red band.

"Can you take us through exactly what happened on the night of May the 28th?" the Vampire – Gordon his nametag read – asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes; it was only last night but of course they had to make it all official.

So I told them everything – well, almost everything. I told them Mrs. Cope had visited me rather than I had come home to find her on my doorstep. I didn't want them to ask where I had been coming from. I had to protect Edward. I told them I knew Mrs. Cope from school. I didn't mention the Association. If they wanted to come forward about that then that was up to them but I wouldn't betray them.

It wasn't that they still had my loyalty. No, there were just some things that I decided would be better if I sorted them out myself.

When they were finished, he regarded me coolly. I felt very transparent then, as if he could see through my lies, as if he was watching what had really happened the night before play out in front of him.

"Miss Swan," he sighed. "Given the circumstances, we'd normally be obliged to offer compensation."

I sensed a 'but' coming. This time I was prepared. When they'd talked about compensation back in Phoenix I'd actually gotten my hopes up until they'd shot them down by saying we weren't entitled because of my 'careless actions' and the 'damage' Renee and Phil had caused. I often wondered what happened to that werewolf, whether it remembered anything when the sun came up and it shrunk back into its human façade. I wondered if it had hurt anyone else since. I tried not to think about it too much.

"But, as I'm sure you can see, the death of the werewolf deems fit to be seen as compensation enough."

I didn't protest at the unfairness like I would have done a year ago; I didn't spit in their eye and scream for justice. Instead I took it like the adult I now was. I looked Gordon the Vampire in the red ruby eyes and said, "Yes, I understand."

"We'd like a word with Charles Swan now, if you don't mind," he said. No sympathies. No apologies. That was how they worked; detached and straight to the point. Even the human seemed to have gotten the act right. I saw no emotion for me in his brown eyes; he'd seen it all before.

I nodded and left the room. Everybody was crowded in the foyer, waiting for me expectantly. Alice silently shook her head at me – this wasn't the place to talk.

"Dad, they want to talk to you," I told him.

He looked surprised at first but then realization dawned on him. "Fair enough," he said. "I suppose they want to throw it in my face how I'll have to pay for the repairs myself."

I watched him go, whispering, "I'm sorry," after him.

Alice hugged me. I was about to tell her that I wanted Edward but changed my mind at the last minute. She must have seen me ask though because she gently shook her head; now wasn't that time.

I heard Charlie raise his voice but the walls were too thick to make out what he was saying.

After a few minutes, the L.W.C members came out, bid us goodbye and left. I rushed into the Games Room to find Charlie with his head in his hands.

"Exactly what I thought," he muttered. "I don't know why I expected anything more."

"We'd be happy to help fund the repairs," Alice offered, placing a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Jasper and I have some money stored from the investments we've made over the years."

Charlie sighed and raised his head. He looked directly at me, "I'm sorry, Bells," he said. "The important thing is that you're safe, I know."

"It's okay, Dad," I said. "Did they say how much it would cost?"

He looked at me, his face pained. I knew then that it was far more than he could ever afford.

"Let me get you a drink," Carlisle offered. The others had been standing there, taking in the situation. Rosalie and Emmett were holding onto one another. I didn't know who was comforting who. Esme was fluttering around everyone like a mother hen. Jasper stood tall, his chin high as he watched his wife offer Charlie some of their money. I shied away from him, his background in the Volturi and his Gift made me wary of him. We'd yet to be properly introduced. He wasn't what I had expected though; too lean and gentleman-like.

Edward was nowhere to be seen.

"No, Carlisle, you're alright," Charlie said, waving his hand. "I need to make a few calls. I know a friend in Seattle who could…" His voice trailed off as he disappeared with Carlisle to the phone in the foyer.

"Where's Edward?" I asked.

"Upstairs, dear," Esme answered, looking me over. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I replied, already hurrying to the stairs.

Opening the – our – bedroom door, I expected him to still be naked in bed. However, he was dressed and sat on the edge of the bed as though waiting for me. I closed the door behind me and strode over to him, letting him wrap me in his arms in a way that felt so much better than when Alice had done it at the park.

"Alice told me about Angela," he said, stroking my hair. "And I heard what the L.W.C said."

"How did they not know you were here?" I asked.

"I kept quiet," he said. "It doesn't matter though. The Vampire didn't know Tanya was supposed to be Mated."

"Where is she now?"

Edward didn't answer so I repeated my question. And again until he sighed so deeply that I was forced to pull away from him and look him in the eyes.

"They've decided to keep her," he said. "Alice sees her locked in a cell for a couple of days while they decide whether the case is suspicious enough to take to Aro."

"Oh God," I said, panic rising in me.

"Ssh," Edward soothed. "It's okay. It just means it hasn't gone as easily as we would have liked but there's a chance it will still work out."

"Is there any way we can save her?" I asked.

"No," Edward said definitely. "That's one thing we are sure of." I wanted to tell him about Tanya losing her friends to a werewolf but couldn't bring myself to. I felt it was something she had told me in confidence, something I would take to my grave.

"I want to see my house," I said. "I want to see what it did."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Edward asked.

I nodded. "I want closure."

He ran me over to what was left of my house. The place was deserted. The L.W.C had finished their investigation and had left Charlie and me to pick up the pieces. And what pieces it was. From my spot beside Edward on the drive I could see into the living room, through the kitchen and into the backyard where the back fence had been crumpled leading into the forest beyond. Upstairs creaked in protest; an injured being missing a limb. It would fall soon. I wasn't afraid. I just stood there, numb. Edward gripped my hand and I closed my eyes, breathing in the dusty air and a scent I had never smelled before.

Closure.


	21. Chaos

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**21. Chaos**

Charlie decided to leave for Seattle that afternoon.

"I've managed to snag some time off," he said. "It means doing extra when I get back but at least I'll have a home to go to."

"Why are you even going to Seattle?" I asked.

"I know a friend who can do the building work for me," he said. "It'll be cheaper than anything I can get round here."

"We'd happily do the building work, Chief Swan," Jasper offered, appearing beside me. I flinched and he apologized, calling me 'ma'am' and cocking his head to the side. I shied away from him, something about Jasper unnerved me. The three of us stood in the foyer, the open door blowing in a warm spring breeze. Still the streets were dead outside.

"Thank you for the offer," Charlie said, sounding genuinely touched. "But this friend of mine really needs the work. I think we could help each other out here."

Jasper nodded. "Very well."

"But why do you have to go to Seattle?" I asked. "Why couldn't your friend just come here?"

Charlie looked me in the eyes and placed a hand on my cheek. "I need to get away from it all, Bella," he said. "Just for a few days. You're welcome to come if you'd like. I think a few days away would do you good."

I seriously considered it but decided to stay – for Edward. I couldn't bare the pain of being apart from him for nearly a week. "No, I think I'll stay," I said.

"I thought you would," Charlie side, smiling. He looked in the direction of the stairs and I saw Edward stood there, watching me. I knew from the look on his face that he thought I would agree with my dad and leave him. I gave him a reassuring smile.

"You look after my daughter, sir," he said, ever the respectful human.

"I promise, Chief," Edward said, ever the respectful Vampire. He joined us by the door and held out his hand. Charlie shook it, the promise thick in the air around them.

"See you soon, Bella," he said. I gave him a hug and he picked up his bags, thanked Jasper and Edward for their hospitality – he'd already thanked the others many times – and left.

The door closing behind him echoed in the foyer, a final whisper.

(*)

The next day I woke up next to Edward again. This time we were both fully clothed though Edward seemed to be on a mission to change that. I smiled lazily as he kissed up and down my neck, rubbing my side and making the shirt Alice had saved from Charlie's house ride up slightly.

"Edward," I complained. "Let me sleep."

"You've been sleeping for hours," he replied, his breath hot on my neck. "You're driving me crazy."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, because I'm really channeling Marilyn Monroe in this get-up," I retorted, smiling genuinely and feeling so light.

Edward ignored me, turning me over so he could kiss along my neck. I froze.

"Don't worry," he murmured. "I could never hurt you for your blood – not after nearly losing you."

I pushed his head away and he complied so we were both looking into each other's eyes. I saw the worry in them then, the fear he had felt on Friday night that he had kept hidden from me.

"Don't worry," I said, throwing his words back at him. "You're not going to lose me."

"I will," he muttered. "One day. Humans have a life span."

My breath caught and I pulled him to me, cradling his head against my chest. "As long as I'm in control," I told him. "You will never lose me."

But what he had said threw me. If we survived the Volturi then I would eventually grow old and leave him. Still, there was nothing I could do about it. The last thing we needed was for me to be turned and for the Volturi to have even more reason to hunt us down.

"I want to go to the Angels meeting today," I said. Edward's head shot up.

"No," he said.

"Why not?" I asked. "You don't know for sure that they knew about Mrs. Cope. At least this way I can find some answers."

"It's dangerous, Bella."

"They can't hurt me," I told him. "It'll be okay."

Still Edward was hesitant. "Let me follow you."

"Too risky," I said. "They'll already know I'm Mated by now. If they see you then they'll just look you up in their massive database that they've made up. They'll find out about you and Tanya."

"Bella, please," he said. "Let me do it for me then. I'll take the risk just to give me some peace of mind."

I hesitated. "Fine," I sighed. "But Alice can always just look and see what happens you know."

"She can't," Edward said. "She's already watching the Volturi's decisions over Tanya. We'll be on our own."

"How exciting," I said. "We'll finally be oblivious as to what the future holds."

Edward rolled his eyes – a habit he'd gotten from me. "Sometimes I think that you think danger is fun, Bella," he said.

"No, I don't," I told him. "It's just that it makes me feel human." Upon saying this, I realized something. "You need to be far away not to read their minds," I said. "I don't want you interfering if you hear something you don't like and then lying to me later about what it was."

"Dammit," Edward cursed. I'd obviously figure out his plan.

"How does this mind-reading work anyway?" I asked. "Which is stronger; your real ears or your mind's ears?"

"My real ones," he said. "I'll be able to hear what they're saying but I won't be able to read their minds."

I thought about that for a second. "Okay, fair enough. So is Aro's Gift like yours then?"

"It's nothing like mine," he protested, angry I had drawn similarities between them. "He knows everything about a person through physical contact."

"So we really would be screwed if Aro wanted to see Tanya wouldn't we?"

He didn't answer. His silence was answer enough.

(*)

I walked to the church through the streets of Forks. Edward took the way through the forest so as not to be seen. The others had protested at me going at first, especially with Alice's temporary blindness but they seemed more accepting when they realized Edward was going too. Either they wanted to protect me for Edward's sake and felt Edward was fine with taking responsibility for my safety, or they actually liked me. I was starting to find the latter easier to believe.

There was nobody to greet me in the foyer. It was what I should have been expecting but my heart still beat widely as I walked up the path. Silly thoughts flitted through my head, pecking at my brain like angry birds. What if Mrs. Cope had survived? What if she was telling the others right now what had happened? If that happened then it would be like a domino effect; Jacob would be caught, Tanya would bring Edward down who in turn would probably bring me down too. Whether the Volturi actually killed me for being with a 'Mated' Vampire or not, my life would still end so long as Edward wasn't there.

I hurried through the empty foyer and down the cold, drafty hallways of the church until I found the room I was looking for; the meeting room. To say they were surprised to see me enter was an understatement.

"Bella!" The pastor was the first to recover from shock, his voice a couple of octaves too high as he tried to compose himself. "What a surprise! We weren't expecting you here today."

I strode confidently towards the circle. There was no chair for me to sit down on. It was like they'd washed their hands of me. Angela wouldn't look at me but she was the only one. The others faced me with burning anger, especially James.

And then it fell into place.

"Oh God," I breathed. "Mrs. Cope was your grandmother." I stared at him, my mouth agape. "But, surely, you must have known what she was."

A heavy silence filled the room. Another piece of the puzzle.

"You all knew," I realized. "How come I was never told? A little warning would have been nice."

"You were a victim of a werewolf attack," the pastor explained to me. "You wouldn't have understood."

"Understood what?" I asked.

"What we were doing," Eric took over the reins. "Bella, the first time you were here we told you that werewolves could kill Vamps."

"Yes," I said, nodding slowly.

"Well that's what we were doing," the pastor said, taking over with a sharp glance at Eric. "We were training a werewolf to rid Forks of Vamps."

It was exactly the same idea Edward and I had talked about weeks earlier. The madness of it all made me laugh out loud. "Are you stupid?" I asked. "You can't train werewolves – they're uncontrollable at full moon! I'm from Arizona, I could have told you that!"

"They're not completely wild!" Eric said defensively. It was obvious how he was the mastermind behind all this. "We were using James to get through to her. We worked out that a blood relative might be able to control them."

"So who came first?" I asked, scanning the group. I noticed Harry looking at me as though I was dirt. "Mrs. Cope or James?"

"Mrs. Cope," the pastor said, confused. He glanced at James who was still glaring at me. "James only joined us a few months before you."

I looked at James. "Mrs. Cope was scratched by the werewolf that killed her husband wasn't she?" I asked. James narrowed his eyes then nodded slowly.

"Excuse me, Bella," Bernard, the frail old man, spoke for the first time. "But what exactly are you doing here. I'm sure you could have worked out for yourself that we don't accept sluts of demons."

I shot a panicked glance to the only window in the room, praying that Edward would let the comment drop. I wasn't done yet.

"Fair enough," I said. "But why is James here then?"

"Shut up," James growled almost as soon as I'd gotten my words out.

"What are you talking about?" the pastor asked, casting confused glances between James and me. Even Angela was looking at us both now, trying to work out what I had meant.

"Oh, you didn't know?" I feigned surprise. "James is Mated to a lovely Vampire by the name of Victoria."

"She's lying!" James yelled, spit flying from his mouth. His eyes were crazed, panicked. He stood up so fast he sent his chair flying over backwards.

"No I'm not!" I screamed back. I lowered my voice, "Please, James, calm down," I said. "I just want to know why you're still here if you can have a better life with her."

The room fell silent again. James was visibly shaking.

"A better life?" he asked through gritted teeth. He looked at me, his eyes so full of hatred I had to fight the urge to step back. "See what they've done to you?" he asked. "Before you Mated I bet you hated them as much as I did; they're nothing but controlling monsters."

He stopped, waiting for me to answer. The rest of the Angels seemed to wait with baited breath. I nodded, showing I knew what he was talking about.

"But then you met them didn't you? That one person who Fate decides you're going to be perfect with and you have no control over it."

I nodded again, feeling my anger melt away from me. I'd never expected this, never expected to understand James' turmoil so greatly.

"She wouldn't leave me alone," he said, his voice fading to a whimper. "And I didn't like being without her. But I don't want to be one of them."

"That's why you're still here isn't it?" I asked.

James nodded. "If I could make her human then I would but I can't. I…was hoping that if I stayed away long enough…"

"The pain would fade," I finished for him. I placed a hand over my heart, feeling Edward close by.

James nodded, and then – just like that – his vulnerability faded away. He gritted his teeth again, his eyes ablaze as he took a step towards me.

"And then she found_ you _and she told you about us," he hissed. "Everything would have been fine if you hadn't have found out!"

"No it wouldn't," I said, my voice so quiet. "It's not something you can run from James." I smiled slightly, realizing I had quoted Edward without consciously knowing about it.

"Yes it is!" he said. "Humans soon get over it!" I opened my mouth to argue but he continued, "So I had to get rid of you."

My stomach dropped along with the final penny. "It was you," I realized. "You sent Mrs. Cope round to my house on full moon."

"She was really mad," he said. "She couldn't understand how I could love one of them but she was willing to help me."

The pastor stood up then, reminding me that James and I weren't the only two people in the room.

"You sinner!" he cried, pointing at James. "Not only have you betrayed us but you endangered the town!"

"I only sent her after Bella," James argued.

"You know as much as I do that if the demon's slut hadn't led it into the forest, that werewolf would have killed the whole neighborhood and more!"

"I had to take that risk!" James yelled back.

"You were in denial," I muttered but my voice was unheard as they continued to yell. He'd flirted with me, carried on shouting hate about Vampires because he couldn't accept what had happened to him. I realized that, like James, I had been very much in denial about everything with me and Edward. It was a shock to the system to realize that had I not come round to it then I would have ended up like him, crazed and living a lie. Amongst all this I found myself feeling sorry for Victoria. I couldn't imagine rejecting Edward the same way James had rejected her.

Suddenly the door to the room flew off its hinges and there stood Edward, glaring at the group with his lip pulled back over his teeth.

I stared at him in shock as did the rest of the Angels.

"Edward," I said, slowly approaching him. "Edward, what are you…"

I didn't get to finish. Before I could even take another breath, Edward leapt from the doorway at James.

There was no shouting like we had been doing before. Shouting was a very human thing to do. It meant that we needed to be heard. Vampires don't need to be heard. Edward got his point across easily just by sinking his teeth into James' neck. I looked away, unable to take in the horror of it all, unable to admit to myself that that was my Mate.

We lie to ourselves every day. We tell ourselves that the only way the Vampires are monsters is because they control us, they treat us like second-class citizens. But we deny the fact that it could be a lot worse. We hide from the reality that the Vampires are so much stronger than us; that in the Dark Ages before the Volturi enforced laws we were hunted almost to extinction by them.

And hearing the wet snap of James' neck suddenly brought all that reality down on me.

There was a beat of silence. And then the screaming started.

I ran from the room, desperate to get away from it all. The screams followed me down the corridors and into the fresh air. Outside they were dulled by the thick walls of the church and the trees around the building would swallow up any more sound before it reach the neighborhood but still they echoed in my head. They were something I could not escape from nor was the fact that I loved the…Vampire causing this.

Edward had killed James. He was a murderer.

"Bella." His voice cut through me like a knife. I gasped, stumbling away from him with my hands raised high in an attempt to protect myself. "Bella, look at me. I'm sorry."

I choked on a sob that had stuck in my throat. I couldn't face him. Not now. Not yet.

"Stay away from me!" I cried, my voice so morphed with tears that he wouldn't have understood me had he not been a Vampire. Had he not been a monster.

"Bella, I had to do it," he said, pleading. "He tried to kill you – that's what Mates do, they protect each other."

"That's not protecting!" I screamed, finally facing him. He stood there, James' blood drying on his mouth, staining his T-shirt. I fell to my knees, retching on the concrete. I heard him take a step towards me. "Don't come near me!" I cried, my voice a mumbling mess again.

"Bella, please…."

"Stay away from me!" I cried. And then I got up and ran, ran as fast as my legs could take me.

Who said I couldn't run away from it all? I could try at least. I could run until my legs gave way beneath me and then I would use my hands to grip soil and drag my useless body along. Always keeping going, putting distance between us. I had been kidding myself to think I could cope with this. Just an hour ago, thinking of the intimacy we had shared the other night would make me blush and tingle, now it made me gag to the point where I wanted to scratch my own skin off. I hit a clearing in the woods when the pain caught up to me, crippling me to my knees. I sobbed louder, unaware of the dark forms slowly surrounding me.


	22. Cold Awakening

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**22. Cold Awakening**

It was the Angels of course; Harry, Pastor Weber, Eric and Ben. I was outnumbered. Each of them bore a mark of James. His blood had stained them all when Edward had murdered him, throwing his blood from his body.

"What do you want?" I asked them, my voice empty. I didn't recognize it; couldn't recognize this person who I now was. The 'before' me was not ashamed to rage about the prejudice and unfairness in the world, the 'after' me had learnt to accept it and see the positive things, and then there was this version of me. This one whom I didn't even recognize as myself; numb, defeated.

"Your Mate killed a human," Pastor Weber told me in a voice my teacher back at Phoenix had used when she'd said if I didn't work hard I wouldn't be able to Qualify. "A child of God killed by a demon." He shook his head sadly, "Such a waste."

I didn't say anything. But I slowly rose to my feet. I didn't want to have to deal with them now but at the same time I felt I needed to prove a point; I didn't need Edward to look after me. I could handle things by myself.

"James tried to kill me," I reminded them, surprised to find my words were defending Edward in a way as well as me. Odd how we were now so entwined in each other's lives. "Haven't you thought of that?"

"Of course we haven't," Pastor Weber said, stepping forward from the other three. "But he didn't do it personally nor did he succeed."

At that moment, I hated them. All four of them. I wished they would just go away and leave me in peace. I wasn't in any mood to talk. I wanted to shout and scream where only the trees could hear me.

"You know what Edward told me shortly after we got together?" I said, looking Pastor Weber in the eye. He flinched at Edward's name.

"What?" he asked. "What did the Devil tell his little whore?"

I swallowed his insults, refusing to let his silly little words break me. I'd been attacked by two different werewolves and survived both times. I was so much stronger than him.

"He said that the Association of Angels is useless." The pastor's eyes darkened. Behind me, I heard the muttering of Harry, Ben and Eric. "I told him I was with you lot and do you know what he said? He said it didn't matter; that the Association of Angels could do nothing to destroy Vampires! He even laughed at–"

Pastor Weber slapped me, harder than Angela had done. I didn't hold my hand to my face this time. Instead I let the pain burn across my cheek. I didn't want to let him see how much it had hurt me.

"Quiet," he hissed. "We didn't come here to talk."

"Really?" I asked, "Because you've been doing the most of it." Another slap. From behind me I heard the three other men rustling before the pastor grabbed me with surprising strength, holding my hands behind my back and rendering me defenseless.

Before me I saw what all the rustling was about. Whether they be from under their coats or in the jeans' pockets, all three of them had produced an iron bar. I stared at the rusted metal glinting in the early afternoon sun. I tried to take comfort in the fact that all three of them looked unhappy.

"We'd love to have the whole Association here for this," the pastor said, his breath hot in my ear. I squirmed against him but he held me tight. "However, we don't feel it's appropriate for the women to watch and poor old Bernard couldn't run fast enough through the woods."

"Get off me!" I screamed. "This is a sin! Murder is a sin!"

"Ah," Pastor Weber said. Though I could not see him I could feel the smile in his voice. He had been expecting what I had said. "But is it really murder?" he asked as though he were debating on if the setting sun was a yellow or an orange. "After all, one who cohorts with the Devil's children can't really be classed as human, as a child of God can they?"

"Please!" I cried, tears running freely down my face. I could not run; no L.W.C would come to rescue me this time; and Alice wouldn't see it. I was on my own, fighting my own battles. What I had wanted minutes earlier was now turning into my Hell.

Looking back I was ashamed I had resorted to pleading but I was only human, and in that situation instinct kicked in. I couldn't fight so it was either plead or lie down and die. Now I know I chose the stronger option.

"Harry!" I yelled in my last attempt to stop them. "Harry, think of Charlie!"

"Don't you worry about him, Bella," Harry told me but I could tell he was the one least happy about all this. "I'll make sure he's alright." His face was set so grim I wondered if he would ever smile again. Come to think of it, I had never really seen Harry smile before. He was always so guarded, even at Sam and Emily's party with Charlie and Billy.

Emily's party…

Jacob!

"Jacob!" I yelled at Harry. He hesitated, surprised. I wondered if he thought I was calling for Jacob to help. But I wasn't. I was calling to help _him. _"Harry, Jacob helped kill the werewolf," I said urgently as Eric and Ben took a step forward. They paused upon hearing my confession, exchanging looks of surprise. "You have to make sure he keeps his head down. If the Volturi find out…"

I couldn't finish, the thought too horrifying to consider. I hadn't even asked the others how Jacob would be punished.

Harry stopped, seemed to consider what I had said. I saw a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. "Don't worry, Bella," he said, though he seemed to be forcing the words out. "I'll look after him."

It was useless. They didn't view me as human anymore. I was in league with the Devil, a demon's slut. Killing me wouldn't really be killing at all.

The first blow came. I didn't know whether it was from Ben or Eric, didn't know them well enough to decide who would have gotten bored of the conversation more quickly. But, whoever they were, they were strong. My ears rang and my vision blurred. Seeing me as vulnerable, the pastor dropped me and stood back as he watched his men do the work.

Later I knew he would go back to his wife and reassure her that his hands were clean of blood. He had done nothing but let justice be done. He was still innocent; still a man of God.

My screaming stopped after a few minutes of hits, when my last human instinct kicked in and I rolled over and played dead. They stopped soon after, muttering to themselves – or maybe they were shouting, it was hard to tell. I thought they believed my act but a growl from the bushes told me otherwise.

My eyes snapped open. That growl brought back memories; me delivering a basket to a small cottage in the middle of the woods; Mike and Tyler pushing me around outside the Thriftway; standing in the dusty room at the back of the church just less than an hour ago.

Edward.

I tried to see what was happening, but I only heard screams and then footsteps and then more growls. I tried to turn my head but found myself paralyzed, trapped in my own body.

"Bella." His voice. Edward's voice. "Bella, it's me. I didn't kill them, honest. I didn't want to hurt you again. I'm sorry."

I wanted to cry out in relief at his voice. I didn't care what happened to the others, Edward was here and he had saved me. For a brief second I didn't even care that he had murdered somebody. Everything was going to be okay. Selfishness; yet another human trait when it came to survival.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." He was crying, in my blurred vision I could see his body shaking with tearless sobs. "I don't want to lose you."

He was apologizing. He was sorry for killing James.

But then I saw him pull the sleeve of my shirt up, exposing my wrist. I struggled to move my body, to turn away from him. But I couldn't move. I was dying, my only senses left were my sight and hearing and they were fading fast. Edward wasn't apologizing for murdering people, I realized as I watched him pull his lips back over his teeth, he was apologizing for…

Suddenly I found my voice.

"Don't. You. Dare."

(*)

Months ago, I decided that being attacked by a werewolf was the most painful thing imaginable. I was wrong. My eyes clenched shut at the feeling of the fire licking my veins. Edward was right; if they advertised this as being part of becoming a Vampire then nobody would be interested. They would die out. Eventually.

I clawed at my chest, desperate to stop my heart from beating. With every thump it sent more of the venom round my body. Later on I discovered I was screaming in pain for the first day, and it was only when the sun rose the next day that I began to become aware of voices.

"…They've decided…"

"…But what if we…"

"…Nothing we can do…"

Agonizingly slowly, another day past.

"…There was no warning…."

"…But why didn't they…"

"…Don't say anything yet…"

On the last day, I became more aware of things. The flames didn't ebb but my senses were growing stronger. I was lying on silk, soft silk. I couldn't exactly call it comfortable now but I think that was what they were going for – whoever had put it there.

"Bella, it's Edward." His voice broke through the pain smoothly. I couldn't have blocked it out even if I'd tried. "I'm so sorry." He was crying again. I wanted to open my eyes but was afraid that it would shatter the calm I had slowly and painfully pulled over my body. Like some sort of shield.

"I couldn't lose you." He was repeating the same things over and over; an endless cycle to match my endless agony. "Please understand."

I decided when the fire faded that I would rip his throat out.

Several hours later, after my heart had reached its stuttering end, that was exactly what I tried to do. Opening my eyes, they adjusted quickly and more sharply than they ever had before. I was staring at a ceiling, a wooden ceiling with small holes that seemed more for decoration than because of anything else. It gave the place a nice cottage feel.

My mind snapped automatically to a memory so dull and far away I had to concentrate on retrieving it. Edward's cottage. I was in Edward's cottage. However, as I sat up and took in my surroundings I couldn't remember the room. I'd never seen it before; the view outside told me I was on the first floor so obviously it was one of his secret rooms he had never showed me.

There was nothing in the room but the bed I lay on and seven Vampires….or eight if you counted me.

Vampire. I was a Vampire. The last thing I ever wanted to happen to me had finally happened and I knew just who to blame.

They all watched me expectantly, as though I was a toddler about to take my first steps. Their patronizing stares fuelled anger in me that ran through my veins along with the venom. The one I was looking for stood just away from the group, leaning forward slightly, his copper hair standing on end as though he'd spent the last few days running his hands through it constantly.

Before I could pounce, another Vampire blocked him from view. My brain told me it was Jasper.

"Bella, you need to calm down," he told me. "I understand that everything is new to you now but we need you to be calm." His expression didn't flinch when I growled at him, my lip curled back and my eyebrows pulled together.

Jasper turned to look over his shoulder.

"Can you read her mind, Edward?" he asked. "Was Carlisle right?" There was a brief pause that would have gone unnoticed to human ears. But I was no longer human and so the silence dragged on.

"No," _he _said. "She's silent."

Silent! I'd give him silent.

"Bella, no!" Alice cried, leaping for me along with Jasper and the other two males, Emmett and Carlisle. They caught me as I leapt off the bed; their hands gripped me until I couldn't even move. Snarling, I tried to snap at their faces but they kept far enough away.

"Edward, you should go," the blonde one, Rosalie said. "You're just causing more harm than good."

"But–" Edward began. The sound of his voice made me snarl in anger again, cutting him off.

"Come on, dear," a kind voice, Esme said. "We'll give her some time."

The two of them left, the door shutting behind them. Only then did I stop struggling.

"You should have let me have him," I seethed. "He did this to me."

"You were dying, Bella," Carlisle informed me. "He saved your life."

"He ruined me!" I screeched but my voice broke and I found myself…crying? Could someone cry with no tears? It was only more of a reminder of how…broken I was.

"Bella, you need to feed," Jasper told me calmly. I examined the faces around me, every one of them look wary except for him.

"Jasper knows what he's talking about," Alice told me. "Let him help you – he's worked with newborns before."

"Newborns?" I looked toward him for an answer but it was Alice who spoke.

"New Vampires," she explained.

"You won't be able to get blood from the Blood Bank," Jasper told me, calmly and calculated. He would be brilliant in a crisis, I thought and then realized that this was exactly that; a crisis. "You have to feed from animals like Edward–" Another snarl ripped from me. Emmett's hand tensed on my bicep but Jasper continued as though he hadn't heard me, "It would be better for him to take you and teach you but I doubt that would be a good idea." The hostility in my eyes must have let him know that I agreed with him. "So I will take you instead," he decided.

"You want us with you?" Emmett asked, "In case she gets out of control?" I growled at him.

"No," Jasper said, to all our surprise. Even Alice looked shocked. "The less people the easier it will be for her. Besides, I can handle her."

"Newborns are supposed to be strong," Emmett said, sounding as though he was trying to reason with the older Vampire.

"Only because the human blood lingers in their tissues," Jasper answered.

"Well that's alright then," Rosalie chipped in. She'd been watching the scene from a distance, her eyes examining me from head to foot. "Edward did say she'd almost bled out by the time he reached her."

What she had said shocked me so much I didn't even growl at Edward's name. Jasper watched me knowingly.

"That's right," he said. "You were so close to death we didn't even think you had it in you to keep your heart pumping the venom round your body. It was touch-and-go for the first day; your screams let us know you were alive though." They all seemed to wince at that last part.

I tried to say something but the second I opened my mouth, I became aware of the flames engulfing my throat.

"Come," Jasper said, leading the way to the window. "You need to feed."

Emmett, Carlisle and Alice reluctantly let go of me and stood back to watch with Rosalie. I stepped towards Jasper by the window, loving the easy way my legs moved – I hadn't realized how clumsily I had walked before when I was human.

"We're going to jump from the window?" I asked.

Jasper smiled but didn't answer. Instead, he leapt out of the open window and landed easily on the balls of his feet below. I didn't hesitate or I might have chickened out, instead I just followed him. For the brief seconds I was falling, I was aware of the wind rushing past my body, the small roar in my ears and then it was gone and my bare toes were touching soft grass.

"Not bad," Jasper commented.

I sneered at him; I was better than not bad.

Jasper smiled patiently. "You'll be a bit sensitive for a bit," he informed me, walking away from Edward's cottage and into the woods. I followed, careful not to glance back should I catch a glimpse of _him. _I would deal with him once the fire in my throat was quelled.

After walking for a bit, Jasper took up running and I followed. If I'd thought jumping from the window was exciting, it was nothing compared to the exhilaration I felt running. My mind poked at images from when I was human, when I rode on Edward's back as he ran but this was so much better. I didn't choke on the air because I didn't have to breathe, my senses were so fresh I could avoid bugs one by one as they came hurtling towards me, and it felt powerful to have my legs pushing away from the earth with each step I took.

Jasper stopped all too soon and I dug my heels into the earth, coming to a stop beside him.

"I sometimes hunt with Edward for fun," Jasper told me, settling into a hunter's crouch. I followed suit. "He's a lot better at it then me though and animal blood is never as satisfying as human's – even if it is from the Blood Bank."

"I wouldn't know the difference." My eyes caught movement to my far right and I zoned in on it.

"Maybe that's for the best." He took off then, leaping through the trees at the movement I had seen before. A sort of territorial growl ripped through me and I followed him. I was faster, overtaking him and leaping on the elk that had caught both our eyes.

It was a beat too late when it came to fleeing and I tackled it so hard that dirt and grass came up from the earth as we landed. There was no thinking twice as far as my instincts were concerned, my newly strong teeth ripped through the animal's skin like paper and my eyes rolled back in relief as the blood rushed down my throat, taming the flames.

It was only when I had finished and discarded the carcass to my right did I realize Jasper was watching me. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't recognize. Pride? Had I done well?

"Impressive," was all he said. He looked me up and down, "But I think a clean-up is in order before we return."

He led me to a lake half a mile away. The sun was setting, sending orange light dancing on the clear water. I could see every detail.

"Beautiful," I whispered.

"Indeed," Jasper agreed, sitting down on the embankment beside me. "I suppose the ability to pay attention to detail is one of the perks of this life."

I looked down at the water at my feet. The image of myself in the water surprised me, not only because it was so clear like I was looking into a mirror but because my scars were gone. In a way. They were no longer scars but grooves in my face slightly worse than Emmett's. Tentatively, I reached up a hand to stroke the worst one.

"They won't fade," he said. "But I think they suit you anyway."

"Thanks, I think," I replied. Jasper laughed.

I washed quickly, scrubbing the dirt and dried blood off my skin. Washing myself now felt like scrubbing a kitchen worktop. It was then that I became aware that I was wearing different clothes to the ones I had worn when…I'd been beaten almost to death.

Jasper saw me examining the new pair of jeans and tank top. "You're part of us now, Bella," he said. "Alice changed your clothes for you, Rosalie washed your hair and Esme gave you a bath."

I sat down next to him, loving the way the setting sun set off the prism effect on my skin. "You'd think I would be aware of things like that happening," I said.

"Not really," he told me. "The pain of the change is so intense that we only notice things towards the end of our change." He paused. "You spent your first day screaming in a cave with Edward, you know, before we sorted out a bed at his place."

I closed my eyes at all the trouble they seemed to have gone through over me.

"You'll forgive him in time," Jasper said, mistaking my reaction for one of annoyance at Edward.

"I doubt it," I muttered.

"We best get back," Jasper said, getting to his feet. "Some things happened whilst you were turning and we all need to speak to you."

"What things?" I demanded, but he was already running back to the cottage.

When I arrived, I entered to find them all in the living and kitchen space; Emmett was sat on a kitchen worktop, the sofa and been turned round and Esme sat on it with Rosalie and Carlisle at either side, Jasper and Alice sat at the kitchen table and motioned for me to sit in the empty table chair. I did, noticing Edward was furthest away, sat halfway up the stairs and watching me intently. He didn't look afraid though he should have been.

"The Volturi came to a decision the other day," Alice informed me. I clenched the seat of the kitchen chair, only stopping when the wood splintered slightly under my hands. I definitely remembered the werewolf situation, and the Tanya situation. There was no need to remind me about any of those. "They took Tanya to Aro."

My body froze. "But then he'll know…" I trailed off.

"They already do," Alice said gently. She reached across the table and took my hand in hers. I was aware of everybody watching me. Then she said the words that made my entire world fall apart.

"The Volturi have got Jacob."

**END OF PART 1**


	23. Sand, Sea and Acquaintances

**Title: **The Broken Vampire  
**Rating: **T  
**Full Summary:** Bella and Edward are now on the Volturi's Most Wanted list, leaving them with no choice but to run…and keep running. They flee to England where an uprising has been forming for over a century. Constantly watching their backs, Bella and Edward find themselves in the middle of a war between three groups who, despite their differences, all seem to want the same thing. They want rid of the Volturi. Even the shape-shifters are beginning to stir. After meeting many other Vampires, humans, shape-shifters – and even werewolves – Bella is left wondering whether it was just a coincidence that Jasper sent them to England as she is left with a choice that could ultimately change the world.

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**PART 2: THE BROKEN VAMPIRE**

**23. Sand, Sea and Acquaintances **

The water slid easily over my arms as I swam through the sea. Edward was with me though he was keeping his distance, knowing full well I wasn't in any mood to talk to him. I still hated him for what he had done to me, still wanted him to pay somehow.

But then there was the pull; this small part of me that made me very aware of the Vampire beside me. He was my Mate, it said, forgive him, hold him, be with him.

I pushed harder through the water, hoping to put even more distance between us. I concentrated on the silvery colors of the schools of fish as they swam by or, more accurately, fled from us; I concentrated on the gentle whooshing of the water in my ears, on the vaguely uncomfortable feeling in my chest.

Swimming under water was faster but it had its downsides; not breathing for a while was a bit uncomfortable especially when I had filled my useless lungs before diving in instead of emptying them.

When I did break the surface to take a breather, Edward copied only he was thirty feet away. I could tell he was trying to make eye contact with me, feel him trying to get me to notice him. I ignored him, emptied my lungs and dove back under the waves.

I sped up, hoping to put more distance between him and me. I tried to distract myself by thinking of everything we had discussed just hours earlier.

(*)

"Bella, you need to calm down," Jasper told me calmly as he and rest of the group examined the kitchen table that lay in pieces at my feet. I hadn't meant to break it; I'd let my anger get the better of me upon hearing the Italian control freaks had taken my best friend away from me.

"Why?" I asked. "What's the point in keeping calm? Where has that gotten any of us? Any of_ you_?"

They didn't answer. They all looked worried except Edward who was still sitting on the stairs behind me and Jasper who regarded me with cool clarity.

"We already have a plan, Bella," he said. "But we need you to be calm in order for you to hear it."

"A plan?" The word felt wrong; stupid. Only heroes and villains in movies needed plans. Plans never worked in real life. What was he talking about?

"We need to get out of here," Carlisle explained, taking authority. "The Volturi will surely be after us by now especially if they know Edward turned you illegally."

"But if they already took Jake then they've already been so close to us. Why didn't they…?" I trailed off, realizing I was unsure just how the Volturi would take us. In my mind I was picturing handcuffs and court warnings but the Volturi were so much worse than normal police.

"We don't know," Carlisle admitted. "Maybe they're playing you; maybe they didn't know you were in the area."

"But they will soon enough," Alice whispered to me. Had I been human I would have jumped. I'd not expected her to be so close. "We have to get out of here."

My mind was buzzing, trying to remember something else. Something important…

"Charlie!" I cried. "My dad! What about him? Does he know about me? Where is he?" Questions fell from my lips at Vampire speed. Jasper put his hands up, signalling for me to calm down and stop talking.

"Charlie doesn't know about you, Bella," he answered, calmly and coolly. "It would be best if we just left without telling him anything. He would be safer then should anybody want to question him."

"No!" I cried, feeling despair rise within me. "You can't do that! It would kill him not knowing–"

"The Volturi would kill him _for _knowing," Jasper interrupted, his eyes told me there was no arguing with him.

"So we just leave him?" I asked. "There's really no other way?"

"I'm sorry, dear." I recognized Esme's motherly tone as she rested her hands on my shoulders. "It's for his sake."

I nodded, fighting hard against my emotions. I didn't want to break down in front of them. I was stronger than that now but the weight of my despair seemed to be pressing down on my shoulders. Taking a deep unnecessary breath, I straightened my back brushing Esme off me. I would show them I could do this; I didn't need help. I could pull myself together.

"Where are we going then?" I asked.

Around me, everyone seemed to exchange glances with each other except Jasper. He kept on staring at me calmly. I realized then he must have sensed my despair anyway and silently pleaded with him not to share it with anyone.

"We're not going anywhere together," he explained. "We're splitting up."

I hadn't expected that. I wasn't sure how to react. These Vampires were now only vaguely familiar to me. I had brief memories of being afraid of them as a human yet them splitting up seemed…unnatural; wrong.

"What do you mean?" I asked, a second later after I'd processed the information.

"It'll be harder for the Volturi to track us that way," Alice explained. "I've seen them; they have an experienced tracker but if we all go our separate ways then it'll take them longer to round us up."

"Us?" I repeated, frowning. "The Volturi are only after me and Edward. How does this concern any of you?"

Rosalie and Emmett looked at each other uncomfortably.

"I don't think we've been completely honest with you, Bella," Carlisle admitted but Alice put her hand up to stop him.

"What Carlisle means is that some of us haven't been completely honest," she said, turning me round so I faced her, my back to the others. "Edward told you about Jasper and I meeting whilst we were in the Volturi and then leaving them, right?"

It was odd of her to ask; she was the one with the visions, the one who had texted Edward to let him know it was okay for him to tell me her and Jasper's history. Then I realized why she had asked me; her question made me think back to a time when being beside Edward was the only place I wanted to be. I gasped a little at the onslaught of emotions but didn't miss Alice glance behind me, presumably at Jasper…or Edward.

"You're wasting your time," I hissed at her. "I won't forgive him."

Alice's eyes glazed over for a moment as though she was searching for something in her visions. She didn't seem to find what she was looking for though and instead fixed me with a stern stare.

"Well, the Volturi didn't let us leave so easily," she explained. "Jasper and I were appointed as their…spies if you like. It's our job to report to them if anyone betrays them or goes against their laws."

"You're Volturi spies?" I gasped.

"No, no, no," Alice said quickly before I could overreact and break something else like I broke the table. "We didn't do it," she explained. "Well, except for one time…" She trailed off looking uneasily at me.

"What?" I demanded.

"Jasper and I were the ones to report Sarah Black's killer," she told me.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. But the name of Jacob's mother only reminded me of Jacob himself and I felt the despair pressing down on me once again.

"Continue," I begged, hoping for a distraction from the pain I was feeling.

"The fact of the matter is," Alice continued. "Is that the Volturi saw us with Tanya and Edward last time they checked up on them. They'll suspect we knew about the fake Mating and will be after us too."

"So you need to run," I realized. Alice nodded. I turned back to the group. "And what about the rest of you?"

"The Volturi have always been…annoyed at Emmett and me," Rosalie explained, placing her hand on her Mate's chest. Emmett's arm tightened around her. "We never Qualified and we never Mated…not properly…" She trailed off.

"We think the Volturi will take any excuse to be rid of us," Emmett finished.

I looked at Emmett with his scarred face and – behind the bravo – his fearful eyes. His grip tightened on Rosalie. If I'd needed any more reason to hate the Volturi then it was in front of me; two unfortunate people who had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"And what about you two?" I asked, turning my gaze to Esme and Carlisle.

"Association," Carlisle said, his hands clasped behind his back and Esme holding onto his arm. "They'll destroy us because we know you."

"But that's not fair!" I cried.

"There are other things as well…" Carlisle began but Jasper shot him a warning glance.

"What?" I asked.

Nobody answered me. Instead, Edward finally rose form his seat on the stairs and said, "Bella, leave it. We have to go now."

I looked at him for the first time since Jasper had told me about Jacob. I'd never seen him like this before. At least, I didn't think I had. His eyes were stern but there was still some hurt in them as though he, too, was trying to distract himself from something with the situation. Surely he couldn't have cared for Jacob that much?

"We?" I repeated, suddenly realizing what he was saying. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"You have to," Jasper said. I looked at him, something in his voice wasn't right. "Please," he added, and I noticed he too was now clinging onto his Mate.

That left Edward and me, Mated and stood apart in the room. I was now beginning to realize that the pain I felt was not just for Jacob's capture but for the way I had been treating Edward, my Mate. Still, I refused to back down and give in to that strange Vampire emotion. Humans had arguments all the time, did they ever feel this guilty?

I realized I didn't know because I had never had the experience; I _would_ never have the experience.

I finally burst into tearless sobs.

(*)

Bubbles erupted around me and I realized Edward had overtaken me and he was swimming ahead. He turned, his bronze hair floating skyward under the water and threw a shy smile at me. _Chase me, _it said with all the playful naivety that reminded me of the Edward he was when we first got talking.

Not this Edward, not the one who had turned me against my will and who was responsible for having me hunted down by the Volturi.

I kept my gaze ahead, ignoring him, and he soon got the hint. He dropped a few hundred feet behind clearly given up on getting me to notice him.

By the time we arrived on the shore, I had grown used to the silence of being on my own. Edward arrived a couple of seconds later, his clothes and hair plastered to his skin.

"England," he announced, looking up at the high cliffs that loomed over the wet beach. This wasn't like a beach in Phoenix, I realized suddenly remembering my home before I moved to Forks. In Phoenix the sand was almost always too hot to walk on. Here, the whole beach seemed…damp.

Edward and I had headed overseas straight away, following Jasper's orders. Edward and I would now be on the Volturi's Most Wanted meaning we'd have to take care of ourselves, keep running and never use public transport or get involved with the locals. We'd swam all along the coast of South America and up past Africa.

The others had stayed on land; Esme and Carlisle heading into South America, Rosalie and Emmett running to Alaska, and Alice and Jasper planned to take a private plane to Austria, hoping the Volturi wouldn't suspect them being so near Italy.

We hadn't bothered taking shoes when we left and I could feel every grain of sand beneath my feet. All Edward and I had were the clothes on our back and each other. I wasn't too keen on the latter.

"Maybe we should split up ourselves," I suggested slyly. "It'd throw this tracker off even more then."

Edward frowned. "Bella, that's too risky. Jasper's already worried that we'll be vulnerable when we're just in pairs."

"Well maybe we should have all just stayed together." I kept my gaze on the cliffs and the birds flying and cawing around them but I could feel Edward watching me.

"Why do you dislike me, Bella?" he asked.

That was unexpected. I just thought he would carry on trying to get my attention, or at the very least just wait for me to talk to him again – though he would be waiting for a long time. But how dare he ask why!

"Why?" I repeated, my voice dripping with disgust. "Edward, from what I remember – and you'll have to bare with me because taking my humanity away also messed with my memory a bit – but from what I remember I told you I didn't want to become a Vampire."

"You never said that!" Edward accused, suddenly determined as though I had finally given him something to work with. "You said there was no way for you to become a Vampire. That was the last thing you said to me on the topic – that there was no _way_, not that you didn't _want._"

I stared at him, my human memory failing to find out whether he was wrong or right, but I was sure of one thing.

"I only worded it that way so as not to hurt you," I told him through gritted teeth. "I never wanted to be a Vamp, never in my life!"

Edward visibly flinched at the insult. He looked at a loss of what to say but then he focused in on my eyes.

"You need to hunt," he said. "You're eyes are getting dark."

"Yours aren't," I accused.

"You're a newborn," he said. "You'll get thirsty faster. Come on."

"Don't tell me what to do," I retorted but already I could feel the anger leaving me. I choked back a sob but Edward heard it.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he said sincerely, trying to look me in the eye but I kept my gaze on the cliffs. I could see a figure making their way down but I couldn't be sure whether they were human or Vampire. I doubted any werewolves would stay in a country with weather like this. I felt as though I was suffocating from the grey cloud blanket. "I am so sorry that you are upset with me making such a choice for you but I am not sorry for what I did. You were dying, Bella. I was going to lose you and when it comes down to it I would rather have you angry with me than not have you at all."

I softened to him a little after that. At least he knew he had done something wrong, but I wasn't ready to forgive – not yet.

"There's someone here," I informed him, nodding my head to that figure that had now reached the bottom of the cliffs and was making their way towards us. Their scent drifted to me; human. I breathed in involuntarily and Edward gripped my arm.

"Easy," he said. "The last thing we need is for the Volturi to want us for the death of a human."

"It smells good though, doesn't it?" I said, my voice a husky whisper. Edward swallowed loudly and I noticed when he stopped breathing.

"We should go," he said.

"But they've already seen us," I protested. "Look, they're waving. Running now would only lead them to be suspicious."

"We don't have passports."

I frowned at him. "Edward, we're Vampires. We should be allowed to go wherever we want."

He looked surprised by what I said but then told me calmly, "I know we should but the Volturi like to keep a tight control, remember?"

My hands clenched into fists as I found yet another reason to hate the Volturi.

By the time the person reached us I already knew she was a young woman, maybe a few years older than me with long blonde hair and piercing green eyes. Her eyes sort of reminded me of the moss back in Forks. I was surprised to feel a little homesick at the thought.

"Well, it's not often we get visitors washing up onshore," she said in her English accent. Well at least we knew we had found the right place. She seemed to do a double take when she saw Edward's eyes.

"Sorry," Edward said, filling the uncomfortable silence in which the girl chose to gawk at him.

Suddenly she straightened up. "Americans," she nodded at the two of us. "What a rare surprise. I thought you tended to stay away from European affairs."

"What's that supposed to mean?"I asked. Edward glanced nervously at me.

She raised an eyebrow. "Well, a Vampire who doesn't know where the Hell Raisers are based. That's something I've never come across before. I'm Lizzie and, judging by the way you arrived, and your…erm…eyes, I'm assuming you're not here on Volturi business."

Hell Raisers. The name sounded familiar but I couldn't seem to place it anywhere in my memory. As I frowned in concentration, Edward seemed to take it upon himself to introduce us.

"I'm Edward and this is Bella."

"Edward, eh?" Lizzie repeated. "That's an old one, take it you've been Vamped up for some time then?"

Edward frowned at the unfamiliar phrase. "Yes," he finally said, "Since 1918."

Lizzie whistled. "Had a great granddad born in 1918. Anyway, it's a bit chilly out here. Why don't we go back to my place? I've got a nice cottage up on the cliffs; lovely views and no eavesdroppers I promise." She tapped her nose as if communicating in code and set off back the way she came, not bothering to see if we were following.

I glanced at Edward, unsure what to do.

"Well," he said under his breath. "So much for not getting involved with the locals."


	24. Secrets in the Woods

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**24. Secrets in the Woods**

Lizzie's cottage on the cliffs was more like a hut. It consisted of a main room, a bedroom and a bathroom. When inside you could still hear the wind from the sea, roaring through the cracks in the windowpanes and the planks that made up the walls. The building reminded me of my home in Phoenix, the wind reminded me of my home in Forks.

"So," Lizzie began conversationally. A fire blazed in one corner of the room, sending our shadows flickering against the walls. Another memory came back to me; when I was little I used to think shadows were the scariest thing in the world. "Where should we start? How about your eye colour," she nodded at Edward. "I think that's pretty interesting."

She sat herself down at the table. I took the other chair and Edward leaned against the wall. The feeling of the wood underneath me reminded me of the chair back at Edward's cottage, the one I had broken in my rage.

Edward narrowed his eyes, regarding Lizzie with what seemed like suspicion. "I drink animal blood," he explained finally.

Lizzie cocked an eyebrow. "Well, I'm not one to judge…" She trailed off as though drinking animal blood was some kind of weird fetish. I smiled. I was beginning to like Lizzie.

"It's not by choice," Edward said suddenly as though we had both annoyed him. "I'm not allowed to take from the Blood Banks."

"Why not?"

And so Edward told Lizzie everything from his false Mating with Tanya to us now running from the Volturi.

When he had finished, Lizzie whistled, and I was left staring at Edward with a mixture of annoyance and confusion. What was he playing at?

"Well, that's one hell of a story you got there," Lizzie laughed. "I'm not sure whether I believe half of it."

"You can believe what you want," Edward barked. "But I'm sure you're not so innocent yourself."

Lizzie had her mouth open as though she was about to argue but then she snapped it shut and regarded Edward with both confusion and suspicion. "What gave you that idea?" she asked.

I was about to ask the same thing myself but then I remembered Edward's Gift. It was odd, remembering he read minds when he couldn't read my own. We still hadn't gotten to the bottom of that one.

"He can–" I began but Edward cut me off by shaking his head furiously at me.

"What?" Lizzie pestered.

I glared at Edward, wanting to convey my anger at him for just leaving me hanging like that. Part of me wanted to tell Lizzie outright that he could read minds but I knew I needed to be rational and remember we were in danger still.

"He's good at reading people," I finished, realizing it wasn't really a lie. "Vampires can be very observant." I flashed her an apologetic smile. She blinked for a moment, as though coming out of a trance. I was finally beginning to understand the power Vampires had over humans; no wonder they got their own way all the time.

Lizzie nodded. "Okay, you got me. I'm not so innocent." She smiled knowingly. "But this is Britain, right? I mean who is?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked in frustration, directing my question at Edward who seemed to understand what Lizzie was talking about.

He was frowning at something but his expression smoothed out when he heard my voice. "A while ago, the Vampire Councils of every State sent a message out," he answered, "About the Hell Raisers."

It felt like my face should hurt from frowning as I tried to remember where I had heard that name before. "Who are they?" I demanded, giving up in the end.

"You don't know?" Lizzie asked. She sounded odd; like I had hurt her in some way.

"She's a new Vampire," Edward explained. "Her memory is still a bit hazy."

Lizzie nodded slowly, but I knew that memory loss during the change was a new thing to her.

"The Hell Raisers are the militant group against the Vampires," Edward reminded me.

I gasped, suddenly remembering. Their name used to pop up on the news every now and again; landmines being set in Antarctica – a quiet place were Vampires sometimes went to spend time away from humans; bombs being targeted at the White House (if only they would let somebody human into their little government circle!) and that's not to mention the numerous failed attacks on the Volturi in Italy.

I hadn't watched the news much since I'd met Edward, I'd always been consumed with other things. And now here I was, in the very country they were based.

"The Vampire Councils warned us they were formed in Britain," Edward continued. "We still don't know if that was to warn us or inspire some of us to go after them ourselves. I stayed out of it for obvious reasons."

"Yeah, you were too busy hiding like a hermit to take notice of the world," I muttered.

"Oh and I suppose you acted upon it too?" he asked.

"Humans weren't told they were based in Britain," I reminded him. "We probably would have joined them had we known."

"Humans die in these attacks too you know," he reminded me coldly.

"Well if you weren't so bloody hard to kill then we wouldn't have to resort to such violence!" I fired back.

What I had said seemed to throw him for a moment. "We?" he repeated. "Bella, you're not one of them any more."

"No thanks to you!" I hissed.

"I thought you said you guys were Mated," Lizzie chimed in.

Edward and I both turned to look at her. She sat at the table, hands clasped in front of her as though she was listening to nothing more than a private conversation between friends.

"It's complicated," I replied.

Edward shot a glance at me. To him that must have been an improvement. 'It's complicated' sounded far better than 'I hate his guts' or 'I'm going to destroy him'. I could almost see the hope in his eyes.

"So," Lizzie said, clapping her hands together. She used her fingers as a pointer as she summed up our story. "You guys are on the run from the Volturi who are out to destroy you because a) you lied to them and b) you killed a werewolf." She sounded a little bitter at the end.

"Don't tell me you're a fan of the werewolves too!" I cried.

Lizzie raised her eyebrows. "I never said I was." She continued, "So you're basically going to run for the rest of your lives? What if this tracker catches up with you?"

"Then we cross that bridge when we come to it." Edward shrugged but I could see the tension in his body. He wanted to get going now.

"That's rubbish!" Lizzie cried, slapping the table. "Why don't you join the resistance?"

"No thank you," Edward said quickly. "We'll keep out of that mess."

I was about to argue but then Lizzie said, "Figures. You Americans _are_ nothing but do-gooders after all."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"You used to be too," Edward pointed out, crouching so he was eye level with her. They stared at each other for several seconds.

"I don't mean to interrupt," I said loudly. "But I think I'm missing a bit here."

"Britain and America used to be the same when it came to obeying the Volturi," Edward explained, never taking his eyes off Lizzie. "And then something happened."

"The Washington Bombings of 1990," Lizzie smiled. "What a masterpiece that was."

"There'd been other attacks of course," Edward explained. "The Hell Raisers had done try-outs to see how they could kill a Vampire but the Washington Bombings was – and is today – the attack that killed the most Vampires."

"And how do you kill a Vampire then?" I asked. "I know the bombs and the mines work but how?"

"Rip them apart and burn the pieces," Edward said grimly.

"Ah," I said, realizing the bombs made so much more sense now. It really was the only way for humans to destroy a Vampire.

"Britain is the first and only country to build a resistance," Lizzie said proudly. "We've been hoping you Americans would follow suit."

"The controls in our country are too tight," Edward informed her. "We have a Council for every state – you only have one for the country."

"To be fair though it is only a small country," I pointed out.

"Don't underestimate them," Edward warned me.

Lizzie grinned. "That's the mistake the Volturi made."

Outside the sun had set and the room had been plunged into an eerie darkness. I felt the urge to shiver though I wasn't cold, just a little freaked out.

"So you're a Hell Raiser?" I asked. Edward seemed to lean forward a bit at that, and Lizzie leaned back.

"Not really," she hedged. "But you could say I'm from a sister group."

"Which is?" Edward prompted.

Lizzie tapped her nose. She nodded at me, "How'd you get those marks? I thought Vampires were supposed to be perfect."

"She is perfect," Edward growled.

"Oh give it a rest," I told him. He straightened up and returned to leaning against the wall, looking like a wounded puppy.

I turned and focused my attention on Lizzie. "I was attacked by a werewolf last year," I explained, realizing the memory felt so far away and yet it was so solid. Waking up as a Vampire had left some holes in my memory but my attack had been there just as it always would.

Lizzie's expression didn't even flinch. "I didn't know werewolf marks were permanent," she said casually.

"They are," I said, a little surprised by her reaction though I didn't show it. It was odd; I'd grown up around people who feared the werewolves as much as me yet Lizzie didn't seem too concerned. "It was the reason why I moved to Forks; I'd been scented so I couldn't stay in Phoenix anymore because they would find me on a full moon."

"What happened to the werewolf?" Lizzie asked, leaning forward as though I was telling her the most exciting tale ever rather than about a horrific event that had happened to me.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I never saw it again."

"And how come you're not a werewolf?" she asked, digging for more details. "Surely if you were scarred so badly then you would have become one?"

"They got the parasite out just in time," I explained, my hand automatically lifting to my Killer Scar.

Lizzie spat on the ground vehemently. "It wasn't for your sake, obviously," she said bitterly. "They did it to keep the werewolf population down. They want to control them but, in the end, they don't want too many to deal with."

Behind Lizzie I saw Edward's expression change from bewilderment back to frustration in a split second. I felt the urge to confront him on what was going on in Lizzie's mind, on why we had to keep quiet over his Gift.

"Well, I'm going to bed," Lizzie announced, rising from the table. "You're welcome to take shelter in here tonight." She grinned suddenly. "The one good thing about Vampires is they make easy house guests."

"Thank you," I said when it seemed Edward would not be responding to her kind hospitality. She nodded at me before retreating into the one bedroom.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Edward took me by the wrist and all but pulled me outside of the cottage and onto the cliffs. The wind whipped around us making me wish I had something to tie my hair up with.

"What is it?" I asked, talking easily at Vampire speed. I knew the wind would prevent Lizzie from eavesdropping on us but I wanted to make totally sure that we were talking in private. Lizzie was still just an acquaintance and the only reason stopping her from turning us in was the fact we knew just as much about her.

"Lizzie is good at blocking her thoughts," Edward answered, keeping his gaze on the sea down below. The tide had come in, the foamed waves seemed to lap hungrily at the rocks at the bottom of the cliff. The path which we had taken to the cottage now led into the ocean.

"Like me?" I asked.

"No," Edward said instantly as though he had been expecting the question. "I could get enough from her to know that we can trust her…to an extent?"

"To an extent?" I repeated.

"She's hiding something," Edward replied. "And she's good at it too."

"I thought Jasper told us not to talk to people," I pointed out. "You seemed to be getting cosy with her earlier."

"I was trying to read her mind." Edward was quick to defend himself. "And getting a few allies can't be so bad. We might need people to lie for us in the future."

"Edward?" I asked hesitantly, sounding almost child-like.

"What is it?" he asked.

"How long will we be running?" I asked him. "Is this it? Will we ever see the others again or will we just keep running until one of us is destroyed; whether it be the Volturi or us?"

Edward didn't answer. Instead he reached out an arm as though he was going to put it round my shoulders and hold me to him but I shied away from him. Not because I was still angry at him but because I didn't want him to see me weak and upset.

(*)

The next day, Lizzie came outside the cottage to find Edward and me sitting die by side on the rock edge, looking out over the now calm sea.

"I suppose you best get going," she told us in greeting. "The last thing I need is for the Volturi to come here."

"We just wanted to thank you for your hospitality." Edward rose gracefully to his feet and offered Lizzie his hand. I watched her take it almost warily as I too got up.

"You're welcome," she said. "And you're also welcome to come back too once you've led the Volturi away from here."

Edward frowned at Lizzie's retreating form as she headed back into her cottage.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said.

We spent the rest of the day travelling, making our way through the woods that seemed to cover the country. They smelled different too, sort of metallic. I put it down as the after smell of rain.

"Are you going to tell me then?" I asked after several hours. We'd taken to travelling at a leisurely stroll once we'd put distance between Lizzie's cottage and us. There was no point running at Vampire speed when we really had nowhere to run to.

"Tell you what?" Edward asked. He made his way down a small hill and offered his hand to me. I batted it away, making my way down by myself.

"Why you were pulling a face at Lizzie just before we left?" I kicked a stick out of my way, internally beaming as I watched it sail through the air. "I'm not the mind reader you know."

"It was just something she thought," he hedged. "She thought _we're not ready yet_."

"And what does that mean?" I was getting impatient.

"I don't know," Edward admitted honestly, "That's why I didn't tell you because I don't even know if it means anything."

"But it must do," I protested. "You said yourself it looks as though she is hiding something."

"Hm," was all Edward said as he stared off into the distance. He wrinkled his nose. "What is that smell?"

"British weather?" I suggested.

We'd reach another small decline. Again, Edward slid down it before offering his hand to me.

"I don't need your help," I told him.

"I know but it's polite to ask," he said casually, his face expressionless.

"It's also polite to respect other people's wishes," I pointed out. I didn't need to say any more – he knew exactly what I was referring to.

"You need to hunt." He was the one to break the stare first, wrenching his eyes away as he scanned the landscape. "I smell deer a hundred feet to the left."

He took off then, startling me almost, but I quickly followed suit. I was determined not to let him have this kill. It was mine. However, he beat me to it naturally and was sinking his teeth into the broken neck of a doe before I threw him off it.

"Mine," I growled, turning to the kill. I half-expected him to throw me off – and was preparing myself to fight him – but all I heard from him was a frustrating growl before he fell silent. After I'd drained the deer, I threw the carcass to the side and examined my blood-stained clothing.

"We need to find somewhere to wash this," I said, pointing at my T-shirt. I looked over at him only to find him watching me intently. He was still in his hunting crouch but his eyes were not on the carcass that should have been his; they were on me. It took me a while to recognise his expression – I had not seen it in my Vampire life. The last time I had seen him look at me like that was back at the Vampire Hotel the night of my second werewolf attack, just before we…

I tore my gaze away from his and in seconds was up on my feet, running through the trees and screaming in frustration. I _wanted _him and that was wrong. He had disrespected me, had made me into one of the controlling freaks; the monsters of our world. I should hate him so much that I should want to kill him.

But I couldn't. I could never hurt him, not physically anyway. He was my Mate and we were stuck with each other for all eternity. Growling again in frustration, I grabbed a large branch overhanging from a tree and threw it two hundred feet away.

And that was when the mine went off.


	25. The Hell Raisers

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**25. The Hell Raisers**

"Bella!" Edward's screaming was the first thing that I registered. Even for a Vampire, his reaction time was pretty fast. I kept my eyes on the destruction in front of me, not even knowing he was there until he lifted me up and held me to him.

I didn't protest nor did I feel guilty about wanting him to hold me. Instead I felt just as I had felt that night Mrs. Cope attacked me and he'd greeted me in the same way; I felt safe, reassured. My hands hung limply at my sides but Edward held me to him with a force that would snap any tree in half. He held on to me as bits of wood and soil fell around us, as the smoke from the landmine swirled around us hiding the destruction from us for a few more seconds.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Edward was muttering. "What happened? What was it?"

"I threw a branch," I said, my eyes never leaving the swirling smoke of nothingness in front of us.

"I thought I'd lost you," he said, breathless from shock. "Don't ever do that to me again!"

I didn't reply, partly because I didn't know how to. Do what again? Stumble upon a mine? It wasn't as though I could…

"The smell!" I said suddenly as the smoke began to clear ever so slightly.

"What smell?" Edward asked, his voice muffled as he spoke into my shoulder.

"The metallic smell," I replied. "It must be the landmines." Edward didn't answer. "They're not very effective if we can _smell _them."

"Can we not talk about how effective they may or may not be?" Edward asked. "I can't believe I nearly–" He stopped, lifting his head up and noticing the same time as me the figures making their way towards us through the smoke. At first they were nothing but grey sketches becoming bolder and bolder as they neared us.

"The Volturi," I breathed.

"No," Edward said surely. "Some of them are too tall."

"Meaning?" I asked.

"The Volturi are very old Vampires," he replied, gently loosening his grip on me, "They're from a time when humans didn't grow as tall as they do now."

"Interesting," I said. Having never seen the Volturi before – they tended to keep to themselves and let others do their dirty work – I could only imagine a group of midgets in red hooded cloaks.

When the figures did come into view though, Edward dropped me as we both gasped in shock. Their leader, with her long blonde hair and angelic face, looked so much like…

"Tanya," Edward breathed looking upon the woman with the same dream-like expression I imagined him having nearly a century ago when he saw her for the first time.

The woman stopped and looked at us both in surprise. I knew she couldn't be Tanya but she looked so much like her that I began to get a feeling of hope. Maybe Tanya had escaped – and if so then that meant the Volturi were not as impenetrable as they seemed. And, in turn, that meant Jacob still had a chance. Jacob…

"Irina?" one of the figures addressed the blonde woman, making my heart sink. Irina. The name still sounded familiar though and so unusual. I racked my brain trying to remember where I had heard it before. "What is the matter?" The figure speaking was a tall brunette girl with green eyes that were a shade lighter than Lizzie's.

"Well, they're not dead for one thing," the figure on the other side pointed out. This was a male with a deep voice and a stocky build. He scanned Edward and me before seeming to stumble back in surprise. "Their eyes…" he muttered. "Nikki, look! Irina, are they–"

The blonde Vampire – Irina – held up her hand, silencing the man immediately. She cocked her head to the side, also looking us up and down.

"Who are you?" she demanded in a voice so filled with authority I felt I could do nothing but obey.

"Bella Swan," I answered. "And this is Edward Masen." Edward was still dumb-struck, staring at Irina with his mouth hanging open.

"You said Tanya," Irina said, her voice like a whisper. "Whereabouts did you come across such a name?"

"Y-you remind me of someone I once knew. Her name was Tanya," Edward said finally. I looked at him in surprise. Did he really just stutter?

From nowhere a rage of jealousy swept through me. He had been infatuated with Tanya before – could he really now be finding Irina attractive? She looked so similar to Tanya but where Tanya had been delicate and ladylike, Irina had more of a build. Could they have been related?

I gasped, suddenly remembering where I had heard her name.

"Irina!" I cried, stepping forward. The two humans at her flanks took a step back but Irina stayed where she was like a cold stone statue. "Tanya told me about you. She said you were killed by a werewolf!" It had to be the same person otherwise she wouldn't have halted when Edward had spoken Tanya's name, she wouldn't look so alike…

"Tanya was the one who was killed by a werewolf," Irina said coldly. "I lost her and my other friends over a hundred years ago in the deserts of–"

"Arizona!" I interrupted. "Tanya told me she was the only one to have survived."

Irina seemed to regard us for a moment before she turned back to the two humans beside her. "Take the Jeep back to the Base," she said, the authority evident in her tone once again. "I'll meet you back there soon."

"But what about the rest of the–" Kellan began but stopped when he saw the expression on Irina's face.

"Our work today is done," she said, calmly and slowly. "Get back to Base. Now."

I watched Nikki and Kellan exchange a glance before they hurriedly retreated back to where the smoke was still thick. Once they were gone and I heard the sound of a Jeep's engine start some way away, Irina made her way over to us.

"Tell me everything you know about Tanya," she ordered. "Where is she now?"

I told her everything – it seemed Edward was still in a state of shock. When I got to the part about Tanya being captured and held by the Volturi, Irina growled and punched a nearby tree thus sinking her fist into the wood.

"Those bastards," she seethed.

"I'm sorry," I told her sincerely. "Maybe things would have turned out differently had she known one of you had survived the attack. Are there any more?"

"No," Irina replied, pulling her fist from the tree and flexing her fingers, "I didn't even think Tanya had survived. And yes, things would have turned out differently – I agree. You wouldn't have been saved from that werewolf for a start."

Edward seemed to have recovered because he growled and placed a protective arm around me. I didn't shrug him off. Minutes earlier he'd thought I'd been ripped apart and my pieces burned by the bomb. I figured I owed him a little reassurance. Just a little.

"Your eyes," Irina said suddenly, looking at Edward. "They are a dangerous colour. One might think you are in league with the Hell Raisers."

"And why would that be?" Edward asked smoothly though his arm never left my shoulders.

Irina pointed to her own eyes. They were the same golden colour. I hadn't really given that much thought when I'd first seen her. She'd looked so much like Tanya that I'd assumed the eye colour was just a given. "Round here, eye colour is how we recognise allies," Irina explained. "Those who feed off animal blood are usual in defiance of the Volturi."

"Oh we are in defiance," I said, referring to our new life-on-the-run.

"I know," Irina nodded. "But had any of the Vampire Council seen you then you would have been destroyed immediately."

"Immediately?" I frowned. "Don't you mean we'd just get shipped off to the Volturi? Destroying us straight away seems a bit extreme don't you think?"

Irina smiled without humour. "Welcome to Britain."

(*)

Irina invited us to the Base straight away. Like Lizzie, our eye colour and lifestyle seemed to be proof enough to her that we could be trusted. Plus she wanted to hear all about what Tanya had been up to in the past hundred years. We walked leisurely through the woods.

On the way, I listened to Edward shared some of his and Tanya's stories with Irina. I couldn't help but feel jealous and then angry with myself for being jealous – I was supposed to be angry at Edward and not give a damn whether he lived or died.

I listened to him tell Irina all about his and Tanya's visits round the world. I watched him wring his hands in embarrassment when he told us – in very brief detail – about their visit to the Caribbean Islands where they went to straight from Italy after his change; I watched him laugh as he retold fond memories of their encounter with the monkey Shifters in the Amazon; I watched him seem to cringe when he told Irina about them parting ways after Alice's vision of me. I wondered if he was worried about Irina's reaction. He had, in a way, ditched her friend for the likes of a human.

"How did you survive?" I blurted once Edward seemed to run out of stories to tell – or stories that he _wanted _to tell. "Tanya said she ran the moment she realized there was no hope for you."

"Survival tactic," Irina nodded in approval of her sister's actions – something that surprised me. "There was no hope for us surviving – not all of us anyway. We fought back the best we could and in the end we won but only because I was the only survivor. I fled the scene then, leaving my friends' body parts behind. To the Arizonian Council it would have looked like nothing but a brawl between werewolves and Vampires that had gone horribly wrong."

"What made you come to England?" Edward asked, taking in the area around him as though he couldn't understand why anybody would come here – unless they were desperate like us.

"I knew that no justice would be done for my friends and that made me angry." She clenched her fingers into fists again. "And I'd heard about the uprisings in Britain – they were just small things back then – but I came over here and I…" She stopped and threw her hands out to the sides. "I made them into very big things."

"The Washington Bombings," I realized. "That was you."

"Partly me," Irina admitted. "I've always had a team of humans willing to help and risk their lives for a better future."

"So you're a Hell Raiser," Edward said.

Irina nodded. "The term was practically invented because of me. Some of the Church Worshippers – you know the ones, they believe Vampires came from the Devil – caught wind of a Vampire being involved with the Resistance and they just didn't know what to make of it." She shrugged. "They nicknamed us the Hell Raisers because they assumed that since a Vampire was involved they weren't against the Vampires for religious reasons but for personal gain."

"And are you doing it for religious reasons?" I asked.

"Please," Irina smiled. "I've lived for hundreds of years and have an endless more to go; why would I worry about the after life? Religion is for silly little humans who can't accept death for what it is."

"So the Church is actually with the Vampires when it comes to you lot," Edward said, surprised. "I didn't see that one coming."

"You could say the Church – and every other religion for that matter – is on the fence. If what we do destroys hundreds of Vampires then they love us. But if one human is killed…"

"They hate you," I finished. "In that case then you really are Hell Raisers."

"Exactly." Irina nodded.

"But what about the humans you do kill?" Edward asked.

"Collateral damage," she shrugged.

"Not every Vampire is a member of the Volturi," he continued.

"Every Vampire, to me, who isn't a Hell Raiser _is _a member of the Volturi."

Part of me was starting to wonder if Irina was all together in the head.

"Besides," she continued. "What we are doing now is just practicing."

"For what?" I asked.

"For when we get our real target; the Volturi."

"You'll never get the Volturi," Edward told her with finality. "That's impossible."

"No it's not," Irina protested. "And we will get them – one day."

(*)

The base for the Hell Raisers came as a bit of surprise to me because of one thing; it was a church. Or, rather, it was underneath a church.

"It's the last place they'd look," Irina explained, staring up at the old building with fondness.

"How old is it?" Edward asked.

I was too busy trying to block the memories that such a building brought to me. It was as if this one reminder opened up a whole book of memories; all of them involving the Angels that had tried to kill me. The Angels who would have succeeded in killing me – had Edward not turned me.

I hated to admit it to myself but I was starting to see the logic in his decision.

"It's not in use anymore. It's older than me," Irina replied with surprise in her tone. "Everything in this country is old though. Come on, it's not often I get to give guests a guided tour."

She led the way round the back of the church where a small cemetery stood though it looked more like somebody had scattered a handful of tombstones in their back garden.

"Look at this one," I said to Edward, pointing at the nearest stone with the most readable writing. "It's dated 1901 – this place must be ancient!"

"I was born in 1901," Edward pointed out.

"Oh." I straightened up, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Maybe it's just ancient to me then."

Irina wasn't listening; instead she was lifting up what seemed to be doors in the floor.

"Is that a basement?" I asked.

"Yeah," Irina replied, checking to make sure the doors would hold. "It's the only way in and out which makes the humans feel better – they're convinced the church is haunted."

"Ah." Edward smiled. "Ghosts; what a silly human superstition."

"Indeed." He and Irina shared a smile.

Feeling a little left out, I made my way into the basement first. Inside seemed swallowed up by darkness but my improved eyesight helped me to find my way down the steps. I could hear Edward following behind me, having memorised the way he walked without even realizing it. Irina was behind him and she shut the doors behind her making darkness fall. Even Vampires couldn't see without a little bit of light; it's not like we have night vision.

"Just feel your way down the corridor," Irina advised from behind. "There's nothing here to bump into."

I trailed my hands along the walls on either side of me, knowing if I had been human I would be trembling with claustrophobia. My fingertips were met with old stone and I could hear a dripping noise.

"Just a few more steps," called Irina once again. I came to a stop instantly, feeling the presence of something in front of me. Edward collided into the back of me and I could tell by the way his fingers brushed my hips that it hadn't been an accident. Before I could call him up on it, however, Irina said, "Give the door a push."

I did, a too hard of a push it seemed as it swung open all the way and hit the wall beside it, startling the humans who sat at the table nursing mugs of coffee.

Whatever I had expected a secret basement to be like, it wasn't this. The room – with its candle-lit lanterns and dominating wooden table – look more like a comfortable den. A few wooden doors – identical to the one we had walked through were littered around the walls.

"Dormitories for the humans," Irina explained, pointing to each door in turn, "Bathrooms for the humans and the Weaponry Room."

"Wow," I breathed. "It all sounded so cosy up until that last one."

Edward smirked but Irina ignored me, waving her arm towards the humans sat at the table. "This is Nikki and Kellan," she introduced us. "They're the only humans in Base right now. The rest are scattered across the world carrying out important work."

"How many of you are there?" Edward asked, cocking an eyebrow. "And where are they all?" I knew then he was thinking the same as me; would any of our friends be in danger?

"Fifty, give or take," she replied. "But of course we've never all been together at once. That's just risky and we're far too busy for that."

Edward nodded slowly, glancing at Kellan and Nikki who stayed sat down at the table staring at us.

"Kellan, Nikki, this is Edward and Bella," Irina said to them. "They're with us."

"You didn't tell us you were expecting somebody," Kellan said, surprised. He never took his eyes off us.

"I wasn't," Irina admitted. "But they're a nice surprise aren't they?"

Kellan regarded us with suspicion from then on.

"Thank you for talking to us," Edward said to Irina suddenly. "But Bella and I need to get going. We don't want to lead the Volturi here."

"Lead the Volturi?" Nikki repeated in alarm.

Irina held her hand up to her. "I will explain everything later," she said before turning to us. "Thank you for your information," she said. "I wish you the best and feel free to come and see us again."

"You're just letting them go?" Kellan asked as though he were unable to help himself.

Irina shot him a dark look. "They are my guests, Kellan. Don't be rude."

We left, aware of Kellan glaring at our backs.

"Wow, two allies in less than twenty-four hours," I said as we set off South.

To our right were the woods and to our left, down in the valleys, were little towns and villages. It was the first sign of civilized human life I'd seen since we got here.

Edward didn't reply to me. Instead he stopped and held out an arm in front of me so I had no choice but to do the same.

"What is it?"I asked. He held a finger to his lips to shush me but was too late. We both heard the rustling high up in the trees, a place only a Vampire could reach. I felt something akin to blood turning to ice.

They'd found us. The Volturi had found us.


	26. Confrontation and Interrogation

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**26. Confrontation and Interrogation **

Edward seized my arm and dragged me with him down the hillside, our feet kicking large rocks and sending them tumbling into the valleys below. The rustling in the trees was growing louder as they came closer. Fear rose in my chest.

I hadn't expected this; not so soon. There were still things I wanted to do whether I was a Vampire or not. I'd hoped I would have been able to contact Charlie somehow, explain everything to him.

A glimpse of red flashed past us, making me stop in my tracks. Edward stopped too.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice urgent.

"It's not the Volturi," I realized pulling my wrist away from him. He dropped it reluctantly.

"Thank goodness!" he cried. "I started panicking then."

I hadn't the heart to tell him that there still might be a cause for panic. Instead I looked up at the top of the hill where the flash had been heading towards. My eyes locked with a Vampire I never thought I would see again. I'd only seen her once as a human and now as a Vampire I saw what I had failed to see back then; she had a hunter's glare.

"Victoria," I whispered.

"Who?" Edward asked.

"James' Mate," I explained.

There was no need to explain any more to him. We both remembered James and what Edward had done to him when he'd discovered James had planned to kill me using his werewolf grandmother.

Edward fell naturally into a hunter's crouch, snarling up at Victoria who in turn smiled back. He leapt back up to the top of the hill, preparing to challenge her face-to-face.

I had no idea what Victoria had been feeling; I didn't have her experience of losing a Mate nor did I have Edward's ability to read minds. However I remembered Edward's reaction to James trying to kill me. Victoria's would have been so much worse because Edward had actually _succeeded _in killing her Mate.

I hurried up the hillside to join them. Victoria seemed calm, eerily calm, as though she had some trick up her sleeve.

"Victoria," I said, partly in greeting but mainly in fear. I tried to stand my ground but it was hard. I'd never had an opportunity to confront an angry Vampire before as a Vampire myself. I had no idea what the correct mannerisms were in such a situation.

By the way Victoria snarled at me, I guessed there were no such things as mannerisms in such a situation.

"You killed my James," she hissed, glaring at Edward. Edward looked surprisingly calm. I stepped a little closer to him.

"Yes I did," he told her, consulting her as though she was asking directions. "Who told you?"

"That human God worshipper and his friends," she replied. Her gaze slid over to me then. I don't think I've ever seen such hatred in anybody's eyes. "They said they'd killed you." Edward stepped slightly so half his body was shielding me. I don't think he liked the fact she was addressing me.

"Leave Bella out of this," he told her. "It's between me and you. There's no point dragging anybody else into this."

"Pastor Weber," I whispered, remembering the leader of the Angels' name. They thought I was dead. If they could see me now…

"You're right." Victoria agreeing with Edward surprised me. "That's why I left those petty little humans alive though if it weren't for them, James would have happily come with me to the Volturi to be turned. Besides," she tried to look at me past Edward, "Killing a human would be against the Volturi's laws and I am a very law-abiding Vampire. Unlike somebody I know." Her gaze turned back to Edward.

"If you could have saved James you would have," Edward replied coldly. "Don't be bitter towards Bella just because you're jealous of us."

"I don't see why I have any need to be jealous of you." Victoria's lips curled into a cruel smile. Gone was the slightly worried lovesick Vampire I'd met at the Hotel back when I was human. What had taken her place was cruel and animal-like, a predator playing with her prey. "I've been tracking you since you left America and – if the humans hadn't told me – I would never have guessed you were Mated."

I winced internally, knowing what she had said would have been a low blow to Edward. Not only was it a reminder of how I had been treating him, but she was inclining that we weren't Mates; that I wasn't his.

I heard Edward swallow loudly. I wanted to reach out a take his hand, squeeze it to let him know I was there, that I was sorry. But I didn't for fear of distracting him. Victoria's aim was unclear yet she was moving like a cat, ready to strike at any time.

"I didn't know you were Gifted," Edward said suddenly. I looked at Victoria whose surprised face seemed to mirror mine.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"Because I'm Gifted," he replied. "I can read minds and I know that you're Gifted in tracking."

Victoria seemed to swell with pride but her expression remained cold and bitter. "Well it's about time somebody took notice."

"The Volturi didn't take notice though, did they?" Edward continued, taking a step closer to her and leaving me where I was, wondering what the heck he was going on about. "They didn't think your skills were enough to be useful to them. They rejected you."

"The only reason I Qualified was to join the Volturi," Victoria admitted bitterly. "And they didn't _reject _me." She seemed appalled at the word.

"Yes they did." I wanted to slap him just to get him to shut up; how would antagonizing her do any good? "They rejected you just as James rejected you."

Victoria had chosen her moment to pounce but Edward, with his mind-reading abilities, simply side-stepped and avoided her. It was me who she tackled to the ground. Realizing his mistake, Edward pulled her off me and threw her against a tree but not before she had nearly torn my arm off. To my surprise, somebody trying to rip your arm off hurt a Vampire just as much as it hurt a human.

The tree Victoria collided with shook violently but managed to stay upright. She was on her feet before the branches had stopped swaying and had her arm around Edward's neck in less than three seconds.

I watched in horror as a slow and triumphant smile spread its way across Victoria's face. She was going to rip his head off. Of course, because – unlike humans – Vampires were not easily killed. There are thousands of books and films out that daydream about easier ways to kill Vampires; Holy water, wooden stakes, burning by sunlight. The Volturi had only permitted such things because of what they really are; human daydreams.

No, the only way to kill a Vampire is to tear them apart and burn the pieces which left humans with no other choice but bombs. I didn't have a bomb on me. Edward was going to be destroyed; he was going to die. My Mate was going to die.

Letting out a roar that I didn't even know I was capable of, I lunged at Victoria. She had been so busy triumphing in her glory over her easy win that she didn't expect me. It was as though she had expected me to stand around and watch him die. Well, if I had been on the outside of mine and Edward's arguments over the last couple of days I wouldn't have expected me to do anything either.

With a cry of surprise, Victoria's grip loosened on Edward's neck as we both tumbled to the ground. My vision was a mixture of green woodland and red hair so I felt rather than saw Victoria sink her teeth into the top of my arm. Ice cold pain shot through me, mirroring the pain of the turn I had gone through just days before. However where that had been like burning, this was more like the feeling was so cold it hurt.

Another animalistic roar reverberated throughout the woods as Edward tore Victoria off me. It wasn't a matter of thinking from then on; it was survival instinct. The strongest one wins. And the strongest one turned out to be Edward and me as he held Victoria down while I ripped her apart limb from limb.

And it felt _good._

The rush was amazing; finally I got to be a proper Vampire, one who wasn't bound by laws but ruled by their instinct. If it felt this good destroying Victoria, I could only imagine what it would feel like to kill and drink from a human.

"Bella, stop!" Edward's voice broke through my thoughts and I had to stop myself from attacking him when I felt his arm wrap around my wrist. "Bella, it's over. She's dead."

I looked at the pile of body parts at our feet; Victoria would have been unrecognisable had it not been for the red hair that spilled out from the bottom of the pile. Edward produced a lighter from his pocket, set a flame going along one of her dismembered arms and then re-pocketed it. There was a blaze within seconds.

"I didn't know you carried a lighter about," I said, unable to think of anything else to say as I watched my first burning of a Vampire.

"It was Jasper's idea," Edward murmured, his eyes fixed on the crackling embers. A sweet-smelling purple smoke was rising from them. "He said we might need to defend ourselves."

We watched the blaze for a few more seconds before I dived on him. He threw his arms up at first as though trying to shield himself but instantly dropped them when my lips met his. A pang of guilt shot through me then; he'd thought I'd been going to attack him…again.

"She nearly killed you," I explained through kisses.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling my closer. "I'm here."

"I understand now," I told him, pulling away for a second to explain. "I understand why you turned me; the thought of having to carry on living without…"

"Don't think about it," he said, kissing down my neck. My hands tightened in his hair. Whereas when I was human, him kissing my neck would have frightened me now it just spurred me on.

"Clothes," I rasped, tugging at my blood stained shirt.

"Are you sure?" he asked, pulling away from me. "Bella, you've been through so much these past few days. I'm willing to wait."

"Don't lie to me," I smiled.

"Well, at least don't rip them," he said. "We only have one set of clothing."

"We'll ask Lizzie for more," I told him, waving the worry away. "You were right; having allies might come in useful."

"I've missed you so much," he whispered, his kisses growing more vigorous as we shed our clothing.

"I know," I told him. "I'm sorry."

And then the talking ceased.

(*)

Had I been human, I would have been ashamed to admit we didn't do much running for the next day or so. It turned out we had a lot of catching up to do.

"The Volturi are still tracking us," I reminded him the next evening as we took a brief break beside a large tree. We had only put a mile between us and Victoria's burning remains. I was starting to worry.

"I know." Edward sighed. He reached out to where we had piled our clothes and started to get re-dressed. "We best get moving."

Trying to hide my disappointment – and regretting I had said anything – I too got dressed. It was only when I was fixing my still blood-stained shirt did I notice movement in the distance between the trees.

"Edward…" I began but stopped when he held a hand up to silence me.

"I know," he whispered at Vampire speed. "I can see them too."

"Do we run?" I asked.

"Running would make us look guilty." He shook his head. "And if it's the Volturi then there's no point, not if they've come this close to us."

Anger welled up inside me; how could we have been so stupid? We'd already had one Volturi scare with Victoria. You would have thought that would have taught us a lesson, given us some hint that we needed to keep moving. But no we'd gotten…distracted.

"It's not the Volturi," Edward said suddenly.

My spirits lifted in hope. "How do you know?" I asked, instantly trusting his judgement. It was brilliant that we had made up. Odd how, though he'd always been with me since we got to England, I'd somehow felt alone until now.

"There's more than one," he explained. My anger was replaced by fear. "If it was the Volturi," Edward went on, feeling the need to explain himself, "Then there would only be the tracker. There would be no need–"

"Yeah, I understand," I interrupted, wanting him to keep his mind on the forms that were vast approaching rather than the Volturi's way of doing things.

The two figures that approached us were indeed Vampires. One was female, the other male but both were tall with well-fed ruby red eyes shining from their pale faces. My mouth filled with venom just looking at their eyes and I began to wonder what human blood tasted like. I imagined feeding from Lizzie or Nikki or even Kellan. Lost in my own thoughts, I was surprised when I felt someone grab me from behind; somebody so much stronger than me.

"Vladimir, easy on the lady," the tall male commanded looking over my shoulder.

To my right, I heard Edward snarl. He too had been gripped by a Vampire, his hands trapped behind him.

"There's no point in fighting, pet," the female told him. "We're not going to hurt you. We just want to talk."

The male didn't seem to agree with her as he sniffed and looked away in distaste. Edward's eyes widened as he heard something I could not and he kicked and thrashed some more.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"I'm Siobhan, dear," the female told me, smiling gently. She almost reminded me of Esme – almost. "This here is Alistair and our warrior friends are Stefan and Vladimir."

"Warrior _friends_?" It didn't seem right that somebody who looked as gentle as Siobhan would be friends with the Vampires who were holding Edward and me down.

"They're Gifted," Siobhan explained with a wave of her hand. "They're the strongest Vampires we've ever met."

"Siobhan," Alistair growled, "Enough of the talking. Let's get moving."

"Of course, of course." Siobhan was nodding quickly. "Boys." That seemed to be some sort of signal for as soon as the word left her plump lips a brown bag smelling of soil and potatoes was placed over my head. Enough light filtered through the strands for me to make out the pattern in the fabric but I couldn't get a clear picture of outside as we moved.

And moved we did.

It felt as though I was being dragged at Vampire speed. My legs were in the air but at the same time I felt they could drop at any minute. It was uncomfortable and humiliating and I was about to suggest I just run along side them when we came to a stop.

"In the chairs," came Alistair's cool voice. We were inside now. The air was different and the songs of the birds in the woods had become muffled by walls. Strong hands guided me into a wooden chair before the bag was ripped from my face.

The room was cold and bare apart from the table and chairs in the centre which were bolted to the floor. The walls and floor were tiled with a blue colour light enough to send a million reflections to the Vampire eye, making it hard to focus.

It reminded me of a disinfected hospital or, more accurately…

"An interrogation room," Edward said beside me. I looked to my right to find he too was sat in a chair. There was nothing stopping us from jumping up and heading for the door behind us but I could feel rather than see the presence of the two Gifted Vampires already there. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of hauling me back to my seat.

Edward, however, did.

"There's no point, pet," Siobhan told him sympathetically as he was forced back into his seat by Vladimir and Stefan. She and Alistair were now sitting opposite us. The phrase 'Good cop, Bad cop' ran through my mind.

"We had good reason," Edward blurted suddenly. Siobhan and Alistair looked at him with surprise. I was feeling a little left out.

"Good reason for what?" I asked.

"Destroying a Vampire," Alistair said, recovering first.

"That's classed as an offence?" I asked, surprised. "But I thought…" I trailed off, realizing I wasn't sure of the Volturi Law when it came to Vampires killing Vampires. Vampires killing werewolves, yes but each other? It seemed…unheard of.

"Just because the Council are more concerned with the werewolves, doesn't mean we don't look after our own." It was the first time I'd heard Siobhan sound anything other than friendly. She sounded bitter and it didn't suit her. "State your names."

"Edward Masen and Bella Swan," Edward answered bitterly.

Alistair shook his head. "Americans," he muttered under his breath. "Think they're the centre of the universe. Why Carlisle went over there I'll never know–"

"Carlisle?" I repeated, picking up the familiar name.

"It's not an uncommon name amongst older Vampires," Edward said, already one step ahead of me.

"Do you mean Carlisle Cullen?"

Alistair looked even more surprised. "You've met him?" he asked, all interrogation-technique gone and replaced by what sounded like worry. "Is he okay?"

"He was a good friend of mine," Edward explained. He seemed surprised that Alistair knew Carlisle as well. So surprised, in fact, that he let his tense slip.

"Was?" I repeated.

"Is," Edward corrected himself. "He is a good friend of mine. We've just gone our own ways for a bit."

"So what's he up to now then?" Alistair asked. "Is he working with the Guardians over there?"

"Guardians?" Edward asked.

"No?" Alistair guessed. "Well, how about the Hell Raisers then?"

"Hell Raisers?" I asked.

Alistair's eyes flickered between the two of us. "Wow." He sat back and whistled. "He hasn't told you anything has he?"


	27. Almost Dinner

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**27. Almost Dinner**

Edward didn't react. Instead, he seemed to stare past Alistair and into the wall behind him as though it held the secrets Carlisle had been keeping from us. I was left glancing between the two of them, wondering if one was baiting the other.

"Alistair," I began when I realized Edward wasn't going to speak up. "We've been through quite a lot lately and I would appreciate it if you didn't keep things from us."

Alistair cocked an eyebrow, seeming both amused and surprised. "I'm not keeping anything from you," he said. "I'm just saying that you don't know Carlisle as well as you might think."

I looked at Edward again. A muscle in his jaw jumped as though he was fighting the urge to say something. I thought of Edward's Gift and wondered if Carlisle had kept his mind shut as well as his mouth over the years that Edward had known him.

I remembered the flash of betrayal I had felt when I found out Angela had known about Mrs. Cope being a werewolf and had kept the secret from me. I'd only known her for a few months yet the fact she had lied to me stung. I could only imagine how Edward felt right now, knowing the Vampire he seemed to look towards as a father figure hadn't been completely honest with him.

"Then why don't you tell us?" I asked. "Tell us everything you know about Carlisle."

"Why should I?" Alistair threw back. "You're here because you murdered a Vampire, not to discuss your supposed-friend's personal business."

"Alistair." Siobhan's Irish accent sounded like a warning. He looked at her as though he wanted to say something but instead tore his gaze away from us all and stared at the wall to our right. Edward carried on staring too. I internally rolled my eyes; it must have been a guy thing.

"Now," Siobhan said, as though some invisible signal had told her to take the reigns. "We just want to find out what happened to result in the death of a Vampire."

For the first time, I wondered if her motherly act was indeed just that; an act. I wondered if she was just as annoyed with us as Alistair.

"She tried to kill us," I said.

"Really?" Siobhan sounded only mildly interested, as though she didn't really believe me.

"Yes. She tried to kill us so we killed her first." I met Siobhan's gaze full-on. "Survival of the fittest."

"That's a phrase often associated with animals," she commented casually.

"That's what we are though isn't it?" I asked. "Animals." Siobhan frowned. "Our natural instinct is to hunt like predators yet the Volturi stripped that away from us. We're like caged animals."

Siobhan seemed to consider what I was saying for a few seconds but in the end she shook her head and nodded at Edward. "Speaking of hunting," she said. "I need you to explain your eye colour."

"Why?" I asked, placing a hand on Edward's arm and feeling suddenly protective of him. My eyes were still a reddish colour due to my change but soon enough they would turn gold like Edward's and I couldn't wait. I hated it when they singled him out because of it.

"We just need to know."

"I hunt animals," Edward replied. Siobhan and Alistair's expressions remained unchanged. They knew how his eyes got like they did, they wanted to know the _why._

"Personal preference only," I said suddenly, remembering Irina tell us about how they sometimes associated eye colour with the few Vampire Hell Raisers. "We're not fans of human blood."

Alistair's lips curled into a slow smile. "Don't make me laugh," he hissed.

"What she means," Edward cut in, speaking for the first time in what felt like forever, "Is we choose animal blood because it allows us to hunt; to be ourselves."

Both of them considered this answer. I could see them deciding on whether Edward's answer meant we were against the Volturi's drinking laws or not.

"Tell us about more about this Vampire," Alistair eventually said, getting his head back in the game. "Who was he?"

"She," I corrected. "Her name was Victoria. I don't know her last name." I felt Edward tense beside me and wondered if I had said something wrong or if I was speaking too much.

"She was American," I added, for some reason thinking this would work in my favour.

"And did she have any reason to kill you?" Siobhan went on.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked suddenly.

"Because somebody needs to care!" Siobhan blurted as though she couldn't help herself. I frowned at her and looked towards the two men for answers.

"The Volturi don't care if we lose a few Vampires," Alistair explained bitterly. "The way they see it the fewer Vampires in the world the better; it means they'd be more powerful and have more humans to feed on. The only reason they don't want Vampires murdering humans is because they need the blood. And they protect the werewolves because, one day, they plan to use them as weapons."

"And what about the Shape-Shifters?" I asked.

"Nobody cares about them," Edward stated.

"Well, I do!" I cried, thinking of Jacob. It had been a few days since they caught him and I began to wonder if he was even still alive and, if so, what they were keeping him alive for.

Edward stared at me for a moment too long before turning back to Alistair and Siobhan. "I killed her Mate," he explained suddenly. "Victoria came after me because I killed her Mate."

Siobhan's eyes widened in fury to the point where I found myself shrinking back from her.

"And why would you do that?" Alistair continued the interrogation. His voice was calm but by the one nervous glance he gave to Siobhan I knew he was worried about her.

"Because he set a werewolf on my Mate," Edward explained just as calmly.

The anger seemed to leave Siobhan like a deflating balloon.

Alistair looked bored and exasperated all at once. "Why don't you start from the beginning?" he asked.

So we did. For the third time since our arrival, we told them everything. I was a little hesitant at first; these people seemed angry at the Volturi but that didn't make them against them like the other allies were. However, Edward seemed to trust them and I trusted him because of his Gift.

"Now tell us about Carlisle," Edward demanded once he'd finished reciting.

For a second I wondered if Edward had made some sort of bargain; tell them everything in return for them telling us about Carlisle. It was risky.

Alistair pursed his lips. "Back in the 1600s, Carlisle and I were friends. _Human _friends." He gave a small smile, "I vaguely remember us growing up together."

I glanced at Edward who seemed set on keeping his facial expressions neutral.

"When we were in our mid-teens we joined a resistance group. It was Carlisle's idea; his father was a pastor and it was during a time when more and more people were turning to religion. I suppose you could say, Carlisle and I were part of the earliest form of the Hell Raisers." His fond smile quickly turned to a frown. "But my family wasn't as rich as Carlisle's. I was the eldest son of a pauper and by the time my eighteenth birthday came around, my mother was dying because we couldn't afford a doctor. I Qualified much to Carlisle's anger."

"But Carlisle Qualified too didn't he?" I asked, looking at Edward for conformation. He didn't even acknowledge me.

"Yes, he did." Alistair nodded. "But only because I did. I was his best friend and he didn't want to be left behind. Where I became a Vampire straight away and went about dealing with other Vampires in order to get the medicine my mother needed, Carlisle held off for a bit." It was only at this point that I noticed how young Alistair looked. He'd only been turned when he was a year older than Edward and me. "I think Carlisle had hoped he could still be classed in the same league as me but remain human. He chose to act on his Qualification and become a Vampire when he was twenty-three, shortly after his father found out he had Qualified."

"So even though you hated the Vampires they allowed you to Qualify?"

"I think they saw it as a way of converting us," Alistair said thoughtfully. "Qualifying back then relied more on work experience than education as it does now. It seemed, without us realizing it, Carlisle and I had adopted a 'if you can't beat the join them' attitude."

"So Carlisle became a Vampire just because you did?" Edward asked, finally speaking and sounding bewildered.

"That's what I thought at first," Alistair agreed, nodding. "But then Carlisle started to talk about protecting the Vampires."

"He wanted an equal world," Edward told him. "He _wants _an equal world, sorry."

"And maybe he thought it'd be easier to achieve that on the Vampire side of things," I chipped in.

Alistair leaned back in his chair and spread his arms out. "Well, how's that going for him?"

Edward ignored him. "So when he was human, Carlisle was basically a Hell Raiser and when he became a Vampire he started the Vampire Guardians in a bid to protect the Vampires when the Councils were too busy looking after the humans and the werewolves."

Alistair narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "I didn't tell you what we were called," he said, "Not fully anyway."

"Oh, I can read minds," Edward said casually. "It's my Gift."

"You could have told us that sooner," Alistair growled.

"So you could have hid things from me?" Edward shook his head. "You've got nothing to hide apart from that fact you hate the Volturi a lot more than you're letting on."

"For all our faults we do want to live," Siobhan pointed out.

"I joined the Guardians when my family died away," Alistair explained. "Carlisle left about fifty years after to go to America where I hear he met his Mate."

Siobhan reached out and placed her hand on Alistair's.

Edward turned to her as though just noticing her for the first time. "And why are you here? If you don't mind me asking," he added hurriedly. It seemed Edward lost his manners when he was on the run.

"Ireland joined the Resistance half a century ago," Siobhan said proudly. "We're waiting for you Americans to catch up."

"I meant you specifically," Edward rephrased.

"That's personal," Siobhan sniffed. "Stay out."

Tension filled the small room once again so I decided to try and dispel it by voicing a question. "When you say Resistance, do you mean the Hell Raisers?"

"There are different branches when it comes to the Resistance," Alistair explained, "Some are not all good."

"But you were part of the Hell Raisers once weren't you?" Edward pressed. "You must agree with at least some of the things they say."

Alistair glared at Edward, both of them refusing to look away for several seconds. "I think we've heard enough," Alistair said suddenly. "Stefan, Vladimir, please escort our guests out."

"Guests?" I repeated. "You mean you're not going to throw us in jail?"

"What good would jail be to a Vampire?" Alistair asked, amused. "You're new to this life, Bella, I can tell. Be careful." He flickered his eyes between the two of us. "Both of you."

"And let me get you some new clothes before you go," Siobhan said suddenly. "We can't have you talking round looking like that!" She pointed at the blood stains on my shirt.

Looking like what? I wondered. A monster?

(*)

The street was similar to the one Charlie had lived in. The pavement was damp from rain and few people went about on their errands. Due to his eye colour, Edward had sent me out into the street to talk to somebody.

"Excuse me," I said to a middle-aged woman before she entered a grocery shop. She looked up at me then recoiled slightly. This surprised me. In America, humans either accepted the Vampires or were disgusted by them. This woman seemed frightened. "I was wondering if you could tell us where I am?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "London," she answered.

Ah, London; the capital of Britain where their Vampire monarch of five hundred years took residence.

"Thank you," I said, feeling stupid. I wanted to explain to her that I'd been dragged here against my will with a bag over my head but decided against it. Things would get too complicated.

"What are you buying?" I asked suddenly.

She looked even more surprised, if possible. "F-food," she answered eventually.

"That's nice," I smiled. "I remember when I used to buy food." The outside smell of the vegetable aisle at the Thriftway filled my memory. Charlie rarely ate vegetables so it was an aisle I didn't go down often. I found myself getting slightly choked up. "Thank you," I said again.

The woman smiled meekly and I was about to turn away and return to Edward when she brushed her long black hair back over her shoulder and I caught a glimpse of her neck. Her heartbeat suddenly filled my ears, the scent of her blood overwhelmed me, venom pooled in my mouth. I took in involuntary step forward…

And went crashing to the floor.

"Terribly sorry!" I heard what sounded like Edward say from on top of me. "She's feeling a bit off; must have been an out-of-date blood bag they gave her at the Bank."

I could only imagine the horror on the woman's face as Edward scooped me up and ran with me into the woods…again. The whole country was covered in them.

"Was that you trying a British accent?" I questioned when he put me down on a patch of green, wet grass under a large tree.

"Was that you trying to kill a human?"

I hung my head in shame. "She smelled so good," I murmured. "I don't know how you do it. The others didn't smell like that."

"Certain blood types seem more appealing than others," Edward explained. "It seems evolution thought we deserved a bit of a variety."

"Evolution?" He waved a hand, telling me he didn't want to discuss his beliefs. I changed the topic, "Did I smell that good?" I asked, "When I was human?"

His eyes darkened and he swallowed loudly as he remembered. "Your blood was appealing, yes," He leant over me, forcing me to lie down on my back, "But there were other parts that were equally appealing too."

I laughed and pushed him off me. "Edward, I want to talk," I said.

"What about?"

"What were Siobhan and Alistair thinking?" I asked.

His expression grew serious. "Nothing they didn't tell us," he said.

"So they are against the Volturi?" I asked.

"In their own way, yes," he said. "But they're also not happy with the Hell Raisers destroying Vampires." He frowned.

"What is it?" I asked.

"There was something else too," he admitted. "Another group that they were worried about but I couldn't quite understand what they were thinking."

"Well I'm sure we'll find out soon," I said, trying to cheer him up. "This country's too small for secrets."

"Hm," was all he said. "I suppose that explains why that woman was afraid of you back there. She must hear all sorts of stuff about the Resistance Groups. I didn't bother reading her mind."

"She might even be part of one," I suggested. I buried my face in my hands. "I can't believe I nearly killed her." But at the same time I could. It was my instinct.

"Don't worry," Edward tried to cheer me up. "I was watching you the whole time. I wouldn't have let you harm her."

"But what if I had?" I asked him. "What if I'd cut her just a little bit?" Edward didn't answer so I continued, "Would you have stopped me then? Or would you have joined me?" Again, no answer. "Do you ever wonder what it's like to kill a human? To drink from them live?" I ran a hand up his thigh. "I do."

"Bella," he growled, suddenly throwing me onto the ground. I expected him to kiss me and to want sex but instead he pulled back. "Don't talk about humans like that."

"But you think about it though, don't you?" I asked, suddenly panicked. Was I a freak?

He swallowed loudly, closed his eyes, and gave a brief nod. "I try not to," he said as though trying to make up for his admission. "But it's…"

"In our nature," I finished for him. "It's okay, I know." I hugged him, planting gentle kisses on his neck.

"Bella," he croaked. "I think we should join the Resistance."


	28. Other Mates

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**28. Other Mates**

The next couple of days were quiet as Edward and I considered our options.

"I think the best bet would be to go and see Lizzie," Edward decided at last. "If we could just get her to tell us what she was hiding in the first place then we would have the full story."

I just nodded but something had been playing on my mind. "Edward, why do you think Alistair joined the Guardians?" I asked him.

We'd been walking along a river which flowed near the edge of a cliff. When I asked him my question he stopped walking. "He told us; his family had died out."

"Yeah but why join the Guardians?" I pressed. "He only became a Vampire to help his mother out. After his family had died out, why didn't he just become a Vampire Hell Raiser?"

"Irina's one of a kind," Edward pointed out gently. "She's the only Vampire I know of who's comfortable with the Hell Raisers let alone in league with them."

"Do you think he joined for Carlisle?" I asked.

Edward picked up a stone at his feet and examined it carefully. "I know what you're thinking, Bella," he said.

"Well, that makes a change."

He smiled slightly at my joke. "Esme is Carlisle's Mate," he said finally.

"But maybe you can have more than one Mate," I suggested meekly. He whirled round, the stone – now abandoned – splashing into the river.

"Vampires only have one Mate." Edward's voice was cold and final.

"But it's obvious Alistair has – or, at least, had – feelings for Carlisle," I said, sounding like I was pleading. "For all we know Carlisle might return them just not to the extent that he does with Esme." Edward had gone very still. I decided to venture further, "Just as it's obvious that Tanya has – or had – feelings for you. The question is: did you return them?"

He closed his eyes and looked away. "I'll understand if you did," I told him. That seemed to be a lie as my throat caught as though I was choking on jealousy. "The way you talked to Irina about your time together…it was obvious you had some sort of connection to her."

"What about you?" he suddenly asked. "Did you have some sort of connection to Jacob?"

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped in surprise at his question. I hadn't seen that one coming at all.

"Shape-Shifters Imprint," I told him, realizing I wasn't actually answering his question. "It's different."

"Just because we name something doesn't make it different," he said, almost to himself. "I'm sorry, Bella, but I can't say anything to you other than I'm your Mate and your mine."

My hands clenched in annoyance. "You could always just tell me the truth," I suggested bitterly. "Just tell me how you really feel, Edward! Stop lying to me!"

"Alright!" he roared, making me flinch back slightly. "I have feelings for Tanya; it's not love but I still care for her. Not that any of it matters because she's dead." He stopped and looked as surprised as I was to find himself breathing heavily in frustration. "Both Jacob and Tanya are dead," he said, a lot quieter now.

"You don't know that," I said, cupping his face in my hands. "We don't know that yet. They still might have a chance."

"So long as the Volturi is still standing, nobody has a chance," Edward whispered. He held me close to him and I traced the shape of a heart over his chest. My throat was clogged with tearless sobs and I hoped he understood what I was silently conveying to him.

I think he did because he held me tighter.

(*)

"What do you think would have happened to you if you'd never met Tanya?" I asked him several hours later. We'd walked miles and had stopped to take in the view of the mountainside we were climbing.

"I try not to think about that," he admitted.

"Why?"

"Chances are I wouldn't have Qualified for a VQA and I would have just spent my life human."

"There's nothing wrong with that," I said. I felt caught in the middle. Part of me wanted to hunt and be a Vampire and rebel against the Volturi for controlling us whilst another part of me still defended the humans as though I was one of them.

"I wouldn't have met you though," he pointed our sadly.

There was a brief pause before I broke it by blurting, "Mating is weird isn't it?"

"How do you mean?" His tone told me he hadn't expected the conversation to take such a drastic turn.

"Well, you would have found somebody else," I explained, "If you'd stayed human. You probably would have married some girl and lived in a house with a dog and 2.4 kids."

He frowned. "2.4? How does that work? I thought children came in whole numbers."

"It's a saying." I waved it off to tell him it wasn't important though part of me wondered how much Edward knew about children and where they came from. I couldn't imagine Sex Ed taking place back in the 1910s.

"But I wouldn't have been happy," he said confidently.

"You don't know that!" I cried in frustration. "Can't you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"That you don't miss what you don't have?" he suggested meekly, reminding me of my younger human self whenever a teacher picked on me in class and I didn't know the answer.

"No!" I looked out onto the mountains, trying to get my thoughts together, before sighing. "I don't think even I know what I'm trying to say."

"Is this to do with Tanya?" Edward asked. "About me…caring for her?"

"I guess so," I said. "I think I'm just worried that something will happen to me or you."

"What makes you say that?"

"I've just got this feeling – maybe I'm Gifted," I added that last part as a joke but Edward regarded me seriously.

"I think you're Gifted too," he said. "But I don't think it's got anything to do with feelings. We'll ask Irina about it if we meet up with her again. She's been around a long time, she might have seen something like you."

"You seem fond of Irina don't you?" Before he could reply however, I said, "What do you mean something like me? What makes you think I'm Gifted?"

"I can't read your mind," he stated as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. In a way it was.

I'd grown used to being a mental mute around Edward. It wasn't something I had thought of as a Gift – it was just who I was. Besides, Edward hadn't been able to read my mind as a human – and humans weren't Gifted.

"You'd have to tell her about your Gift," I pointed out. "Are you ready to do that? You told Siobhan and Alistair easy enough."

"I know," he admitted. "I think I was feeling a little guilty." He smirked as though he was a little boy who'd been caught doing something naughty.

"You mean guilty because you were looking into people's thoughts without warning them or asking for permission?"

"Permission wouldn't make a difference." He settled down on a large rock and I sat next to him, snuggling into his side. "I always hear them whether they like it or not. Except when I'm with you," he added. "I like the silence."

"And here's me thinking you liked me for me," I joked. He looked panicked at first before he saw me smiling.

However, his face stayed serious. "So you think something will happen to us then?"

I groaned. "I don't know," I admitted, "But something tells me we can't be on the run forever."

"Did you speak to Jasper before we left?" he blurted, his words rushed.

I frowned. "No, I had no time to. We left straight after he explained everything. You were with me the whole time. Why?"

"Nothing." Edward shook his head. "I just try not to think about that time; when you were angry with me."

"I'll be apologising for that for the rest of forever," I admitted.

We watched the sun set, giving an orange back drop to the dark forms of the mountains. I held my hand out for the light to catch my marble skin, as did Edward. I smiled with glee as we sat in silence, watching the rainbow of colours dance from our hands onto the rocks around us.

I couldn't remember being this happy.

"What are smiling about?" he asked.

"Just being with you," I admitted. "I think I like it being just the two of us."

"Well that makes a change."

"How many times do I have to apologise?" I asked but I wasn't exasperated. I knew I had been in the wrong to be mad at Edward. I should have put myself in his shoes, should have realized that if I had had the ability to save him from death I would have done it no matter what he thought.

I still would.

"Do you think we'll hear from the others soon?" I asked.

For a moment I didn't think Edward would answer but then he said, "Maybe, maybe not. Alice is the psychic not me." He sounded distracted.

"What are you thinking?" I asked him.

"About the Resistance," he admitted.

I frowned. "You've figured out what to do then?"

"I think we should see Lizzie," he said, returning to an earlier idea. "If we start travelling now we could get back to her by tomorrow night."

"Hm," I agreed, lifting my head up and facing him. "But if we set off tomorrow morning, we could get there the day after tomorrow."

"Why would we–? Oh," Edward realised my intentions as I began kissing my way up his neck and running my hand over his chest.

"Still want to set off tonight?" I asked, smiling against his lips.

"No, I think we can wait until tomorrow." He made it sound like I was forcing him.

(*)

I didn't have to tell Edward something was wrong. He knew just by looking at me, by watching the way I was so aware of every snapping twig and hooting bird.

"They can't hurt you now," he assured me, holding me close to him as we looked up at the full moon. "Besides, I doubt many werewolves reside in Britain. It's not really their climate."

I nodded but couldn't bring myself to tear my eyes away from the white orb. No matter how much Edward tried to calm me, I still felt a stab of fear when I heard rustling in the trees around us. It turned out I had a right to be worried.

It was the snarl that came first. We were almost at Lizzie's and had dropped our guard thinking we could make it without crossing one.

"Bella, get behind me," Edward growled, stopping and pulling me close to him. We would have ran but the snarling seemed to be coming from all around us and we weren't sure whether or not the direction we would choose would just lead us straight into its path. My fingers dug into Edward's shirt, almost tearing it.

"It can't hurt us," I reminded him and myself. "Not if we fight together."

"But we can't hurt it," Edward pointed out. "That'll give the Volturi even more of an excuse to execute us."

Just as I was about to wonder whether Britain had an L.W.C, the dark form of a werewolf leapt from the bushes and onto the grass in front of us. Its yellow eyes seemed to glow grotesquely in its skull and its fangs dripped a substance of what looked and smelled like a mixture of drool and animal blood.

"Run," Edward hissed in my ear. And run we did, we ran as fast as we could, never losing sight of each other and always trying to loose sight of the werewolf. Its snarls ripped into my memory of that dreadful night in Phoenix.

I did my best to block it out. I was a different person now, a stronger one. I wouldn't go down so easily.

"Bella, look!" Edward cried. He was pointing to the sky where a faint yellow colour was rising on the horizon. Dawn. Soon the werewolf would be nothing but naked and delusional, back in their human form.

I came to a sudden stop, much to Edward's panic. He tugged at my arm furiously. "Bella, come on!" he begged. "We have to keep moving!"

I dug my toes into the soft earth. "I want to see it," I said, quietly at first because I felt I had let myself down. These were the creatures that had haunted my humans and now I was letting my curiosity put us in potential danger of getting killed by one.

But I wanted to see the beast shrivel and die and become nothing but a useless thing with the useless abilities of a human. I wanted to be the first thing it saw when it woke up and realized it wasn't so powerful anymore not when it compared itself to me; a Vampire.

"Bella…" Edward began, but trailed off when something behind me caught his eye.

I looked too, unsure what I was seeing at first as the werewolf stumble through the bushes. It was the same monstrous creature as what we had seen before; black matted fur, pointed ears, front paws that looked more liked hands with talons as long as my hand span. However, it wasn't running with powerful strides anymore. Instead it stumbled as though it had been injured. For a second I thought somebody might have shot at it with silver but, upon sniffing the air, I sensed no other presence.

The beastie howled as though it was in pain before curling up into a foetal position. Its fur seemed to contract back into its skin as its limbs shrunk to the size of a human's.

Both Edward and I watched with horrid fascination as the werewolf – now in human form – looked up so we could see her face.

"Lizzie!" I gasped, stumbling back slightly.

I was shocked, she was the last person I had expected to be a beastie. But it explained what she had been keeping from Edward. It horrified me even more as I realized I hadn't been able to tell she was a werewolf when we had first met, she'd smelt just like a human. I hated that, it was like they tried to trick us, like they were more human than we were. It wasn't fair.

"Bella…Edward," she croaked, slowly getting to her feet. The fact that she was naked didn't bother her in the slightest. "Nice to see you again." She rubbed her throat as Edward took off his shirt and handed it to her. She smiled her thanks as she slipped it on, it reached halfway down her thighs.

Werewolf or not, she was a half-naked blonde and I glanced suspiciously at Edward. He looked just as shocked as I felt.

"Why didn't you tell us?" I asked. I wasn't angry, my voice was a whisper which sounded more like she had betrayed me.

"You may not be allowed to kill us but I've yet to meet a Vampire who likes werewolves." I looked away, giving away my guilt. "Exactly," Lizzie said as though she had made a point.

"How interesting," Edward muttered as though he was mulling something over. I looked at him in surprise. "I was just thinking that we really had no idea she wasn't human. I mean, she looked human."

"She smelt it too," I said without realizing.

"Watch it." Lizzie pointed at me and, for the first time, looked threatening. "I've got friends that are all for ripping you lot apart come next full moon."

"There are more of you?" I asked, surprised.

"There's a whole group of us."

Edward made a noise of what sounded like a Vampire version of a gasp. I looked at him as realization dawned on his face. "The other group," he murmured.

"You've got to be kidding me!" I cried. "Werewolves are now against the Vampires? They get preferential treatment for goodness sake!"

"Yeah and we're not thick!" Lizzie shot back. A heavy silence fell over us as Edward and I stared at her in surprise. The sun was rising higher now, casting enough light onto her face for me to see her fully. Where she had looked young and playful on the beach she now seemed old and tired. Her wide green eyes closed for a moment as she collected herself. Finally she sighed and said, "We know why the Volturi have laws against killing us. They want us on their side – they want us as weapons."

"Weapons for what anyway?" I asked, wondering why Vampires would need _weapons._

Lizzie fell silent.

"You can tell us," Edward assured her. "We're pretty good at keeping secrets." He smirked and she gave him a small smile back.

"There are rumours that the Volturi have a plan," Lizzie admitted reluctantly.

"A plan? What plan?" It was the first time I had heard of it.

Lizzie shrugged. "Nobody knows the specifics but some werewolves from Italy think they're plotting something, and it's something that would only benefit them."

"They are quite a selfish bunch," Edward admitted.

"No kidding," I muttered, thinking of the royalty they held whilst the rest of the Vampires struggled under their laws in the real world.

Lizzie's face seemed to soften as she took us in. "My cottage isn't far," she said. "Let's go back there and talk – I haven't exactly been straight with you."

"No you haven't," Edward agreed. "Just as we haven't been completely straight with you."

Lizzie's eyes widened in surprised before they narrowed in suspicion. Her eyes flickered between the two of us.

"Just him," I added, knowing Edward was referring to his Gift. "I've been completely straight with you."

"You've change your clothes," she noted, absent-mindedly. "I thought you didn't bring anything with you."

"We had to," I explained. "Our other ones were covered in animal blood and then we killed a Vampire–"

"You destroyed a Vampire?" Lizzie repeated. I couldn't help but notice under the surprise, her tone sounded almost…respectful. "What the hell have you been up to?"


	29. Werewolf Warehouse

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**29. Werewolf Warehouse **

Lizzie's cottage looked exactly the same as it had the night Edward and I arrived on the beach. It was hard, looking round the familiar wood furniture and warm fire, to even think about what had happened in the days since. As a Vampire I remembered everything and yet as a Vampire it seemed like years ago to me.

"Any word on your friends?" Lizzie asked, emerging from her bedroom showered and dressed. Drops of water from her still-wet hurt darkened her green T-shirt at her shoulders making it look like she was wearing army camouflage. She threw Edward's shirt back at him. No thank-you, her face was all business-like now.

"No," I said automatically, surprising myself by sinking into a dining room chair. It was a very human thing to do yet it had felt so natural, so easy. Probably because Jacob had never seen me 'Vamped up' – just the thought of him made me feel human again.

Lizzie nodded, pursing her lips. "You'll probably never find out, you know," she said casually, taking the other chair. "The Volturi will never tell if you ask them and there's very little chance they'll escape."

I closed my eyes, the realization that I had lost my best friend for good was setting in and I didn't like it. Hope fought against it, two magnets repelling one another. There would be no winner, no outcome. I would never have peace until I knew for sure.

"I'll find out," I said confidently. "Even if it's the last thing I do."

I held Lizzie's gaze as I said it and for a moment there was nothing but the sound of the crackling fire and the waves outside. Then something clicked in Lizzie's expression. She sat up straight suddenly and leaned forward. I leaned in too, aware Edward was doing the same behind me.

"How about I introduce you to the Lycanthropes?" Lizzie whispered, her voice barely audible as though she suspected her own house of being bugged.

Edward and I exchanged a glance before he said, uneasily, "Bella doesn't exactly have a soft spot for werewolves."

"Name me a Vampire who does!" Lizzie laughed without humour.

"The Volturi." The words came out before I even thought about it. I'd just assumed ever since I was little that the Volturi must like the werewolves otherwise they wouldn't be so keen to protect them with their stupid, unfair laws.

But Lizzie was shaking her head instantly as though she had known what I had been about to say. "They don't like them," she said. "It's all part of their plan."

"You keep mentioning a plan," Edward said, walking forward and crouching beside me so both of us were at eye level and facing Lizzie. "What exactly is this plan?"

"I told you; nobody knows the specifics!" She sounded frustrated, her head went into her hands and for the first time since I had met her she looked tired and lost. "My dad knows some werewolves in Italy – they're part of the Lycanthropes group too, working undercover – and they said the Volturi have been rounding up our kind."

"You mean werewolves?" I asked.

She nodded. "Lucky for them we don't tend to travel in groups and most of us end up homeless the minute employers find out what we are." She gestured at the small wooden hut around her. As if agreeing, it creaked loudly, the sound of the waves outside seemed louder. "So they pick us up of the street, take us somewhere where nobody sees us again."

"It might be the place where they raise Newborns," Edward offered. We both looked at him and he explained quickly, "Newborn Vampires show immense strength and are uncontrollable so they use werewolves like prison guards."

"I thought you said Bella was a Newborn." She sounded nervous.

"I almost bled out before Edward changed me," I explained. "I shouldn't have survived the change; I should be dead."

"But you're not," Lizzie pointed out the obvious. "So you're obviously meant to be here."

I looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes as she continued. "You guys are clearly something different."

"We're just Vampires," I told her. "Just like 45% of the population."

"44," Lizzie corrected.

"What?" I asked. "How do you know that?"

"Our friends in Italy." She shrugged. "They're there for a reason and they've noticed the population of Vampires has decreased gradually over the last decade."

"But Vampires don't die," Edward said, "Unless…"

"Unless they are destroyed," Lizzie agreed. "Whether that be by accidental werewolf encounter or…"

"The Volturi," I finished. "People are still Qualifying though."

"Because the Volturi don't want anybody to be suspicious," Lizzie carried on.

"Well that should be good for you lot," Edward pointed out, his voice rather cold. "Less Vampires for you to hate."

"Just because we hate a group of Vampires does not mean we hate the race," Lizzie sighed. "That's just stupid. Prejudice may come into it but not hate."

"What do you do exactly?" I asked. "Your group? I know werewolves attacking Vampires isn't a big thing but if you're intentionally doing that then I'm sure it would have caught attention. I've never heard of you."

Lizzie smiled. "That's a compliment. We're gathering information before we launch an attack on the Volturi."

"A whole group of werewolves heading to Italy," Edward mused. "Yeah, that won't seem suspicious at all." I threw a glare at him; he was being rude.

But Lizzie simply smiled patiently. "We're in the early stages – the group was set up by my father himself."

"Peter," Edward said aloud, "Seems like an ordinary enough name."

Lizzie frowned. "I never told you that."

"I read your mind," Edward explained. "I'm Gifted – it's what I was referring to when I said we haven't been completely straight with you."

Lizzie gaped. "Well, that must be the worst thing ever." Her comment was directed at me.

"He can't read mine," I smiled. "I'm the only one immune to his Gift."

"Really?" Lizzie cocked an eyebrow. "They say Aro, the leader of the Volturi is Gifted too you know. Some say his Gift outweighs all the others."

"He is," Edward and I both said.

"Really? How do you know? What is it?" She looked the most eager I had ever seen her.

I let Edward explain. "I read his mind the moment I woke up as a newborn. Most of the Vampires know anyway that he can know everything about a person through just one touch. It's how he finds the truth when he'd punishing them." He swallowed thickly and I knew he was thinking of Tanya, of how Aro now knew about us because of his Gift.

Edward had left Aro's Gift out of the story when he had explained everything to Lizzie the first time we met her. I didn't know why but I imagined it was because he didn't trust her completely. Now he did; this was a sign of moving forward.

Lizzie pursed her lips and I could almost hear the cogs working in her mind as she processed this information.

"Tomorrow," she finally said. "I take you to meet the rest of the group. I need you to explain Aro's Gift to the others."

(*)

The next day Lizzie came out of her cottage to find Edward and I sat on the rocks of the cliff, looking out onto the sea as waves foamed and birds dove. This was another nice thing about being a Vampire; the ability to just stop and take in the world without having to worry about things that needed to be done – because we had forever.

"The meeting place isn't anything special," Lizzie warned us as she led the way through the woods. The soil beneath our feet was beginning to dry but still sunk softly with every footstep. I imagined the Volturi, led by their tracker, examining every dent in the mud as they followed us.

I'd been watching too many of those detective programmes the Vampires loved dishing out.

We came to a stop, hours later, outside an abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Around us trees stretched for miles and birds hooted making the corrugated iron building stick out even more. It was hard to decide which had come first; whether the building had been constructed in the forest years ago, or the forest had grown around it, smothering it with hugs of ivy.

A small door creaked open under Lizzie's weight, and she led the way inside. Edward let me go first and I went without rolling my eyes; I was getting used to his out-of-date manners. I barely heard the door creak shut behind him as I stared in bewilderment at the space around me.

Fluorescent lights shone like beams from Heaven in the high ceiling, metal chairs and tables were arranged haphazardly around the room, mostly unoccupied. Cartons of half-eaten fries sat in front of the few residents, abandoned as they took in their new visitors. But I wasn't looking at any of this; my eyes were glued to an enormous cage in the centre of the room which must have only been built to contain one thing.

"Guys, this is Bella Swan and Edward Masen," Lizzie introduced us, clapping her hands together.

They all kept their eyes – or, in one case, - eye on us. Most faces were scarred, marks etched into their skin like writing in a diary that had been ripped open for the world to see. Some, however, seemed to have been as lucky as Lizzie and showed no sign of what they were. I wondered how that had happened and, as I looked at the marks on my arms, I wondered why I couldn't have been part of the lucky ones.

"Welcome!" one man called. He was standing in the shadows but, upon seeing us, walked straight into the light towards us. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Peter, I lead this group." He held his hand out to Edward who shook it before taking my hand and kissing it.

I smiled, unable to hide my amusement. "Not all Vampires are from the Dark Ages you know," I told him, holding out my hand. He shook it, seeming just as amused at his mistake as me. He had a friendly face, unlike the hard features of his daughter. She must have taken after her mother, wherever she was now.

Peter introduced us to the rest of the group – five in total. Even despite my Vampire memory they all seemed to blur into one. It was kind of sad to see none of them had anything unique about them; they were simply small parts of a bigger picture. They didn't say much to us either, which didn't help. Once the introductions were over they simply went back to their food, some even daring to cast glares at us.

"Don't worry, they'll warm to you eventually," Lizzie told me though she seemed anxious.

"What's the cage for?" Edward asked, voicing the question that had been on my mind since we entered the room.

"It's our Conversion Cage," Peter announced proudly, spreading his arms and making his way over to it. We followed, curious, whilst Lizzie hung back seeming more anxious then ever.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. I wasn't completely stupid – I did have some idea – but that idea seemed too incredible and impossible to be true.

"Those who wish to join us are sometimes not werewolves," Peter explained, as casually as though he was explaining the way his boring IT company worked. "We turn them by using the Conversion Cage to control the werewolf."

My jaw fell open. I couldn't even think of words let alone speak them. Beside me, Edward seemed to be brimming with anger.

"That's terrible!" he cried, finally bursting. I could hear the growl underneath his words, the reminder to Peter that Edward was not human.

"It's all voluntary," Peter said casually. He had obviously expected our reaction though I noticed the way he looked at me, the way his eyes roamed over my marks – too healed by Edward's venom to be fully called 'scars' but yet still there. Did he look concerned or was that just me? "Their heads and arms are covered – we try to get the werewolf to scratch and pass the parasite through areas that are usually covered such as the torso."

"What if they wanted to go to the beach?" I asked suddenly. Both of them looked at me as though that was the last thing they had expected. I didn't know why I said it. Maybe because I remembered how horrified I had been at my own injuries when I had first looked in the mirror after my attack. "What if they wanted to look their best whilst on the beach?"

"Don't be silly," Peter said gently as though he was unsure whether to take me seriously or not. "Bella, people don't go topless on the beach in English weather."

"Who would want that though?" I asked. "I heard the transformation during the full moon is agonizing."

"I wouldn't know," Peter shrugged. "I stay human to monitor it all."

"But you let your daughter become one?" Edward's tone was disapproving. He looked almost disgusted.

"I chose to become one," Lizzie interrupted, "When I was sixteen."

"And you let her?" Edward was still staring at Peter.

"What would you know about parenting?" Peter asked coldly. "You ever had kids back when your heart was beating?"

"No," Edward told him. "But I remembered being one. I was seventeen when I was tricked into becoming a Vampire – Lizzie was just sixteen."

"But I didn't become a Vampire!" Lizzie lifted her shirt up, showing three deep slashes starting under her right breast and ending at the top of her left leg. "I became a werewolf," she said. "And that's a big difference."

Edward dropped his gaze from Peter's and I looked at him sadly. That stand-off hadn't been about me, he'd been putting across his own opinions. Where had my little naïve Edward gone?

I looked at the large cage and sighed, realizing the lucky ones were only lucky because they chose it. "So you're building a werewolf army?" I asked, desperate to change the topic.

"I suppose you could say that," Peter agreed, his face suddenly cheerful and friendly again. "Lizzie told me about you two you know. I'm guessing you're out to bring down the Volturi too."

"Actually we were more like running away from them," I said, looking ashamed. "But we've changed our minds haven't we, Edward? We want to join the Resistance."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Vampires on the Resistance are hard to come by; I'm sure you'll be of value."

"Edward's Gifted," Lizzie offered, sounding like a little girl trying to please her father. "He can read minds."

Peter raised an impressed eyebrow. "How fortunate…and unfortunate," he said. "I trust you'll respect our privacy?"

The werewolves at the metal tables stirred a little at the mention of Edward's Gift. Some shuffled their chairs away as though the small difference in distance would render their brains silent to this strange Vampire.

"I will do the best I can," Edward said. "It's not something I can simply flick a switch on." For a moment I saw the agony in his face that his Gift sometimes caused him; something I hadn't thought about. Having a Gift wasn't something I realized would be a burden.

"Edward knows what Aro's Gift is," she announced suddenly, sharing a glance with her father.

The people around the table's stirred, leaned forward, their previous fears of us forgotten for the prospect of us having information that might help them. Well, Edward had the information. I felt like a spare part at the moment.

"Do tell them," Peter said. "Bella, why don't you and I go outside? I'm sure you wouldn't want to wait around and hear a repeated story would you?"

"But don't you want to know?" Lizzie asked, frowning.

"You can tell me later."

Edward glanced from me to Peter and for a moment I thought he would go back to his usual ways and try and stop me from leaving his line of sight. However, my face seemed to say it all as he simply sighed and turned to the group, beginning the story with how his Gift worked.

Grateful I wouldn't have to stand up to him in front of everyone, I offered him a tentative smile before following Peter outside the warehouse.

"Do people know you're here?" I asked.

"I doubt it," Peter said as we walked slowly through the trees. "We see the Hell Raisers out here sometimes, planting their mines, but they never even look at our place."

"Do people even know about you?" I asked.

"Yes, but we're more of a legend than a threat." He sounded proud, almost smug. "Bella, I hope you don't think I'm being too forward but I would like to discuss something with you."

"What's that?" I asked. We'd come to a stop beside a tree that looked like it had been stuck by lightening. Peter looked up at it and suddenly I knew it had been caused by a werewolf's claw.

"Lizzie told me about your attack," Peter explained. "I'm sorry to hear about it."

"I'm over it," I said in a voice too quick and guarded to be convincing.

He smiled patiently. "For a while I've been trying to recruit the best werewolves in order to give us the best chance of destroying the Volturi." He sighed. "But werewolves age and grow weak…unlike Vampires." He looked away from the tree, at me, his eyes trying to speak to me without words. I realized we were too far away for me to hear Edward – and that meant we were too far away for him to hear me.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"Bella, do you every wonder why it's just the human body that is used as a blank canvas?"

"I don't understand."

"Well, a human could Qualify and become a Vampire or be scratched and become a werewolf but can a werewolf become a Vampire, do you think?" He stopped, a dramatic pause. Leaning in, he whispered, "Can a Vampire become a werewolf?"

I narrowed my eyes, so conscious of my marks I felt as though they were burning into my skin.

"You've already had the parasite inside your blood stream once before, Bella," Peter said. "What's to stop it from happening again?"

"I don't have a bloodstream anymore," I pointed out, refusing to believe what he was saying.

"But maybe you're different," he went on. "Maybe your previous attack would mean you could become the first Vampire to become a werewolf." He raised his eyebrows. "Think about it; a werewolf with the strength and eternal life of a Vampire."

"You have no idea if that could work," I pointed out.

He stepped back, nodding, looking almost disappointed. "True," he admitted. "It's all just theory but would you do it, Bella? If I could guarantee your safety would you give it a try? You could be the one to bring down the Volturi – your name would go down in history."

I stared at him, unable to bring myself to imagine what it would be like inside that cage with a werewolf, knowing full well I wouldn't be pulled out until those claws had slashed agonizingly through my skin.

"I've never been one to like being the centre of attention," I told him, almost coldly. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to my Mate. My _Vampire _Mate."

Peter raised his eyebrows but nodded. "At least take this," he said, and he actually offered me a card. "I'm not doing this for you, Bella, I'm doing it for the rest of the world. Imagine how great it would be without the Volturi."

I took the small card with his phone number on and placed it in the back pocket of my jeans automatically deciding that Edward would never hear of this conversation.

Before we re-entered the warehouse, I asked, "Where's Lizzie's mother?"

Peter stopped in front of me and took several seconds to turn. When he did, I could tell the blank expression on his face had been carefully arranged. "She left just after Lizzie was born."

His tone warned me not to ask any more.


	30. Deadly Mistake

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**30. Deadly Mistake**

Edward and I left shortly after. I could tell by his face that he wanted to talk to me and we both knew we were putting the group's secret location into jeopardy just by being there. We needed to move on, distract the Volturi's tracker by running someplace else.

The Volturi's tracker. I brought him up hours later when we'd climbed to the highest tree to just stop and take in the view. We could see the sea from here, so gray that the horizon seemed to be nothing but a blurred line where the sea and the sky melted into one another.

"The Volturi only have one tracker right?" I asked him, feeling every groove in the tree's bark underneath my fingertips.

"Yes," Edward replied, still looking out into the distance. "Demetri."

"So he can't be tracking us all at once, can he?" I asked. "I mean, there's four separate parties on the run here and add those to all the other people they're probably chasing…"

Edward turned to me with a sad smile, making me trail off. "I think they'll be putting most of their efforts towards catching us," he said. "We're something very different; you and me."

"How?" I asked. "There's nothing special about us. If it weren't for their stupid laws we wouldn't even be Wanted in the first place."

"Perhaps you're right," he agreed reluctantly. "But I like to think we're special. I got a second chance, remember? I thought when I'd messed up with Tanya that I didn't deserve one."

"You didn't mess up," I told him, "Stop talking like that."

It was getting tiresome; his guilt over mistakenly choosing Tanya as a Mate. I decided to change the topic to something else; something I knew he must be avoiding.

"What those werewolves do…" I began, unable to put their practices into words, "Do you think it's right?"

"You mean the conversions?" He'd gone back to looking at the horizon again as though he was afraid to look at my reaction – or afraid for me to see his. "I've been thinking the same thing myself."

"What he did to Lizzie…"

"Technically he didn't do anything," Edward argued weakly. "She wanted it – I could tell from her mind. Still, he was foolish to let her go through with it. She was only fifteen and…" He hesitated, glancing at me sideways.

"Don't you start keeping things from me," I warned, hooking my arm through his. "Come on, Edward, we need to be honest with each other." I thought of Peter asking me about becoming a werewolf and felt a twinge of guilt that, once again, I was glad Edward was unable to read my mind.

"I heard you ask Peter what happened to Lizzie's mother," he said eventually. I physically froze. "You had to just come into hearing range and I heard you ask. It sparked off a lot of memories for him which I read."

"Obviously."

"Sometimes my curiosity gets the better of me," he admitted. "Though I wish I hadn't done it now."

"What is it?" I asked. "Do you know why she left?"

"She didn't leave; she died." Edward's tone was final as though he was the bearer of bad news. I felt as though I should have felt something for this woman but she was unknown to me. All I could picture when I imagined her was Lizzie. "She was the first to try out Peter's conversion trick and it went wrong."

"Oh God." I jumped back as though Edward himself was dangerous for delivering this news.

He nodded sadly, whether as confirmation or at my reaction I couldn't tell. "Peter's never forgiven himself for it, if that helps."

"But he let Lizzie do it! His own daughter!"

"If he'd have refused he would have had to explain," Edward jumped to Peter's defence weakly. "And it had been tried and tested since then. From what I heard, Lizzie's mom has been the only fatality."

I glared at him. "Does reading minds make you automatically on their side?" I asked.

He ducked his head meekly. "I see things from their point of view. It's hard to judge them when you have that ability."

"Well I don't," I said stubbornly, crossing my arms and shuffling away from him as much as I could on the branch.

"I'm not saying it's right," he protested, moving closer to me. "I'm just saying that sometimes it's hard to differentiate between my opinions and theirs'."

"Do you actually have any of your own opinions?" I asked him.

"Of course I do," he said, so close I could feel his breath on my neck. "I love you." He wrapped his arms around me. I thought about pulling away, about starting an argument or at least a healthy debate. But there seemed no need so I let it go, felt myself melting into his arms.

He moved my shirt so that my shoulder was bare to him and he started from there, kissing all the way up to just below my ear lobe. Despite my icy skin, something inside me was burning and I turned my body so that out lips met. Holding on to various branches so we wouldn't fall down, our kisses grew heated until…

I was the one who sensed it first. My body was burning, my senses were on fire so when it reached me the aroma was much stronger than I'd ever encountered it.

"Bella?" Edward whispered. He pulled back to see my face but I wasn't looking at him.

My eyes were trained on the human being below, running towards our tree. She was jogging for exercise. I could hear her heart beating overtime and imagined the blood roaring through her veins.

"Bella, don't!" Edward cried as he tightened his hold on me. Only I was no longer there. I'd slipped from his grasp and was quickly jumping from one branch to the next as I made my way down the large tree. A twig snapped above me; Edward was following but his movements were different. He was caught off guard.

My feet hit the leaf-covered ground with a gentle thud but the jogger didn't hear. She had her iPod in, a band I briefly remembered liking in my human years blared out of her earphones. It tugged at something inside me; my conscience? My rational side? But the urge was too overwhelming. I was going to die if it didn't get to her.

She didn't even cry out when I grabbed her, too shocked to know what was going on. She only let out a surprised squeak when I sunk my teeth into her neck. The hot blood poured down my throat making me wonder how any other source of food, any other nourishment, could suffice when compared to this.

"Bella," it was Edward. I turned to find him watching me and I imagined how I would look; the girl slowing dying in my arms, blood pouring from my mouth. His eyes darkened, he fell easily into a hunting crouch and leapt.

At first I thought he was going to try and take my kill off me and tried to get out of the way but instead of going for me, he want for her leg tearing it open and finding the main artery there. We drank, draining her dry all the while staring into each other's eyes.

Once there was nothing left we both dropped her before he pounced on me. I could hear him snarling as we ripped each other's clothes off.

This was really what being a monster was like.

(*)

It was like waking up from a nightmare, or maybe coming down from a high – though I'd never done drugs. Suddenly I found myself lying naked in the woods, my head on Edward's chest and the blood…

I wasn't sure where it had started but I could feel the blood smeared on my face, on Edward's chest, in my hair. Edward was very still beneath me. I looked up to find him staring straight up at the sky, his face unreadable.

I didn't remember the body until it caught my eye. The lifeless mass was lying just a few feet away from us, still dressed in her running gear only her top had been slightly ripped, her clothes crimson.

"What did we do?" I whispered, horrified.

Edward didn't answer. I looked at him, his jaw clenched. "We killed her," he said at last. "We killed her and drank her blood." Slowly he sat up, making me sit up with him. "But it's okay, right?" He looked at me, a hint of sarcasm coloured his tone. "Because we're Vampires – and that's what we do isn't it?"

"Oh God," I whispered. "Oh God, no!" I jumped to my feet, stumbling back from the body as clumsily as a Vampire can. My eyes burned with tears I could never shed. When my back collided with a tree I didn't try to push through it, I just stopped and let what I had done sink in.

"Bella," Edward said slowly. "There's nothing we can do now. We just…" He trailed off, staring at the young girl whose life we had taken away.

"I was the one who did it." The guilt was overwhelming.

"I should have stopped you. I could have." He looked at me. "I guess the urge was inside me too. I've never done that before – drink from them live – and I guess curiosity got the better of me."

"Curiosity?" I squeaked. "Edward, we _killed _somebody!"

I looked at the girl, her eyes were closed but she was too pale to be sleeping. Dark black hair fanned her face, making a Gothic halo around her. She would have been pretty if not for the tear in her neck and the blood spatters on her face.

"She must have a family," I said quietly, tilting my head to the side. "She looks so young. Her mom will be worried for her."

"Her dad will be looking for her," Edward added.

We looked at each other, shame showing as obvious as the dried blood that covered us. "I think this is one way that the Volturi do good," I whispered. Edward stood and moved towards me but I held a hand up to stop him. "They keep us fed with the Blood Banks so things like this don't happen."

"Bella, the Blood Banks aren't enough." He sounded as though he was trying to reason with me. His stance was that of somebody approaching a scared animal. "This always happens around the world," he tried to convince me. "It's part of who we are."

Part of who we are.

Well I didn't want to be a Vampire anymore. I didn't want to have to constantly drag around this feeling of guilt. I wanted out.

Quick as I could – so quick that I startled Edward – I grabbed for the card in my torn jeans pocket and ran as fast as I could away from him. I didn't hear him following and I wondered if he knew I needed time alone. If he did know then that was nice. I felt like we were finally understanding each other now; working as a couple.

I found a phone box just on the edge of the woods, metres from a small village. Not caring that I was stark naked and covered in blood, I ran to it and dialled Peter's number.

"Hello?" His voice was suspicious. Of course. The group would have caller ID; it was one of the only ways to make sure they didn't talk to anybody they didn't want to.

"Peter, it's me. It's Bella Swan." My voice was shaky. I tried to control it. I was a Vampire; I didn't let my emotions rule me, just my senses. I was an animal.

"Bella! What a surprise! I didn't expect to be hearing from you so soon. You only left us yesterday."

Had it really been a whole night in which Edward and I had devoured the girl before making love fuelled by her life which now pounded on our veins? The thought made me nauseated which was impossible as my stomach no longer worked.

"I want to do it," I said, my voice final.

There was a pause on the other end. Silence. "I need you to be absolutely clear with me."

"I want to be your experiment," I replied confidently. "I want to become a beastie."

"A beastie? You're going to have to be more polite than that."

"Fine, I want to be a werewolf," I corrected myself.

"I'll see you at the warehouse next full moon," he said before disconnecting the line.

I stared at the receiver for a long moment. About a year or so ago I was attacked by the very thing I was about to become but there was no way out. I was never going to be human again, no Shape-Shifting ran in my bloodline, and I couldn't live as a monster who fed off other's life. Suicide wasn't for me; I didn't like the idea of completely giving up.

After the phone call I walked back into the woods, returning to Edward the way I had left. By the time I'd returned he'd buried the body and was carving something into a rock with his nail.

"It's a headstone," he said by way of explanation.

"This is messed up," was my reply as I sunk down next to him. "So when they come looking for her at least they'll see she was buried. If I was her parents I would be freaked out."

"I'm doing my best," Edward said weakly.

"I know," I replied, placing my head on his shoulder. "I know. I'm sorry." We sat in silence as Edward finished the headstone. Once done, he placed it over a patch of dirt that looked flat but its colour gave away the fact it had been overturned recently.

"What now?" I asked.

"We leave," he replied. I opened my mouth to protest but why? Why protest when there was nothing left to do; the damage was done. There was nothing we could do to go back and change anything.

"It was my fault," I said to him as we began walking away. We didn't run at Vampire speed, we walked slowly. I don't know why; maybe we thought it was a mark of respect, or maybe because running would have made us look guilty as well as feel it.

"You're a newborn," Edward said as though he was defending me. "You're still new to all this. I should have prepared you for things like this; made you aware." He looked at the ground sheepishly. "Plus I got you all worked up beforehand."

"Do you want to know the strangest part about all this?" I asked.

"What?"

"If I'd have killed someone when I was human, I'd be going mad by now. But I'm okay – sort of."

"Because it's in your nature," Edward explained. "I feel okay too."

"So why do we still feel guilty?"

"Maybe we're caught in between." He shrugged. "Part human, part animal; human feelings but animal instinct."

"Like a missing link?" I joked.

"We're not exactly missing," Edward pointed out.

We walked a few minutes in silence.

"Edward, do you think Alice would have seen us – me – do that?"

He stopped walking and put his arm around me, almost crushing me to his chest. "I don't think Alice will be watching for us much – her eyes will be on the Volturi." He kissed the top of my head. "But even if she did see – even if any of the others found out – they would understand."

I sighed, our close proximity reminding me of something I had overlooked since discovering the body. "Edward, we need to get some more clothes." It seemed, as a Vampire, nakedness didn't bother me.

"Of course," he said. "But where?"

"There's a village near here," I informed him. "I saw it when I went for a run to clear my head." I'd changed the sentence halfway through and I prayed he didn't notice. If he did, he never let on.

"I'm afraid we're going to have to do some stealing," He looked as though the idea upset him more than killing someone. I looked away from him.

I'd expected us to have to do some secret, undercover work in order to get inside one of the small village houses but Edward had a better idea. We took things from the line. Someone up there had blessed us with a day of occasional sunshine and the villagers were making the most out of it. Their washing lines were all full.

We took what we needed, moving fast in naked blurs and in less than a minute we were fully clothed again, standing on the edge of the woods.

"Do you think they'll notice?" he asked, indicating our clothes.

"That they've got stuff missing? Sure they will. They're human; they don't get much money." Memories of the old shack in Phoenix filled my mind; the small holes in the walls, the leaky roof, the four rooms.

Edward looked at me guiltily. I tried to cheer him up. "Well at least it's better than us giving someone a heart attack by running around naked." He smiled weakly.

We washed in a river we found using our heightened hearing. I tried to imagine memories of the girl we murdered and the night before away down the river along with the blood. It dawned on me that we didn't know her name. Edward had simply written _Rest In Peace _on the 'headstone'.

"No more looking back," Edward told me. "We forget this ever happened. We won't do it again."

"Promise," I said.

"Promise," he agreed.

He took my hand in his, fiddling with the finger that should have held a wedding band. "Let's go," he said. We took off running hand-in-hand.

I might have been able to wash the memories off of me in the river but the guilt was still there; guilt at having murdered, guilt at keeping such a big secret from Edward.


	31. Gifted

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**31. Gifted**

For a few weeks, we walked in peace. Just the two of us. Days and nights blurred into one as is what seemed to happen when you no longer had the ability to sleep. We walked hand in hand, taking in everything around us. The girl we killed was never far from our minds; not just because of what we had done to her but because she symbolised death – something that, in the form of the Volturi, was not far behind us.

Two weeks had passed and we were just entering another patch of woodland after travelling through a cluster of mountains passing little towns and villages, when Edward threw his arm out in front of me.

"What is it?" I asked, feeling his skin through the dirty stolen T-shirt I still wore. It had once been white but was now turning a murky grey. My human self would have been desperate to bung it in the wash but as long as it was still in one piece I found myself not really caring.

Edward took a long sniff of the air. "Can you smell that?" he asked.

I followed suit, smelling the musty coat of a squirrel in nearby tree and the dampness of the soil beneath our bare feet and…a rusty metallic smell.

"Mines," I whispered. Now we knew what to look for – or rather, smell for – we weren't as easily tricked as other Vampires might have been.

Treading carefully, Edward took a few steps forward. His stance reminded me of some of the animals we had seen on our travels; a leader checking out an area before declaring it safe for his mate and pack.

"What should we do?" I asked, unsure. The logical explanation would be to turn back and try going around the woodland but if we walked into it then maybe we could lead the Volturi tracker to us and…BOOM!

The image of the Volturi being blown to smithereens was something I thought of quite a lot now. It was my number one daydream. I'd never told Edward though, fearing he might think I was becoming too crazy and not keeping my mind on the running.

Edward's head lifted up as he looked towards our right. I looked too, hearing the sounds the same time as he did. There was movement in the forest. Something was making its way towards us.

We sniffed the air again. "Human," I muttered though I wasn't completely sure.

"More than human," Edward disagreed. We started walking to the right of the forest, our eyes scanning the trees as we searched for the wood's other visitors.

"Should we warn them about the mines?" I asked.

"I think they already know," Edward replied, never taking his eyes of the trees.

Soon after, the sounds changed direction. They no longer came from the vast woodland to our left but from up ahead of us as though they had just exited the trees. Seconds later, we could see shapes in the distance.

"You've got to be kidding me!" I cried, recognizing them. Edward broke out into a run straight towards them. I followed a second later, unable to believe just how small this land really was.

"Irina," Edward greeted the tall blonde Vampire when I caught up to them. Irina didn't seem surprised to see us, merely impressed. She must have sensed us just as we sensed her.

Nikki and Kellan were with her too, both of them suited and booted in their dark uniforms. I nodded at them both and they nodded back, their arms full of tools which they were in the middle of packing into large rucksacks.

"Just finished for the day then?" Edward asked, nodding at the two humans. "Bella and I smelt the mines before we even passed a single tree. I'm sorry to say your work is getting a bit shoddy." He smiled to show he was being friendly. I wondered if he had been like this with Tanya.

Irina's lips twitched. "We do our best," she replied. "Yes, the mines only work on Vampires who have never smelt them before and so do not know what to look out for but at least they work on something."

I nodded in support of her.

"So what have you been up to since we last saw you?" Irina asked. Her tone told us she was interested, her neutral face told us she couldn't care less.

Edward told her we had bumped into some old friends and that we were now planning on joining the Resistance.

"Really?" Irina sounded surprised as though she'd have thought it would have taken us a lot longer to decide such a thing. I realised that, to somebody as old as her, a few weeks would seem like seconds.

Nikki and Kellan watched us warily as they shrugged the heavy rucksacks onto their backs. I wondered why Irina didn't volunteer to carry anything.

"We're still getting our bearings," Edward went on to explain. "We're still trying to figure out a way to help the cause but not lead the Volturi to everybody's doorsteps."

"Hmm," Irina said thoughtfully. "You being wanted by the Volturi is a bit of a problem." She didn't make it sound like a bit of a problem though. It sounded to me as though she was planning something. I looked at Edward but he didn't seem to be frowning at anything that was going through her mind.

"Actually, we're glad to have bumped into you," Edward said. "Bella and I were wondering if you could tell her what her Gift is."

"Her Gift?" Irina repeated, mildly surprised. I remembered Edward telling me I was Gifted as we watched the sun set over the mountains. So much had happened since then that it felt odd him bringing it up. We had more important things to worry about.

Irina glanced at Nikki and Kellan who were both watching us with shrewd eyes. "Get back to the Jeep," she ordered them, just like last time. We watched them reluctantly leave, Edward frowning at their retreating backs as they walked further away from the forest. The black Jeep which we had failed to notice before was nestled in the shade of a large mountain a good distance away. Neither human seemed to bother at the walk though.

"We think Bella is Gifted," Edward went on. I looked at him pointedly. "Well, _I _think she's Gifted," he corrected himself. "She's the only mind I cannot read."

Irina didn't seem surprised when Edward told her his Gift. "I thought there was something about you," she told him, narrowing her golden eyes. "When you've been around as long as I have, you tend to pick up on the little…extras that people have about them."

Edward gave her a shy smile. "I thought you might have," he said. "Tanya told me old Vampires have a few tricks us young ones don't."

Irina seemed to swell with pride. It seemed being called old was quite a compliment in the Vampire world.

"So, what can I do?" I asked, speaking up at last.

"I can't tell you specifically," Irina warned me. "But I can give you an idea. For example, when I looked at Edward I sensed something very intrusive about him whereas with you…" She frowned ever-so-slightly, looking more beautiful and warrior-like. "You're more on the defensive side." She smiled wryly. "You make a good pair."

Edward and I exchanged a shy glance, both of us beaming at her words.

"I'd say you have a way of protecting yourself form certain Gifts of other Vampires," she continued. She cupped my face in her large hands, her fingers extending almost passed my ears. "I wonder, in fact," she mused, "If you could defend your mind against Aro's Gift."

I pulled away from her in shock. "What would that mean?" I asked.

Edward's eyes snapped to Irina's and she smiled thinly. "I didn't mean to upset you, Edward," she said. "It was merely a passing thought."

"What was?" I demanded stubbornly. "Don't you two go keeping things from me."

"I was just thinking how valuable you could be," she said.

"Valuable?" I repeated, the word sounded strange when used to describe me. Unlucky, yes, but valuable? "How?"

"I don't know yet," Irina said thoughtfully. "But I supposed we'll find out eventually…" She turned to Edward. "Is there anything else? I really must be getting back to my humans."

I didn't like the way she said that; as though Nikki and Kellan were something that belonged to her. I hadn't sensed this from earlier when we first met her. I wondered if something had happened in the time we had been apart or if I was just being more perceptive now.

"No, that's all we wanted," Edward said as though dismissing her. "Thank you for your time, Irina."

"You're welcome," she replied, offering him a small smile. She turned and started to walk away from us, moving slowly and smoothly. "Be careful in that forest, you two!" she called back over her shoulder. "We wouldn't want to lose either of you, would we?" She turned to look at us then, and her eyes locked with mine.

(*)

We continued to travel for the next week or so, us deluding the Volturi and me deluding Edward. I was well aware of the upcoming full moon and I grew more and more nervous with each passing night. I knew there was a large chance my plan could go horribly wrong and I shuddered at the thought, not because I would die – death no longer scared me – but because I would be leaving Edward behind.

"What do reckon happens after you die?"I asked Edward the night before the full moon. We were sitting by a river embankment, the almost full moon made the dark water sparkle as it trickled downstream.

If he was surprised by me asking, he didn't show it. "I've often wondered that myself," he said. "I've never really come up with an answer though." He looked at me, his face so lit up by the moon that it was like looking at him during the day. I liked how the moon didn't play off our skin like the sun did. It was something new and different like the humans had the sun but we could claim the moon. "I don't think anyone has."

"What will happen to us?" I asked quietly. "I mean, not just us but Vampires in general. We never die so could it be possible for someone like Irina to go on living hundreds of millions of years?"

Edward gave me a small smile. "I've often thought about that too." He pursed his lips and frowned. "However, I think science will get the better of us eventually."

"What do you mean?"

"The world will eventually become unable to support human life, the sun will expand and all the remaining Vampires will be wiped out in a blazing explosion of light."

I closed my eyes, picturing it for a second and wondering whether the Volturi would still be there when the time came for that to happen.

"I think that sounds beautiful," I said to him, opening my eyes again.

"Hmm," is all he said. "A Vampire's life is a sad one isn't it? The only way we can die is by the hands of another."

"Maybe," I replied.

We both looked up at the moon for a few minutes before Edward turned to look at me. "What made you ask–" I cut him short with a kiss. "What was that for?" he asked, unable to hide his smile.

I didn't want to tell him it was because it just dawned on me that this could be our last night together so instead I said, "Do I need a reason to kiss my Mate?" His grin grew wider and he kissed me back. I felt like I could taste his smile.

We took our time that night – I made sure we did. If this was to be our last night together then I didn't want to rush. If Edward suspected anything by the way I clung to his bare back like I never wanted to let him go or by the way I slowed him down whenever our kisses became too frantic, he didn't say anything.

(*)

The next night, as the full moon loomed over us, I suggested to Edward that we should hunt.

"_Now _you want to hunt?" he asked, no doubt referring to a time a couple of weeks back when he had wanted to but I had stalled him, saying I didn't feel like it. I was stalling him because I was saving our hunting for this night.

"Yes, _now _I want to hunt," I said, stressing the word just as he had.

We spent an hour, stealthily moving through the woodland, the full moon lighting out way. When we sensed a herd of deer to our left, Edward looked at me and grinned.

"Race you," he whispered, his eyes black with excitement. He set off at full pelt whilst I legged it in the opposite direction, unable to believe my luck that the herd had been to the left whilst the route to the Werewolf Warehouse was to the right.

For a solid two hours I ran and I arrived just in time to see Peter retreating into the building.

"We didn't think you'd make it," he commented. Where before he had been cool, now he seemed frantic. We were almost at full moon. We needed to hurry.

"Sorry," I replied. "I had to get rid of Edward first."

"You didn't tell him?" Peter asked, sounding surprised despite our urgency.

"No," I said, following him inside the building. It was empty except for Lizzie who stood in the cage, naked and gripping the bars so tightly her knuckles were white. Already she had a wild look in her eyes. "I didn't think he would approve."

Peter regarded me for a second. "You know that could have been the last time you saw him," he said and I knew, right then, that he was thinking of his wife and how horribly wrong it had all gone for her.

"I know," I told him, staring him in the eye. "But as much as I love him, Edward is just one person – Vampire or not. If I do this I could save the world."

Peter stared at me for a second longer and then he beamed like a proud father. His mouth opened to say something but a cry of pain emitting from Lizzie stopped him. I watched as she fell to the floor of the cage, body contorting painfully.

"We're at full moon," Peter said swiftly. He ran over the door of the cage and I joined him. There was no time for second thoughts as he opened the door and I jumped inside. The bang and rattle behind me told me he had locked it and now I was all alone. In a cage. With a werewolf.

Lizzie let out another bloodcurdling scream. I was aware of Peter by the door, ready to let me out the minute she scratched me. I felt like my heart should be pounding in my chest and my palms sweaty with fear but I was just as dead as I had been for the past few months; my heart remained still, my palms smooth and dry. I clenched and unclenched my fists. To Peter I must have looked so calm but that was just the Vampire in me disguising my rising panic.

Slowly but not slowly enough, Lizzie's nails extended into the large talons that had given me my scars just over a year ago, her teeth grew into large pointed fangs. I ran my tongue over my own teeth in anticipation.

I'd never seen a werewolf transform before. I didn't know it was so painful. My non-beating heart went out to her and the rest of her species for just a second before the rising panic squashed any sympathy out of me.

Murky memories of Phoenix came back to me and I remembered the screams we always heard at the start of the full moon. How wrong we were to think they were the victims of the beasties and not the werewolves themselves.

Fur started to sprout itself all over Lizzie's body in ugly black matted clumps. I wanted to turn to Peter and see his reaction to all this, see what he had done to his daughter but I don't dare take my eyes off the poor girl. The worst part came last as her face contorted into the monstrous snout that put the 'wolf' in werewolf. It wasn't like a wolf's though, not really. Lizzie looked nothing like Jacob with his russet fur and wide brown eyes. Lizzie looked like a monster.

She drew to her full height on her hind legs; no longer recognizable as Lizzie anymore. Still I couldn't help thinking of her as female, as a friend. Throwing her head back she howled loud and shrill. The sound reverberated through me and I fought the urge to cover my ears. She then fixed her eyes on me, those watery yellow eyes. Looking at them, I wondered how I ever could have mistaken Edward's golden ones for _them._

The werewolf pulled back her lips, showing her long teeth and uttered a ferocious growl.

"Get ready," Peter whispered behind me, my Vampire hearing allowing me to pick up the sound over the werewolf's snarling. He sounded so calm. I wondered if he thought I was calm too.

The werewolf charged.


	32. News from Overseas

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**32. News from Overseas**

I closed my eyes in order to protect them. I stood there, frozen to the ground as I waited for the claws to cut through my marble exterior. I wondered what I was like inside now; no longer warm and red but maybe cold and silver.

The claws didn't come however. I opened one eye and then, seeing the werewolf looking at something on the other side of the cage, I opened the other. The werewolf was snarling at the something through the bars, something on the other side of the warehouse by the door. I looked over and there was Edward, staring at me in shock.

"What are you doing here?" I cried. "Get out!"

The werewolf, who had previously been stretching out her clawed arms to get to Edward, turned her nasty head to me. It didn't make sense for her to have ignored me for him, not unless the bang of the door suddenly opening had distracted her from me. Maybe it had and I had been too caught up in anticipation to hear it myself.

But now I had brought the werewolf's attention back to me. She turned her full body towards me, brought one clawed foot in front of the other. I was aware of movement behind me but didn't fully register anything until a hand grabbed my forearm and pulled me out of the cage, slamming the door shut behind me.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Edward screamed in my face as he threw me against the corrugated iron wall of the warehouse. Behind him I watched the werewolf scratching at the bars that were too close together for her to slip through, trying to reach us.

When I didn't answer, Edward slammed me even harder against the wall. So hard I felt it in my bones and it _hurt_. The wall nearly gave way behind us.

"Stop it!" I cried, shoving him off me. My Newborn strength was waning – I hadn't even had much to begin with – but I managed to push him a few steps away.

He stared down at me in shock though I wasn't sure whether it was because of what I had been trying to do or if he had just realised how he had treated me. He shook his head ever-so-slightly in disbelief.

"What was all that about?" he asked.

"You tell me," I replied, hissing in his face. He frowned, not understanding what I meant at first and then realisation dawned on him and he looked slightly ashamed.

"I was worried," he said by way of explanation. I rubbed the top of my arms and he winced as though he was the one feeling the pain. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. The werewolf howled behind him, rattled the bars of her cage. He watched her for a second, his eyes wide with…what? Disbelief? Terror?

"What were you doing in there?" he demanded.

I didn't answer because as I was looking down on the floor to avoid his gaze my eye had caught something. Behind Edward, Peter was lying motionless on the floor. The werewolf sensed him too as she rattled the bars of the cage even more.

"What the hell have you done?" I asked him in disbelief, running to Peter's side. I could still hear his heartbeat. He was simply out cold. The swelling on his forehead looked like it would bruise.

"He tried to stop me," Edward replied coldly. "He tried to stop me from saving you. You're lucky I didn't kill him."

I stared up at him, shaking my head at him just as he had done to me moments before. I wanted to scream at him but I couldn't bring myself to. Both of us were in the wrong here. It would be hypocritical and rash for me to have a go at him. Instead, I scooped Peter up in my arms and moved him next to one of the metal tables, far away from the werewolf cage.

When I was sure he would be fine until morning, I turned back to Edward who was staring at me from next to the cage as though oblivious to the screaming monster beside him.

"Outside," I told him coldly. I left without checking he was following me.

Once I was outside in the cold night air, I started running. I didn't know where I was going at first but I ran, trees and bushes whizzed by me until suddenly I was running on cliff rocks with the sea swishing loudly far below. The tide was on its way in.

At last I came to a stop, staring down at the same beach where Edward and I had washed up months ago. He caught up to me and was by my side in seconds. We could no longer hear the howls of the werewolf but still they echoed in my mind.

Edward said nothing and all I could hear for a while was the movement of the sea as it stretched towards the rocks at the base of the cliff.

"I wanted to become a werewolf," I said eventually. He didn't react. Neither of us was looking at the other. Both of us stared over the cliff edge at the dark water. "I wanted to become a werewolf because Peter said there was a chance I could be the strongest werewolf ever and I could bring down the Volturi."

I let that sink in. When he realised I wasn't going to say anything else, I heard him swallow and speak.

"It wouldn't have worked," he told me, his voice a lot calmer than I had been expecting.

"How would you know?" I demanded. "Have you ever tried it?" The words were out of my mouth before I'd even considered them. Edward was a lot older than me, maybe he had seen things like this. Maybe I was an idiot not coming to him about it before I ran off and almost got myself killed.

"No," he told me. His words were surprising reassurance until he continued, "But I know the science of it well enough. We don't have a blood stream for the parasite to be pumped through. You would have just been torn to shreds."

"What if Peter had gotten me out in time?" I asked. "Then I would have been merely scratched. What then?"

"You would have healed with the parasite inside you," Edward explained calmly. "The venom in your body would have knitted your skin back together and you would have been in agony for the rest of eternity or at least until someone had the decency to end your life."

I stared at him. He looked back at me.

"It's the same if a werewolf is turned into a Vampire, the venom just burns them. But at least they can die from it."

I couldn't think of anything to say so I just stared back out at the horizon. It was hard to distinguish between the sea and the sky. It was all a muddled grey – just like my thoughts.

"You should have come to me first," he continued when I really wanted him to stop. "I could have helped you and explained everything to you." He paused. "We're supposed to be Mates, we're supposed to share and discuss things."

"I'm sorry," was all I could say. There was nothing else to say; I was the one in the wrong.

"Why would you want to destroy the Volturi anyway?" he asked. "That would bring nothing but trouble. There's no way to get to them. Don't you think people have tried before?"

"Well, I want to try," I told him, getting angry again. "I don't just want to sit around and wait for someone to do the work for me. I want to join in. I want to be a part of it. I don't want to sit around and wait to be rescued."

We were silent again for a few minutes. I could almost hear him turning over everything I'd said inside his mind.

"Peter must have thought it would work," I said to him. "That's why he didn't want you to rescue me."

"I know," Edward said. "I read his mind." He looked at me sideways. "But I couldn't risk losing you."

"You're risking losing me now," I said. "We're on the run from the most powerful beings in the world." I laughed humourlessly. "We're never going to be able to live properly until the Volturi are destroyed." I take in our surroundings. "And this country is too small. They're going to find us sooner or later."

Edward nodded firmly but not like he was agreeing with me. It was more like he'd come to a decision he'd been pondering on for a while.

"Right," he said. "We're getting out of here."

"What?" I asked though there was no way I could ever not hear him the first time with my Vampire hearing, even with the ocean and the wind that had just picked up, whistling through the cliffs and blowing my hair over my face.

"We're leaving," he said, stating the words more slowly. "I'm taking you to the Arctic where we can stay until this whole Resistance thing blows over."

I took a step back from him, squared my shoulders and looked him in the eye. "You're not taking me anywhere." He opened his mouth as though about to protest but I held my hand up to stop him before he could start. "I'm not running away from this. I'm going to see it through until the end."

"The end of what?" he asked, his eyes hard. "The end of the Volturi or the end of your life?"

I turned away from him, not in the mood to argue. Instead I focused my gaze out to sea where I could easily make out the shape of a boat that wasn't there before.

"There's somebody here," I said.

Edward looked out too though his face was set in a way that I knew meant he wasn't done arguing with me yet. Nevertheless, both of us were distracted for the moment. We watched as the boat made its steady way towards the cliff edge. The sea had almost come in and there was just a bit of sand left at the bottom for the people to dock.

I sniffed the air, taking in salt and sand and…

"That's not human," I said to Edward, my voice betraying my worry.

"No," Edward agreed. "It's shifter."

My heart sank at the mention of the shape-shifters; a word that automatically reminded me of my best friend. I stared down at the little boat. There was movement inside. I could hear footsteps as they prepared to get out of the boat which was half on the sand and half in the sea.

"They might know something about Jacob," I offered.

"Not all shifters are linked," Edward explained. "They travel in groups. Their minds are only linked to that specific group."

"Their minds?" I asked.

Edward smiled. "It seems Jacob didn't tell you as much about the shifters as the monkey shifters told me." It would have sounded like he was gloating had he not gone on to explain, "When shifters take their shape they can read each other's minds."

"Wow," I said. "Have you ever thought you could be a shape-shifter?" I'd meant it as a joke but he seemed to take me seriously.

"Tanya once said I might have had some shifter blood in me from a distant relative."

I stared at him, unsure whether or not he was joking. Before I could ask though, he pointed down to the small strip of beach below us. "It's them!" he told me confidently. I looked where he was pointing and my hands flew to my face in shock.

Emerging from the boat was three of the wolf shifters from La Push. I recognized Sam and Leah but the third only looked vaguely familiar. For a brief second I allowed myself to think of him as Jacob – that somehow the shifters had done what the Vampires couldn't and had rescued him – and then I came crashing back to Earth, bitterly regretting my brief spite of hopefulness.

Edward and I ran at Vampire speed to the bottom of the cliffs where we met them in seconds. At first they didn't recognize me in the dark.

"Who are you?" Sam demanded, his tone as deep with authority as I remembered.

"It's Bella," I told them, surprised at how choked with emotion I felt. "What are you doing here?"

Sam look relieved. Behind him Leah looked angry and the other shifter looked…sad?

"Alice Whitlock told us we'd find you here," Sam explained. "I didn't expect us to meet up so soon though."

"Alice?" Edward said from behind me. "You've seen Alice?" He stepped forward and the shifters saw him for the first time. They regarded him warily.

"Are you Edward – Bella's Mate?" Sam asked. Edward nodded. "Alice came back to La Push a couple of weeks ago with news that we're to pass on to you."

"She went back to La Push?" Edward repeated, shaking his head. "Why would she take such a risk?" He seemed to be talking to himself. I, on the other hand, wasn't too bothered about Alice taking such a risk. Whatever it was, it must have been important for her to send the shifters over here in a tacky boat.

"What's the news?" I demanded, stepping forward, putting myself in front of Edward.

There was no awkward exchange of glances, no dramatic pause. Instead, Sam looked me straight in the eyes and told me the news I realised I had been expecting all along but had never dared to accept

"Jacob and Tanya have been executed."

I fell to my knees. A part of my brain was telling me Vampires aren't supposed to do such a clumsy thing but, then again, they're also not meant to feel sick to their stomach either. The news of losing a friend broke through the very things that made me a Vampire and I found myself on the floor in a quivering retching mess. Edward crouched beside me, his hand on my back was so still compared to my shaking body it didn't feel right.

"How do you know for sure?" Edward asked, his voice too calm.

"Alice saw it."

"She can only see humans and Vampires."

"She saw Aro announce the sentence, and she saw Tanya being put to death. And we can't get in contact with Jacob anymore."

"How do you mean?"

I was aware of the change of voice as Leah starting speaking but I couldn't bring myself to look up. "Jacob was phasing frequently whilst he was in their captivity. He was using it to keep us up-to-date with how he was doing. We haven't heard from him since that Alice told us her predictions."

I looked up then. Leah's voice had changed; it was no longer hard and scornful as it had been when I first met her. Instead it was softer, more mature. Maybe it was losing Jacob that changed her; maybe for some, losing someone made you stronger. I don't think I'm that kind of person.

"Did Alice mention anything else?" Edward asked.

"Only to wish you the best," Sam replied.

"The best with what?" I asked, finally finding my voice.

"She didn't say."

"Was there any need to come all this way to tell us all this?" Edward asked.

"Oh, we're here to stay," the other shifter said, suddenly speaking up. All of us looked at him as he came forward. "Alice told us there are people here fighting against the Volturi. We've come to join them."

I stared at them and then looked back at Edward. "Do you really want to go to the Arctic now?"

He looked back at me and I could see the hurt in his eyes, the loss he felt over Tanya's death. He may have not met Jacob but he knew what I was going through because of her.

"We have to stay," I told him confidently. I rose to my feet, pulling him up with me. My voice was more decisive than it had ever been. "We have to stay and stop the Volturi no matter what if not for the rest of the world than for Tanya and Jacob."

Edward nodded. "Come with me," he said to the group. "There's a cottage nearby where you can rest." The shifters nodded looking grateful. The boat which they had travelled in looked comfortable enough for overseas journeys but I doubted they would prefer to stay in it on land.

The third shifter introduced himself as Embry and we all made our way up to the top of the cliffs where Edward shoved open Lizzie's cottage door and we all went in, knowing the werewolf wouldn't be needing it tonight.

Inside we found food for the shifters and we told them everything that had happened since we'd arrived here a couple of months earlier. They listened intently before filling us in on what was going on back home. Leah told me blatantly that Charlie was a wreck without me but at least he was still alive.

"You could have saved him a lot of trouble by just stopping by and explaining everything to him," she told me, slightly accusingly.

"And put his life in danger just to give him a peace of mind?" I asked.

Leah pulled a face. "There are worse things out there than death you know."

I didn't reply to that, her comment had reminded us of those we had lost and I felt a stabbing pain in my chest similar to the one I got when parted from Edward; this deep despair that seemed to travel through my body and result in physical as well as mental pain.

"We're going to get those bastards," Leah said, her words a reassurance to everybody in the room.


	33. The Beginning of the End

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**33. The Beginning of the End**

"Tell me about Tanya," I said to Edward.

It was midnight, the full moon loomed over us as we sat on the rocks outside Lizzie's cottage just as we had done months before. We could hear the gentle snoring of the shifters inside and the ocean moving gently against the rocks below. The shifters' boat bobbed with the movement having been tied with a rope to a rock to keep it there.

"Only if you tell me about Jacob," he replied. I nodded. Taking a deep unneeded breath, Edward began.

"Tanya was…Tanya, I suppose. There was nobody else like her in the entire world. She came from thousands of years ago and she had seen so much…" He trailed off, smiling at me. "Maybe, if we survive long enough, I will be able to tell you everything she had told me."

"I'd like that," I said, giving him a small smile back.

"One of my best memories I have with her is when we swam all the way down to the bottom of the sea."

I stared at him. "Like all the way?" I repeated.

Edward's smile grew wider. "It's not that uncommon for Vampires to swim down there you know."

"What's it like?" I asked, unable to imagine it.

"Black," was his reply. "When you get so far down, there is no light and so even Vampire eyes cannot see anything. It's just…blackness and there's no smell either because you can't breathe and the water dampens your hearing so all you can do is feel the other person's hand in yours. It's the only place in the world where a Vampire can be at peace."

I closed my eyes, trying hard to picture it but I was still aware of the ocean and the wind rustling the leaves of the trees behind me. It wasn't the same. Beside me, I heard Edward's voice.

"We'll go someday," he said. "When all this has died down. Even if it means leading the Volturi to the depths of the ocean."

I smiled. "I'd like that."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I don't know what he was picturing but I was imagining the two of us at the bottom of the sea, floating in blackness, only aware of each other and nothing else.

"What was Jacob like?" he asked suddenly and I felt a pang at him using the past tense.

"Funny," I replied. "Immature," I added, remembering his snorting over the word 'Mating'. My smile faded. "At least, that's how he was before he killed the werewolf. For all I know that could have matured him. He could have been a completely different person to who I knew when they held him in captivity." For a moment, I had a feeling akin to nausea. "What do you reckon they did to them whilst they were there?"

"Nothing," Edward said, quick to reassure me. "They would have simply kept them locked up. Jacob would have been fed and Tanya given blood – human blood probably." His face was grim. "They like to keep their prisoners alive and conscious for when they execute them."

"What did they do to them, Edward?" I asked. It was a question I had been pondering on but was too afraid to ask, especially in front of the shifters. Nobody knew how the Volturi executed 'criminals'. Over the years it had become a phrase in itself and, though we didn't know how they were executed, it was no different to saying 'they had been hanged' or 'they had been shot'.

"There's no other way to kill Vampires but by werewolves or bombs," Edward replied. "So Tanya would have no doubt been fed to one of their werewolves during the nearest full moon."

I looked up at the full orb hovering above us in the sky. At that moment it looked like a menacing eye, watching us and taunting us over our losses.

"It could be tonight," I told him. "If Alice foresaw it then tonight could be the night."

"More or less," Edward replied, thinking of the time difference between the UK and Italy.

"What about Jacob?" I asked. Edward didn't answer but looked down at the sea below us. "Tell me," I said, forcing the words out. I didn't really want to know but I felt like I should. It was my fault Jacob died – was executed – and so I deserved to know how he suffered.

"For non-Vampire prisoners, the Volturi tend to be a bit more creative," he said sadly. His words knocked me sick – mentally not physically of course. "Given Jacob's charge…"

"He would be executed by werewolf too," I finished for him. Edward nodded, unable to look me in the eyes. I closed mine, sighed sadly.

Right then, there was nothing more I wanted than to curl up on those rocks at the top of that cliff and stay there for all eternity. Maybe I would eventually die if I didn't drink blood – no Vampire had ever tried that before. Maybe I would wither away and suffer just as much as Jacob and Tanya had.

"We can't dwell on the past," Edward reminded me.

"You're right," I told him, opening my eyes again. "We have to look ahead, think what we're going to do."

Edward nodded in agreement. I leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around me. We stayed like that, watching the dark sea bounce up and down against the horizon until the sun rose, brightening everything around us.

(*)

Early in the morning, after the sun had come up but before the shifters had awoke, we heard movement in the bushes behind us. Turning, we saw Lizzie emerge dressed in baggy clothes and with dark circles around her eyes. She looked surprised when she saw us.

"Oh God," she cried, throwing her hands to her mouth. "Dad told me about what happened last night."

I stared at her and for a millisecond I couldn't remember what she was talking about. So much had happened since then. Back then Jacob and Tanya had still been alive to me.

"It doesn't matter," Edward surprised me by saying. "We're over it now."

Lizzie's eyes flitted from one to the other, she looked over Edward's arm which was still round my shoulder.

"Something's happened hasn't it?" she said, sitting down in front of us and crossing her legs. Her green eyes stared at us, demanding an answer with their intensity.

I sighed and proceeded to tell her fill her in on last night's events and the news they brought. Lizzie listened intently, her facial expression remained serious and interested. She didn't even flinch when I told her about our friends sleeping in her cottage.

"Anyone who wants to join the Resistance is a friend of mine," she said by way of explanation as she got to her feet. "Come inside. We've got things to discuss."

Edward and I followed her inside and stood by the door as we watched her pull food out of the refrigerator and cupboards. Her shirt rode up slightly as she reached up and I saw her Killer Scar, deep and red, extending from her lower back round to her front. I looked away when she turned back to us.

"I can't remember how long you've been Vamped up," she said. "But can either of you remember how to cook?"

Edward looked at her blankly but my mind was a whir of memories. I looked at the pile of food she had assembled; the carton of eggs brought back the sizzling sound they made when I made them whilst Charlie watched the baseball game in the other room. If I thought really hard I could still remember their smell and Charlie's cheers and angry shouts. The packet of bacon reminded me when Jacob and Billy came over that one time and Jacob and I experimented with making stupidly huge sandwiches. The loaf of bread brought back memories of shopping at the Thriftway in Forks, that warm smell that always seemed to lift my mood no matter how horrible the day had been.

"I think I do," I said, not even noticing I was talking.

"Great!" Lizzie beamed. "Do you mind if you fix something up whilst I take a shower. I don't want to look like a scruff when I meet these friends of yours." She stopped and thought for a moment. "Even if they are sleeping in my room." She headed for the other door – the bathroom – but turned at the last minute and looked me in the eyes. "I'm sorry for your loss," she said. Her eyes flitted to Edward. "Both of you."

I nodded silently. "So are we," Edward said.

For the next half hour, I cooked for the first time in months. I was surprised to find how easy it all came back to me and I actually found myself enjoying it. Edward watched from the opposite wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked fascinated.

"What's that you're humming?" he said suddenly. His voice startled me – I hadn't even realised I had been humming. I was completely lost in the motions of frying and toasting. To me, the only sounds had been the gentle snores of the shifters and the running of the shower in the other rooms.

"Nothing," I replied. "It's just a habit I had when I was human. Charlie used to tease me for it all the time. I didn't even know I was doing it!"

He smirked and I went back to what I was doing.

"I would have liked this," he said suddenly from behind me. "If we were both human, me coming home from work and you fixing me something to eat."

I laughed. "Times have changed a bit since you were human," I said to him. "The Vampires no longer see women as delicate bearers of their future food sources. We're allowed to work now too you know."

"What would you have done then?" he asked, "If you'd stayed human?"

I shrugged, flipped an egg onto one of the four waiting plates. "I don't know," I admitted. "Probably some mundane work – I wouldn't have gotten into college. I wouldn't have minded working in the Thriftway, I suppose. They seemed like a nice group of people whenever I called."

"Would you rather that would have happened?" he asked. "Do you sometimes wish you'd never met me and had gotten on with your human life as normal?"

I kept cooking as I thought his question through. "I suppose if you're asking me would I go back in time then no. As selfish as it sounds, I wouldn't want to lose you. However, if you're simply asking would I prefer Alice to have never asked me to deliver that basket then…I don't know." I transferred the bacon onto the plates, the smell reminded me so much of when Charlie and I used to cook breakfast on Sunday mornings. "I suppose you don't miss what you never had."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, maybe if Alice hadn't asked me to deliver your basket I would have bumped into a really good-looking guy on the way home and we would have lived happily ever after." Edward growled, making me smile. "But I never met him – I never had him – so I don't miss him."

The door of the bedroom opened then and a sleepy Embry poked his head round the frame. His eyes lit up when he saw the plates of food. "Oh, man, I'm starved!" he announced, his determined and serious façade from the previous night now gone.

I smiled. "Go and get the others up before it gets cold."

Lizzie joined us too at that moment and it felt nice as I handed them their plates to be cooking for someone again. However, it only reminded me more of how much I missed Charlie. I decided to try and get in touch with him soon but first I'd need to figure out a way to do it that wouldn't put him in any danger.

Lizzie introduced herself to the shifters as they ate; her and Sam at the table, the others on the floor leaning against the wall. The shifters seemed both fascinated and wary of her. I assumed the only werewolf they had heard of had been the one Jacob had been executed for killing.

After the introductions, Lizzie moved on to more important things. I joined Edward against the wall and watched her tell them everything about the Resistance and how its goal was to bring down the Volturi in whatever way possible.

"So you think werewolves are the way to do it?" Sam said, seeming to take control and speak for his group. The food had long since gone, all three had wolfed it down whilst Lizzie had been talking. I found myself worrying if I'd made enough. It had been a long time since I'd eaten food myself. However, they seemed satisfied.

Lizzie nodded. "And, like I said, some think bombs."

"There are others too," I said, casting a side glance at Edward. "The Vampire Guardians want to take down the Volturi because of the unfairness with which they treat Vampires. They think if they had enough Vampires together they could overthrow them."

But Lizzie was shaking her head before I'd even finished speaking.

"No way are Vampires going to get involved with this," she said. "No, if the Volturi do fall it will be at the hands of a werewolf or bomb."

"Why haven't they just bombed the place yet?" Leah asked, sounding frustrated. "How hard can it be to just fly over and drop the thing?"

"Name me one human who can afford to charter an entire plane," Lizzie said. "And besides, there is an even greater problem."

"What?"

"Nobody knows exactly where the Volturi are." I realised, with some shock, that this was true. Yes, we know they resided in Italy – in Volterra to be precise – but where exactly?

"We could bomb the whole place," Leah sniffed.

"Don't be ridiculous," Embry put in giving her a punch on the shoulder. It seemed playful but his words were serious. "That would send the world into an even worse state. Vampires would call humans ruthless for causing so much collateral damage and they would keep control of them without the Volturi." Everybody stared at him in surprise. "I'm not just a pretty face you know." He winked and for a second I saw the playful side of Embry – a side that reminded me so much of Jacob. I hoped I'd get to see that side of him again when this was all over – however it ended.

"So, do you think you're ready now you know what you're letting yourselves in for?" Lizzie asked, brushing Embry's joking aside. "If the Volturi catch wind that you're working against them…" She shook her head.

"We understand the risks," Sam replied gravely. "But we feel the situation has gone too far to be ignored. They killed one of our own."

"If you're found out they'd go beyond that," Lizzie warned him.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Shape-shifters are supposed to be neutral," Lizzie explained. "The Volturi leave them be so long as they don't interfere with any goings-on in the world. If they found out a certain group of shifters were purposefully going against them they would destroy that group and work to put laws onto the entire shifter population."

"They'd loose their freedom," I realised. I hadn't really thought of that.

I'd completely forgotten about shape-shifters being free. They couldn't Qualify or become werewolves since they weren't human. All Vampires and werewolves had been human some time or another, but shifters…They were something else entirely. They were born as they are. Where the werewolves and Vampires could be explained by science in the form of parasites and venom, shape-shifters were…simply magic.

But they were also a sign of a better future. Maybe, if we worked hard enough and luck was on our side, we would one day achieve that freedom for everybody – not just the humans but the Vampires. In a second, I had it all worked out. Vampires would feed off animals, werewolves would lock themselves up when the full moon came but live a normal life every other day of the month, humans would be free to live just like the shape-shifters and there would be no world domination. Maybe each country could have a leader. I remembered reading about that once being the case in a text book a long time ago but it was hard to imagine independent countries when the Volturi had ruled for so long.

I was so lost in my fantasy that I didn't hear whatever Edward heard which made him put a hand on my arm and look to the door.

"What is it?" Lizzie asked, dropping her voice to a whisper.

Edward immediately held his hand up for silence. Now that I was focused I heard it to. Somebody was moving outside the cottage. They were quiet, very quiet, and had no smell of blood around them. It was a Vampire and I didn't recognize the scent. We were as still as statues – even the others whose pulses had picked up due to the fear and anticipation that was now thick in the warm room.

Edward looked at me. "There's more." He mouthed the words, tapping the side of his head to tell me he could hear their minds.

"Who are they?" I mouthed back. I touched his arm, feeling how tense his muscles were beneath the skin. It was like he was preparing himself to dive. I'd seen him like this before; it was his hunter's crouch. I watched him concentrate for a fraction of a second as he scanned through their minds.

There was no change to his stance as he came to his conclusion but I knew something was up by the way his eyes – still looking at me – widened ever so slightly. The muscles beneath my fingertips tensed even more.

"The Volturi," he mouthed but not completely. A whisper escaped his lips and that was more than enough for the Vampires outside to realise they had been sussed. The front wall of the cottage came crashing down.


	34. Demetri

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**34. Demetri**

All six of us stared in shock as the dust settled and the Volturi came into view. They were terrifying at first, just black smudges in a brown haze. But eventually they became clearer. There were three in total, all shrouded in black cloaks, the hoods pulled over the tops of their faces.

We'd been careless, so careless to let them catch up with us like this. I looked to Edward for any sign of what we should do next but he didn't even look at me. Instead, he tightened an arm around my waist and glared at the three intruders, his jaw set.

"Well, this is a nice surprise," the middle one said, throwing his hood back. His well-fed ruby red eyes glared at me in the same manner Edward was glaring at him. "I must admit, we all thought you'd be a lot harder to track down than this." He stepped over the threshold of the cottage, his boots crunched on the debris he had made. "You've eluded the Volturi for nearly a century, Edward Masen," he continued casually, as though he was conducting a conversation with an old friend. "The girl must have slowed you down. What a pity."

The Vampire moved further towards us and all six of us drew further back though it was hard. We'd already fled to the back of the room after the wall had come crashing down, trying to escape the flying debris. Now we were cornered. The hut creaked alarmingly as though mourning its missing wall.

Beside me, I could almost feel the anger rolling off the shifters and the werewolf.

"I'm sorry, how rude of me," the Vampire said, stopping suddenly with his hand over his chest as though in shock. "I haven't properly introduced myself yet. I'm Demetri, the expert tracker of the Volturi and these…" He indicated to the two Vampires behind him who hadn't moved – it was like they were nothing but statues. "Are my assistants, if you like." He didn't bother naming them. I wondered how they felt about that; being part of the most powerful Vampire group in the world yet not being important enough to be named.

"Alright, you got us," Edward suddenly spoke up. I could hear the hopelessness in his voice though he tried not to show it. Was this really it? Three Vampires would be the end of us? "Let the others go and we'll come quietly."

Demetri cocked his head to the side, a menacing sneer painted on his lips. "You'll come quietly anyway," he hissed. "But first, let's have some fun with your friends." He pulled his lips back over his teeth. His 'assistants' took a step forward – both at the same time.

"You can't drink from us," Lizzie told him plainly. I looked over at her to see her hands clenched into fists – they were still shaking though. "It's against the law. I'm a werewolf and these are shifters."

"A werewolf?" Demetri's eyes lit up with delight. "You could come too you know," he said, his voice no longer cold and menacing but warm and inviting. "You'd be treated honourably back in Italy. We worship your kind unlike the scum here." He spat in our direction. I flinched, Edward didn't move.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Lizzie told him coldly. She even stepped forward to glare at him in the eyes. As she did I watched her hand gently graze the back of Leah's wrist.

And then all Hell broke loose.

All at once the three shifters threw themselves at Demetri, exploding into their wolf Shapes as they did so. Demetri ducked the first two – it was hard to distinguish which wolf was whom – and used his arm to shove away the third who fell against the wall of the hut with a whimper. The hut groaned again.

The two wolves that Demetri had ducked were now attacking his assistants. The large black one I assumed was Sam pinned one of them down and ripped his head off without so much as a thought. The grey one that I thought was Leah struggled with the other at first. They spent a lot of time sweeping and dodging as they got further and further away from the hut. The third wolf – Embry – got shakily to his feet and growled at Demetri.

Demetri wasn't interested though. Instead, he stared at the ruins of one of his assistants and, with an angry shout, took his frustration out on Lizzie whom he threw against the wall without even looking at her.

Her body hit the wood hard and, as she fell to the floor, I could smell blood. Venom rushed to my mouth as I stared down at her lifeless form.

"Bella, no," Edward said gruffly, pulling me closer to him. "She's your friend."

I blinked, coming back down to Earth. "Lizzie?" I whispered. I searched for any sign of life from her broken body but there was none. I couldn't see any blood either.

"She's bleeding internally," Edward said, almost choking. "We can't help her now."

Demetri watched our exchange of words with a murderous glare. "Who the hell do you think you two are?" he hissed, spitting at our feet yet again. "Free to walk around as you wish, disobeying Volturi laws."

Edward's eyes flashed as he seemed to read Demetri's thoughts. Outside Sam and Leah were attacking the third Vampire. Embry was beside us, watching Demetri intently. I wondered what had held him back but then noticed how the wolf's eyes flitted from Edward to the Volturi Vampire. He was waiting for a signal. For some reason, Edward seemed to want to talk with Demetri.

"Killing us out of jealousy will be of no use to you," Edward told him, calmly and confidently. "The Volturi won't be best pleased with you."

"They won't execute me for destroying you," Demetri hissed. "I'll be saving them a job."

"But you know how Aro is," Edward hurried on as Demetri took a step towards us. "He likes to execute criminals himself. He'll be angry at you for doing his job – the others will be too. They'll punish you, Demetri."

The Vampire laughed without humour. "Punish me?" he hissed. "What could they possibly do to punish me?"

"Delay your release."

Edward's words seemed to get through to him as the tracker halted and stared at him in wonder. "They told me about your Gift," he said. "I didn't think it was so powerful."

"I can only hear what you're thinking of at this moment but your release date is never far from your mind is it?" Edward stared Demetri down until the other Vampire eventually looked away. Edward seemed to sense a gap in his defence and went on, "They told you another century and you'll be free but I bet that's what they said last century didn't they?" Demetri didn't answer. "They won't let you go, Demetri. You're the most talented tracker on the planet and they're going to keep you so long as there are Vampires out there that they want. And you know how greedy the Volturi are; they're always wanting someone for something."

Demetri narrowed his eyes and looked at Edward again. "What is your point?"

"Help us and we'll help you." I stiffened at Edward's words – why would we help him? But Edward's hold around my waist simply tightened in a way that told me not to say anything. I kept my mouth shut though in my thoughts I was screaming at Edward, demanding to know what he was up to. It's a shame he couldn't read my mind.

Demetri's eyes seemed to widen even further. "How?" he demanded.

"Let us help Lizzie," Edward replied. "And we can work with you to bring down the Volturi."

Demetri looked taken aback and for a few seconds he seemed to be thinking the offer over. Outside, the growls and whimpers of the wolves were louder – they were clearly winning. As if sensing this, Demetri looked behind him and then back at us.

"If we succeed," he said. "I want credit. I want to be known as the main guy who took the Volturi down."

"Credit means nothing to us," Edward assured him. The seconds dragged by until eventually the now ex-Volturi tracker nodded in agreement. Edward all but threw me aside in his hurry to get to Lizzie. I joined him seconds later, watched him gently check her over. Behind me, Embry watched Demetri warily and outside the wolves had finally been victorious in their fight with Demetri's other assistant.

"Is she okay?" I asked Edward as he checked her pulse. Edward looked at me and suddenly I was aware of the silence around us. There was no pulse to check. "Oh God no!" I cried, covering my mouth with my hands to dull my mournful cries. "Please, Edward, no!"

"I can't do anything for her," he admitted, his eyes looked slightly glazed as though he should be crying. "She mustn't have suffered much at least."

I locked eyes with Demetri who was watching us from the centre of the room, wooden debris scattered around him – he'd destroyed Lizzie just as he had destroyed her home.

I was about to leap at him, to rip his head off with my bare hands but Edward, seeming to sense my intention, grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"We can't ruin this now, Bella," he told me so quietly and quick that even I struggled to hear him. "As much as I hate him for what he did to Lizzie, we can't touch him. He could help us take down the Volturi. Don't you want that? For Jacob?"

I snatched my wrist back from him. "Don't make me choose between him and her," I hissed but nevertheless I left Demetri alone. Embry gave a soft whine which I assumed was for Lizzie.

Poor Lizzie who had been nothing but be helpful to us over the past couple of months.

Seeming to hear something in their minds, Edward got to his feet and hurried outside to Leah and Sam.

"Is she really gone?" Embry's voice asked from behind me. I turned to find him back in his human form. I was so upset I didn't even care that he was naked.

I nodded, unable to bring myself to look at Lizzie's body again. I couldn't look at Demetri either though I was aware of him watching my every move. Hearing Edward return with Leah and Sam after explaining everything to them outside, I straightened up.

"Right," I said, feeling the need to take charge. "What are we going to do now?"

"We're going to bury Lizzie," Embry replied making me feel a little guilty that I hadn't even thought to consider that.

Edward wanted Demetri to dig the grave but I didn't let him. I didn't want that Vampire to be any part of Lizzie's burial service. Instead, I dug the grave with a little help from Edward.

"What will we tell her father?" I asked Edward.

"That she died fighting for the Resistance," he replied simply. We made her a gravestone from a large rock we found on one of the cliffs. It seemed fitting for her to be laid to rest here, surrounded by the sound of the ocean and the smell of salt. We made sure her grave was noticeable should Peter want to come back here and bury her differently. I doubted it; proper funerals were expensive for the likes of the unQualified.

We never saw Peter again anyway.

Just as we were finishing up, Irina appeared out of the trees to join us.

"I'd thought I'd find you here," she said, taking in the scene before her. Her eyes roamed over Demetri for a second longer than the rest of us before she turned back to me. "I've been meaning to have a word with you."

"If you don't mind," I said to her, stepping forward, my hand still linked in Edward's. "I've just lost three friends in a matter of twenty-four hours. I'd rather not talk to you right now."

"Losing people is something you will have to get used to if you're going to live forever," Irina replied stiffly, her golden eyes seemed to burn into me. "You don't seem the sort to be cut out for it if this is your attitude."

Edward growled lowly at her but I ignored him.

"What do you want then?" I demanded but she'd already turned her attention to Demetri.

"A pleasure to see you again," she said to him, smiling thinly.

Demetri seemed to duck his head as though embarrassed. The shifters, Edward and I looked at her in surprise. She only smiled at us too, saying rather cryptically, "Demetri and I knew each other years ago."

"I see your tracking skill hasn't wavered," Demetri said to her. She cocked an eyebrow at him, seeming unimpressed for some reason. "I've no idea how you talked him round," she said. "But keep an eye on him. He's not to be trusted." I wasn't sure if she was being serious or if it was her form of playful teasing.

"Now, Bella," she said, turning back to me. "Shall we go some place quieter where can speak in private?"

"No," Edward replied.

I turned back to him, cupped his face in my hands. "Don't go making decisions for me," I said. "Remember how that turned out?" He looked slightly ashamed of himself and dropped his gaze when I let go of his face. "I won't be long," I promised before seeming to cross the sort of divide between her and us. "Lead the way," I told her.

She smiled down at me; a smile which could be taken as both cruel and friendly. "Follow me," she whispered and took off at Vampire speed. It was easy to keep up with her, especially as I was used to running alongside Edward.

After we'd run a few miles in a matter of minutes, Irina came to a sudden stop. I stopped too and took her in, noticing for the first time how she had a satchel over her shoulder. I'd never seen Irina carry anything before, normally she left it to her humans.

"I'm so glad the Volturi found you, Bella," she said. "This has all worked out perfectly."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

She smiled. "I've figured out how you can help bring the Volturi down," she said and she reached into her satchel.

(*)

An hour later I returned to Edward, feeling heavy with Irina's plans. I did just as she had asked me to do; I told them she had returned to the other Hell Raisers to carry on with their work. And then I asked Demetri to take me to the Volturi.

"What?" he and Edward cried at the same time. It was almost comical.

"Irina gave me an idea," I said casually. "If we talked Demetri round then maybe we can talk the others round."

"Don't be stupid," Edward said, practically seething. "They'll kill you before you can get a word out."

"Not if I tell them about my Gift," I explained. "When Aro finds out he can't read me like he can everybody else than I might prove valuable to them."

"We don't know for sure that you're immune to Aro's Gift," Edward reminded me.

"No, we don't," I admitted – that was the one major flaw in the plan. "But it's worth a risk. Irina thinks they'll keep me there and I can work my way up. I can take the Volturi down from the _inside_."

Demetri narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "I think you're overestimating your importance."

"I couldn't care less about what you think," I hissed, spitting at him just as he had done to us earlier.

"What do we do?" Sam asked suddenly, reminding me of the shifters' presence. "We want to help too."

"Join the Resistance," I told them. "I'm sure the Hell Raisers are always looking for new recruits. I don't know whether or not the Lycanthropes will let you in – maybe if you mention Lizzie…" A pang of remorse hit me when I said her name and I had to collect myself for a moment before continuing, "You work on the outside and I'll work on the inside. That way we can't fail." I looked at Demetri. "We'll get you your freedom," I told him bitterly, "Along with everybody else's."

"What about me?" Edward asked in a small voice that reminded me so much of the lone Vampire I had met in the woods all that time ago. "They'll kill me even if they keep you."

I'd been hoping he would ask this. "Then maybe I should go on my own," I said. "It might be safer for you to carry on running – you could meet up with the others–"

"No," he said suddenly, gripping my hand. "I'm not leaving you."

I closed my eyes and sighed though, really, I told myself, his answer came as no surprise. Of course Edward would never leave me just as I would never leave him – so long as I had the choice.

"So you'll work from the inside to destroy the Volturi?" Demetri asked. I nodded, aware of a noise in the distance coming closer and closer. "And you won't stop until what? They're dead."

"Probably," I agreed, trying to place the sound. I'd thought I'd heard it before, back when I was human and my senses were a lot less acute.

"You know, I think I've found a way to get my freedom after all," Demetri said suddenly, grinning slyly. Above us the sound finally reached us in the form of a large black helicopter with the Volturi crest emblazoned on the side. I watched it has the wind from its blades blew my hair over my face.

Around me I was aware of the shifters fleeing into the forest and Edward tugging at my hand. He wanted me to run too. The helicopter would need a few minutes to land – we could run. But I didn't, I stayed where I was.

"Nice," I said to Demetri. "So the helicopter followed you, always a few hours behind?"

"It makes too much of a din to be there all the time," Demetri explained looking as though he was enjoying himself. "So the tracker goes first and the helicopter follows, like the prison follows the police."

That last part made no sense but I didn't call him up on it. Instead, I squeezed Edward's hand tightly and looked into his golden eyes.

"Let's end this," I told him as the helicopter came in to land. He squeezed my hand back, trusting me.


	35. Shooting Across the Sky like a Meteor

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**35. Shooting Across the Sky like a Meteor **

The trip to Volterra was long. There are no handcuffs strong enough to hold down a Vampire so we spent the entire journey with our hands held forcibly behind our backs by the Vampires, Jane and Alec. They barely looked like teenagers; I wondered if this was some sort of humiliation tactic by the Volturi – having their criminals detained by children.

"Have you found any of the others yet?" I asked them. They didn't answer but the blonde girl detaining Edward never took her gleaming red eyes off me.

"You're immune to my power," she said just as we were preparing to land in Volterra.

"I'm immune to a lot Gifts," I told her. "Why don't you try me against Aro?"

"How did you know about Aro's Gift?" she asked. Edward winced as she seemed to tighten her grip on his hands. "Have you been telling tales, little boy?" Her voice was as sweet as a child's too. It felt like my stomach was churning.

The helicopter parked on top of a large grand building. It looked like a palace. However, the Volturi weren't inside the palace. Inside was dull and dusty. It was like nobody had been in here for centuries. A few skeletons lounged about on sofas, draped in clothes from hundreds of years ago.

"What is this place?" I whispered in horror.

"This was the palace of the ruling humans of this country before the Volturi took over," Jane explained almost proudly. "We've left everything as it was as a sort of tribute." Edward was in front of me so I couldn't see his expression but I imagined it was grim.

I remembered Tanya telling me the wonderful things humans used to achieve for themselves before the Volturi came along and had Vampires invent everything for them. With every body I passed, I was passing what had once been a human free from Vampire control. Was there a future that would echo this past?

"Don't touch anything," Jane warned in front of me, despite the fact knowing full well Alec had my hands tied securely behind me. "We've been ruling for so long that these bones are only a brush away from dissolving into dust." I could hear the smile in her voice. "You humans are so fragile."

They led us all the way down to the ground floor – and then even further. Through underground tunnels we traipsed, my stomach feeling heavier and heavier with each step we took. I was terrified but I didn't want to let the others see that.

Eventually the tunnels opened up into a large dome-shaped room. There was a red carpet running along the stone floor, leading all the way to the three thrones which stood on a sort of alter. All three of these thrones were occupied by pale men in black cloaks with ruby red eyes.

"Ah, at last!" the middle Vampire sighed, standing up and walking down the steps towards us. "It's good to see you again, Edward." Jane let go of Edward's hands and the Vampire took one in his own, tracing the back of it intimately. My eyes darted about the room, taking in the other exit at the other end of the room in the form of a large heavy-looking wooden door.

"Hmm, you have been busy haven't you?" the Vampire mused and I realised with a shock that this was Aro. He looked so…normal. I'd been expecting some sort of demon like the old artists used to paint to symbolise their hatred of the Vampires. Aro just looked like one of us.

He turned to me and I felt Alec let go of my hands. The two teenagers went and stood by the left of the thrones, watching us as intently as the other two leaders were doing. "And this must be Bella Swan," he said, smiling. "Tanya told me all about you before we had to put her down. So did the shifter actually – he was very fond of you at one point." I fought the urge to growl. Aro held out his hand. "I also hear from Edward that you're quite Gifted. May I?"

This was it. This was where the entire plan could fall apart. I held out my hand and he snatched it, tracing patterns on my skin just as he had with Edward.

"Well, isn't that interesting?" he said, his voice a gentle breath. "I can get nothing from you at all. How extraordinary!" Relief rushed through my body like adrenaline. He looked passed me to Demetri. "You did well," he said. I turned to see Demetri bow his head. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

"But what's all this I hear about you becoming one of us and taking us down?" Aro asked suddenly.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward's body go rigid. He hadn't thought that Aro could see through him to our plan. He'd been careless.

I had clicked straight away but I'd kept that to myself.

"Bella–" he began but Demetri was behind him then, hand wrapped around his throat.

"Shut up," I told him. He stared at me in shock. Aro seemed impressed.

"Now, you are special," he said. "Tell me; did you intentionally lure your Mate here?"

I turned back to look Aro in the face. I stared into his eyes and said carefully and slowly, "I want to join the Volturi but not to take you down. I want to be part of the most powerful group in the world. I have a defensive Gift – I could be your spy."

"I wasn't very impressed with our last spies," he said, his eyes flashing. I felt a pang in my chest when I realised he was referring to Alice and Jasper.

"Please," I said to him. I tried to make my voice determined but I was worried I sounded as though I was begging.

Aro pursed his lips, something that didn't look right with him. "Tell me something about you first," he said. "I'm fascinated. Tanya, Edward and that shifter boy could only tell me so much." It took all my effort not to flinch when he referred to Jacob like that.

I glared at him, refusing to tell him anything about me. The thought of sharing my life with somebody like him sent chills down my spine.

"Very well," Aro said, turning back around and heading back for his throne. My eyes flitted across the room again. A larger Vampire had come through the door. _Felix._ "This has been quite an accomplished day," Aro went on after he had sat back down. I looked to the side to find Demetri still clutching Edward's throat. Edward was looking at me, his eyes both pleading and questioning. "Why don't we pick it up tomorrow? I need to have a think and discuss things with my brothers. Felix, Demetri? Show them to the cells."

Felix stepped towards me and I cringed when he grabbed hold of my arm.

"Oh, and let them share a cell why don't you?" Aro said humbly. "They are supposedly Mated after all. Seems one wasn't enough for Edward."

We were led out of the large room via the other exit, down more tunnels and finally onto a corridor of cells. They were all empty but Felix seemed to choose one specifically for us to go in. He pulled open the heavy door. Inside was a dark room with no light. I realised once the door was shut behind us there would be nothing for us to see by. As it was we had very little light from a lantern Felix carried in his large hand.

"A little nest for the love birds," Demetri joked, shoving Edward in. Felix shoved me in next but not before his hand grazed my lower back making me shudder.

"_Aro won't execute you straight away. He'll at least keep you overnight. He likes to drag things out, show he sees you as no threat to him. He might even let you and Edward share a cell just to throw you – make it look like you're the enemy, disobeying his laws when he's being so nice to you."_

Once the door had closed behind us, Edward and I were in total darkness.

"You want to join them?" Edward asked, suddenly breaking the silence between us. "After everything they've put you through?" His voice sounded broken, like the Edward I found in the woods. I reached a hand out to him, my fingers brushed the skin of his arm not covered by his shirt but he moved away from me. I listened as he shuffled over to the corner of the cell and sat down.

Determined to make him understand, I followed him and sat beside him. I made sure we didn't touch – I wouldn't force myself upon him if he didn't want me – but I did lean over to him so my lips were inches from his ear.

"It's all part of Irina's plan like I said," I whispered.

"But he knows about the plan now. It's over."

"No. You have to trust me. Aro won't think of me as a threat. You saw the look on his face, he looked like he found the idea of _me _overthrowing _them_ funny." I risked placing a hand on his shoulder. "I suppose when you live as long as them you'd find humour in everything."

"So you really don't want to join them?" he asked, his voice so small.

"No, but I don't want to carry on living like we're doing now either. Something has got to give."

I placed my head on his shoulder and leaned into him. He didn't push me away, he held me close to him. I smiled in the darkness.

"I suppose this is sort of what being at the bottom of the ocean feels like," I said quietly.

"This is nothing like it," he said bitterly. "I'll find a way to show you the real thing, I promise." My heart ached at his words. There would be no way for him to find.

"I won't let the Volturi hurt you," I promised him, taking his hand and lacing my fingers in his. "I promise."

"We'll get out of this, Bella," he said to me. "Whether we destroy the Volturi or not we'll get out of this."

I snuggled further into him, wishing I could see his face. It must have been so confusing for him. I wondered if he consciously knew I was keeping things from him. He never asked me but I think he did know. I like to think he trusted me enough to allow me my secrets.

"_But what about Edward? What will they do to him?"_

"_Don't worry. I've thought of that too. Let me explain…"_

Edward kissed me first much to my relief. I was scared of initiating contact like that with him because I was so sure he would feel my desperation seeping out of my skin, engulfing us. We undressed each other slowly, feeling with our fingers what our eyes could not see.

"I wish I could see you," he whispered as he kissed his way down my body.

"Me too," I replied, hoping he would mistake my choked voice for fear of the situation we had found ourselves in.

I wondered how Jacob and Tanya had coped down here on their own, locked in their own cells without a comforting hand to hold. Did they talk to each other whilst they were down here? Did they already know what was going to happen to them?

I gasped as our bodies began moving together. Now that my sight was rendered useless, my other senses were on high alert. Snaking my hand down his back, I stored away in my mind the feeling of his skin beneath fingertips; the sound of his gentle growling in my ear; the taste of his mouth on mine; the smell of his sweet breath as he panted gently into the crook of my neck. So human yet not.

If he noticed anything different to how I acted, he didn't say. If he noticed how desperately my fingers clutched onto him, he didn't ask.

I didn't know when the sun went down or when it came up again but eventually we had to prise ourselves apart and dress hurriedly as we heard the heavy footsteps of Felix and Demetri approach our cell.

I kissed Edward one last time before the door was flung open, revealing the two Volturi Vampires.

"_Watch what you say when it comes to Aro deciding your fate. Let him believe you've turned over a new leaf, let him think you worship him. You need to create as much confusion as possible."_

The Vampires led us back to the main dome-shaped room where everything was just as it had been the day before. I wondered if any of them had even moved. Demetri and Felix pushed us to stand before the thrones and their occupants before they retreated to stand by the door that led to the cells.

"I hope you enjoyed your night together," Aro said, smiling slyly. "Because it's going to be your last."

Edward flinched at his words, his arm automatically snaked around me, pulling me close. I remained as still as ever, keeping my cool.

Aro looked amused. "Tell me, Edward, why would you and Tanya lie to us? Why would you choose to go against our laws and falsify a Mating?"

"We didn't so anything wrong," Edward told him confidently. "We were mistaken."

"So how do I know that you're not mistaken by declaring Bella Swan as your Mate?" Aro asked. "I simply can't trust the two of you at all."

"But I want to join," I spoke up. "Please, I want to join you."

Aro focused on me, his eyes narrowing. At either side of him, the other two leaders watched. They were nothing more than assistants to him just as those nameless Vampires had been nothing more than assistants to Demetri. It was all about Aro.

"We don't allow traitors in our family," he told me, his lips curling into a sneer. "Me and my brothers have decided you both shall be executed…on television."

"What?" Edward cried.

The Volturi never got involved with modern technology – they never showed up on television or in newspapers or magazines. This was something new; another sign they wanted more power, more control.

"We need to set an example to the rest of the world," Aro explained, smiling patiently. "We need to let everybody know that law-breakers don't deserve to live."

"You monster!" Edward cried. He'd lost it. "You're nothing but control freaks the lot of you. I swear the day will come when you're nothing!"

Aro regarded Edward with a bored expression. "Take them both away whilst we make the proper arrangements," he said to Demetri and Felix. "Separate cells this time – we don't want them plotting their romantic escape. Take Edward first."

Demetri wrestled Edward from me and marched him out of the room. My fingers still burned from where Edward had touched me last, as he had tried to grab for my hand.

"_He'll lead Edward away first. That's what he always does when executing Mates. He likes to watch one of them being tortured as the other is pulled away. And he'll want to watch you being tortured because you're new and exciting."_

"It's such a shame you're a criminal, Bella," Aro said as I looked towards the door where Edward had been pulled through. How far away where they now? "Because you do interest me. I would have liked to get to know you but laws must be obeyed and criminals must be punished."

Fuelled with anger by his words, I made to attack Felix.

"_You need to target Felix. He holds no qualms about attacking a woman."_

Felix brought his huge fist slamming into my stomach. In those few seconds I thought of Edward and I and everything we had shared; I thought of Lizzie and the life she sacrificed for the Resistance; of the shifters and the Hell Raisers and the Lycanthropes and the Vampire Guardians and their determination to change the world; I thought of the Vampires back in Forks and how they rebelled against the Vampire social norms but still managed a peaceful existence; I thought of Angela who I had thought was my friend; of the Angels and their warped view of society; of Jacob and me at First Beach; of Charlie and the meals we shared in silence after he came home from work; I thought of my mom, Renee and how her and Phil had tried to protect me; I thought of the werewolf that had started it all.

The ticking has started.

We only have a few seconds but my Vampire brain takes in everything that happens in those few seconds. I watch as Aro looks at me, first in confusion as he hears the unfamiliar sound and then in anger as he puts everything together.

"_The force of Felix's punch should trigger the bomb."_

"_How do you know all this?"_

"_Because I was a Volturi Vampire once," Irina told me. "And if there's one weakness that they have it's that they never change."_

His mouth opens as though he's going to form words but he doesn't have the time. I stare into his eyes, hating him to be the last thing I look at but pleased that my face is the last thing he will ever see.

In my own head, I'm screaming. I'm crying out to Jacob because he better be waiting for me and I'm apologising to everybody I'm leaving behind. There better be something after this; there better be something worth going through all this for.

Please forgive me, Edward. I love–

**END OF PART 2**


	36. Mourning

**Title: **The Lost Soul  
**Rating: **T  
**Full Summary: **The Volturi have fallen. And so has Bella Swan. Left wandering through a world that is slowly falling apart, Edward wonders whether her sacrifice has been worth it. Lonely and grieving, he meets up with old friends who do their best to reassure him that Bella did the right thing. But is life really worth living without your Mate?

**Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**PART 3: THE LOST SOUL**

**36. Mourning**

The bright orange of the flames spread from one house to the other. From so high up on the mountain, the figures were nothing but shadows blurring into one another. It was impossible to distinguish between human and Vampire.

It had been like this non-stop for a week, ever since the Volturi had been wiped out by…

I turned away from the sight below me, unable to bear looking at the mess Bella had caused. It wasn't meant to be like this. She had wanted to bring peace. I sat on a rock with my back to the chaos, looking straight ahead at the peaceful trees in front of me. It was like I was sitting right in the middle of the calm and the chaos.

I'd known Bella was up to something; of course I had. She…_was_ my Mate – there was nothing she could fully hide from me. But I had kept quiet. I had done the stupid thing of not asking her anything about it and had simply hoped that she had known what she was doing. I remembered how she had always wanted to do things on her own; confronting the Angels, joining the Lycanthropes. A pain ripped through me at that last thought and drove my fist into the nearest tree in anger. I should have known she would be putting herself in danger again.

But that was Bella; always looking out for others. I wouldn't have changed her for the world, even if it meant being able to have her here with me now. It hurt to admit it, but it was the truth.

Both Demetri and I had felt the explosion before we heard it. It travelled from the floor up into my body, making my insides quake as though in fear. Demetri gave a cry of horror and tried to run for it. He got a few feet ahead of me before the ceiling came crashing down, along with the palace that was situated on top.

I had let everything crush me. Never in my long years of being a Vampire had I ever been so frozen in place. All I could think about was how nothing could have survived that blast, not Felix or the Volturi or Bella. She was gone. That thought crushed me more than any centuries-old building could have ever done. For a while I sat there, as still as a statue hoping I would hear the sounds of Bella scrambling through the debris, trying to get out. I heard nothing to my right though and the only sound to my left was of Demetri clawing his way out. Why had he survived and not Bella?

Of course I knew the answer to that; Bella must have been the one with the bomb. It explained so much; her trying to join the Volturi, the feeling that she was hiding something from me. In the end, not being able to breathe became too uncomfortable to bear and, with a silent apology to my dear love, I left her behind and spent the next couple of hours climbing out of the mountain of debris. I passed old furniture, now crumbling to dust, the odd skull from the palace that had survived, all the while thinking of how Bella had done what she did.

She had to have swallowed it. If it had been on her person, we all would have detected the metallic smell and I would have found it the night before when we…I grabbed a pendulum from an old clock and crushed it between my fingers. Of course, there were other possibilities too – I'd heard of the ways humans smuggled drugs when they were desperate for money – but I didn't think Bella was the kind of person to do that kind of thing.

So where had she gotten the bomb? I knew that answer before the question had even formed in my head. Irina. This all had to have been Irina's plan. Bella would never have come up with it. As smart as she had been, she wasn't up to Qualified standards.

When I had emerged from the rubble, it was to greet the many humans that had gathered round in horror, staring at the great abyss that had once housed their leaders.

"Is that…Was that…" one asked. It was a little girl with hair and eyes so brown it hurt to look at her.

All it took was one person. "The Volturi have fallen!" And then the whole world fell apart.

I caught up with Demetri a few hours later. He was fleeing the city. I killed him before he had a chance to escape. If my Bella couldn't enjoy the freedom she had given so much to gain then a traitor such as him definitely wouldn't.

Now I began my journey down the mountain, my intentions clear in my mind.

Since the fall of the Volturi, Vampires discovered they were free to feed from whomever they liked. This led to chaos. Humans began using fire to ward of Vampires leading to many homes and buildings being destroyed. Fire was only a short-term solution. The long-term of it were the bombs which were still going – now stronger than before.

I walked down the streets, glad the sun had set so as not to reveal my identity to the humans. My eye colour worked to an advantage. A burly man went running down the street screaming at the top of his lungs. In each hand he carried a flaming torch – what looked like stair railings set on fire. He stopped short when he saw me, peered at my face through narrow eyes.

"Pardon me, sir," he said in Italian, thrusting one of the torches at me. "I almost mistakened you for one of _them_. Protect yourself, sir. We're in for a rough time ahead."

I took one of the torches from him so as not to appear suspicious – something I had a feeling I would be doing a lot of from now on – and looked at the burning flame. Was this the future that Bella had wanted? I threw the torch aside, not caring where it landed. I didn't care about anything anymore except finding a well-armed human. Chaos was everywhere; everyone's thoughts were so jumbled together that it was hard to read anyone.

Breathing in the air around me, I allowed my mouth to water at the smell of human blood which was pumping hot and fast around everybody's adrenaline-fuelled bodies. Opening my eyes, I saw my target. It was a family of four; parents and two children. They were crowded in an alley, the father frantically pushing his family further into the darkness out of harm's way. He, too, carried two torches both burning hotly.

He noticed me when I was but three steps away.

"Get back you monster!" he yelled. I could have killed him easily had that been my intention. Instead I let him swipe at me, let the flames burn my skin for a fraction of a second. Would this do the job? Would burning be enough to kill me or did I have to be dismembered? From what I'd seen, those of us that had been burned hadn't died straight away. They'd simply grown weak and, left vulnerable, had been blown up by grenades.

So letting that man attack me was just step one but hopefully step two would come quickly. As though reassuring me, I heard a grenade blast just a few blocks away. Taking my hesitation as his only chance to act, the man leapt forward. His torch was seconds from igniting me but before he could I was pulled out of the way with such speed and strength that it could only have been by a Vampire.

I didn't know this Vampire – this young man with burning red eyes and thick brown hair – but that didn't seem to matter to him.

"Be careful," he warned me, having no idea I had been on a suicide mission. "Don't misjudge their strength. We've become too complacent over the centuries." And then he was gone, leaving me stood there with sudden second thoughts.

What if there was an afterlife and, having managed to succeed in destroying myself, I'd met up with Bella only to have her scream at me for giving up. I couldn't help but smile a little. I could just picture her face framed by that deep brown hair of hers. Her eyebrows would be pulled heavy over her eyes, her jaw jutted out and her glare would have been piercing. She wouldn't want me to take my own life; she'd want me to be stronger than that.

Silently thanking the Vampire who had saved me, I turned and ran for the mountains.

"So, what do I do now, Bella?" I asked the sky above me. "Do I just keep wandering until I find someone who wants to kill me? Is that it? Is that all I have now?" No wind rustled as a sign she had heard me. Was there even an afterlife for us? We started out as human so if there was one for humans then there had to be one for us – unless religion was just a farce humans invented to try and scare us away.

I sighed and slid down to the floor where I lay, looking up at the stars above me. I wanted to believe there was something. I wanted reassurance that I would see her again, hold her again, listen to her grumble about some injustice or other – because even if a perfect heaven did exist she would find fault with it.

"What do I do now?" I repeated in a whisper, closing my eyes.

And then it came to me all at once. Alice! Jasper! Carlisle! Esme! Emmett! Rosalie! My friends! Now that the Volturi had gone I could meet up with them again! It would just be like the old days, we'd play baseball in the clearing by the woods in Forks, we'd challenge each other as to who could win the most games of chess – and I would swear I wasn't cheating by reading their minds. How could I not think of them when I had been considering ending my life? How could I do that to them when they had done so much for me?

Nevertheless my heart still sank. I didn't want to go back to the old days. I wanted to still be living in the new days with Bella. It would be weird going back to only finding peace when I was alone. It had been nice not being able to read somebody's mind for once. And of course, Bella herself. My Mate. Gone forever.

Clenching my fists, I jumped to my feet. I needed to stop moping. If she was here now she would have buried me alive for all the sulking I had done. Hadn't I told her that we needed to forget the past and look towards the future? The future was so uncertain now that it was hard to envision what life would be like in the next few years but I couldn't keep going over the past and mourning her. She was gone, she wasn't coming back but at least – for a tiny proportion of my life – I had had her and held her and loved her.

Surely it was better to have loved and lost her than not found her at all and spent my life feeling out of place even though I was surrounded by friends and…Tanya.

I wasn't ready to let go of Bella just yet though so I decided to head back to England, the only place in the world where – for a brief amount of time – seemed to belong us and only us.


	37. Seduction

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**37. Seduction **

I steered clear from civilisation for the next month or so as I journeyed back to England. I took my time, I was in no rush – it wasn't like Bella would be waiting for me. However, I glimpsed enough on my travels to learn every country was now facing the same problem. Communications were now down as those of us who once operated the television channels and phone lines had fled to feed when they learned of the fall.

Bombs could be heard going off in every city I passed. There was a faint hope inside my heart for me to get tangled up in a bomb, to be blown to smithereens, and never have to think again. But there was a greater part of me who wanted to make it to England, to walk the soil I had walked with her and nobody else.

I was disappointed when I got there, however. I had expected the place to have a feel about it but it was empty; there was no sign Bella had even been here at all. I spent weeks tracking our moves, smelling the air to try and catch any of her scent that still lingered there. I got nothing.

I'd been in England for a month and a half before Irina found me.

"It was her choice, you know," she said, coming up behind me. I was crouched on a mountain top, the wind roaring against me. I liked looking down on things, at the valleys and the villages below. It gave me a sort of purpose; my purpose was to watch the world grow and mould itself into the future that Bella had always wanted. I would see what she couldn't. "I didn't force her to do anything."

I couldn't help but smirk at the thought though I imagined my expression was bitter. "I know," I told her, still not turning around. "Nobody could force Bella to do anything."

"I quite admired that part of her," Irina said wistfully. She sat down beside me though I didn't invite her to. She was wearing the black uniform of the Hell Raisers though where it had looked bulky on the likes of Nikki, it seemed to complement her athletic figure. She caught me looking, smiled knowingly. "The Hell Raisers are still going," she told me. "The amount of Vampires in the world is far too great for there to ever be peace. We're picking them off one by one."

I stared at her in shock. "What? How does that make any sense? You started this whole thing off to earn justice for your friends!"

"I did," Irina agreed. "And justice has been delivered in the form of the destruction of the Volturi. Now I want something more."

I wasn't surprised. I remembered Tanya telling me everything she had been through in her lifetime and how I'd noticed it had been nothing but a journey from one goal to another. Sometimes that goal had taken centuries, sometimes only months but the goal had always been there. When you live forever you have to work towards a goal otherwise you just merely exist. Even the likes of us like to have a purpose.

"So what do you want now?"

Irina smiled, a faraway look in her eyes. They were a dark gold now – close to black. No doubt my eyes were the same colour. It had been a long time since I had hunted. "I want things to go back to the way it all was before the Volturi."

"But that's how it is now," I pointed out, referring to the Vampires who were now freely feeding on humans with no laws to stop them.

Her expression darkened. "You've been just as brainwashed by them as the humans have," she hissed. "Yes, about three thousand years ago it was like this but then there was a brief hundred year gap before the Volturi established itself when Vampires were reigning in their feeding habits. We almost became invisible to the human species."

"You mean they didn't know we existed?" I asked, unable to even imagine a world in which that was the case.

Irina nodded eagerly. "Wouldn't that be brilliant? Nobody would know about us so we wouldn't be hunted like we're being now. Both sides would live in peace."

"But what about the others?" I asked. "The werewolves and the shape-shifters?"

"The shape-shifters have always kept to themselves," Irina said, shrugging gracefully. "And the werewolves…" She sighed. "They're more human than us, you know. Most of them committed suicide when they learned what they were. And the others…Well, without the Volturi guarding them we picked them off."

"So you're saying the werewolves were almost extinct before the Volturi came into power?"

"Rare but not extinct," she said. "I don't think they will ever become extinct so long as there are people who thirst for power."

I thought about that for a bit, the two of us sat in silence. "So you're going to try and whittle us down to a manageable population?" I asked. Irina nodded. "Then why don't you get rid of me?"

She looked at me with what seemed like amusement in her eyes. "Because I like you," she said.

Her stare made me uncomfortable so I turned away, changed the subject. "Tell me what you told Bella to do," I said.

"Edward, do you really think that's a good–?"

"Just tell me," I snapped, balling my hands into fists. "I want to know."

For a moment or two there was nothing but silence and I was about to ask her again when she finally spoke.

"I gave her a bomb to swallow," she said, confirming my suspicions. "And I told her to go after Felix because he would punch her in the stomach which would activate it."

I stared at her. "How did you know Felix would punch her?"

"Experience," was all she said as she rubbed her own stomach. "Of course there were many risks but there's no such thing as a plan without risk is there? Luckily, it worked out for the best."

"Did it though?" I asked, thinking of the burning cities and villages that I had passed; the bomb-blasted landscapes, the homeless children. "Did it really?"

Irina fixed me with a glare. "No revolution is perfect," she said. I'd never even heard of a revolution before the Resistance so I just had to accept her word for it. "Give it a few decades and it will all calm down."

"And return to how it was in that century before the Volturi took over?" My voice was filled with scepticism.

"You need to have a little trust, Edward," she told me. "You won't get very far with an attitude like that."

"I don't plan on getting very far."

I could hear her going over what I had said in her mind. She was sad that I thought such a thing, she had been hoping for me to join her.

"I don't plan on joining you either," I answered her unasked question.

"Then what do you plan on doing, may I ask?"

I hadn't even thought of that myself. I shrugged. "I'll just see how everything goes, I suppose. I'll find my friends first and take it from there."

She nodded. Her face was neutral but I could hear the disappointment in her mind. Before I could ask why she wanted me to join her cause so much, she rose to her feet and offered me her hand. It was such a human gesture that it took me a second longer than it should have to accept it. She hauled me up.

"Let's hunt," she said. "I can tell by your eyes that it's been a while." Her words seemed to hold a double-meaning.

"I haven't thought about hunting much lately," I admitted. "I've had other things on my mind."

"Have you been tempted to drink human blood? And I mean live human blood not the lousy bottles that are slowly wasting away in the abandoned Blood Banks."

I thought of the time I had drank live and a shudder ripped through my body – and not because I had found it horrifying. I had drank with Bella and then afterwards…

"I associate drinking live with Bella," I said. "I wouldn't want to taint that memory by replacing it with another."

She cocked an eyebrow at me, clearly unimpressed with my logic.

"Whatever you wish," she said. "I, for one, am looking forward to drinking live again." She smiled sadly. "But I think I'll have to wait a few more years until everything has died down. I wouldn't want to contribute to the mayhem that is happening around us."

She turned and broke into a run. I hated to admit it but the thought of blood and hunting pushed something akin to adrenaline through my veins and I took off after her. I had hunted since Bella had died of course but only to keep myself strong and in control of my urges. It felt like it had been a long time since I had actually enjoyed the hunt.

Catching up with Irina easily, we ran side-by-side. Nothing would be better than hunting with Bella but Irina had been a Vampire for so long that within every stride and twitch of her eyes she expressed experience. It was beautiful to watch. However, I was the first to clock the deer.

We moved silently, one eye on the deer, one eye on each other. I wasn't prepared to share this with her; that would have been too intimate. Even now, after nearly a century of being a Vampire, there was an old-fashioned side of me that declared it was only proper to let her have it and find another for myself.

But the Vampire I was crushed that side like a bug and, without warning, I charged through the bushes and into the deer. We tumbled onto the ground, it struggling to escape, me struggling to pin it down. I had sunk my teeth into its neck before Irina's body hit me with full force and shoved me out of the way.

I tumbled a few feet away from her and my prey before I rose to my feet, growling at her menacingly. I loved this side of me; this side that was so animalistic I didn't need to feel the hurt I had felt when I was being a proper person.

Irina looked up at me, blood running from her mouth and onto her clothes, staining them an even darker black that only eyes like mine could pick up on. The deer still struggle underneath her. If it had been me feeding from it I would have had the decency to break its neck first.

"Do you want some?" Irina asked, sliding her tongue over her lips, licking up the blood that was stuck there. For a second she looked so much like Tanya and my mind wandered back to that time when we had hunted lions in South Africa and she had looked at me just like that before pouncing on me and…

As I'd been distracted by my thoughts, Irina had done the same thing. She pinned me to the ground beneath her, letting me feel the weight of her body against me. Her bloody lips were inches from my face but no matter how thirsty I was or how much my throat burned in agony, I didn't want to feed like this.

"Get off me," I told her, calmly at first.

"Don't be like that," she said, smiling with bloodstained teeth. "You don't have to live without it just because your Mate has died."

"Get off me." My voice was cold but still she didn't move.

"I lost my Mate too," she went on. "Laurent his name was, but that doesn't mean I can't be with anybody else."

I pulled her face even closer to me, our noses were brushing against one another. "I said," I breathed onto her face before pronouncing every word clearly and plainly, "Get. Off. Me." I then brought my knees up and kicked her to the other side of the clearing. Getting to my feet, I watched her pick herself up as though dazed. Her thoughts screamed anger but I couldn't bring myself to completely loathe her for what she did because from her thoughts I could also pick out her loneliness and her sorrow for Laurent.

"I think it's best if we never meet again," I told her calmly and coldly. She looked at me, looking almost guiltily but no apology fell from her lips. She nodded in agreement. Between us, the deer lay still.

I turned around and walked away, my appetite had suddenly vanished.


	38. Meeting Up

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**38. Meeting Up**

I stayed in Britain for a year, travelling up and down the country, avoiding people. The population of Britain was so low that I could go for a weeks without seeing anybody so long as I stuck to the woods and the mountains. I hunted when I needed to, never enjoying it.

It was when I was sitting in a tree and looking up at the full moon that I decided to go and check out the Werewolf Warehouse. If Irina and her Hell Raisers were still continuing then what had happened to the Lycanthropes? The Volturi was now defeated; surely they weren't still there either?

Just as I had thought the warehouse was deserted. Rotting food lay abandoned on the metal tables. It looked like they had left in a hurry. I could just imagine it now, them sitting round eating and then someone comes running in, says they've heard cheering in the villages outside the woods so they all follow and learn that the Volturi is no longer in existence. I smiled at the thought until I saw the cage which reminded me of the time Bella had tried to become a werewolf by getting scratched by…

Lizzie.

The other possibility was that they had left when someone had come rushing in, announcing they had found what looked to be Lizzie's grave. I thought about that spot on the cliffs, overlooking the beach. For a second I considered going back there to pay my respects but shoved the thought away. It was such a human thing to do, one of those ideas that came to me every now and again but I quickly dismissed.

As I was about to turn to leave the building, I sensed two Vampires waiting for me outside and my dead heart seemed to leap with joy as I realised who they were. I ran out and straight into…

"Alice! Jasper!" I cried. How could I have been so intent on joining Bella before I met up with my friends again?

"Edward!" Alice scolded. "What have you been doing all this time?" She looked angry, her little hands balanced on her small hips. I stared at her, noticing the difference in her eyes and in Jasper's too.

"You've been feeding off animals," I stated calmly.

Alice seemed taken aback for a moment. "Yes," she said. "The Blood Banks all went down. We had no choice."

Jasper didn't seem to fully agree with her. "Of course we had a choice," he said. "But Alice was intent on not ruining Bella's memory by committing the same violent acts as the others are doing."

"Never mind that," Alice said, waving a hand in dismissal. "You didn't answer me, Edward! What have you been doing all this time? Look at the state of you!"

I looked down at myself, noticing for the first time that I still wore the same clothes I had left Italy with. They hung off me in shreds, stained a deep blood red. I opened my mouth to offer an explanation but closed it again when I realised I couldn't come up with one.

"Never mind," she said soothingly, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "We're here now. We brought you some fresh clothes." I smiled gratefully at her, her mind telling me they hadn't, of course, just come to bring me new clothes.

Once I'd changed, we stood around the clearing, me glaring at Alice and her just watching me sympathetically. I could tell from her thoughts that she knew what I wanted to ask her so I went right ahead.

"Why didn't you stop her?" I demanded. "Surely you must have foreseen it all?" I felt like I should be ripping her throat out but Jasper controlled me, kept me calm. His eyes flickered between Alice and me as though he was the referee in our discussion.

"I saw everything the moment she decided to agree," Alice said, nodding. "But I couldn't have reached her in time even if I had wanted to stop her."

A spike of anger ran through me at her words, so strong that even Jasper struggled to keep me calm.

"Even if you wanted to?" I said through gritted teeth. My hands were clenched into fists by my side. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Alice hesitated for a second, keeping her mind purposefully blank. "Bella always hated it when I made decisions for her based on my Gift," she explained, slowly and carefully as though she was afraid of angering me further by blurting the wrong thing. "I let her make this one by herself just like she would have wanted."

But there was something else too, a hazy thought flitting around in Alice's mind that I couldn't hear properly. "You're keeping something from me," I hissed, tasking a step forward. Jasper's hand was on my shoulder instantly.

"Easy," he growled in warning. I glared back at him.

"I had a vision based on Bella's choice," Alice explained meekly. When she didn't say anything more, I looked at her again to find her smiling shyly at me. "She's saved the world," was all she added.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I threw Jasper's hand off me. He didn't react; he must have sensed I no longer cared to hurt his Mate.

"It means that I saw peace in the world," she said. "Maybe not in a year or in ten years from now, but sooner or later these attacks will stop and the world will become peaceful."

"How?" I asked. "How will it become peaceful?"

Alice shrugged. "It changes from time to time," she admitted, looking slightly embarrassed that her Gift wasn't accurate. It wasn't her Gift that was the problem though – the future just wasn't set yet. "Sometimes the humans, the Vampires, the werewolves and the shape-shifters are living side-by-side peacefully and in some versions…" She trailed off, looking confused. "In some versions humans don't know we exist at all! Can you imagine that? It sounds impossible!"

I thought of Irina's account of what the world had been like before the Volturi and I couldn't help but smile. A small hand on my shoulder made me look up into Alice's golden eyes.

"She made the right decision, Edward," Alice told me confidently. "It may not seem like it now but she did the right thing."

"I just miss her so much," I admitted and, to my horror, I crumbled. I let Alice hold me as I sobbed tearlessly into her shoulder. Even though I was embarrassed it was so nice to finally have someone comfort me.

It had been a long and lonely year.

"It's going to be okay, Edward," Alice told me soothingly. "You had a life before Bella and you'll have one after her." I didn't really find her words comforting at all but I could understand them and I understood what she was trying to say.

I pulled away from her. "So where are the others?" I asked, stepping back and trying to forget my moment of weakness.

"In Forks," Jasper answered. "We've all met up there again."

The thought of going to Forks – the place where I had met Bella – hurt me more than I thought it would.

"You don't have to come back with us," Alice assured me, sensing my discomfort before even Jasper could. "If you need to be on your own for a bit longer then we understand but we're always going to be there waiting for you if you need to find us."

I looked at the two of them, concern written all over their faces and I felt another pang of guilt at the fact I'd tried to destroy myself without even meeting up with them again. I looked at Alice; had she seen what I had planned to do? She didn't mention it and I was too ashamed to bring it up so I let it drop.

"What's the situation in America?" I asked, moving on. "How did you find out about it all?"

The pair of them went on to explain how they'd been travelling through Austria the entire time Bella and I had been in England.

"We were sure the Volturi were coming after you first," Alice explained, "Though they liked to change their minds a lot – they liked messing with me I suppose." Jasper placed a protective arm around her waist.

She went on to explain how she had been keeping watch over the Volturi's decisions as well as over the rest of us.

"It was exhausting." She smiled. "I'd never thought I'd actually say that. For the first time since I'd become a Vampire I felt exhausted!" Her amusement was short-lived however as she told me she had seen Bella accepting Irina's plan. "It came to me out of the blue. It was sort of like my subconscious knew I would want to see it, knew that it was important."

"Your Gift has always been a bit…inconclusive," Jasper said, smiling as though he was thinking of a private joke. Alice gave him a playful shove in the chest. It hurt to see them acting so close when I was now so alone. Jasper sent an apologetic glance my way before carrying on with the tale himself.

He explained how they'd been passing through a street on their way to a small hideout in the mountains which they had found when the humans came flooding out of their homes. "The smell was intoxicating," he admitted. "We could no longer visit Blood Banks because they would keep our names on record so we'd been living off animal blood even then. I almost went for one of them." He said it so casually, in a way that was obvious to me that he had never been in love with a human.

"One of them grabbed me by the arms and screamed in my face that there'd been an attack on the Volturi in Italy and they had been killed," he continued. He smirked. "She had been so relieved by the news I don't think she even noticed I was a Vampire."

"It was nice, wasn't it?" Alice said to her Mate, "Those first couple of hours when everybody was just so relieved to be freed from the Volturi's control." Jasper nodded.

"But then the other Vampires started feeding," I finished the story for them.

Alice nodded. "We left after that, travelled the world for a bit before I saw the others heading back to Forks. I saw you as well but every time I made a decision to come and see you, I saw you attacking me in anger. You weren't ready to face anyone yet."

I blinked in surprise. I hadn't realised I had been in such a bad state. It was odd having somebody know you better than you knew yourself.

"So what now, Edward?" Jasper asked. "Will you return to Forks with us? The others are worried about you too, you know."

I thought about it for a couple of seconds. There was nothing left for me here in England. The only people left in my life were those waiting for me back in Forks. No more dwelling on the past, I reminded myself, I need to look to the future.

"Okay, I'll come back," I said.

Alice grinned.

"You knew I'd come back anyway!" I cried.

"Maybe. Maybe not," she said in her usual teasing way.

And suddenly I was laughing. I hadn't laughed like this in so long that it felt almost alien to me. Jasper and Alice started laughing too and in that moment, I realised I didn't have to be alone. I could surround myself with my friends.


	39. Back to Forks

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**39. Back to Forks**

The chess set lay abandoned in front of us. Carlisle had checkmated me half an hour earlier though I had yet to respond or offer a new game. He sat there, watching me. His mind screamed concern but I didn't say anything. I waited until he actually spoke to me.

That was probably the worst thing about mind-reading; people half-expecting to have one-way conversations. I preferred actually speaking to people than reading their minds and simply responding to whatever they thought. I'd noticed how this had become quite common in the few weeks since I'd come back to Forks. It made me miss Bella and the two-way conversations we had even more.

"Do you want another game, Edward?" Carlisle asked finally. I knew he didn't want another game; I knew he was worried about me because I hadn't left the Hotel since I'd come back except to do some hunting. I knew he wanted me to talk to him. But I couldn't.

It had been harder than I could have ever thought to come back to this place where I had met her. Immediately after stepping over the border into the town of Forks I was overcome with this horrible pain that swept through my body. Carlisle told me it would ease over time, that I would have to stand and endure it. I didn't want to endure it, I wanted it to go away but for it to go away I would need Bella back – and that was never going to happen.

Everybody had filled me in on what I had missed whilst I'd been travelling with Bella – and then travelling on my own for that year.

Esme told me Charlie wasn't doing too well. He missed Bella terribly but he had no idea she had been the one to cause the Volturi's destruction. Nobody knew who that had been though some desperately wanted to find out. We didn't tell anybody; I wanted to remember Bella as more than just a tool or a name for the Resistance.

"We didn't think it was in our place to tell him," she had explained. "So we decided to wait until you got back." I thought it a bit harsh for them to wait that long but then I remembered they weren't used to hanging around humans, and had little idea that a year was so long for them even if it is so short for us.

I hadn't seen Charlie yet. I wasn't even sure if I was ever going to show myself to him again let alone what I would say to him. He'd already tried badgering the others for answers having seen them around the town since they had come back. They'd comforted him, calmed him down and took him home before turning to me and asking what I had decided.

I hadn't decided anything yet.

"Edward?" Carlisle repeated. "I asked if you wanted another game?"

I stared down at the board, the black and white pieces seemed to merge together in front of me. I reached out and flicked my king over. The thud it made on the wooden board seemed to echo in the silent room. No Vampire had been here to stay for over a year now. They were all out, enjoying the life of freedom by draining humans dry. This Hotel had been more than a way to pass the time; it had been something to distract them from the thirst, the constant thirst which was unsatisfied with sterilised rooms and bottles of cold blood.

"You've gotten better," I noted, nodding at his collection of my white pieces.

He grinned, almost shyly. "There wasn't much to do in the Southern hemisphere," he admitted. "Esme and I played a lot of chess. It kept our minds sharp just in case…" He trailed off but I heard the thought in his mind.

"You expected the Volturi to declare war didn't you?"

"I expected you and Bella to try something," he corrected me. "And I expected a few Volturi members to survive your something and then, yes, I suppose I expected some kind of retaliation."

I kept my eyes trained on the chess pieces. There was a chip in one of the knights that was bothering me. "That was why Jasper sent us to England wasn't it?" I said calmly. "Because he knew Bella's hatred of the Volturi would lead her to do something."

Carlisle nodded slowly. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

I had already known that but yet I had gone along with the plan, let them use Bella as a pawn except…Did they really use her? Nobody could force Bella to do anything she didn't want to – not really. I suppose I had been too wrapped up in my own hurt feelings because she had attacked me and was ignoring me.

"It was my fault wasn't it?" I said, my voice quiet with remorse. This was the first time I had opened up about my feelings towards Bella's sacrifice to any of them since I had returned to Forks.

"It was nobody's fault," Carlisle assured me. "Bella made her decision."

"I wonder, if she could see everything happening now, if she would regret her decision."

"We could wonder that forever and never know the answer," Carlisle said simply. "Now, are you going to help us or are you going to sit around moping for the rest of eternity?" His tone surprised me; Carlisle often spoke to me warmly – almost like a father – but then he was sharp and impatient as though he was tired of me.

A spike of anger shot through me at that; didn't he know what I was going through? Didn't he understand? Carlisle seemed to sense my emotion but he simply cocked his head to the side and smiled.

"Whenever you're ready," he said, getting up from the table and walking away. I listened to his footsteps as they walked into the hall and then out of the front door.

The others had been spending their time defending the human citizens of the town from nomads that had started to wander through, looking for their next meal. I had thought it was stupid at first until Jasper told me that if they didn't do it then the town would turn against them. At least this way, the citizens had reason not to touch the small group of Vampires biding their time at the Vampire Hotel.

Their actions weren't as drastic as the Hell Raisers. Carlisle would try and talk to the nomads first, try to get them to move onto the next town. Some went without a fight – blood was blood and it wasn't like anybody had a preference for where to feed. Others had to be taken down by Jasper and Emmett first – and some didn't even make it out.

Emmett was glad to finally be doing something, I guess. He had told me he had felt powerless up there in Alaska as he and Rosalie both knew the Volturi would be after me and Bella first or Alice and Jasper.

"It felt like we just sat around all day twiddling our thumbs," he had said before grinning. "But now it's all kicked off, hasn't it?"

Rosalie had then hit him for being insensitive.

I quickly put the chess set away, not wanting to appear a nuisance for the others to be with. However, despite not feeling fully connected to them as I had done before we had split, I was still surprised at the prospect of them considering asking me to leave.

After I'd done that, I decided to finally venture out into the world. Leaving the Hotel, I was overcome with an alien sense of nervousness. It was odd. I felt so exposed like one side of me was open to damages. It took me a few seconds to remember this was what it felt like to be alone. I didn't know what was worse; Bella's death or these interchanging feelings between hopefulness and depression.

Carlisle had tried to explain to me that losing a Mate was a very damaging thing to happen but it didn't mean the end of me. He said my feelings would yo-yo for a bit as my self got used to the idea that I would never see my Mate again but that eventually I would calm down and neutralize; return to that never-changing state that I had been for the past century. Odd how a tragedy makes us seem human.

Forks hadn't changed much over the past year. Everything looked the same as ever. When I was walking through those streets it was hard to imagine that everywhere else in the world was burning. It was a peaceful and familiar place; I could understand why everybody else had wanted to return here.

The streets were nearly empty, however, and those few that did emerge from their homes hurried passed me with their eyes on the floor. People were more scared than they had been the last time I was here. Of course, given the current condition of the world it made sense. I wondered for how long this peace between our little group and them would last. How long before the others' satisfaction with animal blood wore off? How long before they decided to take matters into their own hands and burn down the Hotel?

My mind was so consumed with the world and my feelings that – as had happened once or twice before – I became distracted and ended up walking without really taking any notice of where I was going.

I ended up at the end of the street which led to the outskirts of the town. In front and to the side of me stood the forest, behind me the road down to the rest of the street and to the other side of me…

I turned, surprisingly slowly, and stared up at the small house that stood there set apart from the others.

The place had been fixed up crudely. The walls that had been torn down had been replaced with bricks of a different colour. The front window hadn't been replaced; simply bordered up to prevent any intruders from stepping in. I smiled without humour, remembering how surprised I had been to find Bella used a key to enter her house in Phoenix. The people of Forks had never had to bother with the idea of burglary; everybody seemed to have the same amount of nothing and we had always kept a close eye on them.

Now the world had fell apart and things weren't the same as before so everybody was starting to be a lot more careful about their property as well as their wellbeing. I couldn't imagine having any wish to hold onto material things but humans seemed to. They were keeping tight hold of everything they had as we swirled down the drain.

Taking a few steps towards the house, I noticed the police cruiser in the drive. Had he been given the day off? Or did nobody care about the human police now that Vampires were on the rampage. Maybe human rules didn't apply here; where it had once been against the law to even so much as glare at one of us, now it was the norm to try and destroy the other Vampires before they destroyed you.

I could hear movement in the house; the sound of cupboards opening and closing, the bang of pots against the kitchen worktop. His thoughts were muddled. He had the mind of one who never stopped thinking because to stop thinking – to stop being distracted – would be to notice how much you were hurting. He was wondering about whether he should check in at the station later on in the day, whether to eat the last of the pasta now or later – and where on earth his daughter was and if she was okay.

The next step I took brought my foot onto the gravel driveway, stones crunching under my shoes.

Inside, he froze. He was scared. Who would be coming to visit him? But then he was hopeful as he made his way towards the front door. Maybe it was her, maybe she had come home, maybe…

The door creaked open. His eyes met mine. I found my voice.

"Hello, Charlie."


	40. Charlie

**Disclaimer:**Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**40. Charlie**

Charlie's eyes flickered over to the empty space beside me as though he expected somebody else to be there with me. He couldn't hide the disappointment that showed when he came to the conclusion that I was here alone.

"I need to talk to you," I said when he didn't speak.

He looked nervous then and his mind told me that he knew I was here about Bella; something had happened to her. Of course, Charlie had no idea how big that 'something' was. He shuffled his feet slightly, realising how long he had stood there staring at me. Eventually he stepped to the side, inviting me in.

I'd rarely been in Bella's house – not since she got a little freaked out at me sneaking into her room – but the sight of her old home hurt me. It felt wrong that it should be empty of her presence. I breathed in the air around me but caught no hint of her scent, no sign she had ever been here. The recently laid cement and new plaster buried what little had remained of her after that dreadful night when she was attacked the second time; when I had not been there to protect her.

Charlie led the way into the kitchen, sat down on one of the chairs at the table and indicated for me to do the same. The gesture was only half there; he seemed drained, both physically and mentally. Whereas before his mind was running through vague things quickly, now there was only one thing on his mind: Bella.

"Where is she?" he eventually asked, his voice gruff as though he hadn't spoken in a while. I wondered if that was actually the case; who would Charlie speak to now that Bella had gone?

I sat down because it would make him more comfortable, and then I began.

"It started when Jacob and Tanya were taken by the Volturi."

Charlie's eyes closed as though in defeat. "We never knew you know," he said quietly. "The poor boy just went missing one night – there was no sign of him."

With a jolt I realised Charlie had been living his life without knowing what had happened to either his daughter or his daughter's best friend. I instantly felt guilty.

"What happened to him?"

"He and Tanya," I added her name so that she was not forgotten, "were executed by the Volturi for killing that werewolf."

There was no shock reaction to this. He must have known; you never came across anybody who had a story to tell about being taken by the Volturi in the middle of the night.

"And how does this concern my Bella?" he asked. His voice cracked at her name as though he wasn't used to saying it out loud. Maybe he only thought it now.

"Bella and I ran because by capturing Tanya they knew about mine and Tanya's false Mating and they would want to kill us for it," I explained.

Charlie's eyes narrowed. "Why both of you?" he asked. "Why not just you?"

I didn't flinch at his words; I understood them completely. I even thought of them everyday since Bella had died; _Why not just me? Why had I dragged her into this mess also? _

"Because that's just the way they work." I paused. "Or worked, should I say."

"So what happened?" he demanded. "Did they get her before they fell?"

"Not exactly," I said. I looked him straight in the eyes, wanting to observe his reaction as I told him the biggest news of his life. "She was the one that caused the fall."

Charlie's eyes widened. "You mean…" he trailed off.

I nodded. "She walked into that place laden with a bomb which she detonated, bringing about the destruction of the Volturi."

He stared at me, dumbstruck. In his silence I filled him in about Bella's Gift, about how I didn't know what she was up to until after the event.

"She was the only one in the world who could have done it," I finished.

"That didn't mean she had to do it," he said.

"I know. But she did."

His eyes suddenly filled with tears and he looked down at the kitchen floor as though trying to hide the fact he was sobbing. His shoulders shook. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know whether to reach over and place a comforting hand on his shoulder or try to reassure him that she made the right decision – something I wasn't so convinced about myself.

Suddenly he looked up at me and, to my surprise, he was smiling.

"My little girl did that?" he asked, his voice hoarse. "She brought those monsters down?"

I nodded, unable to think of anything to say. In his mind he was wondering whether Bella had felt any pain. I wanted to reassure him but I wasn't so sure myself.

"I always knew she was special," he went on. "And it's so like Bella to do something like that – she was always thinking of others."

I gave him a small smile. "I think she'd go mad if she heard you saying that."

He laughed. It was an odd sound to come from a crying man. "Why didn't you tell me anything?" he asked.

"You would have been in danger if we had told you anything," I said seriously.

He laughed again but this time it was without humour. "Parents are supposed to protect their children," he sighed. "Not the other way around."

I wished I could understand his pain but I wasn't a father and never would be. I wasn't human either, my mind and emotions worked differently but in that moment, sat in that small kitchen with Charlie Swan surrounded by the smell of new cement and plaster I felt we were the same.

(*)

I stayed with Charlie for the rest of his life. He was all alone. His friends from La Push had taken off once the Vampire attacks had started. All except Billy Black – Jacob's father – who had died just a few months before. He'd taken ill after Jacob was taken and the stress of it all only made everything worse.

Charlie wasn't in a much better state either. I cleaned the house from top to bottom just as Bella would have done. I made sure he was fed and fit enough to work. When he had to quit due to ill health I made sure the house was paid for by doing odd jobs around the town. Most of the time it was guarding houses at night so Vampires wouldn't break in and feed.

Most of the time we talked about Bella but sometimes we discussed other things too. He asked me about his life and I about his. I hated to admit it but since Charlie had been around longer than Bella we could discuss more things. We didn't have the same connection though which was something I missed.

When Charlie was at work or sleeping I would either visit my friends who seemed happy that I had given myself a purpose or stay in Bella's room. Those nights were torn between good and bad; good because I liked to sit there in the room she had slept in when she was here, looking at her things and getting to know her all over again, and bad because I was reminded that I would never see her again.

Charlie hadn't touched her room in over a year and a faint trace of her scent still lingered in the air if I sniffed hard enough. I read her books, I listened to her music and I got to know her better than I had done when she was still here.

I just wish we had had more time together.

Charlie passed away in his sleep fifteen years after I returned to Forks. The world still hadn't righted itself though there were rumours that the Vampire population had dropped mysteriously and they weren't so keen to show themselves to humans anymore when they were feeding.

Still, the health care system was a mess. Since Vampires no longer needed humans to keep happily donating their blood they stopped supplying their services. The humans did the best they could but medical expertise was scarce and given his age and lack of money, Charlie would have been a long way down the list for treatment.

All Carlisle and I could do was make sure he was as comfortable as possible.

A few nights before he died, as though he could sense that the end was near, Charlie called me into his room and I sat by his bed as we had our final conversation.

"I'm glad you came back and told me," he said, his voice raspy and weak.

"It was the least I could do," I replied. Despite it being a decade and a half later I could always hear my voice inside his mind as he went over what I had told him about Bella.

"You're a good man, Edward," he said. "What happened to Bella wasn't your fault."

I hadn't realised until that point that I had secretly felt Charlie blamed me for the death of his daughter.

"I know Bella would have rather died for something she believed in than to have lived in ignorance."

I'd never thought of it that way. Now my emotions had settled down again I could think about what Bella had done with a clear head and I realised he was right. I had to stop thinking about how Bella's decision had affected me. It was her life and she had chosen to do with it what she wished. I had to respect that.

"What are you going to do?" he asked. I didn't need to ask him to clarify. Even without reading his mind I knew he was referring to what I would do after he passed away.

"I don't know yet," I replied. "I think I might go travelling. It's been a while since I've seen the world. I want to know how everything's changed."

He chuckled weakly before coughing violently. I handed him a tissue and gently patted his back.

"I was glad I was around for the Revolution," he told me. "Everything's going to get better now. I just know it."

And he really believed that – I could tell from his mind.

Charlie's death was peaceful. He went to sleep and didn't wake up. I wondered what it would be like to have an end like that. There was no other way to meet my end except in violence.

After he was buried I told Alice of my plans to go and see the world.

"I want to find Bella's mother," I told her. "And then I'm going travelling."

She smiled, knowing what I was going to say before I said it. "We'll meet back in fifty years," she said. "Same place?"

I looked around at the green trees and wet roads that represented Forks; a place I had come to start thinking of as home.

"Same place," I agreed. "I'll meet up with you and the others here in half a decade."

"Edward," Alice said before I could take off. She pulled me into a crushing hug, surprisingly strong for her small frame. "I'm glad you're okay."

I gently pulled away from her, unsure what to say. "Thanks, Alice," I said. "I'll see you in fifty years."

Then I took off, running through the woods, ready to tackle whatever this new and crazy world was going to throw at me.


	41. The Other Girl

**Disclaimer:**Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**41. The Other Girl**

The world had gotten quieter whilst I had stayed in Forks. By the time I got to Phoenix, I had yet to see an attack on either a Vampire or a human. Phoenix, however, was a lot different to what I remembered from my brief visit with Bella all those years ago.

The shacks – similar to the one Bella grew up in – had been torn to the ground. Nothing was left of them except for bits of splintered wood and old rusting pipes. The streets in which the humans once inhabited were quiet. It felt eerie to be walking down them when I had no idea whether this was the result of brutal feeding or if the humans had just moved on to someplace else.

I got my answer when I ventured further into the city. The humans had taken over the posh houses that the Vampires had once inhabited. Where they had once been shiny and clean now they were a mess of broken windows and overgrown hedges. From a safety point of view, the shacks would have been better but it seemed the humans were set on making a point more than anything else.

The irony made me chuckle slightly. When we had ruled over them, Vampires had inhabited posh large houses for which we had no need – we were just proving a point, making them see we had control over them. Now they were doing the same.

"Hey, Vampy!" a voice called from over the road. I turned away from the large wrecked mansion I was looking at to find myself being watched by a skinny man in clothes twice as big as him. He would have looked comical had it not been for his sneering expression and the lit torch in his hand. "What are you looking at? You're not getting your home back – none of you are, you hear me?" His voice shook slightly. He must have realised he was all on his own against a Vampire – one who was no longer bound by rules. Maybe that was why he stuck to his side of the road – as if it would have made a difference!

"This was never my house," I explained calmly. "I'm not from here. I have no interest in property investment." Then I turned and walked away from him, his mind empty from surprise.

I knew something was wrong even before I reached the prison in which Renee and Phil had been being held. From a distance I could see no blur on the horizon, nothing to indicate that there was anything there at all. When I reached the plot, I soon realised why.

The building had been burned to the ground just like all the others. It stood – or, at least, it had done – apart from the nearby housing estate and on the other side there was nothing but stretches and stretches of Arizonian desert.

I stared at the ruins, unsure what to do next. I had been so focused on finding Renee at the prison that I hadn't really thought of what I would do if that wasn't possible. I heard footsteps making their way towards me in the distance and looked up to see an old woman approaching. She was dressed like a nun. Sometimes I wonder if religion will survive anything.

"Are you looking for somebody?" she asked when she reached me. There was no flinching when she looked into my eyes or at the way the sun caught my marble-like skin.

"Yes," I said. For the first time since becoming a Vampire I felt a bit thrown off course in shock. "I'm looking for Renee Dwyer."

The nun made the sign of the cross and took one of my hands in both of hers. Again there was no flinching at the icy temperature.

"I'm afraid nobody by the name of Dwyer made it," she told me.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed sadly. "When the Volturi fell, the Vampires who guarded this prison fed on its inmates as a sign of celebration." There was no menace or hatred in her voice, just calm acceptance. "Some managed to survive and we took them in as refugees but I'm afraid Renee Dwyer was not one of them."

I stared at her, unable to believe what I was hearing. Renee had died because the Volturi had fallen. I didn't even know how to respond to what the nun had said so instead I just replied, "Refugees?"

She nodded. "We used to take in the homeless, the ones who couldn't afford even a shack but now we've become more of a form of protection against you lot." She smiled up at me. "Vampires are becoming quite afraid of religion now you know. We think it's got something to do with the rumours going round that God killed the Volturi."

I wanted to tell her that that had been my Bella but I kept my mouth shut. After all, every legend has its different forms. People just tended to believed what would help them.

"Would you like to take some shelter?" she asked me kindly.

I stared at her aghast. She was offering me shelter? Me, a Vampire, who would just take up room and possibly make the other humans uncomfortable?

"I…I have to go," I said, stuttering for the first time in a long time. "But thank you," I added so as not to appear rude.

The nun nodded, smiling kindly as though she understood my discomfort. "You're welcome," she said. "And I'm sorry for your loss."

I looked at the wreckage of bricks and soot and metal. "I never even met her," I found myself saying. "She was my Mate's mother."

She nodded again. It was like she understood me completely, like she could feel what I was feeling.

"I have to go," I said, suddenly wanting to get as far away from here as possible. "Thank you for…listening." She smiled at me again and then I left, speeding through the desert landscape, kicking tufts of sand up with my feet. I didn't know where I was going but I needed to run somewhere.

Renee was gone. My last connection to Bella had gone up in a blaze of smoke. Now I was truly on my own.

(*)

Fifty years passed and the world settled down. Vampires slowly faded into the shadows and humans began to build things for themselves. I travelled from continent to continent, watching from the outside as they rebuilt cities that had burnt down, established leaders and moved on with their lives. I watched them burn books and documents written by Vampires; the very knowledge of my people going up in smoke.

It was kind of beautiful but sad at the same time. Beautiful because there was no secondary race or species, nobody ruled unfairly over another. But it was sad because our history, the history of people like me – the Vampires – faded into dust.

I didn't see any werewolves in that half a century. I could only assume the Vampires had near enough wiped them out over the years. I did bump into some old friends though; the monkey shifters Tanya and I had encountered before.

"Long time no see," their leader said, smiling at me. "A lot has happened since we last met hasn't it?" We were sitting in a tree, her friends jumped from branch to branch above us in their monkey Shapes.

"Yes it has," I replied. I wasn't used to speaking but my words came out with no trouble. After all, it wasn't like vocal chords could become dormant. I was frozen, never changing, always perfect. Sometimes I hated it.

"But for the better, yes?" she asked, her brown eyes searching every inch of my face. She wanted my honest opinion.

I thought of the humans rebuilding their lost civilisation; the one we had forcibly taken from them.

"I suppose so," I replied. "Everything swings in roundabouts."

"Ah!" She pointed at me with her long finger. "You don't think it will last do you?"

I thought about her question seriously for a moment before I gave her a smile and said, "I think it will at least outlive me."

She laughed with me before giving me a hug goodbye and shifting into her Shape, and swinging off into the trees to join her group. Before she disappeared out of sight I saw her twitch her tail in goodbye.

The shifters never started off as human. They were something else entirely; they were made of magic where we were made of darkness. Though it was clear they would never fully merge with humanity, I wished them the best.

Everybody was pleased to see me when I returned to Forks. They happily filled me in on everything that I had missed. The others had gone travelling but Carlisle and Esme had stayed behind, constructing a shelter in the woods.

"Esme designed the whole thing," Carlisle explained, looking fondly at his Mate. "But you know how she can go overboard. What was supposed to be a small place we could call home turned into a grand mansion."

"Home?" I questioned.

"It's somewhere where we can just be ourselves," Alice explained, grinning from ear to ear. "It's hidden deep in the woods so we don't think any human could find it easily. At least, not for now."

"Why would we need somewhere where we can be ourselves?" I questioned.

"Edward! Where have you been for the last fifty years, man?" Emmett smirked. "It's a whole new world now – we can't go flaunting ourselves in front of the humans. They're just getting used to life without us."

"So, deep in the woods, we have some place to call our own where we can meet up and be a family," Rosalie announced. She was beaming just as much as Alice. It didn't look right on her.

"A family?" Jasper repeated, cocking an eyebrow. "You sound so human."

"Well, I think we are a family," Esme announced. "Right, Edward?"

I looked at them all; my friends who I had felt I had known forever. Even in my fifty years of absence I never once thought I couldn't return to them. Maybe that was what a family was. Maybe you didn't need a Mate or a romantic interest to be a family; you just needed someone there to welcome you with open arms when you came back.

"I suppose so," I said, keeping my cool.

"Hopefully in a few decades I can return to working at the hospital," Carlisle went on. "When there's nobody left to remember me."

"But until then there's always research to conduct," Jasper said looking at Carlisle. I had a feeling there was a lab built into this mansion somewhere.

"And businesses to advise," Alice offered. We all looked at her. "What?" she asked. "Surely I'm allowed to use my Gift for good things now the Volturi are no longer here. What's wrong with helping the humans get back on their feet?"

We couldn't think of an argument so we let it drop.

"Are you coming to see the house, Edward?" Alice asked, grabbing my arm.

"Not yet," I said. "I think I'll take a walk and meet up with you at night."

She looked disappointed but all she said was, "Was fifty years not enough?" before she smiled, winked and took off with the others as they headed to their…home.

I walked for hours, traipsing through the overgrowth at human speed. It seemed odd, after so many years of things never stopping to suddenly come here to a house where everything was at a standstill. The era of the Vampires was over now. There was no more governing or guarding or organised feeding. We were free to do whatever we wanted but I didn't know what I wanted to do with my eternity. Not yet.

I heard somebody approaching and stopped suddenly, sniffing the air cautiously. It was human. I watched the bushes move as they made their way through, hacking themselves a path before tripping and falling out of the overgrowth and down to my feet.

"Oops," the girl said, giggling. "Lost my footing a bit there." She bounced up and looked up at me, brushing herself down, blushing slightly. Light blonde hair framed her face and her eyes were a deep green. I could smell the blood flooding her face. My throat burned.

"Sorry about that," she said. "You wouldn't happen to know where I am do you? I'm a bit lost and I was looking for the way back to town."

I blinked, trying to push the sound of her beating heart out of my mind. In her mind she was wondering if I was lost too and the idea of it made her feel a bit panicky.

I smiled reassuringly at her. "Don't worry, I know the way to town," I said. "I can take you back if you like?"

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Please. I'm not good at following directions. That's how I ended up here in the first place. I was looking for this clearing my grandma found when she was a girl and – oh! Sorry, I'm Lisa by the way." She held out her hand and I stared at it. "I know people don't shake hands anymore but my grandma's always going on about the good old days when everybody did it. I guess I've just grown up with it." I shook her hand. She winced. "Wow, your hands are cold. Do you want some gloves? I always take an extra pair for emergencies."

I declined. "I'm Edward," I introduced myself and I led her through the woods and back to town.

We talked all the way there. I told her I was new in town, that I was visiting some family. She told me how she had grown up here and how she loved it.

"I suppose I shouldn't say that," she told me. "Most people tend to be all 'I can't wait to leave for the beach' or 'I can't wait to hit the city' but I like it here. It's home, you know?"

I smiled. "Yes, I do know."


	42. vampires

******Disclaimer: **Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

**42. vampires**

The next day found me waiting outside Forks High School for Lisa. I liked Lisa. She was funny and chatty. I had been a bit sad when we'd reached the town and gone our separate ways. Still, I felt kind of awkward waiting for her. It had been a long time since I had made a new friend.

The school hadn't changed much in the last fifty years though the teaching staff certainly had. You wouldn't find one of us working a public job nowadays. In fact, you wouldn't find any of us working at all now. We no longer needed to provide a service in order to get blood. Those days were long gone.

Lisa was very surprised when she saw me standing over the road from the school. She said goodbye to her group of friends and walked over to me.

"Hey," she said, smiling. "What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting for you."

"Really?" She seemed touched. "Thanks but I know my way home from here." I laughed with her. "You know," she said. "I never did get to thank you properly for saving my butt yesterday. Do you want to come round to mine? My grandma will be there and she makes this awesome lemonade..." As she talked she started walking down the street and I followed beside her, listening to her human drabble.

Once, in a brief lapse of silence, she bit her lip and I was reminded of Bella for a moment. The memory of her didn't hurt as much as it had done years before. It was nice to be able to think of her without crumbling. Maybe Lisa would be just what I needed to move on.

Lisa lived in a newly built home that boasted a garage and a porch. It was odd walking up to such a nice place and knowing it was owned by a human. She dumped her bag at the bottom of the stairs.

"Come in," she said. "Make yourself at home. I'll have to introduce you to my grandma first though – she's dying to meet you ever since I told her you'd rescued me from getting lost in the woods. Honestly, by the way she was going on yesterday you'd have sworn she was going to buy a hat for our wedding." She laughed at the absurdity of it all and I chuckled slightly though I was a bit perplexed. What did hats have to do with weddings?

She led me into a spacious living room where a wrinkled old woman was sat in a wheelchair, watching the TV. She looked up when Lisa tapped her on the shoulder and when her eyes fell on me she gasped.

"What are you doing here?" she cried, gripping the arms of her wheelchair so tightly her knuckles turned an alarming white.

I stared at her, unsure what she was talking about but then an image – no, a memory – flashed through her mind. She was thinking of me, only in her thoughts I had a wild glint in my eye and my chin ran with freshly spilled blood. The same blood that had spattered the walls of the church's meeting room.

Angela Weber.

I tried to think of something to say but before I could, she was pointing at me with a shaking hand and screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Demon! Get him out! He's a Vampire! Lisa, get this…this monster away from here now!"

"Grandma!" Lisa cried, sounding both shocked and disgusted. I looked at her in panic. I didn't want to lose the friendship I was forming with Lisa over Angela's prejudiced mind. "Be quiet or I'll phone the nurses to sedate you again."

Angela fell quiet and stared at her granddaughter as though trying to see if she was bluffing. I slipped quietly out of the room.

I had been intent on leaving for a bit – just until things had quietened down. I could always contact Lisa again, make up some excuse for not going back to hers.

"Where are you going?" her voice asked from behind me. I turned to find her in the hallway, closing the living room door behind her. "Lemonade's this way," she said, nodding her head towards a door further down the corridor.

Unsure how to respond, I followed her into a brightly lit kitchen where she began pulling glasses down from the cupboards.

"You'll have to forgive my grandma," she said, pouring lemonade into the glasses. It smelled sickly sweet and I realised then that she would expect me to drink it. If we were to blend in now and not be seen then we would have to act human. That meant eating and drinking, walking at normal pace and – heck – I might even have to start attending High School! "She's getting on a bit now. Her mind's not what it used to be."

"It's okay," I assured her, speaking up for the first time. She handed me my glass and I took it, feeling anxious about drinking it. I'd have to regurgitate it later. Only blood seeped into our veins.

Lisa took a sip of hers. "I mean, some of the stuff she comes out with is just crazy!" I took a swig of the lemonade, forced back a wince as the sweetness flooded my mouth and I felt it slide all the way down to the useless depths of my stomach. The discomfort of drinking was soon forgotten, however, because what Lisa said next filled me with joy and truly marked the start of a new era for the world.

"Everybody knows there are no such things as vampires."

I couldn't help but beam and lift my eyes to the heavens.

You did it, Bella.

**THE END**


End file.
